Considering only taking one child

[wdwfamilyinIL]

IMO I would never leave one of my children behind. We have had a lot of issue regarding one child being like more than another in our family, and I would never put my children in that position. I too have the Thomas "freak", but he also thinks he is the next Buzz so its a little different. But my 2 year old is into everything and anything, and can be the most difficult. I still will have all three boys with me when we go in June. I don't think the day out with Thomas even comes close to Disney. IMO to leave the son behind almost looks like he is getting the short end of the stick!

 

[bkreitzel]

Why don't you all go ... and split up while there? You do one on one w/ the princess fanatic and your husband do one on one w/ your son? They could focus on things HE would like and hang out by the pool and playground if that is what he needs...but it would still be a FAMILY trip and NOBODY would feel guilty (you) or left out ( the boys!). We are going in March ... and leaving daddy and little sister at the hotel while we do a princess tea party ... they will have a blast swimming, etc ... and we will save a boat load of frustration and money by splitting up.

 

[lovesdumbo]

When I was 6 months pregnant with baby #3 in Oct 2002 I took my oldest DD(3 1/2 at the time) with a friend and left my active DS(21 months) home with non Disney loving DH. My DH does not travel well and I just wasn't up for chasing DS while 6 months pregnant. I figured it would be years before we would all go as a family and I didn't want my oldest to have to wait til she was 7 to go to Disney. I'm really glad she got to go at such a magical age.

I somehow convinced DH to take a family trip to Disney for my DS's 3rd birthday in Jan 2004 so he'd be free. I also took my friend to help out because like I said my DH doesn't really love Disney and doesn't travel well at all. We had a really nice family vacation and decided we would return for baby's 3rd birthday but we didn't really like traveling in Jan so we decided we'd go Oct 05. Then I had the brilliant idea to purchase AP's and go as a family in Oct 04 and Oct 05. I wanted a few days with my oldest DD so I took her 2 nights early in Oct 05 and DH, DS, youngest DD and my friend came together 2 days later. After I booked air tickets for that Oct 05 trip I was begining to feel a bit guilty. I also took my oldest to Nantucket for a night alone. So on a whim I checked air fare. When I found RT non stop air for $115 I booked a trip in Aug 05 with just my DS. We already had AP's, got AP rate at ASMo and I have to say we had a GREAT trip.

I am planning a trip with just me and 2 adult friends to celebrate my birthday May 1 to 4. I will be home to celebrate my actual birthday with my family. I will be telling the children I have to go away for business. I do feel a bit guilty but I also know that I do deserve a break. I do plan to take the whole family again in Aug and so I will purchase another AP.

Since I already have the AP for me....I decided to take my oldest DD for her birthday May 19 to 23. I had considered taking my DS too as I could easily handle 7 & 5 year olds BUT...I really want that special one on one time with my DD. I do tend to expect more from her since she's the oldest and the other 2 children do tend to get more of my attention. I am really looking forward to this time with her. Also my DD is into the thrill rides and DS is not and I don't think I could leave just the 3 year old at home. I also plan to take just DS for another special trip with him in Oct as he loves MNSSHP. I will also take my youngest sometime before my AP's expire.

I really enjoy the family trips. I think it is important for my children to have special shared memories of our family vacations. But I also like the special memories I have of the one on one trips with my children.

I hope I can continue to find reasonable air fare so that I can continue to do both type of trips. And yes I do want to go to Disney multiple times/year. I actually suggested my DH take DD for her birthday as he's a horticulturalist and I think they would love the Flower Fest together but he said "travel by myself?, I wouldn't know how to check into the hotel." I think DD will have a better time with me. DH wouldn't be able to relax if he had to do it all without me there.

 

[lovesdumbo]

IMO We have had a lot of issue regarding one child being like more than another in our family

Have you seen the children's book "I love you the purplest?" It's a great story about 2 boys going fishing late in the day with their mom. "mom who's worm's are the best?, who rows the best,...." It is a great book about how she loves them both even though they are different.

 

[Dallas_Lady]

Having read your reasoning and explanations, I would do it. Sometimes the "good" child gets overlooked if you have another child that is high needs. I agree with the poster who said that not everything is 100% fair. Different people have different needs and they are not always met in the same ways. This will be a great way for you to spend time making DD feel special and DS will get to do what he likes in the controlled environment that he needs.

 

[cruiserkaren]

Wow! I wasn't expecting so many pasionate replies.

First, my son is a wild child but totally normal. He is not a bad child by any means. He does not adjust well to new environments. He hates changes to his routines. He did excellent when we went to Thomas last year but still wouldn't sleep except in the car. His sister was a trooper but Thomas is not her thing.

DH takes DS to watch the Steelers practice. DD doesn't go. DD doesn't care! DH has season tickets and DS will eventually go to the games with him. DD probably never will, it'll be her choice but I have my doubts.

We love our children all the time. I do feel guilty leaving him. But DD talks disney 24/7 and princesses 24/7. DS talks Thomas and Football Steelers 24/7. He has never mentioned Disney. The only character he has not been scared of was Sir Top Hat.

Bottom line is he is just not ready for Disney. He will be but not now. I don't want my DD to miss out. We were supposed to do a family trip last year to Disney but decided no since DS couldn't handle it. I know we can't take him this year either.

I travel for my job and will be in Orlando 2X this spring. I'm not using DD as an excuse as someone suggested. This trip will be 100% focused on her. She deserves it. She is an excellent child and gets a lot less attention than I'd like to give her because her brother takes a lot of time and attention.

We will take another trip to Disney. I don't have an exact trip yet but we will go. DH and I have enjoyed Disney in the past before kids and always said we would take them when they were ready. God bless the moms that can run after 5 kids at once! But its not the way I envision our family vacations.

Thanks to those that responded with non judgemental opinions.

After reading this I say go. Have a great time. Both kids are getting what they enjoy the most. It's going to be a short trip, it's not like you two will packing up for 2 weeks at WDW! Those moments you share with your DD will be priceless. When she is 16 and running out the door to the car, you'll cherish your princess memories with her. Enjoy it while you can. JMO!

 

[Tinker74]

I say defo go!!!!!
Each child should be treated as an individual....your dd will always remember the one on one time with her mom!!

I took my dd to disneyland paris for her 5th birthday....my ds 13 stayed home with dad.
My ds went to Lapland with dad with dad aged 8to see santa....It is a very special memory for him. Me and dd stayed home...she was a baby at the time.

And Ds has just returned from a trip to china with dad...me and dd stayed home.

I must say we also take one trip a yr together as a family...but we also try to give each child individual attention.

Edited to add......dd is going to laplland this christmas with dad...she is now 6 and ready...and me and ds will have a special outing together whilst at home.

If I asked my kids ...if they felt they were missing out not always going as a big family...they would say no way....What child in the world wouldn't want one on one time with a parent??
It makes them feel special...

Your Ds is getting this special time with his dad...that will be a special memory for him>

 

[misspickle]

have to say thats cruel u can't take one child and not the other but on the other hand if u live close by to disney then its another story because you can go there often unlike some of us brits its a life time holiday !!

but at the end of the day its you that has to live with it .

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Honestly I think you should do whatever YOU think is best but here is my take on it. My oldest ds is 3 and whether we went to Disney or stayed at the holiday inn down the road- if he wasn't included he would never forget it. That is just how he is. I definetly think that each child deserves alone time ( i have 3 children 3,2 and 4 months) but for us it's usually something simple like having lunch together while the other 2 are sleeping or getting to come to the store with me or dh alone etc. Also- I know that if we left someone at home the other kids would be asking for them the whole trip. They are very close. I agree with the poster who said that maybe you could all go and dh could take ds on the trains at disney and maybe you could do a princess tea with your dd. Both would be equally as special and nobody would miss out- especially you- because you would get to see both of them enjoy disney!

 

[MAKmom]

DO IT! I went with dd 1 and 3 my other dd's 6 and 11 stayed home with DH . I would have loved to have taken them howver they had school and I went with My dad who is 70 and I had a great time and wonderful memories.
You can sugest to dh that he do something with your son. I do not know where you live how about Sesame Place in Pa? You will have a great time
My kids had a great time with Dh while I was gone.

What did DD6 & DD 11 think? My kids would never get over that.

 

[MAKmom]

Yes, I'd do it in a heartbeat!!!!! I'm all for parents making decisions based on the needs of the child at the time. For example, my two daughters have different spring breaks ths year. Is it "fair" that DD12 gets to go to WDW for a week while her sister, DD17, gets to stay at home and go to school? Maybe not, but why should DD12 be penalized for a school scheduling conflict? And I think that extends to children's needs at various ages, too. Why shouldn't you and DD have a calm, relaxed fun trip without DS? You said you'd have many Disney trips in the future - why make yourself crazy over this one when you have a great solution??? DS loves to stay with Poppa, you want a peaceful trip in order to focus on DD, your husband seems in favor of it - what's not to love? Go and have a great time!!!!!

The other side of the coin is down the road a ways. Same sisters, different scenario - younger DD will be away at camp this summer during the same time I had offered older sister a trip as a graduation present. The two times are the same - either DD12 will have to give up camp or DD17 will have to miss HER trip, in order for me to make it "equal". So I'm not ging to - each child is different and occasionally one will get something the other didn't. It will all work out in the end. If DD12 misses some things now, she'll "catch up" when she's older and she's the only one left at home.

Have a happy trip, whatever you decide!!!

How upset is DD17?

 

[Tinker74]

Iam sure her dd17 is quite happy for her sister.
I can't beleive some people think its cruel???
But every is entitled to their own opinion, I guess.
I know that my son 13 was delighted for his little sis going to disneyland paris.
He loved looking at the photos when we got home.
What kind of selfish child wouldn't be happy for their sibling???IMHO.
Of course a younger child would not be mature enough to perhaps just feel happy for their sibling. But a younger child who is only three would also not feel left out being at home with dad, granny and granpa and having a whale of a time.

I would be shocked if a teenager...was not happy for their younger sibling to have some quality time .

 

[MAKmom]

 

[DVCLiz]

How upset is DD17?

DD17 is THRILLED because a) she was offered a trip to WDW for HER Spring break and turned it down. She is going to rent a condo at the beach with three of her friends for spring break, and she is so delighted that I am letting her do it, that she couldn't care less about WDW, or about where DD12 and I go. I should say that we do belong to DVC and have and will have many, many trips to WDW, so we are not in the once-in-a lifetime trip category. And b)DD17 will get to go to London and Paris this summer with me while DD12 is at camp, so she knows she is getting a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that her younger sister will have to wait her turn for. She has also had two school trips (to Chile and Uganda) over the last four years, so complaining about missing a Disney trip would be the last thing on her mind. She's just appreciative of the trips she HAS been able to take. Thankfully, neither of mine are big "that's not fair"-ers!! She IS having fun helping us plan our trip, however, and has lots of good suggestions for DD12.

To each in their time, I guess that is my philosophy. If the decision is made with care and thought, which of course the OP is doing, I see nothing wrong and in fact think she has made a wise decision.

Just my two cents!!!

 

[cruiserkaren]

Iam sure her dd17 is quite happy for her sister.
I can't beleive some people think its cruel???
But every is entitled to their own opinion, I guess.
I know that my son 13 was delighted for his little sis going to disneyland paris.
He loved looking at the photos when we got home.
What kind of selfish child wouldn't be happy for their sibling???IMHO.
Of course a younger child would not be mature enough to perhaps just feel happy for their sibling. But a younger child who is only three would also not feel left out being at home with dad, granny and granpa and having a whale of a time.

I would be shocked if a teenager...was not happy for their younger sibling to have some quality time .

We're taking my 6 year old cousin to WDW next week and her 16 year old sister is staying home. Trust me, the 16 year old is thru the roof happy about not having to deal with her little sister for a week! It's a welcomed break. And no I don't think that means my 16 year old cousin loves her little sis any less. She would be 'mortified' to have to tell her friends she is spending a week in disney (those were her words).

 

[Tinker74]

DD17 is THRILLED because a) she was offered a trip to WDW for HER Spring break and turned it down. She is going to rent a condo at the beach with three of her friends for spring break, and she is so delighted that I am letting her do it, that she couldn't care less about WDW, or about where DD12 and I go. I should say that we do belong to DVC and have and will have many, many trips to WDW, so we are not in the once-in-a lifetime trip category. And b)DD17 will get to go to London and Paris this summer with me while DD12 is at camp, so she knows she is getting a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that her younger sister will have to wait her turn for. She has also had two school trips (to Chile and Uganda) over the last four years, so complaining about missing a Disney trip would be the last thing on her mind. She's just appreciative of the trips she HAS been able to take. Thankfully, neither of mine are big "that's not fair"-ers!! She IS having fun helping us plan our trip, however, and has lots of good suggestions for DD12.

To each in their time, I guess that is my philosophy. If the decision is made with care and thought, which of course the OP is doing, I see nothing wrong and in fact think she has made a wise decision.

Just my two cents!!!

I totally agree with you.
Sounds like you have raised a lovely daughter. I no what you mean neither of my two are big "thats not fairers" either!

 

[DVCLiz]

I totally agree with you.
Sounds like you have raised a lovely daughter. I no what you mean neither of my two are big "thats not fairers" either!

Thank you - I DO have a lovely daughter, or at least I think so!!!

Oh, and just to add in another piece - DD17 knows her "trips on Mom" days are numbered, as she will probably not be able to go with us on many family trips anymore, at least after the next couple of college years. Why? Because she will soon be learning the joys of getting a J O B - and starting to pay for her own travel!!!!

 

[Tinker*Shell*Bell]

I say: Go and have a great time! Leave all your guilt at home and enjoy a special trip with your daughter. I'm sure you'll take your son if and when he's ready to handle the experience. If I could not bring my baby to the park this year I would do the same thing in a heartbeat, but dh decided he wants to go so we're all going.

My children often take special trips without all of them going and because they understand that no one gets "more" they love the individual time.

Last summer ds12 went to Boy Scout camp while ds11 and ds5 went to 3 amusement parks in upstate NH with the grandparents. I had 4 days on 1on1 with dd6mo. (age then) We all "won." No one came home sad and no one felt cheated.

I look forward to the day when dd1 is old enough for a solo to Disney. Her grandmother and I are already "planning" that one for when she is 6. No one will be upset about not going as they will already have had their trips and they will know that more group family trips are coming in the future.

Have a great trip!!!

 

[nliedel]

You know one of my boys (adopted) has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. He took a long time to be ready for Disney but my oldest was ready years ago. It would not have been fair to my oldest to make him wait for Steven to be ready. We take them as they are ready and I see nothing wrong with that.

 

[CEDmom]

I would definitely go if I were you. Your 3 yo isn't going to know what WDW is unless someone tells him. At that age he has no concept of it being better than a day with Grandma making cookies.

We took our DD to WDW for the 1st time at 2 1/2. Her favorite things were the hotel pool and Goofy juggling in the window of the DTD Christmas shop. She really didn't care about the parks.

At 5 your DD is at an age to really enjoy so much that WDW has to offer. Your DS will have a great time with Grandma. With both kids happy what more could you ask for.