Considering only taking one child

jeepgirl30

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 29, 2003
Messages
1,678
I'm really torn and need some been there done that feedback. I'm prepared to be flamed but would appreciate both sides of the coin.

DD5 is a major princess freak. I've been trying to get her to disney for a few years. DS3 is a maniac! He is a Thomas Train freak and just a freak! He is very wild but adorable of course. DH is dreading a disney trip because DS is crazy when we do trips. He will refuse to sleep for days on end. DH suggested I take DD and just do a mother/daughter trip.

I'm leaning towards it. It would be such a special time for us. I could totally focus on all things princess. She is an easy child and has to give in a lot to her brother because he is not as easy! However he is still my baby and I'm not sure I want to leave him behind.

We were thinking we'd do a Thomas Day Out trip with him and then let him stay will my parents while I took DD to Disney. My dad is DS best friend in the whole world. That little boy just adores his Poppa.

Will he hate me when he is older? We plan to do many family Disney trips over the years so he will go.

Our trip would just be a 3 day one so it would be very affordable too.
 
DO IT! I went with dd 1 and 3 my other dd's 6 and 11 stayed home with DH . I would have loved to have taken them howver they had school and I went with My dad who is 70 and I had a great time and wonderful memories.
You can sugest to dh that he do something with your son. I do not know where you live how about Sesame Place in Pa? You will have a great time
My kids had a great time with Dh while I was gone. pixiedust:
 
We are taking DD for her 5th birthday, leaving DD 2 1/2 with the grandparents. In 2-3 years, we will go back with both of them. I am looking forward to some time with just DD before she starts all day kindergarten!
 
IMO it is a terrible idea. It isn't like he is a baby and wont know and your kids are close in age. So the next time you are going are you going to leave his sister at home? Gee let me see how I would feel sis gets to go to Disney and I get to go see a train engine with a face attatched and Sir Top n Hat character for a few hours yeah I wouldn't feel slighted. My DH still remembers he didn't get to go to NYC with his sister and Aunt&Uncle 47 years ago! Why not work on his behavior he is certainly old enough to get that under control. Things don't always have to be exactly equal among children but the should be fair and I don't think taking only one is being fair.
 

Some friends of mine tried to talk me into doing this for my upcoming April trip. We have 2 DS's 5 & 2. I know it will be crazy chasing around a 2 year old at Disney, but I can't bring myself to leave him at home. Looking back at the family vacation pictures without him in them, would be too sad to me....... I'd like to think there will be other DIsney trips for us in the near future, but who knows, Disney is expensive and we may not get to go back for several years. Sure, he'll be wild, sure he won't sleep as well on vacation as he would at home, but that's part of being a family!!
Just my opinion, best of luck on your decision, I'm sure you'll have fun either way.
 
Yes, I'd do it in a heartbeat!!!!! I'm all for parents making decisions based on the needs of the child at the time. For example, my two daughters have different spring breaks ths year. Is it "fair" that DD12 gets to go to WDW for a week while her sister, DD17, gets to stay at home and go to school? Maybe not, but why should DD12 be penalized for a school scheduling conflict? And I think that extends to children's needs at various ages, too. Why shouldn't you and DD have a calm, relaxed fun trip without DS? You said you'd have many Disney trips in the future - why make yourself crazy over this one when you have a great solution??? DS loves to stay with Poppa, you want a peaceful trip in order to focus on DD, your husband seems in favor of it - what's not to love? Go and have a great time!!!!!

The other side of the coin is down the road a ways. Same sisters, different scenario - younger DD will be away at camp this summer during the same time I had offered older sister a trip as a graduation present. The two times are the same - either DD12 will have to give up camp or DD17 will have to miss HER trip, in order for me to make it "equal". So I'm not ging to - each child is different and occasionally one will get something the other didn't. It will all work out in the end. If DD12 misses some things now, she'll "catch up" when she's older and she's the only one left at home.

Have a happy trip, whatever you decide!!!
 
We have taken trips with just our older kids, but mine are really spread out in age. When my oldest was 8 took him without his brother because he was an infant and didn't know the difference. We then left our DD when we took the boys back when they were 6 and 14 because she was an infant and wouldn't know she missed out. Your kids are really close in age to leave one behind on a disney trip. If your DS was a baby I would say go for it, but at 3 he knows where you are going and what you are doing.

We have done mother/ daughter trips and also mother/son trips, but they have never been anyplace as cool as disney. They were just short weekend type trips that were almost equal in the cool department. Thomas is Not anything close to a Disney trip (we have done both)

Your DS is old enought to remember that he didn't get to go to Disney and his sister did. It would be pretty hard to forget and he may let it build up over the years to a huge issue.
 
I would not leave one of my children and take the other to WDW. Maybe some other type of vacation but not one geared towards children. My children will be 5 and almost 3 when we go in November and I cannot even imagine leaving my daughter behind -- she's actually more excited about going than my son is and she doesn't even remember her last trip. Put yourself in the place of your son - how would you like to be left behind while your brother/sister went to WDW? Not a nice thought, huh?
 
We just did this in January. My ds is 6, dd is 3, and ds was 9 months. Dh and I took our 6 yr old and the 2 younger ones stayed at home with Grandma. The 9 month old didn't know the difference. I felt somewhat guilty but we had a perfect trip! Ds was old/tall enough to go on all the big rides yet young enough to believe all the magic. We didn't have to deal with strollers etc. and we had an absolutely perfect trip. It was nice to have that one on one time with our ds too.

My 3 yr old dd was excited to have the time with Grandma. She always has to compete with my older ds for Grandma's time so this was special for her. My Mom also did a lot of special things with her so she wasn't upset in the least bit. We've promised to take her when she is 6 and she talks of it often but she has not expressed any hurt feelings or been upset once. I am so glad we did it.

When we tell people what we did they get this look of shock but really it seems to be worse to them than it was to my dd! My older ds is looking forward to taking my dd and showing her everything he enjoyed when she is 6. We will leave my younger ds with Grandma for that trip as well. When he is 6 we will all go. I highly recommend it. It worked wonderfully for us!

Shelley
 
We were thinking we'd do a Thomas Day Out trip with him and then let him stay will my parents while I took DD to Disney. My dad is DS best friend in the whole world. That little boy just adores his Poppa.

Most folks ask this question and want to leave one child (usually the baby) at home with the grandparents. In that case, I think that everyone should go to WDW as a family. However, I have a different opinion of your situation. I think it would be perfect to have our DH take your son to a Thomas weekend while you take your daughter to WDW. Each child will be doing the thing that they love most with the undivided attention of a parent. It sounds like a great plan to me!
 
robinb said:
Most folks ask this question and want to leave one child (usually the baby) at home with the grandparents. In that case, I think that everyone should go to WDW as a family. However, I have a different opinion of your situation. I think it would be perfect to have our DH take your son to a Thomas weekend while you take your daughter to WDW. Each child will be doing the thing that they love most with the undivided attention of a parent. It sounds like a great plan to me!

I am in total agreement -- I think this sounds nice mother/daughter - and father/son -- it will be nice and you could switch and to father/son do Disney and mother/daughter do something else in a couple years
 
I am with robinb. I am not big on leave the kids behind and go to Disney world. Mostly because it is such a great place for kids, and I would miss them (and think "oh they would love this."

However in your case I think I would do it. It sounds like your son is not one that WDW is good for when young (he will do better older I guess) and it isn't fair not to go at all because of this. We did not take my nephew to WDW when he was young for the same reason. He went this past week for the f1st time with just his dad (his brother and sister didn't go, they had been either with us or friends and this was his time with his dad.) I haven' heard how it went, but he was 10 and I think ready for it.

I think it sounds like a good plan. It will be good for you and DD to have this time together.

I would consider doing something specail for your son, or a speical gift.

Have a great time. Traveling sounds hard for your son (and your family) I don't think a trip with just DD and you would be unfair. I am sure you do specail things for him too. In fact from what you are saying it sounds like your DD deserves a little time to be a princess. 5 is a great age. Waiting until her brother is older would mean waiting until she is 7, 8 or older. You might miss that magic age where she is into princesses!
 
I say yes! Take your DD to Disney and don't feel guilty. It's not like you'll be gone long and if DS is as much of a hand full as you say, then DD deserves some alone time with mom and dad. I too have a young DD hand full and my older DD at times feels alone. I make it up to her with special time together just the 2 of us. My DH and I left all 3 of our kids with my sister once to go to WDW for our anniversary. They were cool because they new we would be going back with them later in the year. It's not like your never going to take him.

And last but not least your DS is 3 not 13. He probably won't remember the time your gone as the time you left him behind to go to WDW. He'll probably remember it as the time he had his grandpa all to himself. Don't beat yourself up, have fun!

Just my opinion.
Yvette
96 days left
:cheer2:
 
I have taken only one child at a time and then the two eldest. My rule is no one goes before three or when they can handle it. Period. I admire the parents chasing toddlers around but I will be darned if I am one of them! Even three is a bit young for most of my brood but my almost three year old has been indoctrinated by the two eldest.

I don't like leaving my babies behind but I also have a hard time with the older two wanting to ride rides that the babies cannot go on and face it. They have these much younger brothers who take a lot of Mom and Dad's time and it's nice to have Mom and Dad cater to them for a while each year or two.
 
I would do it. You know your kids best and what they can handle take DD and have a great time. There are plenty of years ahead to have family trips.

When DS was 10 and DD was 14 months we took her with us. Thru Fairy Godmothers we hired a nanny who came to our room everyday from 9-5. We then would all get dinner and return to a park for the evening. DD would pretty much sleep in her stroller, some eve's she spent with grandparents. This worked for us, she was not old enough to appreciate a WDW trip but DS was the perfect age and the trip really was about him and us.

Go for it and enjoy

MamaCatNV
 
robinb said:
Most folks ask this question and want to leave one child (usually the baby) at home with the grandparents. In that case, I think that everyone should go to WDW as a family. However, I have a different opinion of your situation. I think it would be perfect to have our DH take your son to a Thomas weekend while you take your daughter to WDW. Each child will be doing the thing that they love most with the undivided attention of a parent. It sounds like a great plan to me!

I completely agree with this. I am not usually a fan of people leaving 1 kid behind either, but your situation is different. I think it's a great idea to do something different with each kid. They have different interests and would enjoy the activities you picked much better than the whole family going together just for the sake of going together. And you can always reverse things down the line and take your son to WDW (or another 'bigger event' that he likes) and your daughter to something local like a manicure or something.
 
Hoping this doesn't sound harsh...

I'm shocked that parents would leave a child out of a family vacation - especially one to Disney. Seems selfish - in this case sounds like the mother is the one who wants to go but is using DD as the reason to go and DS as the reason to make the trip an "easier one."

Can't really just love your kids when it's convenient.
 
njdisneyfam said:
Hoping this doesn't sound harsh...

I'm shocked that parents would leave a child out of a family vacation - especially one to Disney. Seems selfish - in this case sounds like the mother is the one who wants to go but is using DD as the reason to go and DS as the reason to make the trip an "easier one."

Can't really just love your kids when it's convenient.


It sounds harsh to me. :scared:

She (or anyone who said go for it.) isn't talking about "Only loving you kid when it is convenient." She is talking about doing seperate special things for her kids. Hardly the case. Doing something great for her 1st born (who BTW most likely has had a hard experince since becoming a big sister and sounds like she is adjusting like a pro.) She has every plan to do something for her baby, and even if she doesn't. It is ok. Life isn't always fair and even then fair doesn't always mean equal! :goodvibes

And even if the mother wants to go, what is wrong with that?
 
DisneyPhD said:
She is talking about doing seperate special things for her kids. Life isn't always fair and even then fair doesn't always mean equal! :goodvibes

And even if the mother wants to go, what is wrong with that?

My bad - I must have misinterpreted OP when she referred to DS as a maniac and a freak and said DH dreaded taking him to Disney.

Nothing wrong with the mother wanting to go, just not at the expense of one of her kids.

Just my opinion, which she asked for and I'm entitled to give.
 
Walt Disney had a love affair with steam engines. MK has beautifully restored and maintained "Steamies". If your ds is as much of a Thomas fan as mine; he would love that aspect of MK. Also, Epcot has a train garden near Germany. There are two things that he would love about WDW.

Have you ever been to WDW as a family? In my opinion the first trip should be as a whole family unit. Personally, I could only entertain the thought of separated trips if I had been quite a few times as an entire family.

It makes me sad to think of leaving him behind. :(
 


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