C's get degrees but

[sonnyjane]

My oldest might say the same thing. Because he refused to listen to our reasoning when we questioned the B's he got. We knew he never did homework in high school. Never brought a book home. If we knew he was studying and got B's, or even C's it would be fine. But since he didn't study, we did ask him about his B's and pointed out that a little study time outside school might get him an A.

It irritated me that his High School counselor basically agreed with him saying that we should be happy with B's and not question him. She had no idea how much homework and studying he did or didn't do.

It's about performing to one's full potential. If your parents saw you studying and working hard, then they should have left you alone.

My high school (private) had two sets of grades. You had your actual grade, then you got an "effort grade". If you had an A in the class but never raised your hand, never asked question, etc, you could get a D or F effort grade. Conversely if you had a D in the class but stayed after to get help, participated in discussions, etc. you could get an A effort grade. Ideally you'd have an A for your performance AND your effort grades but if that didn't happen it was at least a way to justify to your parents that you were in fact trying.

 

[declansdad]

Employers who are hiring new college graduates typically do. For experienced hires, typically they will not.

That is not true for all companies and all industries.

 

[declansdad]

My oldest might say the same thing. Because he refused to listen to our reasoning when we questioned the B's he got. We knew he never did homework in high school. Never brought a book home. If we knew he was studying and got B's, or even C's it would be fine. But since he didn't study, we did ask him about his B's and pointed out that a little study time outside school might get him an A.

It irritated me that his High School counselor basically agreed with him saying that we should be happy with B's and not question him. She had no idea how much homework and studying he did or didn't do.

It's about performing to one's full potential. If your parents saw you studying and working hard, then they should have left you alone.

It is one thing to ask your child to work to their full potential, it is another to tell them they are mediocre and lazy, as the poster that posted this comment, did.

 

[NYEmomma]

It is sad that you would consider a B mediocre.

That was my parents' attitude with me in high school. I think I got one B+ and had to explain myself. The pressure was unbearable. I was relieved to go away to college where I didn't have to deal with my parents and their constant pressure about grades.

Wow, a B on a report card (with the rest A's) = "mediocrity"? I'm sorry, I feel for your children if that's the kind of pressure you put on them.

Well crap, I poorly word a response and the masses go wild. Lol.

I'm not insane, nor am I tyrant... B's are fine. Depending on the reason, I suppose. But what I was calling mediocre and the product of laziness were consistent C's & D's on report cards. Not A's & B's.

I had the kind of parents that always expected A's and questioned me why I didn't get them when I didn't (which was often enough)... but they always made it crystal clear that they were proud of me, so I didn't feel any kind of ridiculous pressure from them like PP's have said.

Most people aren't great at EVERYTHING so it makes sense to struggle in particular subjects (math & science, in my case)... though if my daughter is getting a B simply because she's too lazy & irresponsible to do and turn in homework, then we've got a problem to discuss.

(Though I have some fundamental issues with the purpose and point of assigning homework and don't think teachers should do it, but if that's what's required of my child, then so be it...)

Anywho, carry on with the conversation. Sleep easy tonight knowing I won't be locking my child in her room until she reaches the age majority all because of a lonely little B.

 

[Robinrs]

Well crap, I poorly word a response and the masses go wild. Lol.

I'm not insane, nor am I tyrant... B's are fine. Depending on the reason, I suppose. But what I was calling mediocre and the product of laziness were consistent C's & D's on report cards. Not A's & B's.

I had the kind of parents that always expected A's and questioned me why I didn't get them when I didn't (which was often enough)... but they always made it crystal clear that they were proud of me, so I didn't feel any kind of ridiculous pressure from them like PP's have said.

Most people aren't great at EVERYTHING so it makes sense to struggle in particular subjects (math & science, in my case)... though if my daughter is getting a B simply because she's too lazy & irresponsible to do and turn in homework, then we've got a problem to discuss.

(Though I have some fundamental issues with the purpose and point of assigning homework and don't think teachers should do it, but if that's what's required of my child, then so be it...)

Anywho, carry on with the conversation. Sleep easy tonight knowing I won't be locking my child in her room until she reaches the age majority all because of a lonely little B.

Considering your oldest child (according to your siggie) is still a toddler, you still have a lifetime to experience what your girls are capable of. You have to be careful of what you 'tolerate" and what you expect.. and what your child truly can do. Every child has a gift, and you will find that all of your girls have their own gifts.

Enjoy all of their gifts...

 

[NYEmomma]

Considering your oldest child (according to your siggie) is still a toddler, you still have a lifetime to experience what your girls are capable of. You have to be careful of what you 'tolerate" and what you expect.. and what your child truly can do. Every child has a gift, and you will find that all of your girls have their own gifts.

Enjoy all of their gifts...

Her gift had BETTER be in the academic realm because we've already confirmed, it's nothing to do with athletics or the arts. Poor girl! She has fun dancing but man, oh, man... she is not gifted with grace. The kid couldn't even jump until she was 3.5!

But to get back on track, one doesn't have to be gifted to do well in school, nor do they have to be incredibly intelligent. Parent involvement and the degree to which parents value education plays a very large role.

 

[kamik86]

Honestly I understand the above poster in saying they question B's. My parents did in high school, because they knew I hated my classes because they were too easy. So if I"m complaining that classes are boring, too easy, and that is why I never have homework and hate school I should be getting all A's. Since I graduated valedictorian they believed that school was boring and too easy. If I complained about all that and got a B? That would mean I was making excuses not to do work.

On the other hand when I got to college B's in some subjects (calculus first quarter of freshman year when I went from a high school where the hardest math class was trig for example) my parents thought nothing of it.

As for C's in college it depends on a few things. Are you getting mostly C's in your major? that is a read flag to me... your major shouldn't be something you struggle with. It also shouldn't be something you hate. So either your not very good at your major or your not trying... either way not a great candidate for a job. Now if all your C's are in classes like "Arts of Expression" "Intro to Economics" "Introductory French" and "Political Science" when your a Computer Science or Engineering major... Well in that case C's get degrees works fine.

I actually had a professor that told many students that in his opinion a B plus is the perfect grade for a class (although he was talking grad school). He reasoned that if you get an A your either in too easy of a class and not worth your time and money or you are spending too much time on it that should be dedicated to other classes or to your research. If your getting a low B or a C your falling behind and not getting as much from the class as you should.

 

[NYEmomma]

I actually had a professor that told many students that in his opinion a B plus is the perfect grade for a class (although he was talking grad school). He reasoned that if you get an A your either in too easy of a class and not worth your time and money or you are spending too much time on it that should be dedicated to other classes or to your research. If your getting a low B or a C your falling behind and not getting as much from the class as you should.

Hmm... that's a very interesting perspective. Food for thought!

 

[SydSim]

we're the type of people that will ask our daughters why the didn't get ALL A's when they bring home report cards with one B on it. It's one thing to struggle in a subject and to continue to struggle in it as long as you recognize your short-comings and actively seek out help from either us or a tutor. It's another thing entirely too be lazy.

Have our high GPAs and Honors diplomas and fancy cords at graduation gotten us ahead of an average person? I doubt it. Our teeny tiny house and teeny tiny budget are saying "no. Definitely not." But we're not the type of people to accept mediocrity, especially when rooted in laziness. We place a very, very high value on education.

So what I'm hearing is that you expect your children to bring home all As, and if there is a B in there, it should be after trying as hard as possible, staying after with the teacher and getting tutoring? If your child received As and Bs on tests, and ended up with a B average for the marking period, that's not good enough? Is being content with receiving a 91 (which is a B in many places) considered laziness?

Ok, do said children get questioned if they don't get 100s on every test? If they miss a few questions, and only get a 93, which could still be an A, does that mean that they were being lazy and didn't make sure that they sought out appropriate help in order to ensure a grade of 100?

I understand that we don't want lazy kids, especially when it comes to academics. What I don't understand is why so many parents see anything less than an A as almost a failure. On College Confidential, I see so many kids say things like "My GPA is only 4.2 - I know that sucks". Where are kids getting these ideas?

Is that what the show Glee meant when saying that an "A minus is considered the Asian F?"

 

[JVL1018]

So what I'm hearing is that you expect your children to bring home all As, and if there is a B in there, it should be after trying as hard as possible, staying after with the teacher and getting tutoring? If your child received As and Bs on tests, and ended up with a B average for the marking period, that's not good enough? Is being content with receiving a 91 (which is a B in many places) considered laziness?

Ok, do said children get questioned if they don't get 100s on every test? If they miss a few questions, and only get a 93, which could still be an A, does that mean that they were being lazy and didn't make sure that they sought out appropriate help in order to ensure a grade of 100?

I understand that we don't want lazy kids, especially when it comes to academics. What I don't understand is why so many parents see anything less than an A as almost a failure. On College Confidential, I see so many kids say things like "My GPA is only 4.2 - I know that sucks". Where are kids getting these ideas?

Is that what the show Glee meant when saying that an "A minus is considered the Asian F?"

Haha, my daughters best friend calls a B, an Ourlastname F.
My kids are only going into 6th and 8th, but so far, my daughter has only has As, and my son has has just one B-science in the first marking period of 3rd grade.
I do joke about Bs being a fail, but they know I'm joking. I expect the best that they can achieve, that's been As so far, but I'm not banking in that always being the case! There's a lot of school left for them!

My daughter scratched and clawed her way to 2 As and 2A- in Advanced Language Arts this past year, but for a while when I was checking Infinite Campus, her grade during a couple of marking periods was a B+
She did manage to pull it up before the end of the marking period, but I actually told her that not only would I be fine with her getting the B+, as I know she was working hard, I hoped she would get it, just so she would know the world does not end because of a B.
She puts a lot of pressure on herself, but I know that as school gets harder, there may be a B or two, and I'm fine with it. SHE needs to be fine with it, too.
Again, as long as you are trying your best, I'm happy with whatever grade they get.

 

[sonnyjane]

Haha, my daughters best friend calls a B, an Ourlastname F.
My kids are only going into 6th and 8th, but so far, my daughter has only has As, and my son has has just one B-science in the first marking period of 3rd grade.
I do joke about Bs being a fail, but they know I'm joking. I expect the best that they can achieve, that's been As so far, but I'm not banking in that always being the case! There's a lot of school left for them!

My daughter scratched and clawed her way to 2 As and 2A- in Advanced Language Arts this past year, but for a while when I was checking Infinite Campus, her grade during a couple of marking periods was a B+
She did manage to pull it up before the end of the marking period, but I actually told her that not only would I be fine with her getting the B+, as I know she was working hard, I hoped she would get it, just so she would know the world does not end because of a B.
She puts a lot of pressure on herself, but I know that as school gets harder, there may be a B or two, and I'm fine with it. SHE needs to be fine with it, too.
Again, as long as you are trying your best, I'm happy with whatever grade they get.

I agree the first B is liberating lol! Much like having perfect attendance or a sports season with no losses... The pressure just mounts and mounts!

I think I got only 1 B in high school (college was a different story) and even the principal gave me a jokingly hard time about it because he knew I was so distraught. I was 16 years old and pulling all-nighters. How foolish that was!

 

[Aliceacc]

I should be banned from the Dis.

Both my husband and I are teachers, we have 3 kids, and NONE of them is a straight A student.
.

Go figure.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I should be banned from the Dis.

Both my husband and I are teachers, we have 3 kids, and NONE of them is a straight A student.
.

Go figure.

I'll leave with you! I have one who IS a straight A student, and I spend an inordinate amount of time encouraging her to let go and not worry so much about her grades. I was thrilled this year that she is now okay with getting some lower grades on individual assignments when she knows it won't drop her overall.

And my other one? I cannot even being to imagine putting the kinds of pressure on him it would take to produce those grades in some subjects. He puts in a good effort, and he learns, and he does well socially with his friends and right now that is all I am asking for

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I should be banned from the Dis.

Both my husband and I are teachers, we have 3 kids, and NONE of them is a straight A student.
.

Go figure.

Just MHO, but I'm of the opinion that the very best teachers are the ones who didn't make all A's and who have kids who don't make all A's. They don't expect perfection and they know about about balance. In addition, it means that classes didn't come so easily to them that they just "got" A's so they know in their bones that not everything academic comes easily to everyone.

Two of my young relations were taught by one of my former students who now has a reputation for being a bit of a sadistic teacher. (I've looked at their work, and they learned a lot from this teacher, so I'm not worried about the poor dears.) This particular student was a sweet kid, but she made A's without having for them. The next year's teacher, the Junior AP teacher, is someone I went to school with. As I remember, she had to work for her grades; she now has a reputation as a teacher who works her kids hard but has fun too and easy to learn from.

 

[Aliceacc]

Just MHO, but I'm of the opinion that the very best teachers are the ones who didn't make all A's and who have kids who don't make all A's. They don't expect perfection and they know about about balance. In addition, it means that classes didn't come so easily to them that they just "got" A's so they know in their bones that not everything academic comes easily to everyone.

Two of my young relations were taught by one of my former students who now has a reputation for being a bit of a sadistic teacher. (I've looked at their work, and they learned a lot from this teacher, so I'm not worried about the poor dears.) This particular student was a sweet kid, but she made A's without having for them. The next year's teacher, the Junior AP teacher, is someone I went to school with. As I remember, she had to work for her grades; she now has a reputation as a teacher who works her kids hard but has fun too and easy to learn from.

I agree absolutely. I once worked with a math teacher like that-- she had never struggled on anything, and simply could not understand how something could not be apparent. The bright kids loved her!! But the kids who struggled felt demeaned and belittled.

I think that part of being a teacher is realizing that every kid is different, and what comes easily to one does not to another. It's not a value judgement, just an acknowlegement that people are different. And it's my job to work with ALL my kids, not just the ones who enjoy my class and the material in it, or those who can get those A's.

Some of my favorite kids over the years have been those who hated math, or who struggled with it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I agree absolutely. I once worked with a math teacher like that-- she had never struggled on anything, and simply could not understand how something could not be apparent. The bright kids loved her!! But the kids who struggled felt demeaned and belittled.

I think that part of being a teacher is realizing that every kid is different, and what comes easily to one does not to another. It's not a value judgement, just an acknowlegement that people are different. And it's my job to work with ALL my kids, not just the ones who enjoy my class and the material in it, or those who can get those A's.

Some of my favorite kids over the years have been those who hated math, or who struggled with it.

You must be a GREAT teacher

 

[Aliceacc]

You must be a GREAT teacher

I'm lucky enough to have found a job I love and that I'm good at. And to do it in a school where I'm treated as a professional.

I hate the term "dream job" since any job is work and has its off days. But if I were going to use it, it would be for my job. I've been teaching math since 1980 and at my school since 1987. And there's not another job in the world for me.

 

[Cindy B]

So what I'm hearing is that you expect your children to bring home all As, and if there is a B in there, it should be after trying as hard as possible, staying after with the teacher and getting tutoring? If your child received As and Bs on tests, and ended up with a B average for the marking period, that's not good enough? Is being content with receiving a 91 (which is a B in many places) considered laziness?

Ok, do said children get questioned if they don't get 100s on every test? If they miss a few questions, and only get a 93, which could still be an A, does that mean that they were being lazy and didn't make sure that they sought out appropriate help in order to ensure a grade of 100?

I understand that we don't want lazy kids, especially when it comes to academics. What I don't understand is why so many parents see anything less than an A as almost a failure. On College Confidential, I see so many kids say things like "My GPA is only 4.2 - I know that sucks". Where are kids getting these ideas?

Is that what the show Glee meant when saying that an "A minus is considered the Asian F?"

Yes, in my area an a- is considered the Asian F. For many students and parents the only acceptable grade is an A+ not an A- or an A.
I am a teacher and I tutor. I know of my students that treat a 100 as the only acceptable grade. If they miss one question and get a 95 or 98, they are devastated. My daughters former public high school had very high standards- if you got a C in an advanced class- students were recommended to take a remedial level or referred to the special education department.

For example, my daughter would work until 3 am most nights as a high school freshman. She studied her butt off, she was up until 3 am most nights. One class, 9th grade US History, was her challenge. This course was doing college level work with 14 and 15 year olds! (I graduated college recently so I can verify) She got a high C but still a C in the course. The teacher recommended her for the remedial course level for sophomore year- this switch is usually only recommended if you have D's or F's, or if you have a documented need-such as a 504 or IEP. This remedial course would really hurt her college chances.
I had an intense conversation with the guidance counselor about this how this pressure is hurting 14/15 year olds. My daughter transferred to another high school in our district (we have school choice) and she is doing fantastic. She was honor roll the entire school year, is only up until midnight for school work, completed a dual credit college/high school course and got academic awards.

Her first high school pushed IVY league all the time. If a student wasn't going to Yale, Harvard or Princeton, the students didn't feel they were worth it! Her new high school is rigorous, but not overtly.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm lucky enough to have found a job I love and that I'm good at. And to do it in a school where I'm treated as a professional.

I hate the term "dream job" since any job is work and has its off days. But if I were going to use it, it would be for my job. I've been teaching math since 1980 and at my school since 1987. And there's not another job in the world for me.

That is really great. I love hearing when people find such a good match for themselves (and in your case it also means dozens of students benefit every year as well!).

 

[Aliceacc]

Yes, in my area an a- is considered the Asian F. I have never heard that term before. And, to be honest, as the mom of a child adopted from Korea, I'm not thrilled with it.

For many students and parents the only acceptable grade is an A+ not an A- or an A.
I am a teacher and I tutor. I know of my students that treat a 100 as the only acceptable grade. If they miss one question and get a 95 or 98, they are devastated. My daughters former public high school had very high standards- if you got a C in an advanced class- students were recommended to take a remedial level or referred to the special education department.

For example, my daughter would work until 3 am most nights as a high school freshman. In my humble opinion, that's crazy. No 14 year old should have to work that hard to keep up. She studied her butt off, she was up until 3 am most nights. One class, 9th grade US History, was her challenge. This course was doing college level work with 14 and 15 year olds! (I graduated college recently so I can verify) She got a high C but still a C in the course. The teacher recommended her for the remedial course level for sophomore year- this switch is usually only recommended if you have D's or F's, or if you have a documented need-such as a 504 or IEP. This remedial course would really hurt her college chances.
I had an intense conversation with the guidance counselor about this how this pressure is hurting 14/15 year olds. My daughter transferred to another high school in our district (we have school choice) and she is doing fantastic. Your daughter will thank you forever. She was honor roll the entire school year, is only up until midnight for school work, completed a dual credit college/high school course and got academic awards.

Her first high school pushed IVY league all the time. If a student wasn't going to Yale, Harvard or Princeton, the students didn't feel they were worth it! Her new high school is rigorous, but not overtly.

I'm all about my kids-- both my own 3 and those I teach-- doing well. But I simply can NOT understand the urgency that requires a 14 year old to be up even till midnight doing homework.

What I tell my kids is this: there are no math emergencies. I expect you to spend 20 minutes per night seriously doing your math homework-- no Xbox, no Ipad, no phone, no fridge. If, at the end of those 20 minutes, you're not done, then close your book. If you're the only one who struggled, I expect to see you at extra help tomorrow. But if everyone struggled, then either I assigned too much or I didn't explain it right, and I'll fix it tomorrow.