Daughters who have lost their Mother

[memster]

Hi Everyone, I lost my Mom 2-2-2011 and I will tell ya I just can't get a handle on it. Today was the day I packed her clothes it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. She was my bestfriend, we did everything together. She brought me so much joy and happiness. I can't think about life without that angel in it.

 

[mikamah]

Hi Everyone, I lost my Mom 2-2-2011 and I will tell ya I just can't get a handle on it. Today was the day I packed her clothes it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. She was my bestfriend, we did everything together. She brought me so much joy and happiness. I can't think about life without that angel in it.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is so very hard and I know you will have some tough times ahead, and it's hard to imagnine right now, but time does heal, and as your heart starts to mend a little, all those wonderful memories of the joy and happiness she brought to your life will bring you smiles again.

I lost my mom in june of 09, and like you we had a great relationship, and the first year was so hard, and on her anniversary we had a mass and honored her with a big party and celebration of her life, and our family and her friends came, and she would have loved it. It's hard but we know she would want us to remember her with happiness and not tears.

I'm sending prayers that your memories will bring you comfort, and am sure your mom is watching over you. Give yourself the time you need to grieve. There is no timeframe for grief, and others who have been through what you're going through will understand, so reach out for support where you can.
Hang in there, take it one day at a time, and take care of yourself.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Everyone, I lost my Mom 2-2-2011 and I will tell ya I just can't get a handle on it. Today was the day I packed her clothes it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. She was my bestfriend, we did everything together. She brought me so much joy and happiness. I can't think about life without that angel in it.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I still have days here 2 1/2 years later where I can't handle her being gone. I still haven't packed up my mom's clothes. I say that, I did give away a few things to a lady that really needed them. I know it is time to get rid of the rest of the stuff, but it makes me so sad I just haven't gone back to finish. I know she would want it all to go to charity or someone who needs it, it just, I don't know, brings me comfort.


Suzanne

 

[memster]

Thanks so much for the comforting words Mikamah, it really does help. It's just so new and raw at this point. As you know for yourself every moment is different than the next. I try to think how lucky and greatful I was to have this awesome Human being in my life and I thank God for that.

 

[memster]

Also wanted to thank Princess Suzanne too. I feel like I'm not alone out there. Thanks again

 

[minniecarousel]

Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of my Mom's death. My sisters and I are going to go out to lunch and do some "retail therapy".

I was doing OK today until I was in her room and noticed that the lavender sachet is still on the back of her door handle. She'd jiggle it a little to activate the odor.

We're finishing up the staging of our house to sell it. It's just too empty without her here.

 

[LCARDVERO]

Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of my Mom's death. My sisters and I are going to go out to lunch and do some "retail therapy".

I was doing OK today until I was in her room and noticed that the lavender sachet is still on the back of her door handle. She'd jiggle it a little to activate the odor.

We're finishing up the staging of our house to sell it. It's just too empty without her here.

Stay strong and enjoy the memories.

 

[Rustysmom]

I'm going to Disney in July, for the first time since my Mom died. I hope I don't spend every day there crying about that. Last time I went my Mom was sick with pancreatic cancer and nobody even knew it. She probably didn't want to say how bad her pain was because she didn't want to ruin our trip.

While cleaning out her house to sell it, I found papers that led me to believe I was adopted. She never told me. I was mad at her for a while because of that, but I think she helped me find my birthmom. Had to have helped, because I found her in less than 2 months. Maybe she didn't want me to be all alone. I feel guilty for being mad at her, but it was such a shock to find out that way, you know? So now I have this birthmom and half-sister and half-brother and they want to be part of our lives, and it's nice, but it's also weird.

All I know is that it was just 3 years since she passed away, and I miss her so much!

 

[moepanz]

I'm going to Disney in July, for the first time since my Mom died. I hope I don't spend every day there crying about that. Last time I went my Mom was sick with pancreatic cancer and nobody even knew it. She probably didn't want to say how bad her pain was because she didn't want to ruin our trip.

While cleaning out her house to sell it, I found papers that led me to believe I was adopted. She never told me. I was mad at her for a while because of that, but I think she helped me find my birthmom. Had to have helped, because I found her in less than 2 months. Maybe she didn't want me to be all alone. I feel guilty for being mad at her, but it was such a shock to find out that way, you know? So now I have this birthmom and half-sister and half-brother and they want to be part of our lives, and it's nice, but it's also weird.

All I know is that it was just 3 years since she passed away, and I miss her so much!

That is a lot to deal with. Try to take comfort and know that she did the best she could (like all of us moms do) and did what she felt was right at the time by not telling you. I had some unresolved issues with my mom that turned out to be bigger than I thought, found out some things that I was very angry about but I thankfully and quickly realized that holding on to any of it was only hurting me and everyone else around me.

I can tell you my first trip to Disney after my mom passed was very emotional and I knew it was going to be (my mom took her bad and final turn for the worse while we were all in Disney knowing the chemo had not worked) I went with a friend for a weekend 1st time back. I did not want the kids with me thinking I would be a mess. I had my moments but, got through it. Warning Wishes was pretty hard I was a mess.

I wish I had some advice about the birthmom and 1/2 siblings but all I can say is I know a few people that have had amazing birth families (my cousin) and a friend of mind that was not lucky enough to have such a nice experience. I hope you find the comfort and support you need.

I grew up in Brooklyn, I am on Long Island for 7 years now. Where in Brooklyn are you?

 

[Rustysmom]

I live in Marine Park.

I think a good thing is that we want to go to Universal first. Hopefully that won't bring back bad memories because we never went there. Do they still have Wishes at Magic Kingdom? If they do, I know what you mean, I don't know if I can watch that because last time I watched it I was thinking about my mom and hoping she was going to feel better. I know I'll be a mess if I see it.

I am lucky that my birth family is sooo nice and welcomed me right in, no questions asked. I'm still in shock about the whole thing to tell you the truth. I think this year might be the first year in a long time that is going to be a good one.

 

[moepanz]

I live in Marine Park.

I think a good thing is that we want to go to Universal first. Hopefully that won't bring back bad memories because we never went there. Do they still have Wishes at Magic Kingdom? If they do, I know what you mean, I don't know if I can watch that because last time I watched it I was thinking about my mom and hoping she was going to feel better. I know I'll be a mess if I see it.

I am lucky that my birth family is sooo nice and welcomed me right in, no questions asked. I'm still in shock about the whole thing to tell you the truth. I think this year might be the first year in a long time that is going to be a good one.

I am going to send you a PM. I am from Marine Park too! LOL!!!

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I live in Marine Park.

I think a good thing is that we want to go to Universal first. Hopefully that won't bring back bad memories because we never went there. Do they still have Wishes at Magic Kingdom? If they do, I know what you mean, I don't know if I can watch that because last time I watched it I was thinking about my mom and hoping she was going to feel better. I know I'll be a mess if I see it.

I am lucky that my birth family is sooo nice and welcomed me right in, no questions asked. I'm still in shock about the whole thing to tell you the truth. I think this year might be the first year in a long time that is going to be a good one.

If you can, go to wishes with your family and while watching if you get emotional say to yourself, "Mom is with us watch wishes too". I hope that will bring some comfort to you. Mom will be with you every step of the way on your vacation.

The first time I went to New York City and went up in the empire state building it was so calming. I was so high up in the air and the deck was not too crowded so I spent a little time thinking of my Mom it felt so good.

 

[Andrea]

I lost my grandmother who lived with me in january of 1998 ( i was 18 years old), then I lost my mother in Feb. of 1999 (i was 19 years old) and then in january 2000 ( i was still 19) I lost my dad.

I am 31 one now and still having a hard time. I feel like the longer it has been the harder it is getting for me.

I know i will make it though !!!

 

[minniebeth]

I lost my mom in November and this is the first Easter without her~
I'm hurting so much today, missing her so much. Easter was always a special holiday filled with much tradition for my family growing up. I'm trying to make the day nice for my family, but inside just so, so sad. Just needed to share with others who may understand.

Happy Spring to everyone, still waiting to have it feel warm and sunny like spring around here, but at least it's the season of promise~

 

[ACDSNY]

Minniebeth - I know what you mean, the holidays are just not the same anymore. We try making them fun for the kids, but it's hard on the adults. I hope Spring arrives for you soon.

Andrea - don't be too hard on yourself, loosing three family members so close together is tough to handle. It will get better!

May the new life and beauty of spring bring joy to all!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Minniebeth - I know what you mean, the holidays are just not the same anymore. We try making them fun for the kids, but it's hard on the adults. I hope Spring arrives for you soon.

Andrea - don't be too hard on yourself, loosing three family members so close together is tough to handle. It will get better!

May the new life and beauty of spring bring joy to all!

I have to agree, the holidays will never be the same again (I lost my mom in 2008), and we don't have children to start new traditions with.

Yesteday was just so weird. My mom loved Easter, she always filled an Easter basket for me every year, no matter how old I got, because she said I would always be her baby no matter how old I got, and it is strange to celebrate without her.

All holidays don't seem right now that she is gone, and I guess they will from now on.

Suzanne

 

[rndmr2]

to everyone on this thread. I found it just a little while ago and have read the whole thing.
I lost my mom on July 14, 2002 (the day before I turned 29 and about a year and a half after my sister passed away). I had moved from Phila to Va that January to be closer to my then BF (now DH) and had been home to visit a couple times but this was the first time she was coming to visit me and seeing where I lived (my dad had been there, he helped me move) and she passed away while there. They got there on Friday night and when we woke up Sunday morning she was gone. She had COPD (emphysema) and was on 24 hour Oxygen and was fairly stable (or so we thought) but wasn't doing well Saturday, we tried to get her to go to the hospital but she wouldn't go so they decided to leave the next morning and she promised they would go right to the hospital when they got there but obviously that didn't happen. I had a lot of guilt afterwards because it happened when she was visiting me, like maybe the trip was too much for her, if she had been home she would have gone to the hospital, etc. For the most part I've gotten past it but it is still hard sometimes.

 

[WendyWuWu]

I just found this thread and want to say prayers for all of you. I definately know how all of you feel.
You see, in March, 2010, my mom started having chest pain on her way to work. She went to the ER instead of heading on to work. I've been a nurse for over 20 years...a nurse anesthetist for the past few years....and really thought she might have a blood clot in her lung. Of course they treated her for heart pain, but I was sure that wasn't it. I was right in that it wasn't her heart...but wrong in that it was not a blood clot. Instead, she had a mass in her lung. CT showed she other tumors in her brain and several in her liver. I knew instantly what this meant. She was stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. She would not survive.
Mom put up a good fight...never complained...and very rarely felt much pain thankfully...but on August 31, 2010, she succumbed to her cancer. I never thought I'd ever feel so much grief....until recently.
Two weeks before Mom died, Dad had some routine lab done. It showed up he had myelodysplastic syndrome, aka pre-leukemia. The day after we buried Mom, Dad had to have a bone marrow biopsy. By Christmas, he was doing well. The chemo was working...he didn't feel sick...prayers were being answered.
By late March, his labs were not so good anymore. He was feeling more and more tired and his legs ached. He'd have good days and bad days, but more good than bad and he was doing "ok".
Less than two weeks ago, however, on May 10,2011, he had just left home to go to his chemo appointment when someone fell asleep coming around a curve and hit my dad head-on. They worked for about 2 hours, but he did not survive. Now I've lost both of my parents in the span of 8 months.
My mom and dad lived just around the corner from me. We own 100 acres in Kentucky and I live on one corner of the property, mom and dad lived on another, my brother on another, etc. I cooked supper for my parents, then just my dad almost every night just to make sure they were being taken care of. My mom was my best friend and my dad was my rock...my strength...
The grief of losing Mom was horrible. But when she died, I think we were all ready because we didn't like seeing her suffer. With Dad, we werent prepared. We thought we had more time. I try to thnk maybe this was God's way of saving him from a long path of suffering in the future, but then I think of how witnesses said he was looking around, moving his arm immediately after the wreck, and I can't help but worry that he was "with it" and wondering why noone was there helping him. Did he know he was dying? It breaks my heart and is almost unbearable to imagine this might be the case as it seems he'd already suffered so much. (side note: We're told from eye witnesses that 911 dispatch sent the ambulances to the wrong site and it took over 35 mins for the ambulance to get to dad) This situation seems to make his loss so much harder.
Thanks for listening.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I just found this thread and want to say prayers for all of you. I definately know how all of you feel.
You see, in March, 2010, my mom started having chest pain on her way to work. She went to the ER instead of heading on to work. I've been a nurse for over 20 years...a nurse anesthetist for the past few years....and really thought she might have a blood clot in her lung. Of course they treated her for heart pain, but I was sure that wasn't it. I was right in that it wasn't her heart...but wrong in that it was not a blood clot. Instead, she had a mass in her lung. CT showed she other tumors in her brain and several in her liver. I knew instantly what this meant. She was stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. She would not survive.
Mom put up a good fight...never complained...and very rarely felt much pain thankfully...but on August 31, 2010, she succumbed to her cancer. I never thought I'd ever feel so much grief....until recently.
Two weeks before Mom died, Dad had some routine lab done. It showed up he had myelodysplastic syndrome, aka pre-leukemia. The day after we buried Mom, Dad had to have a bone marrow biopsy. By Christmas, he was doing well. The chemo was working...he didn't feel sick...prayers were being answered.
By late March, his labs were not so good anymore. He was feeling more and more tired and his legs ached. He'd have good days and bad days, but more good than bad and he was doing "ok".
Less than two weeks ago, however, on May 10,2011, he had just left home to go to his chemo appointment when someone fell asleep coming around a curve and hit my dad head-on. They worked for about 2 hours, but he did not survive. Now I've lost both of my parents in the span of 8 months.
My mom and dad lived just around the corner from me. We own 100 acres in Kentucky and I live on one corner of the property, mom and dad lived on another, my brother on another, etc. I cooked supper for my parents, then just my dad almost every night just to make sure they were being taken care of. My mom was my best friend and my dad was my rock...my strength...
The grief of losing Mom was horrible. But when she died, I think we were all ready because we didn't like seeing her suffer. With Dad, we werent prepared. We thought we had more time. I try to thnk maybe this was God's way of saving him from a long path of suffering in the future, but then I think of how witnesses said he was looking around, moving his arm immediately after the wreck, and I can't help but worry that he was "with it" and wondering why noone was there helping him. Did he know he was dying? It breaks my heart and is almost unbearable to imagine this might be the case as it seems he'd already suffered so much. (side note: We're told from eye witnesses that 911 dispatch sent the ambulances to the wrong site and it took over 35 mins for the ambulance to get to dad) This situation seems to make his loss so much harder.
Thanks for listening.

I am so sorry, to you an your family, this has got to be very difficult. I only had 1 parent in my life to begin with, so I know what it is like to have no parents. It will get better, as I still tell myself, but it will never completely go away.

We are here to offer support and/or just a listening ear

Suzanne

 

[latmck]

I see that I am not alone in this. I lost my mom on April 15 (two months ago) from a tornado that hit Missisppi. She was the only one that died in the storm that rip thru our small community. My dad died 15 yrs ago. So it had been mom & me for a while until I got married and had kids. I am the only child. Oh my, it has been to hard because mom was one of my best friends. We talked several times a day. Her birthday is July 9 which will be very hard for me since I was planning a surprise party for her. We went on our first disney trip in May, & I wanted to bad to call her & tell her all the characters and fun time we are having, but realized that she would never pick up the phone. She always told me (when I was planning the trip) to take plenty of pics of the kids and their excitement. I look at my phone everyday and wonder why mom hasn't call me today. I told my dh that I don't know how I am going to get thru the holidays without mom. I miss her so much. The hardest part is that I didn't tell her goodbye and I love her before we hung up an hr before the tornado hit. Please pray for me and I will do the same for you guys.