Daughters who have lost their Mother

[ckdsnynt]

Suzanne - would it be possible for me to get that icing recipie? I love carrot cake and make it all the time - but we almost never ice it anymore because it's great without it and I think that the cream cheese icing is so heavy.


I don't know if your recipie includes this but I put a can of crushed pineapple in the batter and it adds such a nice taste and texture to it.

Thanks.

I would love to have the icing recipie too! I also add the pineapple to my carrot cake. That is my DH's favorite cake.


My DM passed away in January 2008 from complications of diabetes combined with the nursing home she was in not taking care of her when they found her. I go by the cemetary every day on the way to my house from work. Sometimes I would like to sell this house and move so I wouldn't have to go by there. But I know if I don't take care of her gravesite no one else will.

I don't know why I posted here. We all seem like such lost souls...

Maybe it gets easier, but not by much.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I too don't have any kids so what we do for Mothers day is celebrate Wifes Day. I may not be a mom but I am a wife and I provide the same love and caring that a mom does. DH gets me a card and flowers and tells me how much he appreciates all that I do for him. Then we go to the cemetary to visit my mom. Same thing for Fathers day we celebrate Husband's Day.

Suzanne would there be a way you and your DH could go to the cemetry a few days before Mothers Day? Your Mom would like for you to visit and she knows how hard it is for you. So if you go before Mothers day she will understand. That way on Mothers day you won't have to go there by yourself and you will at least feel good knowing you did go a few days before hand.

Easter will be hard for me as well, mom and I loved Easter. Mother's Day has been really hard for me since I can't have children, but it got alot harder after I lost mom and it might be tougher this year since DH has to work that weekend, he usually keeps me in check. I don't know what I will do, it is hard to go to the cemetary and I won't go by myself.




I became as orphan at 35, and it wasn't because both parents are deceased, my father walked out on us when I was 9 months old. My grandparents are also gone and so is my favorite aunt. It is hard to be parentless, even if you are an adult

Suzanne

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

for you. You posted here because you share a common thing with all of us. We have all experience the same things you are. We all understand what you are feeling and going through. We are glad to have you here.

Yes it can be hard to drive by. I use to work about two miles from the cemetry and sometimes on my lunch hour I would drive down and eat my lunch in the car. I felt as though I was having lunch with Mom. Sometimes the work day was so hectic that it was nice to get away and go to the cemetry where it was quiet and peaceful.

I would love to have the icing recipie too! I also add the pineapple to my carrot cake. That is my DH's favorite cake.


My DM passed away in January 2008 from complications of diabetes combined with the nursing home she was in not taking care of her when they found her. I go by the cemetary every day on the way to my house from work. Sometimes I would like to sell this house and move so I wouldn't have to go by there. But I know if I don't take care of her gravesite no one else will.

I don't know why I posted here. We all seem like such lost souls...

Maybe it gets easier, but not by much.

 

[ktdaiwik]

I just lost my mum on the 24th March 2010.I am dreading Mothers Day...
She died 2 days after our little man turned 6.He got to spend his Birthday at the hospital with her.We arrived back in Australia from Canada not a week before she passed.People tell me how lucky I was to be with her,but don't understand how hard the last 2 days were before she passed away....
It is so hard to say I don't have a mum here and I feel so lost without her,especially now we are back in Canada and I can't just phone her...
hugs Kate

 

[3happydancers]

It will be just 10 months since I lost my mom. It feels like it was just yesterday. The last 8 months of her life was spent suffering. She had emergency open heart surgery (quadrupal bypass) and lost all kidney function. The last months of her life was spent hooked up to a dialysis machine which made her extremely sick and weak. On 6/13/09 she was once again rushed to the hospital only to find out that her aeorta was tearing but she was so unstable that they could not attempt to save her. My mom also suffered from diabetes.

My mom and I were very close. I could always depend on her for advice, support, and a good laugh. When my mom died so did a part of me. A big void now fills that spot. I still spend countless times just sobbing...

And this past weekend, my younger brother was found at his home not breathing. He is now on a repirator with kidney failure, stage 2 liver failure and sepsis, a blood infection as well as pheumonia. The doctors give very little hope.

Thanks for listening

 

[rachelanne]

I feel like i want to wrap us all in a big snuggly blanket,my mum died a few weeks ago in a car accident by a drunk driver,i never got to say goodbye and it feels like a door slammed shut in my face, i ache *** i will never see her in this life again, but you know what i think if she were here now, she would say come on ive shown u this far,we walked together this far,im still with you,but you got to do this next part with me just watching you,so come on lets give our mums something good to see, dry our tears and be proud that our mums were that special, and we were so lucky to have them,im blessed to have journeyed with this happy,friendly woman for forty years and im damn sure im not gonna meet her when i go, without a few good stories of what ive done since,so be brave girls and be your mothers daughters

 

[shellabell]

My mom died 29 years ago; she was 39 and I was 12. She had polycystic kidneys but died of a brain aneurysm. We found out afterward that 10% of people with the disease have aneurysms; she was never checked.

I had a really hard time turning 39; it was something I was dreading for such a long time. It was really sad to realize how young she really was. When I was little I thought almost 40 was pretty old Of course when I got there I realized how little time she actually had. I turned 42 last week and I had that moment of realizing that she never saw this age and I had a wave of sadness.

I always thought it would get easier but in a lot of ways it gets harder. Though I find some kind of strange comfort in the fact that I will never see her health or mind fail.

I do wonder what it would have been like to go through the teenage and young adult years with her in my life and in what ways my brother and I would be different.

My thoughts and prayers to all in this club.

 

[Pumpkingirl7]

I'm new to this thread. I lost my mother in June10, 2009 after a long illness and liver transplant. She survived the transplant and was on a path to recovery but 6 weeks later she had a heart attack. I miss her so much.

My father has mentioned he would like to start dating again. I'm not sure how to react to that. Anyone else have any thoughts? They were married for 30 years and I know it would break my mothers heart to have her replaced so quickly.

 

[rachelanne]

It is hard on you but must be awful lonely for your dad to.He has probably been so used to being part of a couple and just wants to fill an empty place in him,he doesnt want to replace your wonderful mum, just to find a bit of normality.I dont know about you but i keep thinking ive got my head around her going and then the smallest thing sets you right back.
He will be feeling the same, trying anything to numb how he is feeling,try and be your best self and try not to judge him to harshly, you both need each other still,so be each others friend,im sure you are a great comfort to him

 

[FeelsLikeHome]

With Mother's Day coming up, I thought I would visit this thread. Hugs to everyone who has lost their mom! My mom died a couple of years ago around Mother's Day. Some days, it feels like I'm still in denial.

After my mom passed, I felt let down by my 'real life' friends. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I expected them to be there for me afterwards. Thanks for starting this thread. It's comforting to talk to others who understand. I can't say things have gotten better over the last two years.. it's more like I've just gotten used to things being the way they are.

DH and I went to visit the cemetary once. Unexpectedly, I completely lost it and sobbed- loudly! I feel so guilty that I haven't been to visit, but I just can't face it quite yet. Walking around in denial works for now...

 

[kimis]

My mom passed away three and a half years ago and is buried in our home town. This is the first year I will get to visit her grave on Mothers Day and I am a little concerned about it. I miss her so much still! My dad just passed away 3 months ago too. This is a hard holiday for a lot of people so you all are in my prayers!

 

[Pumpkingirl7]

My mother's grave is 2 hrs away. I've only been once this year. Sometimes I wish I could visit by myself but its far out in a wooded area so I usually have my DH with me. I feel bad that I don't go often but then I realize that it isn't they way I like to remember her and she wouldn't want me to be sobbing over a piece of concrete and dirt. My 2 yr old son only went once and every time we pass a cemetary he says "bub bub" and I have to tell him that bub bub isn't there but in heaven with jesus.

 

[rachelanne]

Thinking of all on this board tonight,hope everyone ok and coping, dont know why we have been dealt this hand,but sending everyone a big hug and just hang on in there

 

[Teacher03]

My mom died 3 and a half years ago from pancreatic cancer. Her gravesite is only 20 minutes away, but I don't visit it often. I just don't feel like that has anything to do with my mom; it just doesn't mean anything to me. My sister feels the opposite, so everyone grieves differently. I never stop missing her and think of her everyday. But it does get easier.

 

[MrsHeg]

I don't think it's a coincidence that I found this thread the day before Mother's Day, I lost my Mom to breast cancer October 5th, 2001.
Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, and often find myself shedding a few tears.

Love You Mom!

 

[minniecarousel]

I miss my Mom so much today. Yesterday was Mother's Day and I did real well all day. I couldn't get to sleep and today it's really hit hard. She's been gone for for 40 days. She was 93 years old and had lived with DH & me for the past 9 years. She was always here. She's not here anymore and I miss her terribly.

 

[momofboyz]

I lost my mom on December 15, 2009, the day after DS#2's bday. She was on a list for a liver transplant, but never made it.

It has been a very rough few months, because her and I were very close. Yesterday was very hard for me. The boys and I took a pink flamingo up to her grave,(she loved flamingos).

 

[jennz]

I miss my Mom so much today. Yesterday was Mother's Day and I did real well all day. I couldn't get to sleep and today it's really hit hard. She's been gone for for 40 days. She was 93 years old and had lived with DH & me for the past 9 years. She was always here. She's not here anymore and I miss her terribly.

I lost my mom on December 15, 2009, the day after DS#2's bday. She was on a list for a liver transplant, but never made it.

It has been a very rough few months, because her and I were very close. Yesterday was very hard for me. The boys and I took a pink flamingo up to her grave,(she loved flamingos).

I'm so so sorry for you both, I wish I could give you both big hugs. It is so very very hard and hard to talk to with people who haven't suffered the loss of their mom. It's not a one-week grieving process. It's been just over 12 months for me. It is sadly so true when they talk about the first year being hard. The year was miserable for me. If you want to chat please feel free to pm me. I'll be thinking about you both.

 

[KristiMc]

Missing my mom today and everyday. She has been gone 1 year today.

 

[JandJ]

Missing my mom today and everyday. She has been gone 1 year today.

I am so sorry I wish I could say it gets easier, but, well, while time helps it's still hard on the anniversaries.

Tomorrow my mom will be gone 5 years. Yesterday I was distracted by something at work and there was a question I had and I grabbed for my phone and started to dial mom. That happens a lot less frequently than it used to. It sounds cliche, but try to remember the happy times and celebrate your mom's life. I think that helps. On the anniversaries I do something that we used to do together. Last year I went to Atlanta Bread Co. because mom loved that place. Tomorrow, I'm going to get my hair cut. Mom and I always went together to get "pampered." It won't be an easy day, but I will get through it, and you will too. Take care of yourself.