Daughters who have lost their Mother

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by Shelly F - Ohio, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. danceteachermom

    danceteachermom Mouseketeer

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    318
    Not sure why I clicked on this forum today. Shelly, I hope you are feeling better than these last posts. I am an only child. My dad died in 2007. Then I lost my mom in December of 2012. I have struggled on and off with grief and maybe post traumatic stress. She was hit by a car while out for her morning walk. We were as close as a mom and daughter could be...talked every day. I spent 25 days with her in the hospital after her accident and before she died. Her injuries and recovery were just too much...she was 75. I miss her every moment of every day and although that will never change, I do feel better this year after having three really rough years. Holidays and anniversaries are still really hard but I have become better at protecting myself by realizing what sets me off and what makes me feel better. Being able to talk about my mom helps. Being able to remember her with traditions does too. Trying to do things the way I did when she was here and spending time with people who I was only connected to via her can send me back into deep grief. So I have learned to say no to things. My mom used to come to Disney with me every other year to see my students perform. She loved it. After she died, the next spring break, we went as a family and the peace of the Wilderness Lodge and some great family time with my husband and kids was the first time since her death I felt happiness. I think I will always struggle and feel cheated that I did not get to see my folks grow old...that my kids have no grandparents on my side. But I am not in the despair I once was.

    Right now I am reading"Option B" by Sheryl Sandberg. It is a book mostly about finding resilience and joy following grief. It has been four and a half years for me...and still I benefit from this reading. I recommend it to any motherless daughter.
     
    teruterubouzu likes this.
  2. teruterubouzu

    teruterubouzu DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2007
    Messages:
    692
    This just came up in my notifications. It has been a long time since I have posted. @danceteachermom I am glad you were able to feel happiness with your family at Disney once again. Thank you for mentioning that book. I wasn't sure if I would relate to it, but I am going to check it out based on your recommendation.

    Peace to everyone missing their mom today.
     
  3. Shelly F - Ohio

    Shelly F - Ohio Disney Extraordinaire

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2004
    Messages:
    8,968
    Pain is horrible. We lost our cat Java last week who we had for 9 yrs. and my heart is broken. He was a very special Siamese. He loved to cuddle up on the couch with me. Now I can't bear to lay on couch. He loved to talk. He would meow and I would meow back and he would answer. We carried on long conversations. My heart hurts deeply right now. I can't bear to be home and can't bear to not be home. We have 4 other cats that I can love upon to help get through this but he was the one who got me through some tuff times.
     

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