Considering only taking one child

[MAKmom]

DD17 is THRILLED because a) she was offered a trip to WDW for HER Spring break and turned it down. She is going to rent a condo at the beach with three of her friends for spring break, and she is so delighted that I am letting her do it, that she couldn't care less about WDW, or about where DD12 and I go. I should say that we do belong to DVC and have and will have many, many trips to WDW, so we are not in the once-in-a lifetime trip category. And b)DD17 will get to go to London and Paris this summer with me while DD12 is at camp, so she knows she is getting a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that her younger sister will have to wait her turn for. She has also had two school trips (to Chile and Uganda) over the last four years, so complaining about missing a Disney trip would be the last thing on her mind. She's just appreciative of the trips she HAS been able to take. Thankfully, neither of mine are big "that's not fair"-ers!! She IS having fun helping us plan our trip, however, and has lots of good suggestions for DD12.

To each in their time, I guess that is my philosophy. If the decision is made with care and thought, which of course the OP is doing, I see nothing wrong and in fact think she has made a wise decision.

Just my two cents!!!

I can see why by the above post why she would not be upset. Your first post made me wonder how you were avoiding major Drama. I get the " You love her more song EVERYDAY. Its getting really old.

 

[DVCLiz]

I can see why by the above post why she would not be upset. Your first post made me wonder how you were avoiding major Drama. I get the " You love her more song EVERYDAY. Its getting really old.

I solved that problem a long time ago by saying to my daughter, "You know, you're right, I really do love her a lot more than I love you. Don't tell anyone, OK?" She figured out pretty quickly after that that I wasn't going to fall for those kinds of statements!!!!! We then had a talk about what was bothering her (can't remember now!!!) and then I told her all the stuff you'd expect - she was the only oldest daughter I would ever have, how excited I had been the day ifound out I was pregnant, what happened the day she was born, etc. I said, "You know, As long as you get what you need, I hope you'll be happy when your sister does, too. You may not always get things at the same time, but I hope you'll figure out that we're on the same side here, and I would never do anything to make you sad or angry, unless I had a good reason. And if that happens, we can always talk about it so you can understand." That seemed to work pretty well after a certain age - but when they are little you just have to grin and bear it (and make a joke if you think they can appreciate it!)

 

[belle&beast]

Sorry, I didn't have time to read everything, so I hope I don't repeat someone else. It sounds like you already have feelings of guilt and you might not enjoy your vacation as much. My cousin and her husband left their then 5 month old to take her older children to Disney. He is now 3 and asked her just the other day why she left him with his grandma. Your son will be old enough to know what he is missing. I have a DS2 and DD4. My DD has always been less of a challenge than her very active and busy little brother. We went to WDW last month and he was an angel because we could keep him very busy all week. Just make sure you make a choice that will allow you to enjoy the magic.

 

[amburger]

I say go for it! I think it'd be fun for just the two girls to do some bonding. I think it's important for a girl (even a young girl) to have some alone time with mom and this would be perfect! Hope all goes well with whatever decision you make.

 

[MAKmom]

I solved that problem a long time ago by saying to my daughter, "You know, you're right, I really do love her a lot more than I love you. Don't tell anyone, OK?" She figured out pretty quickly after that that I wasn't going to fall for those kinds of statements!!!!! We then had a talk about what was bothering her (can't remember now!!!) and then I told her all the stuff you'd expect - she was the only oldest daughter I would ever have, how excited I had been the day ifound out I was pregnant, what happened the day she was born, etc. I said, "You know, As long as you get what you need, I hope you'll be happy when your sister does, too. You may not always get things at the same time, but I hope you'll figure out that we're on the same side here, and I would never do anything to make you sad or angry, unless I had a good reason. And if that happens, we can always talk about it so you can understand." That seemed to work pretty well after a certain age - but when they are little you just have to grin and bear it (and make a joke if you think they can appreciate it!)

I have DD18 DD11 DD9. DD18 never any YLHM statements it the DD11 & DD9.
I have said your right & we talk. We really talk. It's alway in temper but shes starting puberty. They are fighting so much its really getting to me. I will admit I am a pushover. . It's not things they use the YLHM its how I handle the conflicts. Sometimes I'm like what ever its so petty the fights.

OP: I don't mean to Hijack your thread

 

[DVCLiz]

I have DD18 DD11 DD9. DD18 never any YLHM statements it the DD11 & DD9.
I have said your right & we talk. We really talk. It's alway in temper but shes starting puberty. They are fighting so much its really getting to me. I will admit I am a pushover. . It's not things they use the YLHM its how I handle the conflicts. Sometimes I'm like what ever its so petty the fights.

OP: I don't mean to Hijack your thread

Oooh, 9 and 11 are hard ages, aren't they???? Just remember how quickly your DD18 grew up, and hang in there!!!!

 

[disneymom3]

Well, can you stand one more opinion. I think this thread clearly shows that once again we each have to do what works best for our own families. When DD was 5 almost 6 we had a 2 yo and an 8 month old at home. (DSs) I found a killer airfare for $99RT to Orlando and managed to convince DH that DD and I should take a budget trip just us two and get our APs we were buying in Dec just a bit early. DD and I went and left all the boys at home. We had a really nice trip and it was sooo easy. DSs were pretty much too young at the time to know what they are missing, but now at 6 and 4.5 they know that DD and I went on a trip without them a few years ago. They really don't care. DS6 asked once why he didn't go on that trip and I said, "Well, you were little then." Okay, no problem.

Do what works for you, but my vote is go for it!

 

[littleteapot]

I have four children and getting one on one time is even harder for us. Recently my dd (5) went on our first trip alone, we went to visit my best friend in New York. My sons were jealous my daughter got to fly, but the they had a great time camping with dad. We made some memories for a lifetime, and it really did me good to be able to concentrate on my daughter.

I don't think your son will "hate you", as long as he makes it to Disney eventually. My boys would have loved a Thomas trip with their PapPap!

A few months ago a nice man at the Butterfly museum stopped to talk to dh and I. He said it was so nice to see our family out together, he said he had 5 children. He felt like he needed to tell us that he regretted raising his children with a "pack" mentality. He wished he knew his children better as individuals. A complete stranger wanted to encourage us to get one on one time, dh and I are really trying to take it to heart.

Be Blessed!

 

[nliedel]

I have a date with each of my boys once a week on Saturday. On months there are 5 Saturdays I just get out alone.

 

[Drewandwendi]

I say go for it! We are taking DD7 this trip and not taking DD13. Of course DD13 doesn't want to go, but we are still going.

Someone I know took her DD to WDW this week. She left DS3 home, which I initially thought was horrible, BUT she is also leaving her DS1.5 home. She just wants some one on one time with her DD5. Her DH is also going and the 2 babies are staying with grandparents. When someone else told me what she was doing, I about croaked. When she told me what she was doing, it made perfect sense. What it all comes down to is doing what you think is best to get the most out of your time with your kids. DS will love his Thomas day and will probably cherish that as much as he would a long, tiring trip to WDW that he may not remember anyway. I dont remember our trips to WDW from my childhood, but I DO remember the time I went with my parents when I was a senior in high school! All my siblings were out of the house and it was just "us". It was a fabulous trip that I will always remember.

Go and have a fabulous time!!

 

[mlwear]

You have so many replies at this point, that I don't know if one more could possibly make a difference, but I'll give it a go.

If this is your first DW trip, I think you should go as a family. Young children do understand far more than we give them credit for and DW is a magical place. Last summer was our first family trip ). My oldest son was 10 and my youngest was 7. The trip was in August and both still haven't stopped talking about it! We are planning another trip this year. I wish we would have taken them when they were younger, BUT (this is where I am getting to your situation) younger son is autistic and likely has a greater version of the can't stand routine change, running around, hard to be managed, along with much else than you experience with your DS. We didn't think he could handle it. At age 7, developmentally he is about a 4 year old. His whole demeanor changed drastically there. He was so incredibly happy that it brings tears to my eyes to think about it as he rarely has much emotion. (Great, my mascara is running now.) I would not give up that memory for anything in the world. I hope our return trip is as joyous and not just an attempt to replicate the first experience, but I digress. Actually, I don't, I think just seeing the castle and other sites for the FIRST time as a family can never be replaced. I just think you may be missing out on a great opportunity to have a wonderful family experience if you leave him out.

If this isn't your first trip, then I can understand the exception.

Good luck with your decision.

BTW, with two boys, I wish I had a child who loved (or even liked) princesses --sigh-- Maybe a niece someday.

 

[Crazy4Disney72]

I say go for it! I don't think there's a thing wrong with doing special things separately with each child. In about 3 weeks I will be taking my dd to WDW for her 6th birthday and leaving dh and her older brothers behind. I've done this before, I took my dd when she was 3 without the boys because they were in school and my friend needed me to drive down with her because she didn't want to drive down alone and she needed to be in FL for a family event and we decided to add a couple Disney days to the trip! In January I took my 8yr old ds to Disneyland just the two of us, and last year I took my 12yr old ds to Disneyland just the two of us. I also took my oldest son to the beach just the two of us for his 10th birthday, and I plan to do the same with the other two. We've also all been as a family to WDW several times (and are planning our first whole family trip to DL for 6/07) and I'm sure will go as a family several more times, as I'm sure I'll plan more individual trips with the kids in the future. We love our family time, but it's great to be able to focus on just one child at a time, for that child to get to have Mom all to him/herself. My boys are fine with just their little sister going this trip, they know it's 'her' trip and they've had theirs and will likely have their own trips again, they are happy for her and are helping her count down the days!

I would say if you think WDW is kind of a once in a lifetime or at least once during your kids' childhoods trip, then go as a family, but if you are pretty sure you will go again, then I don't see a thing wrong with taking just your daughter this trip and focusing on the things that she enjoys that her brother would not enjoy, like princesses! Have a great time!!!

 

[zookeeper]

DH and I took all 5 of our kids (DS8,DS7,DD5,DS3 and DS9months) last Sept. for a big family trip. It was important to me that we all be together as a family for our first Disney trip. It was my first time too. That being said....DH and I agreed that bringing the kids in smaller groups would probably make for a really good time,especially for me since DH isn't really in a hurry to return anytime soon (I know,I know, don't even get me started on that one!).
We've already discussed it with the older boys and made it clear that if I were to take them back on a trip without the other kids than they have to be OK with me taking the others without them at some point. Of course they agreed but when the time comes for them to stay at home I'm sure it'll be tough.

LONG STORY SHORT...My vote is definitely in the "GO FOR IT" category!!!

**and to the poster that mentionned that her DH is still upset about a trip to NYC he missed 47 years ago I say...TELL HIM TO GET OVER IT!!! IT WAS 47 YEARS AGO!!!!! **

 

[hddanis]

I would do it in a heartbeat. You're not planning a "family" vacation, but a mother daughter outing..and then a father Son outing. You know your children better than anyone else and if you don't think your son could handle it then why try? Do you really want to be stressed out the entire time?

If I could have taken my girls and left my DH and DS home, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Unfortunatly, that didn't work for us and we've had to put the trip off until DS could handle all the excitement. I couldn't manage 3 girls alone in WDW.

Go for it, cherish the time with your daughter!

 

[cfrith]

I don't relate with all the people who say they don't want to chase their toddlers around. They are our babies and having fun!!! We have taken our girls when they were 2 and 2.5 and we had a great time. If you have an older child too you can take turns with dh going on the big rides with that child. I am just not able to leave my kids while I go on a vacation- they will both always be with me! But that's just the way I am!

 

[homemaker]

I don't think I would leave any of my children at home. I have 4 DS and DH and I take them all with us to WDW. We do local individual trips so they get time alone with each of us.

You could take both children and still do seperate activities. You and DD can get the princess fix while DH and DS do PoC.

What ever you decide, have a great time.

 

[nliedel]

I just got a post in my inbox from a Mom who says she does not relate to people who don't want to chase their toddlers. I love my toddlers, I am 42 and have two of them. I have never been more tired in my whole life! They, with their brothers and father are my whole world. I would rather have my head cut off than take they both to Disney World. Bless em but they are wonderful to chase in confined spaces only!

 

[DisneyPhD]

I just got a post in my inbox from a Mom who says she does not relate to people who don't want to chase their toddlers. I love my toddlers, I am 42 and have two of them. I have never been more tired in my whole life! They, with their brothers and father are my whole world. I would rather have my head cut off than take they both to Disney World. Bless em but they are wonderful to chase in confined spaces only!

I have chased my tolders around WDW, I have taken them as babies. Heck my oldest has been 7 times (8 if you count vero beach trip) before she turned 5 years old, and the 18 month old has 3 been times. If I have my way they will both go again (and to vero beach) in a few months. Having said that, even as tolders and they traveled well and handeled situations like WDW very well. Let's say we have a 3rd child and his little boy (or girl) ends up more like the OP's son, I might consider it.

However I don't think that is the point. Every family, every situation and every child is different. What might be right at one age, might not be another. This is not about loving one child more, not wanting to be with your kids (and even if that was the case, many parents take trips with out their kids.) or playing favorites.

 

[U2_rocks]

Well I can't relate to people who DO chase their toddlers around a place like WDW! Not saying there's anything wrong with doing it if you're prepared for it - just that I can't relate to it! WDW is not a necessity like the mall or grocery store, or a nice place to unwind like the park. It's a hugely crowded place that is overwhelming even to me! I have never had any desire to take a toddler there. That's why our kids are going when the youngest is 4, which will be 2007.

If I had the chance to take one child there at a low cost before then, without DH, I would seriously consider it. DH is the father of the other two who are left behind, he is more than capable of looking after them while I'm away. In fact, I have traveled many times on my own and left all 3 with him, and he is a great dad! He has more patience than I do. Going somewhere and leaving kids with THEIR OWN father is perfectly fine - no-one will ever convince me that there is anything wrong with a man taking care of his own kids. Therefore, if this family plans to have a trip all together sometime in the near-ish future, and the opportunity has arisen for the mom and DD to do WDW while the DS and his dad do something THEY will enjoy, I can't for the life of me see anything wrong with that. It may not be the decision that others would make, but there is nothing WRONG if someone makes that decision for themselves.

OP: if you truly feel that your DS would be happy with what's planned for him while you and DD are at WDW, and you know that you'll all be going together soon enough, then go ahead and do it without guilt!

 

[taximomfor4]

I'm in a similar situation now. I have 4 kids -- 12, 7, 6, 3. My dd12, we really scrimped and I took her on a mom-dd WDW trip for her 8th birthday. It's a long story=, but her dad was supposed to take her and did something with all the money instead, that involved a new wife (a 21 yr old). DD was crushed, some of that WDW savings had been her money. So my dh and I threw together as much $ as we could, which was just enough for oldest dd and I to do a quick, budget trip. Then we saved and took the whole family 3 yrs later (last year).

Fast forward. DD7 was looking at picture albums yesterday, and saw the WDW pix of oldest dd. She asked me "Which birthday did Katie get the Disney trip with you for a gift?" I told her, she skipped away and played. no more questions, or anything. But today, she told me that she chose...they get to pick either a big party or a big present. She says, "I choose a big present." With a giant grin. Ummmm, is she expecting a solo trip now too? We might have started a new tradition, in our family. Funny thing is, my 3yo (was 2 1/2 on our trip) was the easiest, most fully enthralled kid of all of them last year. So I am asking myself now, if I should be giving each kid a solo trip for their 8th birthday (or when feasible).

My answer, in a very rambling way, is that I would do the solo trip but would expect later to do one for your ds too. It would be a different trip, with different focus, and maybe he won't be ready at 5, but eventually he will.

Beth