DD wants a purity ring

[LuvinLucifer]

Most parents who think their kids don't do it are right.

That's true, especially when you take demographics into account.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My point, however, is that someone's kids are doing it. I agree with luvmy3, it's naive to think it can't be our own.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

And also, although those statistics represented live births - think of the number of pregnancies that didn't make it to birth.

The rates did not allow for abortion, miscarriage and other pregnancy losses, which presumably would make the pregnancy rates significantly higher for 10-14 yr olds.

 

[Robbi]

That's true, especially when you take demographics into account.

The demographics for live births? If it is, then that doesn't mean teens are not having sex.

If a survey was taken amongst middle and high school aged kids, how many would own up to having sex? As a kid, I remember we always looked upon those surveys with suspicion. If we had been having sex or doing drugs ( depending upon the survey), there's no way in heck we would have said we were.

 

[ilovemk76]

The 8 highest states are in the Deep South. That is where most of the purity ring pushing churches. A coincidence?!!! I think not.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Not sure how we went from "we need purity rings to ward of the evils of premarital sex for 11 year olds" to "sex absolutely can't be happening in my 11 yr old", but I see we've done it.

 

[Robbi]

The 8 highest states are in the Deep South. That is where most of the purity ring pushing churches. A coincidence?!!! I think not.

Where did you get the statistics for this?

 

[luvmy3]

And also, although those statistics represented live births - think of the number of pregnancies that didn't make it to birth.

The rates did not allow for abortion, miscarriage and other pregnancy losses, which presumably would make the pregnancy rates significantly higher for 10-14 yr olds.

The demographics for live births? If it is, then that doesn't mean teens are not having sex.

If a survey was taken amongst middle and high school aged kids, how many would own up to having sex? As a kid, I remember we always looked upon those surveys with suspicion. If we had been having sex or doing drugs ( depending upon the survey), there's no way in heck we would have said we were.

It doesn't take into account teens engaging in non intercourse sexual activity either.

 

[luvsJack]

What does the ring cover? Just actual intercourse, but everything up to it is okay? Just kissing? further? less?

There is so much they can do except for that last physical act, everything else is okay to do with someone you aren't going to marry? or not?

Is there a book of somekind or directions or are they just supposed to wing it?

Really? You seriously would ask something like that?

The ring doesn't "cover" anything. It doesn't "do" anything. Its a symbol. Whatever it means to the wearer is between her/him and God.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

Where did you get the statistics for this?

The CDC and the National Bureau of Vital Statistics.

Those same 8 states rank highly on all sorts of undesirable lists.

ETA, I assumed you meant the birth statistics. As to the prevalence of purity rings, I'd look at populations of evangelicals in the state and extrapolate from there, but I don't know that statistic in particular (nor was I the poster you were questioning, either). Those states do have a whole bunch of issues, though!

 

[luvsJack]

The CDC and the National Bureau of Vital Statistics.

Those same 8 states rank highly on all sorts of undesirable lists.

ETA, I assumed you meant the birth statistics. As to the prevalence of purity rings, I'd look at populations of evangelicals in the state and extrapolate from there, but I don't know that statistic in particular (nor was I the poster you were questioning, either). Those states do have a whole bunch of issues, though!

A lot of those "issues" come from the low income, number of two parent households, etc. in those states.

The states that have a high number of teen pregnancies have had that statistic for a large number of years. Long before most churches started truly addressing any of this with their youth.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Too lazy to read all 37 pages. My son wears a purity ring. He has a girlfriend. So far they have kept their pledge, but a ring is not going to stop anything. Not that naive to think it.

My DD was the same way. She is active now and in college. She told me so she could have all her information prior to her decision. I expect DS will be the same way.

So far he is committed to it. College now that is a total different environment.

 

[Colleen27]

And also, although those statistics represented live births - think of the number of pregnancies that didn't make it to birth.

The rates did not allow for abortion, miscarriage and other pregnancy losses, which presumably would make the pregnancy rates significantly higher for 10-14 yr olds.

That was actually broken down further into the document you linked, if anyone is curious.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

That was actually broken down further into the document you linked, if anyone is curious.

Thank you for pointing that out. I saw it, but spaced out, apparently.

 

[ebtbmom]

Honestly, I haven't read all of this, has OP? My two cents, the idea that a person's worth or "purity" is based on the fact that they are a virgin creeps me out. When a teen/young adult has sex for the first time they are not suddenly a lesser human, which I feel that these kinds of things, rings and pledges, insinuate.

I talk candidly with DS about these issues, and I urge him to wait primarily because he's not ready to father a child, plus the fear of STDs. In no way though do I associate his worth with his eventual sex life.

I was raised in a fundamentalist home and I was pretty sure that when I finally had sex in college that I was a demoralized piece of trash unworthy of love or a meaningful life.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Really? You seriously would ask something like that?

The ring doesn't "cover" anything. It doesn't "do" anything. Its a symbol. Whatever it means to the wearer is between her/him and God.

Well, apparently I would.

If it's supposed to be a "symbol of purity", shouldn't actual purity be a prerequisite to wearing one? Wouldn't any form of premarital sex be breaking the "symbolism" of it?

Otherwise its just a practice of talk the talk but don't walk the walk and it means nothing.

 

[ashley0139]

Well, apparently I would.

If it's supposed to be a "symbol of purity", shouldn't actual purity be a prerequisite to wearing one? Wouldn't any form of premarital sex be breaking the "symbolism" of it?

Otherwise its just a practice of talk the talk but don't walk the walk and it means nothing.

I totally agree with you. And what is the line of pure and not pure?

 

[disykat]

Symbols are just symbols and open for interpretation. That interpretation often changes over time. Take the white wedding dress or bridal veil for example. Both used to be symbols of purity.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Symbols are just symbols and open for interpretation. That interpretation often changes over time. Take the white wedding dress or bridal veil for example. Both used to be symbols of purity.

a white wedding dress was a symbol of wealth, not purity. It was to show off that you were rich enough to buy a dress that would only be worn once--and patterned after Queen Victoria's dress in 1840. In short, it was nothing more than a trendy fashion statement--adding a connotation of "purity" to it was added much later, and by etiquette writers. Heck, typical, middle class women rarely wore white before the mid 1940s--the "tradition" is not even a century old for normal people.

 

[disykat]

a white wedding dress was a symbol of wealth, not purity. It was to show off that you were rich enough to buy a dress that would only be worn once--and patterned after Queen Victoria's dress in 1840. In short, it was nothing more than a trendy fashion statement--adding a connotation of "purity" to it was added much later, and by etiquette writers. Heck, typical, middle class women rarely wore white before the mid 1940s--the "tradition" is not even a century old for normal people.

Your post exactly illustrates my point!