Daughters who have lost their Mother

[PrincessSuzanne]

I had one of those missing mom days yesterday. It was my second birthday since she passed away and it was very difficult. But I thought about what she always said about me being her daughter and only child and it made me happy.

Everyday I wear the Mickey watch she bought me for the last birthday we celebrated together and it makes me feel close to her.

Suzanne

 

[JoiseyMom]

I lost my mom 12 years ago on the 11th...it is still hard at times. My dd13 is graduating middle school on Friday and my oldest DS26 is getting married in Sept... and these are milestones that I so wish I could share with her.

 

[Pumpkingirl7]

anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???

 

[kimis]

anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???

I did. I had dad for three years after mom passed. Well i should say I had to put him in assisted living and then nursing home for his last two years. He wasn't a nice man so he had a lot of regrets the last few months of his life. He was totally oppisite of my mom. I was with him when he passed and miss him also. I will admit though I don't miss him like I do my mom. In one week she will have been gone four years and my heart still breaks. Hang in there and take it one day at a time.

 

[kathleena]

anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???

Yup dealing with dating, with her moving in with him and living with him for 11 years, with her controlling him and verbally abusing him, with her shutting my sister and I and all of his friends out because she was so jealous of him doing anything with anyone other than her friends, with him paying for her life- buying her cars etc - while she frittered her funds away on her grown grandkids - sending them money when they should be working, and now dealing with him grieving because she has had a stroke and is in a nursing home.

It's been a long and bumpy 12 years................but you know, it was always his choice and just like he stayed out of my decisions I stayed out of his and just made sure he was physically safe and not being stripped bare by her.

Cup of bitter for one please..............

 

[Pumpkingirl7]

OH my! That is everything Im afraid of. Plus the feeling like she is going to take everything of my mother out of his home. That she will take him away from spending time with his grandchildren. UGH--

I'm thinking of seeing a shrink before I explode!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Well, my father was never in my life (his choice) so I didn't have to deal with that. I do sometimes have a hard time dealing with the orphaned feeling and I am 37, but mom and I were so close. I don't really have anyone to turn to to deal with it and DH doens't understand because he has 4 parents to turn to.

Suzanne

 

[Pumpkingirl7]

I too am dealing with that orphaned feeling as I have no grandmother, aunts, or sisters in my life.

 

[minniebeth]

I feel so much for everyone who has lost their moms~ no matter how old we get, we need our moms!

My mom is still living, but she is in advanced stages of Parkinson's Disease. She is in Hospice care, but I am still grieving in the process of losing her little by little. Three years ago, she went into assisted living, two years ago, nursing care. I live in Ohio, she is in NJ, so it is hard to see her. While her house was for sale, we would still go to stay there, it was still "home". Last year it was sold, and so it was so sad to have nowhere to go "home" to. We were still able to talk on the phone a bit and I could tell her I love her and hear her say it to me. Now she is in a deep sleep all the time, does not eat and cannot talk at all. It won't be much longer for her, but in the mean time, I feel like none of my friends can relate to my sense of loss. I understand that they don't really understand, so I try to be aware of that. (Their moms are much younger than mine, and still an active part of their lives.)
One of the conversations a friend had with me was about an argument she got into with her mom about who was going to host Thanksgiving dinner.
It was tears and everything from her, and I just sat there thinking how sad that she could even have this conversation with me knowing what I'm going through.

It's crazy how I feel like I'm a little girl who just wants to be held by my mom!

Thanks...

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I feel so much for everyone who has lost their moms~ no matter how old we get, we need our moms!

My mom is still living, but she is in advanced stages of Parkinson's Disease. She is in Hospice care, but I am still grieving in the process of losing her little by little. Three years ago, she went into assisted living, two years ago, nursing care. I live in Ohio, she is in NJ, so it is hard to see her. While her house was for sale, we would still go to stay there, it was still "home". Last year it was sold, and so it was so sad to have nowhere to go "home" to. We were still able to talk on the phone a bit and I could tell her I love her and hear her say it to me. Now she is in a deep sleep all the time, does not eat and cannot talk at all. It won't be much longer for her, but in the mean time, I feel like none of my friends can relate to my sense of loss. I understand that they don't really understand, so I try to be aware of that. (Their moms are much younger than mine, and still an active part of their lives.)
One of the conversations a friend had with me was about an argument she got into with her mom about who was going to host Thanksgiving dinner.
It was tears and everything from her, and I just sat there thinking how sad that she could even have this conversation with me knowing what I'm going through.

It's crazy how I feel like I'm a little girl who just wants to be held by my mom!

Thanks...

to you minniebeth, I experienced something similar when my grandmother was dying from her Alzheimers, but unlike with mom, I was more happy to see her slip away, because it meant no more pain and struggling for her, because you could see the pain in her face. I mourned her for awhile, but knew she was much better off.

I still have a hard time since my mom passed so suddenly, not even allowing me time to say good bye. It is not as bad as it had been, but I am starting to tear up as I type this. There are so many times I still look for her to get up and come into the room, especially when I am home alone.

Other people just don't get it do they, unless they have been there.

It's not crazy to feel that way. When Dh has to work and I have a day off, I wish she was still here to spend the day with, because I hate being alone.

Suzanne

 

[kimis]

My mom passed away four years ago today and my heart feels like it was yesterday. The pain is still there and probably always will be. She was truelly my best friend and loved by so many. My dad passed away 10 months ago from a broken heart I think. Looking forward to a grand reunion someday though.

 

[minniebeth]

to you minniebeth, I experienced something similar when my grandmother was dying from her Alzheimers, but unlike with mom, I was more happy to see her slip away, because it meant no more pain and struggling for her, because you could see the pain in her face. I mourned her for awhile, but knew she was much better off.

I still have a hard time since my mom passed so suddenly, not even allowing me time to say good bye. It is not as bad as it had been, but I am starting to tear up as I type this. There are so many times I still look for her to get up and come into the room, especially when I am home alone.

Other people just don't get it do they, unless they have been there.

It's not crazy to feel that way. When Dh has to work and I have a day off, I wish she was still here to spend the day with, because I hate being alone.

Suzanne

Thank you for your kind words, Suzanne~
As hard as it is for me, I do get to say goodbye. I can't imagine losing a loved one so dear as a mom suddenly without being able to say goodbye.

My mom passed away four years ago today and my heart feels like it was yesterday. The pain is still there and probably always will be. She was truelly my best friend and loved by so many. My dad passed away 10 months ago from a broken heart I think. Looking forward to a grand reunion someday though.

My thoughts are with you!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Thank you for your kind words, Suzanne~
As hard as it is for me, I do get to say goodbye. I can't imagine losing a loved one so dear as a mom suddenly without being able to say goodbye.




My thoughts are with you!

Thank you, it has been a very difficult road, as I know yours will be, unfortunately, but you do have us here for support.

 

[LCARDVERO]

I'm 49 and still have my 87 year mom which I am grateful for!!

However, I am posting for my 14 year old niece.

She lost her mom when she was 10 years old. My sister-in-law was divorced and her father took her for 2 years then decided it was took much work and decided "he didn't want her anymore". She is very aggressive. It's tough because she is angry, however she's very difficult to handle and no-one really wants the job of raising her. It's much more complicated. It's so hard as I try to protect my own daughter as she would beat her up. She's doing better now that she's older. Tough times!!!!

 

[Mad Tea Party]

Hello everyone, I lost my mum to throat cancer when I was 5 years old, I remember it all like it was yesterday. It was totally out of the blue. I miss her all the time but at least she isn't suffering anymore. Although my dad has been amazing (he brought up 3 children on his own), I wish she was still here to see us all grow up xxx

 

[moepanz]

Hello everyone, I lost my mum to throat cancer when I was 5 years old, I remember it all like it was yesterday. It was totally out of the blue. I miss her all the time but at least she isn't suffering anymore. Although my dad has been amazing (he brought up 3 children on his own), I wish she was still here to see us all grow up xxx

Welcome to the thread. I can't imagine what it must have been like growing up without a mom. I was 39 when my mom passed away and I was devastated. I hope you find some comfort here.

 

[Mad Tea Party]

Thank you very much, it wasn't easy at all. We are lucky to have such a big and supportive family

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I have really been missing my mom this month. I was sick for most of the first 3 weeks of Jan and you know a girl needs her mama when she is sick, mine would wait on me hand and foot when I was sick, so I missed that while sitting home alone. DH just couldn't fill the bill on that one and when he is tired coming in from work, he didn't want to wait on me and most days I couldn't get out of the chair to do more than go to the restroom and refill my drink.

Her birthday is coming up next week and I just hope I can make it thru without too much drama.

Suzanne

 

[Pumpkingirl7]

I have really been missing my mom this month. I was sick for most of the first 3 weeks of Jan and you know a girl needs her mama when she is sick, mine would wait on me hand and foot when I was sick, so I missed that while sitting home alone. DH just couldn't fill the bill on that one and when he is tired coming in from work, he didn't want to wait on me and most days I couldn't get out of the chair to do more than go to the restroom and refill my drink.

Her birthday is coming up next week and I just hope I can make it thru without too much drama.

Suzanne

I know your pain. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and it is hard to enjoy it without my mom here to support me or be excited about the baby.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I know your pain. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and it is hard to enjoy it without my mom here to support me or be excited about the baby.

Congratulations. I gave up trying to have a baby after my mom passed away, because it just seemed like the right thing to do, for us. It just seemed at that point I kept trying for her.

Suzanne