Creepy Facebook Message - Ever have one of these?

[kimmar067]

So last night I get this message on facebook. It says, "I remember you from _________________ High. You used to get your kicks having a laugh at my expense. I hope you turned out to be a better person than you were in high school."

It's from a fake name. I don't want to post the name, but it's kind of like BadChickie Hitter - something along those lines. The girl has a picture, but I don't recognize the person. Of course, she's seriously "tarted up" in the picture - tons of makeup, teased out hair and a bustier top -- like something from Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. I don't recognize anyone in her group of friends either.

She got the name of the High School right, but I'm a member of a facebook group for our high school graduating class, so she could have gotten it from there.

Anyway, I deleted the message and blocked the person. I don't know if she violated any facebook rules with this message, so I didn't report her.

Anyone ever have something like this happen to them? Do you think this person is for real or just someone having some cyber fun at my expense? Is there anything else I should do to protect myself in case this person is a nutjob?

...which is why I don't 'facebook', 'twitter', 'myspace', etc.....CREEPY!

 

[WriteDisney]

...which is why I don't 'facebook', 'twitter', 'myspace', etc.....CREEPY!

Exactly!

 

[horseshowmom]

I do Facebook just a little bit. It amazes me the number of people who send friend requests - some that I barely know and some I don't know at all. I've clicked on Ignore on quite a few and felt a little bit guilty because it looks lots of people add just about everybody. I've had several people send friend requests that I see from time to time and are nodding acquaintances at best. I don't get why they send friend requests.

OP, I would just delete the post and move on. A fake name and odd picture would be enough for me. You've already adjusted your settings so you should be fine.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

It depends on how long ago high school was. I graduated over 25 years ago and I would never have recognized many of the people who are now my FB friends.

My 20-year reunion was amazing. Some of the people looked exactly the same. Others, I wouldn't have recognized if my life depended on it.

If someone with a fake name and a picture you didn't recognize emailed you that message, would you just assume you were mean to them and commence the mea culpas immediately? Really?

Not necessarily, but I wouldn't automatically assume that there wasn't a valid reason the person could have thought I acted mean, or confused me with someone else, either.

I've seen lots of fake names and pictures on Facebook, some people do it for privacy or for just because they think it's fun. Yea, it would be better if everyone had the confidence to confront people from their past openly and honestly, but some people don't. I wouldn't automatically assume they were a troll because of it, or because I didn't recognize their friends. I only have one high school friend on my Facebook, and she moved away after sophomore year, so I bet a lot of people wouldn't recognize her, either.

Does this person's FB page give any clues as to where he/she grew up, and is it in your area? Does he/she have normal "facebook" conversations between friends, post pictures, etc, or just have a blank page?

I guess I don't see what the harm is in replying to the message (not friending the person), and saying "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings in high school, but I don't remember doing it and don't recognize your picture. Can you tell me who you are or what the situation was?" If it's a troll, he'll be disappointed you didn't get all mad and start a fight about it. If it's not a troll, hopefully you'll get an answer. And you're saying "if" you hurt their feelings, so you're not owning up to doing something you didn't do.

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it would bug me more to think I may have blown off someone I once knew, than it would to respond to a troll the way I mentioned above.

 

[itchin2go]

Does this person's FB page give any clues as to where he/she grew up, and is it in your area? Does he/she have normal "facebook" conversations between friends, post pictures, etc, or just have a blank page?

I guess I don't see what the harm is in replying to the message (not friending the person), and saying "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings in high school, but I don't remember doing it and don't recognize your picture. Can you tell me who you are or what the situation was?" If it's a troll, he'll be disappointed you didn't get all mad and start a fight about it. If it's not a troll, hopefully you'll get an answer. And you're saying "if" you hurt their feelings, so you're not owning up to doing something you didn't do.

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it would bug me more to think I may have blown off someone I once knew, than it would to respond to a troll the way I mentioned above.

Very persuasive post, Mrs. Toad!

Well, I unblocked her to see what I could find out, and based on the pictures I saw, this is not someone I want to be corresponding with. The profile picture should have been enough to tell me this, but the others I saw were ummm provocative, adult and (there's that word again) creepy. Most of her "friends" are dressed in a very "adult" fashion as well. Our school was in a suburb of Memphis, and I did see Memphis mentioned, so there's a possibility that this person is for real. I STILL don't recognize her and I can't find anything else to link her to me (other than the email). She hasn't been on Facebook very long, if that makes a difference. At any rate, I don't think this is a can of worms I want to open up. The pictures were disturbing enough that I went back to double-check my privacy settings. I have to wait 48 hours to block her again, which is what I'm planning to do.

If this is a person that I wronged in some way in the past, I would hate that. The problem is that based on what has ended up in my inbox and based on what I can see on Facebook:

(1) I don't know who this is.
(2) I am disturbed by what I have seen; and
(3) I don't trust that this person is well-intentioned or who they are purporting to be.

With the things that people pull on the internet, I have to protect myself first and foremost. Thank you to everyone who chimed in!

 

[RadioNate]

I was bullied in school, too, but twenty years later I hold no grudges because I was picked on by other children or teens. I choose to believe that the adults these people are today are much kinder and more mature than when they were in school. If it's been ten, twenty years... you gotta let it go.

I have contacted a few folks from high school via Facebook to whom I wasn't always the nicest. I wrote things like, "It's great to catch up with you again. I know that I wasn't always the kind of friend to you that you deserved and I'm really sorry for that. I'm looking forward to getting to know you as adults.".

Every person to whom I wrote responded graciously, saying that they had their own less-than-stellar moments in school and that they forgave me for being a goober at times.

I think it's bizarre to approach an old classmate after twenty years and start with the accusations. Time has passed and people have grown up.

I love this reply. A few years ago, 15 years after HS, I was contacted by a classmate who told me I was a horrible, toxic person who made her life hell.

It was bazaar because I considered this girl one of my good friends from high school. To this day, I can't figure out what I did to her. I did send a blanket apology because I really liked this girl and valued her friendship. Some of my best HS memories are of her.

Nearly 2 years later, her words still bother me. She is also FB friends with people who really were toxic, bad influences etc. I don't know why they are ok but I'm horrible.

I also don't understand why she things I had any better time in HS than she did? It isn't like I was any cooler or whatever.

What is funny is that the people I truly was horrible too (and I admit there are a few) are all OK with me. We all grew up and put what happened behind us. None of them are holding a grudge.

 

[LunchladyDoris]

I have had one of those messages before but here is the thing, I was homeschooled. Unless my brother has some issues with calling him "pizza face" then I call this message bogus. Just change your privacy on the facebook.

If this message was real, then I think it is creepier that someone from 20 years ago went through facebook and messaged you.

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

I've clicked on Ignore on quite a few and felt a little bit guilty because it looks lots of people add just about everybody.

Don't feel guilty! It's not a dating site. It's a site to connect with friends, family, former classmates, etc. I never add anyone to my Facebook or Myspace pages unless I know them personally.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I guess I don't see what the harm is in replying to the message (not friending the person), and saying "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings in high school, but I don't remember doing it and don't recognize your picture. Can you tell me who you are or what the situation was?" If it's a troll, he'll be disappointed you didn't get all mad and start a fight about it. If it's not a troll, hopefully you'll get an answer. And you're saying "if" you hurt their feelings, so you're not owning up to doing something you didn't do.

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it would bug me more to think I may have blown off someone I once knew, than it would to respond to a troll the way I mentioned above.

I think I remember reding that if you respond to a Private message or Friend Request on Facebook, that that person can see your Wall and Info. I think it is only for a limited time, but if this is a troll as it sounds, it only takes 2 seconds to get hacked.
I would NOT respond at all. If she were using her real name, maybe....

 

[bumbershoot]

My 20-year reunion was amazing. Some of the people looked exactly the same. Others, I wouldn't have recognized if my life depended on it.

Were the people you recognized easily ones you'd known since elementary school? And the others only from high school?

That's what I, and several other people, noticed at my 20th. You could look around and see people grouped in elementary school groups; there were 3 that fed into two junior/middle schools that went to one HS. Those of us from my elementary school recognized each other instantly.

But then there was the one woman who'd had so much plastic surgery that almost no one knew who she was...

I have had one of those messages before but here is the thing, I was homeschooled. Unless my brother has some issues with calling him "pizza face" then I call this message bogus.

Picturing little brothers around the world sending nasty FB messages...

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Very persuasive post, Mrs. Toad!

Well, I unblocked her to see what I could find out, and based on the pictures I saw, this is not someone I want to be corresponding with. The profile picture should have been enough to tell me this, but the others I saw were ummm provocative, adult and (there's that word again) creepy. Most of her "friends" are dressed in a very "adult" fashion as well. Our school was in a suburb of Memphis, and I did see Memphis mentioned, so there's a possibility that this person is for real. I STILL don't recognize her and I can't find anything else to link her to me (other than the email). She hasn't been on Facebook very long, if that makes a difference. At any rate, I don't think this is a can of worms I want to open up. The pictures were disturbing enough that I went back to double-check my privacy settings. I have to wait 48 hours to block her again, which is what I'm planning to do.

If this is a person that I wronged in some way in the past, I would hate that. The problem is that based on what has ended up in my inbox and based on what I can see on Facebook:

(1) I don't know who this is.
(2) I am disturbed by what I have seen; and
(3) I don't trust that this person is well-intentioned or who they are purporting to be.

With the things that people pull on the internet, I have to protect myself first and foremost. Thank you to everyone who chimed in!

I can understand that!

 

[LunchladyDoris]

Why would you report her and why was it creepy? You obviously treated her bad in high school and she needed to get it off her chest. Oh well.

I haven't had anything similar, but a guy from high school gave me a friend request. I responded back with "Okay, but in elementary school, you wrote in my autograph book, "I hope one day Pam has a boyfriend, but I doubt if she ever will-Blech!" So, as adults, he had forgotten but he aplogized and we had a good laugh over it.

Sorry, maybe you should respond by saying you're sorry if you were ever mean.

Can I ask this without sounding like I am being rude but why would you dwell on a comment made in elementary school? Children tease one another, that is what they do. The fact that you responded to this person's friend request with that comment is kind of odd, I would understand being mad in high school about some things but elementary school? Really?

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Were the people you recognized easily ones you'd known since elementary school? And the others only from high school?

That's what I, and several other people, noticed at my 20th. You could look around and see people grouped in elementary school groups; there were 3 that fed into two junior/middle schools that went to one HS. Those of us from my elementary school recognized each other instantly.

But then there was the one woman who'd had so much plastic surgery that almost no one knew who she was...

No, it was more about how much they'd changed for me. We did have that one who'd had tons of plastic surgery, too, though!

 

[Ceila]

I am truly stunned by the number of people who would go right on ahead and apologize to some random poster on FB with an obviously fake name!!! What on earth are you people thinking? Do you really believe that just because someone posts something, it HAS to be true?!?!

 

[sbell111]

I think that the fear of being hacked shown in this thread doesn't accurately reflect the danger.

 

[sbell111]

I am truly stunned by the number of people who would go right on ahead and apologize to some random poster on FB with an obviously fake name!!! What on earth are you people thinking? Do you really believe that just because someone posts something, it HAS to be true?!?!

There's no harm in an apology.

It's a karmic thing.

 

[DisTeach1]

Can I ask this without sounding like I am being rude but why would you dwell on a comment made in elementary school? Children tease one another, that is what they do. The fact that you responded to this person's friend request with that comment is kind of odd, I would understand being mad in high school about some things but elementary school? Really?

It's not something I've dwelled on, but something I've always remembered, and actually laughed about in later years. When I responded to him, it was more in a teasing way, than a serious way, and we laughed about it.

However, my other point was, if you were someone who was teased, you usually do remember it, maybe not dwell on it, but remember it-Yes.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I am truly stunned by the number of people who would go right on ahead and apologize to some random poster on FB with an obviously fake name!!! What on earth are you people thinking? Do you really believe that just because someone posts something, it HAS to be true?!?!

See post #44.

 

[itchin2go]

I think that the fear of being hacked shown in this thread doesn't accurately reflect the danger.

Meaning there's more danger or less danger?

I'm a risk averse person, just FYI. I always say that the fact that there's only a 1% chance that something bad will happen is little comfort to the 1% it happens to. I'm not advocating avoiding all activities with a 1% chance of injury -- but I do try to look at things with a risk/reward filter.

So for me in this situation, I'm saying is it worth me taking a chance to engage this person? And several things are warning me against it, so I'm electing to steer clear.

 

[disneymom3]

Thank you. I drastically dialed back my facebook privacy settings.

I'm really surprised that so many assumed that I must have been a witch in high school just because an anonymous person sent me that message on facebook.

Yep. I find that completely bizarre.

I wouldn't.

If a person wants to "heal old wounds", then be honest about who you really are. If they have to create and hide behind a fake name, they have no credibility. JMO
.

Exactly. You use a weird clearly fake name and how does that make you feel better even if you do receive an apology. You aren't even letting the person know who you are so clearly they can't genuinely apologize even if they wanted to.

...which is why I don't 'facebook', 'twitter', 'myspace', etc.....CREEPY!

Hmmm. I have ONLY friends and family on Facebook. You post on the DIS and you don't know these people at all. How is FB creepy? (Not criticizing. I really don't get it.)