Not sure why I clicked on this forum today. Shelly, I hope you are feeling better than these last posts. I am an only child. My dad died in 2007. Then I lost my mom in December of 2012. I have struggled on and off with grief and maybe post traumatic stress. She was hit by a car while out for her morning walk. We were as close as a mom and daughter could be...talked every day. I spent 25 days with her in the hospital after her accident and before she died. Her injuries and recovery were just too much...she was 75. I miss her every moment of every day and although that will never change, I do feel better this year after having three really rough years. Holidays and anniversaries are still really hard but I have become better at protecting myself by realizing what sets me off and what makes me feel better. Being able to talk about my mom helps. Being able to remember her with traditions does too. Trying to do things the way I did when she was here and spending time with people who I was only connected to via her can send me back into deep grief. So I have learned to say no to things. My mom used to come to Disney with me every other year to see my students perform. She loved it. After she died, the next spring break, we went as a family and the peace of the Wilderness Lodge and some great family time with my husband and kids was the first time since her death I felt happiness. I think I will always struggle and feel cheated that I did not get to see my folks grow old...that my kids have no grandparents on my side. But I am not in the despair I once was. Right now I am reading"Option B" by Sheryl Sandberg. It is a book mostly about finding resilience and joy following grief. It has been four and a half years for me...and still I benefit from this reading. I recommend it to any motherless daughter.