Creepy Facebook Message - Ever have one of these?

[Tiggernut_jadie]

Okay, all I'm saying, is this...

I was teased in high school. I had acne, etc. I was awkward and I was teased. What I've noticed, not just in my situation, but others it this:

The people who were doing the teasing or were mean...DON"T EVER REMEMBER IT, EVER, but the people who were the victims, REMEMBER IT FOREVER. I've seen this again and again.

Okay, so maybe the OP wasn't mean, but still, it's FACEBOOK...I don't take it that seriously, and I realize by being on it, I'm opening myself to people and memories that I don't remember. I let it go, I'd never go to the trouble of reporting it.

I agree with this post. I bumped into a girl I was at school with a few years ago. She was one of a group who used to tease me about my weight and wearing glasses - she wasn't the ring leader but used to laugh along when I was bullied - never once sticking up for me etc. When I saw her a few years ago she had put on a lot of weight and died her dark brown hair white blonde and I honestly didn't know her. She recognised me though and wnated to be all 'best friends' with me....when I said she was one of the people who made my life HE!! at school she either couldn't or wouldn't remember! She wanted to 'stay in touch' but I'm afraid I don't DO the forgive and forget thing so I gave her a flase e-mail address and haven't seen her since!

 

[OK!]

Yeah - I don't think I was mean to anyone. I wasn't one of those girls who ruled the school. I was a middle of the road kid who kept to myself and my friends. I'm actually kind of shy around people I don't know, so, although I don't remember everything that ever happened in high school, I just don't think I was mean to this person.

That's why I kind of jumped to the conclusion that this was something else.

I'd think it might just have been someone who decided to basically do the equivalent of prank-calling you, especially since you weren't mean to anybody in high school.

 

[Kathi OD]

Why would you report her and why was it creepy? You obviously treated her bad in high school and she needed to get it off her chest. Oh well.

You seriously don't think it's more than a little strange, that someone contacted OP with a name that was obviously made up AND a picture she didn't recognize, and then not only acts like OP should know her, but accuses her of being mean?

Call me weird, but yeah, I'd categorize that as being creepy. If this person is for real, she should have used her real name and a picture that the OP would have recognized.

 

[sbell111]

You seriously don't think it's more than a little strange, that someone contacted OP with a name that was obviously made up AND a picture she didn't recognize, and then not only acts like OP should know her, but accuses her of being mean?

Call me weird, but yeah, I'd categorize that as being creepy. If this person is for real, she should have used her real name and a picture that the OP would have recognized.

I certainly don't think that it's strange that someone might hide behind a sock puppet to make such a contact.

If the OP was mean to her in HS, she may have wanted to call her on it, but not be subjected to any further abuse by her.

 

[wvjules]

Why do you think it's a fake name? Because you don't recognize it?

 

[ginna74]

Okay, all I'm saying, is this...

I was teased in high school. I had acne, etc. I was awkward and I was teased. What I've noticed, not just in my situation, but others it this:

The people who were doing the teasing or were mean...DON"T EVER REMEMBER IT, EVER, but the people who were the victims, REMEMBER IT FOREVER. I've seen this again and again.

Okay, so maybe the OP wasn't mean, but still, it's FACEBOOK...I don't take it that seriously, and I realize by being on it, I'm opening myself to people and memories that I don't remember. I let it go, I'd never go to the trouble of reporting it.

This is true I believe too. I was bullied in middle school/high school so much that I did quit (got my GED later). I will never forget what I went through who put me through it and the adults who just stood by and watched. It really is a part of my being . I wasn't just mildly bullied either,I was physically hurt, scared for my life, emotionally traumatized, then I got to the point where I just didn't care. Oh yeh it is still there with me and will always be there. Dramatic it was and still is.

Was not saying that op was a bully either, just agreeing with above.

 

[itchin2go]

Why do you think it's a fake name? Because you don't recognize it?

The name is Bad[Insert Animal Name] Beater. I don't want to post the exact name, but I'm pretty sure I didn't graduate from HS with someone named BadBunny Beater or BadFerret Beater (or the like). It's a made up name. Could be just an internet message board name, or a stage name for all I know.

 

[Halloweenqueen]

This was on Myspace but, a year ago I get a friend request from an old school friend. We exchanged comments for a couple of months, then he asked for my email address to put me on a school alumni list.

Then he starts sending me pornographic pictures of himself in the email!

I deleted my myspace account over it. It was so creepy.

 

[wvjules]

The name is Bad[Insert Animal Name] Beater. I don't want to post the exact name, but I'm pretty sure I didn't graduate from HS with someone named BadBunny Beater or BadFerret Beater (or the like). It's a made up name. Could be just an internet message board name, or a stage name for all I know.

Gotcha.

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

Try Googling the username to see if anything pops up. Could be a fake profile designed to add malicious spyware to your computer or something similar.

 

[Stitchfans]

Why would you report her and why was it creepy? You obviously treated her bad in high school and she needed to get it off her chest. Oh well.

I haven't had anything similar, but a guy from high school gave me a friend request. I responded back with "Okay, but in elementary school, you wrote in my autograph book, "I hope one day Pam has a boyfriend, but I doubt if she ever will-Blech!" So, as adults, he had forgotten but he aplogized and we had a good laugh over it.

Sorry, maybe you should respond by saying you're sorry if you were ever mean.

I agree also.

 

[ols386]

I would think it's creepy to get a message from someone who you don't know or don't remember. I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't think it's creepy. I'd definately block them from your Facebook account.

 

[itchin2go]

I agree also.

If someone with a fake name and a picture you didn't recognize emailed you that message, would you just assume you were mean to them and commence the mea culpas immediately? Really?

 

[cheermom1]

I see it as creepy too ..I don't assume the op was a bad person in HS..I was teased myself and very badly I might add ..But for someone to have a made up name and weird pic. like that ...I'd block her too..sounds like someone wanting to mess with her...

 

[LuvOrlando]

WOW, I feel bad for you OP.... you poor dear

I happen to think the post is probably from a male because of the name. It just doesn't SOUND like something a woman would write, weird men are always going on & on about stuff like that, KWIM. First off, make sure your privacy setting is set that only friends can see your info, not friends of friends. You never know who might be trying to stir you up. It could be a jealous girlfriend of some guy you know or did know or some long ago forgotten guy who is trying to upset you using some girls picture he might not even know. Some people are just un-stable and there is very little you can do about it other than try to not provoke them, set up boundaries and be careful.

Personally, I do not think that you were mean just because someone says you were. I had many people do many mean things to me in HS. Guys saying I did stuff that wasn't true, girls spreading rumors about me. A girl called a teacher in my name to try and get me in trouble. I even had a stalker I never felt I had done anything wrong to deserve it, I just figured they were nutters and wrote them off. Like I said some people are just unstable, it rots when you are in their cross-hairs but it's not your fault.

If what you are describing happened to me I would not have deleted her and I would have reported her for harassment since there was obviously malicious intent behind the comments. Also this is step one in case it escalates. Maybe it's not too late, I'm sure FB must have a protocol for dealing with this sort of thing, maybe they could send you a printout. Then I would have pulled out your old yearbook and looked to see if anyone rings any bells. The name of your HS isn't exactly private. Since it is on your page and you are a part of a group where your HS is the main focus anyone could use that to make them seem familiar? I know I'm on my Grammar School Fan group so anyone that reads that would see my name and could theoretically make it seem as if I knew them, KWIM. I would think someone holding a grudge would be more detailed. As for why someone would do this, I think it might just be for weirdo kicks. Remember how there used to be bands of kooks roaming the DIS who would swoop in at verbally attack people 'just because'? That sort of behavior isn't new... it's odd and unstable but not really new.

If it makes you feel any better I've gotten some weird FB inquiries too. Some from people I know, some from people who know people I know, and some from random strangers. I only say yes to people who are or who once were good friends, the rest sit in my in-box forever.

 

[VillageMama]

I was bullied in school, too, but twenty years later I hold no grudges because I was picked on by other children or teens. I choose to believe that the adults these people are today are much kinder and more mature than when they were in school. If it's been ten, twenty years... you gotta let it go.

I have contacted a few folks from high school via Facebook to whom I wasn't always the nicest. I wrote things like, "It's great to catch up with you again. I know that I wasn't always the kind of friend to you that you deserved and I'm really sorry for that. I'm looking forward to getting to know you as adults.".

Every person to whom I wrote responded graciously, saying that they had their own less-than-stellar moments in school and that they forgave me for being a goober at times.

I think it's bizarre to approach an old classmate after twenty years and start with the accusations. Time has passed and people have grown up.

 

[itchin2go]

If what you are describing happened to me I would not have deleted her and I would have reported her for harassment since there was obviously malicious intent behind the comments. Also this is step one in case it escalates. Maybe it's not too late, I'm sure FB must have a protocol for dealing with this sort of thing, maybe they could send you a printout. Then I would have pulled out your old yearbook and looked to see if anyone rings any bells. The name of your HS isn't exactly private. Is it on your page, are you a part of any groups where your HS is the main focus? I know I'm on my Grammar School Fan group so anyone that reads that would see my name and could theoretically make it seem as if I knew them, KWIM.

Thank you.

I checked on facebook policies, and the rule is no threatening, sexually explicit or harassing messages. I guess this could be construed as harassing. I'm hoping that blocking her will prevent any further messages. If she (or he) finds a way to get through to me anyway, I'll definitely report it. Again, thanks for the advice. I just hope this person is not sending others similar messages. I should just let this roll off my back, but unfortunately, it is bothering me.

P.S. I did try googling the name, but all that comes up is the facebook page.

 

[RitaZ.]

If someone with a fake name and a picture you didn't recognize emailed you that message, would you just assume you were mean to them and commence the mea culpas immediately? Really?

I wouldn't.

If a person wants to "heal old wounds", then be honest about who you really are. If they have to create and hide behind a fake name, they have no credibility. JMO

Based on what the OP described, I wouldn't automatically assume that she mistreated this person in high school.

 

[mill4023]

I'd say there's a 99% chance this person is just making things up to get a kick out of themselves.

 

[KAMLEM]

Creepy because she didn't regcognize the name or picture. You don't change that much in looks from highschool.

It depends on how long ago high school was. I graduated over 25 years ago and I would never have recognized many of the people who are now my FB friends.