DD rushing for sorority this Fall - need help...

[scrapgal123]

My daughter has decided to rush this fall. I, of course, am super stressed and worried about the process. Also about the possible rejection afterwards.... In our family, no one has ever gone through this process, so I am clueless. Actually, I only have 1 co-worker that I know that was in a sorority. So, is there any tips, suggestions, advice that we should know?

 

[emma'smom]

Only that she should relax, enjoy the process, and focus on finding the one that is the best match for her, not just the "party reputation". Sometimes the lesser known houses may be a really great experience...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My daughter has decided to rush this fall. I, of course, am super stressed and worried about the process. Also about the possible rejection afterwards.... In our family, no one has ever gone through this process, so I am clueless. Actually, I only have 1 co-worker that I know that was in a sorority. So, is there any tips, suggestions, advice that we should know?

If she gets in can you afford the extra cost associated with it? My dd rushed and got in and yowsa, the extra costs were astronomical.

They had to pay memberships, dues, clothes, fundraising, formals, etc....

 

[mfd25wife]

My daughter has decided to rush this fall. I, of course, am super stressed and worried about the process. Also about the possible rejection afterwards.... In our family, no one has ever gone through this process, so I am clueless. Actually, I only have 1 co-worker that I know that was in a sorority. So, is there any tips, suggestions, advice that we should know?

My dd is in a sorority. Tell her to meet as many girls as she can from the different ones. The more who know her name, the better. The sorority sisters where DD goes to school have been sending fb requests like crazy. They definitely look at FB there for things that they deem as negative. They understand that many may have had "fun" times in the past but they are looking at now and the last couple of months to see what the girls post and their pictures. The fraternities there tell the sororities about good behavior and bad since they will have already had some parties and will have more before recruitment. I don't know about everywhere, but at her university, they look at grades, activities, reference letters, etc. Send me a pm or ask here if you have questions. I know the different universities will be a little different, but maybe I can answer some.

 

[tvguy]

If she gets in can you afford the extra cost associated with it? My dd rushed and got in and yowsa, the extra costs were astronomical.

They had to pay memberships, dues, clothes, fundraising, formals, etc....

A valid question to explore. Back when I was in college, there was actually a sorority that really held the line on costs, they were cheaper than the dorms.

 

[Laura66]

Only that she should relax, enjoy the process, and focus on finding the one that is the best match for her, not just the "party reputation". Sometimes the lesser known houses may be a really great experience...

This!

If she doesn't get into the one she wants of course it will be disappointing. But that's part of growing up.

I was very apprehensive when my daughter rushed - but it was a wonderful experience for her. She served on the exec board and made great friends!

Good luck!

 

[clh2]

My daughter joined a sorority last year - and got into her first choice.

I am so "anti-greek" and I found it hard to be supportive at first. I went to college in the days when "Animal House" accurately described what really happened back in the early 80's.

Yes - there is an expense to being in a sorority. But in my DD's case - living in the sorority house this year is much cheaper than living in the dorms (and dorms are required for your first 2 years at this university) - so in 2-years it is a wash. The only "out" is living in a greek house.

The fundraising isn't too bad - DD needed to sell $35 in magazines, (DH and I each bought 1) and DD needed to sell 5 tickets to a pancake breakfast. There was other fundraising, but it wasn't out of pocket.

Being in a sorority has been GREAT for DD. DD had bizarre roommate problems at the beginning of the freshman year. Being in a sorority was a great counter-balance to all of the roommate crap that was going on.

DD needs to do some sort of volunteer activities that total 15 hours per semester. And - as far as grades go - DD's sorority has the highest GPA of any greek frat or sorority on campus.

And - while "yes" there are formals - DD is wearing her favorite dresses from high school homecoming and turn-about dances. So - that was not an additional expense at all. Even the formals were only about $20 per couple, so just about the cost of a movie at a regular theater.

Now - my DD totally enjoyed the rush process.

The words of advice my DD would give are:- GO FOR IT. You may decide you are really interested, you may decide you aren't interested. You may meet some really great people during the process - that may just become friends whether or not you or they make it into a sorority.

At DD's campus - there are recruitment "aides" that help guide the recruits through the process. There are 3-different events, the first you meet with all sororities (there are only 6 on campus) and the 2nd event is a narrowing down event. The final event is more of a matchmaking one with your top two choices.

My DD has loved it! And while she is not able to be involved in the active recruitment process (due to her job as a Student Aid on campus) she is really excited that she can be a "big sister" this year!

And - one other thing I would suggest (me - not my DD) research each of the sororities a little bit before the recruitment begins. Most have some info online about their philanthropic endeavors (DD's supports a couple of not-for profits, one actively by volunteering, and another financially.) And - tell her to not be afraid to "drop out of the process" either. Someone my DD met through the process last year turned out to be a good friend of DD's. For this young lady - the last event which I call the matchmaking one - the final sororities that were interested in this girl were the ones she was least interested in - so she dropped out.

Good Luck to your DD - regardless of her decision!

 

[Laura66]

My daughter joined a sorority last year - and got into her first choice.

I am so "anti-greek" and I found it hard to be supportive at first. I went to college in the days when "Animal House" accurately described what really happened back in the early 80's.

Yes - there is an expense to being in a sorority. But in my DD's case - living in the sorority house this year is much cheaper than living in the dorms (and dorms are required for your first 2 years at this university) - so in 2-years it is a wash. The only "out" is living in a greek house.

The fundraising isn't too bad - DD needed to sell $35 in magazines, (DH and I each bought 1) and DD needed to sell 5 tickets to a pancake breakfast. There was other fundraising, but it wasn't out of pocket.

Being in a sorority has been GREAT for DD. DD had bizarre roommate problems at the beginning of the freshman year. Being in a sorority was a great counter-balance to all of the roommate crap that was going on.

DD needs to do some sort of volunteer activities that total 15 hours per semester. And - as far as grades go - DD's sorority has the highest GPA of any greek frat or sorority on campus.

And - while "yes" there are formals - DD is wearing her favorite dresses from high school homecoming and turn-about dances. So - that was not an additional expense at all. Even the formals were only about $20 per couple, so just about the cost of a movie at a regular theater.

Now - my DD totally enjoyed the rush process.

The words of advice my DD would give are:- GO FOR IT. You may decide you are really interested, you may decide you aren't interested. You may meet some really great people during the process - that may just become friends whether or not you or they make it into a sorority.

At DD's campus - there are recruitment "aides" that help guide the recruits through the process. There are 3-different events, the first you meet with all sororities (there are only 6 on campus) and the 2nd event is a narrowing down event. The final event is more of a matchmaking one with your top two choices.

My DD has loved it! And while she is not able to be involved in the active recruitment process (due to her job as a Student Aid on campus) she is really excited that she can be a "big sister" this year!

And - one other thing I would suggest (me - not my DD) research each of the sororities a little bit before the recruitment begins. Most have some info online about their philanthropic endeavors (DD's supports a couple of not-for profits, one actively by volunteering, and another financially.) And - tell her to not be afraid to "drop out of the process" either. Someone my DD met through the process last year turned out to be a good friend of DD's. For this young lady - the last event which I call the matchmaking one - the final sororities that were interested in this girl were the ones she was interested in - so she dropped out.

Good Luck to your DD - regardless of her decision!

I gotta quote this as well! Y'all are more articulate than I am!

 

[clh2]

Adding - a bit about the cost:

(I do not recall what the dues and sorority expenses were - as DD needed to pay those)

As a sophomore - DD is required to live in the house. That cost for room and board is $3000 per semester. The cost to live in the dorms (double occupancy) at DD's school is $4525/semester. That is $3050 for the year less expensive in the sorority than in the dorms. Whoo hoo!

 

[cobright]

How's her tolerance? She needs to be able to hold her own in this regard. There was no Greek on my campus (and this was a while ago) but we did have a cadet corp and if anyone knows hazing it's military cadets.

Let me see if I can pull any useful tidbits out of storage...

Oh! ok...

Guard your meals in the cafeteria. You gotta eat every meal to keep your strength up and they will steal your food right off your tray if you let them.

Pick someone a little bigger and slightly less feminine than yourself and make friends. Gonna need a friend in this.

Never go to the shower or laundry alone.

If the environment gets hostile, she's gonna have to cut someone. Before it gets to that point it is important for her to learn who has powerful friends and who's dogfood.

umm.... wait, what?

 

[mhfrau]

I can speak for the rejection part. I went through rush at my very popular southern school during my freshman year and after the 2nd round, got no bids. I was absolutely devastated. My friends, who did pledge, sat me down and told me that I probably needed to change my appearance and be more mainstream. This was the mid-eighties and I had a "flock of seagulls" hairdo with pink stripes

My next year, I had long, blond, electric roller type hair, wore much more normal clothes and had a great rush. I ended up pledging a sorority, and by the end of the year hated it! I quit of my own.

I'm sure it's a lot different now, but just enjoy the process, and if she doesn't get selected, tell her she can try again

 

[trip]

The whole recruitment process varies so much from school to school. Some are much more competitive than others.

There is a site greekchat.com that has lots of info.

 

[asta]

My daughter is a rush officer in a sorority at a big southern school with a strong Greek community. The single best thing that you can do to improve your rush experience is to know someone or make a connection with the girls in a sorority. So many of the decisions are made ahead of time. It helps so much to have someone already in a sorority advocating for your daughter. There is often a pipeline for girls from a high school pulling for younger girls they know. If this isn't possible at least let your daughter know what she is facing. That can lessen the sting if she doesn't get invitations from certain houses. The rejection is not about her but more a reflection of connections that others might have.

Other posters have good advice. I hope she can relax and enjoy the process. I just think it helps to know what is really going on. Sorority rush is such a tough process. Even if you end up with a good match there is plenty of rejection along the way. The process is designed where you get less invitations each round. Your daughter is bound to feel a little rejected even if she is being invited back to some sororities she likes. Be there to support her and keep her spirits up.

Rush was too tough for me to go through when I was in college. I have nothing but admiration for those who can make it through.

 

[mfd25wife]

I'm not sure where she is going but to elaborate on some of the ones that mentioned rejection, DD's university NPC dictates how many girls can be in each sorority so they are told at the beginning of recruitment week how many are rushing and how many they can accept. They start going to every sorority. The second night they start receiving invitations based on the sororities that still have them on their list after the first night and introduces them to their philanthropy. The third night is pref night where they put the ones they are still interested in of the ones that still have them on their lists. They can go to 3 that night. After that, they put down their top two choices and then the computer matches them to the sorority based on the girl and the sororities lists. The sisters don't know who their new pledges are until they go to the house when they get their bids. They have an idea but not definite.

Tell your dd to look at the ones she fits in best with since she will hear the philanthropy and she will hear pretty quickly which ones are known for grades, spirit, partying. etc. It's fun to hear about the sorority competition on which has the best gpa, which one has a girl win the university pageant, which one wins most of homecoming court, stomp competition, etc.

 

[eliza61]

If she gets in can you afford the extra cost associated with it? My dd rushed and got in and yowsa, the extra costs were astronomical.

They had to pay memberships, dues, clothes, fundraising, formals, etc....

LOL. You're not kidding. I just returned to my undergraduate campus for my sorority's 95th chapter anniversary. Skee wee AKA!!

Anyhow I have not been financially active in quite a while. So I thought, hey I'll start participating. cost to reactivate? 1,000 bucks. whew.

Now as for the rejection. I got rejected my first try out. I got over it and tried again. Never asked why I was rejected. luckily for me my parents were not the type to shield their kids from disappointments so I was definitely the "pick yourself up, dust yourself off" type of college student.

 

[LibOzZoHam]

The rejection is super difficult. I was rejected the first go round, but the I got the bid I wanted during my second recruitment. I loved my sorority and would do it all (rejection included) again!

Someone mentioned hazing. That's a huge no-no in NPC sororities. For example, while I was an active, one of our new members went off on her own, got INCREDIBLY drunk with a bunch of non-greeks and our chapter was put on social probation because it could have appeared to outsiders that we had hazed her.

Depending on where she's going, she may or may not need recommendations for the sororities on campus. Recommendations are written by alumnae of the sorority and she will need at least one for each group.

I second whoever said greekchat.com. It's a wealth of information from people in all different greek organizations.

 

[fae]

My daughter joined a sorority last year - and got into her first choice.

I am so "anti-greek" and I found it hard to be supportive at first. I went to college in the days when "Animal House" accurately described what really happened back in the early 80's.

Yes - there is an expense to being in a sorority. But in my DD's case - living in the sorority house this year is much cheaper than living in the dorms (and dorms are required for your first 2 years at this university) - so in 2-years it is a wash. The only "out" is living in a greek house.

The fundraising isn't too bad - DD needed to sell $35 in magazines, (DH and I each bought 1) and DD needed to sell 5 tickets to a pancake breakfast. There was other fundraising, but it wasn't out of pocket.

Being in a sorority has been GREAT for DD. DD had bizarre roommate problems at the beginning of the freshman year. Being in a sorority was a great counter-balance to all of the roommate crap that was going on.

DD needs to do some sort of volunteer activities that total 15 hours per semester. And - as far as grades go - DD's sorority has the highest GPA of any greek frat or sorority on campus.

And - while "yes" there are formals - DD is wearing her favorite dresses from high school homecoming and turn-about dances. So - that was not an additional expense at all. Even the formals were only about $20 per couple, so just about the cost of a movie at a regular theater.

Now - my DD totally enjoyed the rush process.

The words of advice my DD would give are:- GO FOR IT. You may decide you are really interested, you may decide you aren't interested. You may meet some really great people during the process - that may just become friends whether or not you or they make it into a sorority.

At DD's campus - there are recruitment "aides" that help guide the recruits through the process. There are 3-different events, the first you meet with all sororities (there are only 6 on campus) and the 2nd event is a narrowing down event. The final event is more of a matchmaking one with your top two choices.

My DD has loved it! And while she is not able to be involved in the active recruitment process (due to her job as a Student Aid on campus) she is really excited that she can be a "big sister" this year!

And - one other thing I would suggest (me - not my DD) research each of the sororities a little bit before the recruitment begins. Most have some info online about their philanthropic endeavors (DD's supports a couple of not-for profits, one actively by volunteering, and another financially.) And - tell her to not be afraid to "drop out of the process" either. Someone my DD met through the process last year turned out to be a good friend of DD's. For this young lady - the last event which I call the matchmaking one - the final sororities that were interested in this girl were the ones she was least interested in - so she dropped out.

Good Luck to your DD - regardless of her decision!

Is your daughter a KD? That description of philanthropy is pretty specific to us.

 

[Ginny Favers]

Rushing a sorority was one of the most harrowing experiences of my young life. I am not joking. I am very shy and did it only because every girl on my floor was doing it, and I imagined staying home late most nights, alone.

The rejection was horrible. The girls were so conceited and obnoxious-- I never would have been friends with them otherwise. Not being very social, I had a hard time working the room. Then, when I got in, the costs were crazy. I dropped out the very next year and moved off-campus with a bunch of more like-minded people.

 

[bethy]

I agree that networking is the single most important thing your daughter can do ahead of time and quite honestly, she's behind schedule on that if she hasn't done it already. She should also do some research on the greek system at her particular school.

And this sounds both obvious and a little off-putting, but she should be absolutely meticulous about every detail of her appearance and first impression because she will talk to hundreds of sorority members in a very short period of time. There is very little time to make that first impression - especially if she hasn't done a lot of networking ahead of time.

She CAN try again later if it doesn't work out. BUT in general her options will be much more limited after the first go-round for incoming freshman.

Otherwise, she should smile, be friendly and try to relax and have fun during the process. For real - it will make the process smoother and also give her more options.

 

[MrsPete]

My daughter has decided to rush this fall. I, of course, am super stressed and worried about the process. Also about the possible rejection afterwards.... In our family, no one has ever gone through this process, so I am clueless. Actually, I only have 1 co-worker that I know that was in a sorority. So, is there any tips, suggestions, advice that we should know?

I mean this in the nicest possible way: Why are you "super stressed and worried" about a social organization for your daughter?

If this is something she wants, be supportive, help her a little with her wardrobe, set limits on how much you'll spend on this group, and let her run with it. Either it'll happen, or it won't.