Curious for opinions

[cinmell]

I'd drop it but I'd still take my kids to NYC and have some fun!

 

[robinb]

I must take exception to the "country bumpkin" comment. Not sure exactly what was meant by that, but this is a very nice family. I don't find them to be particularly backwards just because they haven't had the opportunity to travel as much as I have or because they wouldn't be able to make their way around NYC.

It is, however, HIS FAULT that the tickets were purchased to start with. JMHO

I'm sure they are nice people. I'm not saying that people who are "backwards" if they don't travel, but you have to admit that their lack of travel skills is a disadvantage in this situation. People who had traveled before would be able to pick up the lemons and make lemonade. For these people it seems that everything from the plane ride to the destination is a scary prospect.

 

[mjkacmom]

INobody in this family has ever even been on a plane before, so they aren't likely to use them for anything in the future. They wouldn't even begin to know how to get around NYC or what to do (he had assured them that he would explain everything they need to know to them ).

ETA: The filing costs for Justice Court are only $50.

I think this is where country bumpkin comes in. I'm sure a guide book will be just as good, if not better, than having him explain how to get around NYC. OP, you indicate that the mom and younger dd were going to tour NYC alone. I just don't understand why the 3 of them can't do it together?

 

[sue1013]

It makes no sense that the Mom and other DD could go to the city themselves while other dd was attending her function why can't they go now?

 

[Acklander]

The daughter wants it dropped, and the mom should respect that. "tattling" on him is just going to make her look like a nut case.
Another one who's curious how old the daughter is, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the thought that the whole family was going to NYC so her daughter could go to a dance. The mom seems WAY too involved.
Seriously, when I read stories like this it reaffirms my beliefs that you should give your kids some independence in high school while they're still under your wing so by the time they reach 18 they can handle situations like traveling to NY to go to a dance.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Nobody in this family has ever even been on a plane before, so they aren't likely to use them for anything in the future. They wouldn't even begin to know how to get around NYC or what to do (he had assured them that he would explain everything they need to know to them ).

If they can read, they will be able to travel around NYC.

I dont think you are going to like my opinion, but well, you asked. I think the mother went WAY overboard if this daughter is college aged. How old is she, high school or older? The reason this kid doesnt want to go to the dance with her daughter is because of her. It was crazy to turn a dance invitation into a family vacation, it makes it weird and awkard for him. If I were him, I would RUN away from this family. What kid would not be horrified that his date has to bring along her family? The ONLY way this would be understood is if the girl is really young and still in high school. Then I would understrand why her mom would invite herself along.

I in NO WAY think he is liable for the 1000 bucks. He asked a girl to a dance, and offered to pay for the room. The mother decided to invite herself and other child along.

Calling West Point would be ridiculous. I am certain they will understand why he changed his mind after the date decided to take along her whole family. The school will just think the mom is a crazy person.

Now comes the take lemons and make lemonade part, go to NYC and see a show or have a good time. You wanted a family vacation, now you got one.

OP, how old is the young lady?

She needs to tell her mother to back off now before she runs off another young man.

 

[3jsmommy]

I really don't understand why they can only visit NYC if one of them is going to a dance!??
Tourists from all over the world do it everyday, a lot of them can't even speak english. Tell Mom to buy a guide book and leave the ex-boyfriend alone.
First the mother gets herself all invoved in his invitation and when he changes his mind she's going to sue him and sabotage his career?
No wonder he backed out...sounds like wackadoo Mom planned on having a personal tour guide!

 

[horseshowmom]

Honestly, it sounds like the mom's mind is made up, and she plans to contact WP if the boy doesn't cough up the $1k. I think it's sad and unfortunate.

I don't know whether her mind is made up or not. I haven't talked to her today.

How old is this girl?

College sophomore

I'm sure they are nice people. I'm not saying that people who are "backwards" if they don't travel, but you have to admit that their lack of travel skills is a disadvantage in this situation. People who had traveled before would be able to pick up the lemons and make lemonade. For these people it seems that everything from the plane ride to the destination is a scary prospect.

It's not a trip they would have made otherwise. While they were going to do it under the previous circumstances, it's not something that they would just do on a whim. It would be a pretty expensive weekend.

 

[Acklander]

Looked up West Point Cadets code of Conduct. He's falling short on several of them. Sections 1 and 2.



http://www.usma.edu/committees/honor/info/main.htm

So what if he's falling short on Section 1 and 2 (and no, I didn't look them up, I'll just take you're word for it). That's his commander's problem, not the mom's. If he's truly a dishonest, horrible person It will show in many other ways and they can all say "I'm not surprised" when he gets booted out. If it's just a case of a guy standing up his date - yeah it's a crappy thing to do, but not worth ruining a guy's career over it.

 

[robinb]

It's not a trip they would have made otherwise. While they were going to do it under the previous circumstances, it's not something that they would just do on a whim. It would be a pretty expensive weekend.

Yeah, I get that and it stinks. I do sincerely feel sorry for them.

 

[dakcp2001]

As a soph in college if you need your mom to chaperone a trip to NYC to go to a dance, you've got bigger problems then getting uninvited to a dance.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I don't know whether her mind is made up or not. I haven't talked to her today.




College sophomore




It's not a trip they would have made otherwise. While they were going to do it under the previous circumstances, it's not something that they would just do on a whim. It would be a pretty expensive weekend.

So my question is what the heck was mom and daughter and whomever else going to do in NYC if the other daughter was at the dance? NYC is like 2 or more hours from West Point. I'm sure the mom had plans. They would have had to leave the hotel to go eat.

Maybe part of the problem is this wasn't a well thought out idea all the way around. The young man in question may have been overwhelmed at the mom and others flying in and staying at least 2 hours away but then the daughter going to the dance at the school which would require transportation. I could see why the whole thing could crash and burn. It sounds like it was a good call to cancel if the mom isn't that capable of being able of traveling.

 

[Acklander]

As a soph in college if you need your mom to chaperone a trip to NYC to go to a dance, you've got bigger problems then getting uninvited to a dance.

Seriously. I guess her mom is the over protective type, but honestly, she didn't do her any favors.

 

[crashbb]

Honestly, it sounds like the mom's mind is made up, and she plans to contact WP if the boy doesn't cough up the $1k. I think it's sad and unfortunate.

It's also blackmail.

 

[mjkacmom]

It's not a trip they would have made otherwise. While they were going to do it under the previous circumstances, it's not something that they would just do on a whim. It would be a pretty expensive weekend.

It's going to cost about the same as when the dd was going to the dance. To not go just doesn't make any sense, since the most expensive part of trip is already paid for. I think this is a great opportunity forced on them.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

If she is a college sophomore, she is old enough to make decisions for herself and that includes going to NY alone. Granted i wouldn't want my DD's to go to NY alone at any age, even though we do travel. It is a big unknown city. I would go just to travel with my daughter so she would not be alone, not as a chaperone as she would be of legal age. I would make my own plans as she would be doing her own thing. In this case, I should be responsible for paying my own way. The boy should only owe the daughter the plane ticket and any expenses for a gown, accessories, etc.
They should go and make a weekend of it.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I'm a little curious about the NYC thing. Why? West Point isn't in NYC. It's almost 2 hrs upstate. The surrounding area is actually a little bit small town-like. If she was worried about her DD flying into NYC, she could have flown into Albany or Newburgh and taken transport from there.

I think the mom went way overboard in planning a family trip around the event. I voted that she should drop it. If she's really worried about her money, then take the trip anyway.

 

[mjkacmom]

OP, I re-read your first post. I think you are feeling guilty, because you told her to go with her (adult) dd to NYC. I think the majority here seem to feel it's crazy for a mother to fly to NYC with her (adult) dd to chaperone, and this might've been the cause of the about-face of the young man.

 

[horseshowmom]

So my question is what the heck was mom and daughter and whomever else going to do in NYC if the other daughter was at the dance? NYC is like 2 or more hours from West Point. I'm sure the mom had plans. They would have had to leave the hotel to go eat.

The young man indicated that they would be staying in NYC because all of the activities except the dance were going to be in the city.

I think his plans involved a lot more than what he presented on the face of it (knowing full well that this particular girl wasn't going to go along if he was honest). As I said, this was all discussed while he was hanging out at the house all the time. He knew that she wasn't going by herself - no secrets there.

It's going to cost about the same as when the dd was going to the dance. To not go just doesn't make any sense, since the most expensive part of trip is already paid for. I think this is a great opportunity forced on them.

It's possible that they might go ahead. The hotel was a really nice one, and they got a great rate. I think right now they are disgusted.

 

[sharbear]

I have a college sophomore also. She is 20 years old now. I know you cannot make any judgements on the behavior of the parents and their involvement in this activity.

But my DD who had previously not traveled by herself on an airplane, is very capable making her own reservations, getting to the airport, making a connection and getting back and forth to college just fine. Before she went to college, she had only been on a plane twice in her life. She manages just fine. She has flown in and out of NYC and manages.

I really think that the mother should MHOB. Seriously, who knows what happened between the boy being home and now. He did not handle things well. But my DD has had her share of boys treating her in a immature way. These are nice boys from good families, who are very smart and capable. Boys can be a pain. It happens. It does not mean that just because they treated a girl wrong that their academic and career choice should be affected.

Now I know I must be a crazy mom but if my DD was invited to such an event and I would have encouraged her to go, it sounds like it would have been a great opportunity. I would have paid for her ticket to fly there if she didn't have the money. Her arrangements for where she was staying would have been up to her and I would not have meddled. There are many places she could have stayed that would not have been in his room. One would be to stay with a female cadet friend of his, another would be to share a room with another girl who is coming in for the formal. So what if they didn't know each other. It's a weekend. I just noticed that the dance and activities are in NYC. I am sure that there are plenty of kids who are sharing rooms. I really don't think about those things with my college aged D, she's a big girl and can handle herself. Many of the fraternities have out of town formals and they rent rooms. I don't know what goes on and I don't want to know.

I don't know what happened between the couple, the mother may not know herself. I promise you that my DD does not tell me everything that goes on with her and boys. But if I was that boy, I would be running for the hills.

Chalk this up to experience, don't do it again. It's unfortunate that she spent so much on plane tickets but really to call his CO is crazy. This whole thing sounds so crazy.