Confessions of a Disboard Dropout...New chapter 3/14

[bankr63]

What I find most intriguing is that Laura has 25,439 e-mails waiting...

No WONDER she gets behind on her TR's!! DISBoard Dropout maybe, e-mail junkie? Probably!

 

[laura74]

Ha! Good thing I didn't have any embarrassing bookmarks there!

I guess I'm pretty popular with all that email, Montague!

Sorry for my absence this week. I was slammed at work. Will try to get a chapter done tomorrow but the weekend looks a little busy.

Ponzi, thanks for the funny breakdown!!!!

 

[Thumper_Man]

Sorry for my absence this week. I was slammed at work. Will try to get a chapter done tomorrow but the weekend looks a little busy.

That's ok. I was absent for the same reason. Good thing is, I was able to catch up.

 

[laura74]

“Waaaaaa wa wa wa wa. Wa wa waaaaa wa waaaa wa waaaaa,” whines the unintelligible Charlie Brown teacher voice over the airport PA.

“What did she say, Squid”
He shrugs.
“How are we supposed to know when to board? What do we do?” I panic.

“Waaaaaa wa wa wa wa. Wa wa waaaaa wa waaaa wa waaaaa,” the disembodied, staticky voice repeats.

I see everyone looks just as confused as I do. The entire waiting area gets in line. Eventually we are let outside and the attendant motions to a ramp leading up to the plane. WE ARE OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE. GETTING ON A PLANE. This is crazy, third world stuff here. (Or Canadian.)



We find our seats in the 4th row in a section as close to first class as Frontier gets. We get a little more leg room for our “classic fare” upgrade. I see the queen bee in the first row.

“Ladies and gentleman,” our captain drawls. Why do all pilots speak with a twang? Are they from Chicago?

“We had some minor maintenance work to do this morning so we’re just a bit behind schedule.”

Why do they tell us this? I don’t want to hear about repair work before takeoff!

“We’ll try to make up that time for you though. Enjoy the flight.”

And now he’s telling me he’s going to make the plane go even faster??

Confession #9: I hate flying.

I dig my nails into Mr. Squid’s leg until we’re safely in the air. But I do it subtly so Monkston won’t see. On her side, my hand’s all happy go lucky, isn’t flying fun? Whee!

Monkston turns her baby blues to her dad and points at the TV.

“Ugh, how much is THAT?”

He’s not happy, but he takes out his magic band… no, wait. Not there yet. He takes out his credit card and swipes. The first of many expensive swipes this week.

The flight is smooth and 2 hours later we land and, yay, we are at the front of the plane. I only have to stand with my head twisted under the carryon compartment for a short time.

After we take our first monorail ride, Monkston wants to go shopping.



Here’s her dad trying to get in the picture.



“Monkston, we are going to have endless shopping opportunities when we get to the resort. You sure you want to waste time here?”

“Mooooommmmmm….”

And then I remember that we are going to have to wait for our bags anyway, so it actually makes sense to waste a little time here.

We poke around the store a bit and I hear a panicked cry from Monkston.

“Oh no!”
“What’s the matter?”
“I forgot all my pins at home!”

She leaves the store so that no one can see that she’s tearing up.

I say to Squid that maybe we can get our neighbor to fed ex them to the resort.
“Maybe.”

I can tell he’s not keen on that idea.

We make our way to baggage claim, one of us very glumly.

And then Mr. Squid has an idea. An idea so sensible that I’m angry I didn’t think of it first.

“Why don’t we call Sheena and Druid and see if they can pick them up to bring with them tomorrow? I’ll give them the garage opener code.”

“Brilliant! Hopefully they’ll have time. Although I’m sure they would make time even if it’s inconvenient. I hope it’s not too big a pain for them… You call.”

Confession #10: I’m a coward.

Monkston begs us to let her get the bags from the carousel. I watch her struggle under the great weight of my suitcase but she’s determined to do it herself. I hope she doesn’t hurt herself.

I wish she showed the same independence for things like unloading the dishwasher and doing laundry.

We make our way to Magical Express and after several attempts to call Druid, Squid gets through and of course they will get the pins. Day saved!

There’s a new video on the bus and I watch an interview with one of the artists who draws the characters for signs and marketing materials. He drew the characters for the welcome arch. I wish I could interview the designer in charge of some of the typography I see in the World and ask him what the heck was he thinking? I spotted Brush Script in use, buddy! Brush Script!

Our stop at the Boardwalk is first. There is a cast member waiting with an iPad and asks for our name. “Squid family!” I say.

“Welcome home! Follow me.”



This is new.

She leads us through the lobby to a sofa and tells us to wait there while she gets our welcome package.

We don’t have to go to the check-in desk?? I feel so special. Do they do this for everyone? They still have a check-in desk. I see it over there.

We sit and wait surrounded by our obnoxious lime green luggage.



I love the look on Squid’s face in this one.



She comes back, gives us our welcome packet and tells us we’ll get a text when our room is ready.

When I checked in online, I requested upper floor, close to lobby. I also checked that we would rather wait for our request than take whatever is available upon arrival. I’m willing to wait. On our last stay at the Boardwalk our room was approximately 1.2 miles from the lobby. I hoped to get a room .6 miles away.

We leave our bags with the bellman and drag our carry-on out to the boardwalk to look for food.



I suggest we go to the bakery and sit outside. We drag the carry-on over. It’s a beautiful day, but hot! Squid doesn’t like the look of this menu so we walk over to Kouzzina. Nope. Too expensive. ESPN Club? Nope. Too loud. Big River Grille? Nope. Nothing grabs him.

“How about we change into our suits and get something at the pool bar?”

We drag the carryon back to the pool and find three loungers in a great location. Squid and Monkston go over to the bar to get some food while I get our suits and sunscreen out.

They return foodless.

“It’s all pre-made stuff. Let’s go back to the boardwalk,” he says.

Sigh. I put the swimsuits and sunscreen back into the carry-on and we drag it back to the boardwalk.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just get a sandwich or something at the bakery?” I ask.
“Let me look at the menu again.”

Back we go to the bakery. Now Monkston doesn’t see anything SHE wants. The first swipe of our magic bands gets us three very expensive plastic mugs. The one beverage that Monkston likes happens to be the one that has the tricky RFID reader. After several tries and with the help of the bakery cast member, we manage to fill the mug. I think these are supposed to be convenient?

“Why don’t we just go to the hot dog booth then?” This he agrees to. And it’s funny, because usually he says he wants something light. He complains about heavy food. We could have ordered a lovely salad with dried cranberries and goat cheese at the pool.

So what do we have here? Foot long hot dogs, fried ravioli, chicken nuggets, corn dogs…yup. Light lunch.

I watch the guy working in the booth and note that he could really use some efficiency training. I think he may be our old friend Skippy’s brother.
http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=44995117&postcount=185

I order everybody’s food and Mr. Squid says, “A corn dog? I’ve never seen you eat a corn dog in your life!”

Confession #11: I’m a woman of mystery…

And also stupidity. I should have just ordered a salad at the bakery and met them back at the table.

We wait about 20 minutes for our fried food. What is he doing in there???





Finally it arrives and it’s just meh but we wolf it down like savages and head back to the pool.

 

[mmeb144]

I have many photos of my family members looking like Mr. Squid. "Oh, dear God, why are you taking my picture again?" Me, "Because I want to remember this moment." "Must it be every moment?" Me, "YES."

Monkston is growing up. She looks very cute with Mr. Squid's hat on and the refillable mug. Very Disney!

 

[MAGICFOR2]

could be , or maybe she just had her groceries delivered. In chicago, you could do that. I would put todd in the stroller, walk to Gikas Bros. grocery store, buy my stuff, adn they would deliver it! it was a 4 flight walk up so I would tip well.

when hubby dragged me kicking and scraming out of the city, 45 miles Northwest in the boonies, I walked with Todd and had baby Jeremykn the stroller to the Eagles store (we only had one car). after I paid I started to give them my address for delivery. they looked at me like I had a 3rd eye.

me "what do you mean you don't deliver???!! what kind of God forsaken place has my husband dragged me to?" (they held my groceries till nebo got home from work. ) I wil never again be without my own car....

Life in the 'burbs! Being an Air Force wife, I have felt a little culture shock through the years. Actually, coming here to Texas has been a culture shock!

 

[MAGICFOR2]

Yay you have arrived!!! You all look very "I'm on vacation!!!" in your photos. Well, I guess you aren't in them - but we have proof you were there because you were holding the camera

Too funny about the "hot dog trek"

 

[pkondz]

“Waaaaaa wa wa wa wa. Wa wa waaaaa wa waaaa wa waaaaa,” whines the unintelligible Charlie Brown teacher voice over the airport PA.

I started to read that as a crying baby sound.
Then when I read the rest of the line, it all snapped into place.

“How are we supposed to know when to board? What do we do?” I panic.

Follow the herd, Laura. Follow the herd.
Deep breaths now.

Eventually we are let outside and the attendant motions to a ramp leading up to the plane. WE ARE OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE. GETTING ON A PLANE. This is crazy, third world stuff here. (Or Canadian.)

Hah!
You probably wrote that trying to get a rise out of me.
Oh, you have no idea.

For most of the first decade of our marriage, we lived in Northern Manitoba.
(Oh, just Google map it)
And we frequently flew on this plane:

Or sometimes, this one:

And if we were lucky, this one:

We always had to go outside to get on.

Usually, in the snow.

I see the queen bee in the first row.

Of course.

“Ladies and gentleman,” our captain drawls. Why do all pilots speak with a twang? Are they from Chicago?

Yes. All of them.
It's a 'cool' thing for pilots.
They all do that.

Well except for the Koreans.
They're just indecipherable. (Trust me. I know.)

“We had some minor maintenance work to do this morning so we’re just a bit behind schedule.”

Why do they tell us this? I don’t want to hear about repair work before takeoff!

"Not to worry folks. We had some stuff fall off, but we hot glued it back on and it will probably stay on for most of the flight."

“We’ll try to make up that time for you though. Enjoy the flight.”

And now he’s telling me he’s going to make the plane go even faster??

Do you really want to know? If you don't, skip this next part.


Airlines work on razor thin profits.
As a minimum, jet powered aircraft are required to carry enough fuel to fly to the destination, execute an approach and a missed approach and still have enough fuel to fly for an additional 30 minutes.
More fuel equals heavier aircraft equals using more fuel to fly equals more expensive to operate.
Most companies will fly with more than the minimum required, however.
But not much more.
When an aircraft is going to fly from A to B, they develop a flight profile which takes into account various elements such as upper winds and aircraft performance.
They determine exactly how and when the aircraft should climb and descend, the best altitudes (plural) at what times and the optimum cruising speed.
All this wonderful info will allow the company to operate it's aircraft at the lowest possible cost.
However, if a flight is delayed, a whole slew of very bad things occur.
There's a cascade effect. When a flight is delayed, it may cause another connecting flight to be delayed, which causes another, and another, and...
If people miss their flights, or are late, you have angry customers.
You may have to recompense them with food, hotel and/or travel vouchers.
Depending on how busy the airport is, you may not even have a gate to deplane at when you arrive.
So the airplane can definitely go faster. Just burn more fuel. Which costs more money.
But it's usually cheaper than the alternative.

I dig my nails into Mr. Squid’s leg until we’re safely in the air. But I do it subtly so Monkston won’t see. On her side, my hand’s all happy go lucky, isn’t flying fun? Whee!

OMG! You're such a mom!
How much longer do you think it'll be before Monkston figures it out?

Monkston turns her baby blues to her dad and points at the TV.

“Ugh, how much is THAT?”

He’s not happy, but he takes out his magic band… no, wait. Not there yet. He takes out his credit card and swipes. The first of many expensive swipes this week.

You have to pay to watch the TV????
The mind boggles.

The flight is smooth and 2 hours later we land and, yay, we are at the front of the plane. I only have to stand with my head twisted under the carryon compartment for a short time.

Isn't it funny how everyone does that?
After several flights, I finally figured out that I could just sit and relax instead.
And now, I want to stand (albeit with "head twisted") so my back feels better.

Here’s her dad trying to get in the picture.

With the motion blur, he looks like he's wearing a clown shoe.

unless of course, he wears a size 25 shoe... in which case my apologies to him....
and I won't say what else I'm thinking 'cause I'll get in trouble with the moderators.

“Monkston, we are going to have endless shopping opportunities when we get to the resort. You sure you want to waste time here?”

“Mooooommmmmm….”

Oh, no! Not the dreaded "Mooooommmmmm"!
Was it accompanied by the eye roll?

“Oh no!”
“What’s the matter?”
“I forgot all my pins at home!”

"Oh no!" is right!

She leaves the store so that no one can see that she’s tearing up.

Aw. Poor Monkston.
Doesn't that just kill you, as a parent?
You want to move heaven and earth to make it better, don't you?

“Why don’t we call Sheena and Druid and see if they can pick them up to bring with them tomorrow? I’ll give them the garage opener code.”

Mr. Squid saves the day!

Monkston begs us to let her get the bags from the carousel. I watch her struggle under the great weight of my suitcase but she’s determined to do it herself. I hope she doesn’t hurt herself.

Don't be silly.
Who could possibly hurt themselves with a suitcase?


:

I wish she showed the same independence for things like unloading the dishwasher and doing laundry.

We make our way to Magical Express and after several attempts to call Druid, Squid gets through and of course they will get the pins. Day saved!

That's what I said!

I wish I could interview the designer in charge of some of the typography I see in the World and ask him what the heck was he thinking? I spotted Brush Script in use, buddy! Brush Script!

How dare they?!?!

Our stop at the Boardwalk is first. There is a cast member waiting with an iPad and asks for our name. “Squid family!” I say.

“Welcome home! Follow me.”

This is new.

Maybe the CM thought you were the Queen Bee?
No. Wait. She'd be at the Grand Floridian.

On our last stay at the Boardwalk our room was approximately 1.2 miles from the lobby. I hoped to get a room .6 miles away.

Ya know. You're right. .5 miles is just too close for comfort.

And why is it 1/2 mile but .5 miles?
Logically, "miles" is plural and is, at least, two miles.
So shouldn't .5 miles equal one mile?

I'm going to shut up now.

We leave our bags with the bellman and drag our carry-on out to the boardwalk to look for food.

Why? Because it was hungry?

The first swipe of our magic bands gets us three very expensive plastic mugs.

At those prices, I want pewter.
At least.

The one beverage that Monkston likes happens to be the one that has the tricky RFID reader. After several tries and with the help of the bakery cast member, we manage to fill the mug. I think these are supposed to be convenient?

You think wrong.

We could have ordered a lovely salad with dried cranberries and goat cheese at the pool.

But it's pre-made.

So what do we have here? Foot long hot dogs, fried ravioli, chicken nuggets, corn dogs…yup. Light lunch.

Light? No.
Delicious? Yes. (At least it sounds delish. Might not have been.)

I watch the guy working in the booth and note that he could really use some efficiency training. I think he may be our old friend Skippy’s brother.

I remember skippy!

I order everybody’s food and Mr. Squid says, “A corn dog? I’ve never seen you eat a corn dog in your life!”

Confession #11: I’m a woman of mystery…

Ooooohhhh... so mysterious.
"Who is that woman? Look! She's eating... can it be?... It is! It's a corndog!"



I want a corndog, now.

And also stupidity. I should have just ordered a salad at the bakery and met them back at the table.

Amazing how kids can sit like that and be comfortable.
My knees hurt, just looking at her.

Finally it arrives and it’s just meh but we wolf it down like savages and head back to the pool.

Thanks for the chapter, Laura!

 

[bankr63]

I see everyone looks just as confused as I do. The entire waiting area gets in line. Eventually we are let outside and the attendant motions to a ramp leading up to the plane. WE ARE OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE. GETTING ON A PLANE. This is crazy, third world stuff here. (Or Canadian.)

Don't be silly, Laura. THIS is what a Canadian airport looks like:

 

[pkondz]

Don't be silly, Laura. THIS is what a Canadian airport looks like:

You just had to pick a picture.... with an American registered aircraft!

 

[smidgy]

“Ladies and gentleman,” our captain drawls. Why do all pilots speak with a twang? Are they from Chicago?

HARRUMPH!!!! how much did ponzie pay you to write that???








When I checked in online, I requested upper floor, close to lobby. I also checked that we would rather wait for our request than take whatever is available upon arrival. I’m willing to wait.

we almost always wait for the better room. usualy by the pool. ut first we ask around where the room is (which building, if apllicalbe, which floor, etc. if we don't like it, we ask them what else they have. (this is why I don't think I would like the online check in. then, after we get settled by the pool we go over to the area and check out where we think the room might be.. and again, if we would like it.
this last time at boardwalk villas, it was village green 2nd floor. we saw that all the balconies on the 2nd floor in the village gree are recessed. andvery dark. so I went back to check in, and VOILA! they gave us a room on the 5ht floor.. probably a longer wait.. that's fine.. I have a lounger, I have a pool. ....


We drag the carryon back to the pool and find three loungers in a great location. Squid and Monkston go over to the bar to get some food while I get our suits and sunscreen out.

They return foodless.

“It’s all pre-made stuff. Let’s go back to the boardwalk,” he says.

Sigh. I put the swimsuits and sunscreen back into the carry-on and we drag it back to the boardwalk.
never, ever give up good loungers at the pool!! by the way, we saw the Luna pool had some humongous hot dogs! we were going to get one during our 5 days there, but for some reason we never did.!


[/SIZE][/FONT]

so were your loungers still there? or did you vacate them entirely? so the corn dogs were just "meh"? nebo loves corn dogs, but he thought they were too pricey (sheesh, we're in Disney.. did you exepect to pay $1.99? )

 

[laura74]

Yay you have arrived!!! You all look very "I'm on vacation!!!" in your photos. Well, I guess you aren't in them - but we have proof you were there because you were holding the camera

Too funny about the "hot dog trek"

I look just as happy to be on vacation. Is there a better day than arrival day, armed with your welcome packet, and the whole vacation stretched out in front of you?

Hah!
You probably wrote that trying to get a rise out of me.
Oh, you have no idea.

Did it work?

For most of the first decade of our marriage, we lived in Northern Manitoba.
(Oh, just Google map it)
And we frequently flew on this plane:

Or sometimes, this one:

And if we were lucky, this one:

We always had to go outside to get on.

Usually, in the snow.

See? You are a jet setter!

Yes. All of them.
It's a 'cool' thing for pilots.
They all do that.

Well except for the Koreans.
They're just indecipherable. (Trust me. I know.)

I think there’s a story there…

Do you really want to know? If you don't, skip this next part.


Airlines work on razor thin profits.
As a minimum, jet powered aircraft are required to carry enough fuel to fly to the destination, execute an approach and a missed approach and still have enough fuel to fly for an additional 30 minutes.
More fuel equals heavier aircraft equals using more fuel to fly equals more expensive to operate.
Most companies will fly with more than the minimum required, however.
But not much more.
When an aircraft is going to fly from A to B, they develop a flight profile which takes into account various elements such as upper winds and aircraft performance.
They determine exactly how and when the aircraft should climb and descend, the best altitudes (plural) at what times and the optimum cruising speed.
All this wonderful info will allow the company to operate it's aircraft at the lowest possible cost.
However, if a flight is delayed, a whole slew of very bad things occur.
There's a cascade effect. When a flight is delayed, it may cause another connecting flight to be delayed, which causes another, and another, and...
If people miss their flights, or are late, you have angry customers.
You may have to recompense them with food, hotel and/or travel vouchers.
Depending on how busy the airport is, you may not even have a gate to deplane at when you arrive.
So the airplane can definitely go faster. Just burn more fuel. Which costs more money.
But it's usually cheaper than the alternative.

You sure know about a lot of stuff, Ponzi.

OMG! You're such a mom!
How much longer do you think it'll be before Monkston figures it out?

Depends on whether she reads this I guess.

You have to pay to watch the TV????
The mind boggles.

This was a very no frills airline.

With the motion blur, he looks like he's wearing a clown shoe.

How do you know he’s not wearing clown shoes?

unless of course, he wears a size 25 shoe... in which case my apologies to him....
and I won't say what else I'm thinking 'cause I'll get in trouble with the moderators.

LOL

Oh, no! Not the dreaded "Mooooommmmmm"!
Was it accompanied by the eye roll?

That time it was said without sarcasm.

Aw. Poor Monkston.
Doesn't that just kill you, as a parent?
You want to move heaven and earth to make it better, don't you?

Yes. She recently had her feelings hurt and it’s so hard when you can’t fix everything.

Don't be silly.
Who could possibly hurt themselves with a suitcase?


:

No one I can think of….

Ya know. You're right. .5 miles is just too close for comfort.

And why is it 1/2 mile but .5 miles?
Logically, "miles" is plural and is, at least, two miles.
So shouldn't .5 miles equal one mile?

I'm going to shut up now.

That’s going to drive me crazy now.

Why? Because it was hungry?

Ba-da-bum!

But it's pre-made.

I wasn’t the one with the pre-made issues.

Light? No.
Delicious? Yes. (At least it sounds delish. Might not have been.)

Better calories could have been consumed.

Ooooohhhh... so mysterious.
"Who is that woman? Look! She's eating... can it be?... It is! It's a corndog!"



I want a corndog, now.

LOL

Thanks for the chapter, Laura!

Thanks for breakdown, Ponzi!

Don't be silly, Laura. THIS is what a Canadian airport looks like:

I’m sure with a name like Montague you fly first class in large jets.

You just had to pick a picture.... with an American registered aircraft!

How do you even know that? LOL

HARRUMPH!!!! how much did ponzie pay you to write that???

Ha! I bet the guy was also a tea drinker.

we almost always wait for the better room. usualy by the pool. ut first we ask around where the room is (which building, if apllicalbe, which floor, etc. if we don't like it, we ask them what else they have. (this is why I don't think I would like the online check in. then, after we get settled by the pool we go over to the area and check out where we think the room might be.. and again, if we would like it.
this last time at boardwalk villas, it was village green 2nd floor. we saw that all the balconies on the 2nd floor in the village gree are recessed. andvery dark. so I went back to check in, and VOILA! they gave us a room on the 5ht floor.. probably a longer wait.. that's fine.. I have a lounger, I have a pool. ....

There’s an option when you check in online that you will wait for your requests to be met rather than taking first available room. Not sure if they actually listen though.

never, ever give up good loungers at the pool!! by the way, we saw the Luna pool had some humongous hot dogs! we were going to get one during our 5 days there, but for some reason we never did.!

I know! I can’t believe he made me leave them!

so were your loungers still there? or did you vacate them entirely?

Hopefully we will find somewhere to sit in the next chapter.

so the corn dogs were just "meh"? nebo loves corn dogs, but he thought they were too pricey (sheesh, we're in Disney.. did you exepect to pay $1.99? )

Ha! Can you get anything for $1.99 at Disney?

 

[pkondz]

HARRUMPH!!!! how much did ponzie pay you to write that???

Did it work?

Nope.

See? You are a jet setter!

You'll notice that not one of those are 'jets'.

I think there’s a story there…

Oh, there is.
But I can't write it.
It's an aural story, only.

You sure know about a lot of stuff, Ponzi.

'Cause I've been around too long.

How do you know he’s not wearing clown shoes?

I KNEW IT!!!!

You just had to pick a picture.... with an American registered aircraft!

How do you even know that? LOL

It's no secret actually, but if I tell you, then you'll look for it every single time you watch a TV show or movie with a plane in it.

 

[bankr63]

It's no secret actually, but if I tell you, then you'll look for it every single time you watch a TV show or movie with a plane in it.

It's not really that difficult, US registered aircraft always start with N1-N9 with a combo on letters/numbers after. Canadian craft start with C-F or C-G with three letters following. I used to work as a "ramp agent" at the Ottawa airport (last year of HS and first of college), and the one aircraft I worked with most commonly was registered C-GYMX which was a very appropriate registration code.

I'm more impressed that Pkondzi could make it out; man I need to get my eyes checked.

 

[laura74]

Amazingly, our abandoned lounge chairs are still unoccupied! We claim them with our bags and I take a quick photo to send to everybody.

Ha, ha! Look where we are!



Isn’t that pretty? I know I’m probably in the minority, but I like this pool better than Beach Club’s.

GASP!

Now hear me out. We stayed at the Beach Club last year and the pool is very impressive. It’s also very large and you must travel up numerous stairs and over numerous bridges to get from one side to the other. And then when you finally do get to the mug refill station it’s covered in yellow jackets, not the friendly, dancing kind.

The pool has a lot of cool features with a lazy river, sink holes and a sandy bottom. (Make that floor. I don’t want Ponzi to have too much fun.) I just prefer the more intimate pool at Boardwalk. We may end up at Beach Club next year though so Sheena, Druid and TGM can experience it.

Monkston tells me she’s thirsty so we bring our mugs to the bar. Boardwalk doesn’t have a refill station so you have to ask the bartenders for soda. What’s the tip on free?

A rather grumpy looking bartender arrives. I’m sure he hates mug people.

“What can I get for you?”
“We’d like these mugs filled please. Lemonade in this one and Seltzer and lemon in the other.”
“You mean club soda?”
Technically they’re different and the stuff coming out of the fountain is seltzer but ok. I think he’s being a bit of a smart butt.
“Yes, please.”
He looks at the remains of the Diet Coke in my mug and proceeds to fill it without dumping it out.
Um, thanks?

He does hate mug people! I don’t feel so bad about not leaving a tip now.

Confession #12: I did feel a little guilty. I’m a former waitress. But he was kind of a jerk.

Mr. Squid and Monkston go right into the pool but I want to lie down and enjoy the sun for a while. I try not to think of the damage I’m doing to my skin. Aaaah.

The yellow jackets (friendly, dancing kind) have arrived. The guy in the middle is really into his job. He remind me a bit of Rerun from What’s Happening with his pants hiked way up. Those outfits are really ugly and that polyester must be really uncomfortable in this heat.

Next to me I hear…

“John! Nice to see you! Isn’t it lovely here?”
“It is, Judy. Much better than at home.”
“What’s the weather like at home?”
“Well Judy, it was very humid. And it’s unusual for it to be so humid. I hate humidity especially when it’s cool and humid rather than hot and humid. Of course I don’t like hot and humid either. I’m just not one for humidity. Humidity and I are not friends. The fan at home didn’t do anything to help the humidity. It’s not too humid here yet. I’m not looking forward to it getting humid, no siree.”

Well, I just have to sneak a peak at this humidity fearing fellow. He probably has a mop of curly hair like me to be so concerned about it. Let me just turn my head a little and see.

He’s got a lot of hair, all right…just not on his head.

We spend a few hours alternately burning our skin in the sun and freezing our feet in the pool. Aren’t the deluxe pools supposed to be heated?

Mr. Squid decides to put a little pressure on the front desk to get our room. It’s almost 4 and still no text.

He comes back with the map.

“We’re on the same floor as the lobby.”
“Oh good! They put us near the lobby this year. Not exactly upper floor but one out of two requests isn’t bad.”

We collect our bags from bell services and head (sashay, Ponzi?) to the room. It shouldn’t be too long a walk since we requested to be close to the lobby. I follow Mr. Squid down the long hallway. Are we almost there? He turns down another long hallway. Surely we should be almost there! What the what??!! Disney! You keep us waiting all this time and we don’t get any of our requests?

We decide to just stay. We’re too tired to argue and we’re switching to a larger villa in 4 days. We’ll get picky then. At least the view is kind of nice. Our balcony looks out on secluded grass.

I unpack and clean up what exploded in my bag, because something always explodes. I can’t figure out if it’s moisturizer or conditioner but it’s made quite a mess of my toiletry bag.

Confession #13: It’s actually one of three toiletry bags I packed. I know. I have a problem.

I want to see if our annual passes are working on the magic bands. We had so many issues with My Disney Experience before we left that I figure I should check with the concierge before we go to a park. The woman at the desk assures me that everything is in order and we’re all set.

Now I must procure some provisions at the gift shop.

Milk? Check.
Juice? Check.
Donuts? Check.
Doritos requested by Monkson? Check.
Chardonnay requested by me? Check.

Amazingly I remember to show my DVC card for a discount, reduce the grand total by 10% and SWIPE! This magic band is dangerous. Disney employs some evil geniuses.

Monko and I decide to have a Dorito happy hour on the balcony before going to Epcot. Our plans today are pretty loosey-goosey. We had made some fast pass+ reservations but I don’t think we’ll make it in time for any of them. Mr. Squid wants to rest for a while so Monkston and I talk quietly.

“You want to walk around World Showcase?”
“And do what?”
“I don’t know. Watch the entertainment, shop, eat more junk…”
“OK!”

On the Boardwalk I see a couple women walk by with 4 inch heels. I hope they’re going to a wedding and not touring.

“Monkston, take our picture!”



She’s the selfie queen of Instagram lately. She actually has a really good eye for composition and color. It’s amazing what she can do with her iphone camera. My photos never turn out that well.








“Monkston, we need to stop real quick at guest relations to get the dining discount card.”

Both windows are occupied but we are next in line. We should be in and out in no time.

Ten long minutes go by and still these people aren’t finished. What are they doing? What could possibly take that long? Are they planning next year’s vacation at guest relations? (Anyone else find the phrase guest relations funny? Just me? OK.)

Finally we get to the window, I ask for the Tables in Wonderland card and SWIPE, we’re done.

We get through bag check without any judgments about the size and contents of my bag. We walk over to the RFID scanner, I touch Mickey head to Mickey head and ding ding ding! Alarms go off.

“You!”
The cast member is pointing at me!
“You need to go back to guest relations. Your band’s not working.”
“But the woman at concierge said our annual passes are on the bands. I double checked before we left.”
“You have to activate them at guest relations.”

Sigh. Back we go to a longer line. I hope the people in front of us are not as high maintenance as the last batch.

We wait about 15 minutes and approach the same window.

“You again?”
“Yes, hi. I didn’t realize we needed to activate our annual passes. Are you able to activate my husband’s on the computer even though he’s not here?”
“No. He will have to come here and activate it himself.”

Back to bag check. “You again?”
Sigh.

We try our bands again and they work. The swirly blue light turned to green!

I’m pretty sure Epcot is not a recommended day today because it’s a mad house! Luckily, we don’t care about rides at the moment. There are only two more days of the Flower and Garden Festival so we admire the topiaries.

We wander aimlessly and I spot the Refreshment Port. Cronuts! I read they have cronuts here! I’ve been so curious about cronuts since there was such hysteria over them in NYC.

http://nypost.com/2014/05/08/happy-birthday-cronut-a-look-back-at-the-pastrys-first-year/

I’m not sure if a Disney cronut (they call it a croissant donut) is anything like the original but it can’t be bad. We decide to split one without ice cream. We just want the classic unadorned cronut.

OMG. Warm, buttery, flaky layers with a crispy cinnamon sugar crust. This is my new favorite pastry. I heart you cronut! I really heart you.

“Monkston, what should we try next? Oh! I know! Let’s try the new ice cream sandwich in France!”

Yes, I realize I’ve fed my child nothing but junk today. Let’s tally.

Pop-tart for breakfast.
Cheez-its on the plane.
Mozzarella sticks for lunch.
Doritos on the balcony.
Cronut at Refreshment Port.
And now Croque Glace in France.

What’s a Croque Glace? They split open a brioche roll and put in a scoop of ice cream, chocolate or raspberry sauce, close it up and then put it in a Panini press! It’s hot on the outside and cold on the inside. How genius! Will it beat a cronut?

Not quite. It’s very good but I think the ratio of bread to ice cream was a bit off. I think it would be improved if they hollowed out the roll a bit. The contrast of hot and cold is fun though.

I get a text from Mr. Squid that he’s almost at guest relations so we head over to meet him.

Monkston wants to ride something…anything. We are going over to the Top of the World at Bay Lake Tower to watch Wishes so we don’t have a lot of time. I think we can squeeze a ride on Spaceship Earth in though.

Again I’m bothered by the dead eyes of Disney’s animatronic females. Why do the males all look so lifelike and the women all look strange?

One of the questions at the end of our ride is about the stress of picking out an outfit. Craig finds this extremely amusing? What’s so funny??!!

We exit the park and two monorail rides later, we’re at Bay Lake Tower. For the unfamiliar, if you want to go to the lounge on the top floor, you have to be a DVC member. You go to the podium, show your card and they walk you to the special elevator. We grab one of the tiny tables not too far from the window.



We order a couple glasses of wine, chicken sliders and pretzels. I’m not sure where all this will fit on this tiny table. Maybe we will have to balance something on our laps. Mr. Squid is pretty hungry because he wasn’t with us eating junk at Epcot. Unfortunately, the food was pretty terrible. The pretzels were ok but the $11 chicken sliders were worse than Wendy’s.

Squid and Monkston go outside to watch the fireworks while I watch all of our stuff…and Wishes. You can still see it from the table and they pipe the music in so it’s actually an enjoyable way to see the fireworks.

And I am enjoying them…until the baby at the next table starts to cry. I’m sure they’ll take him out in the hall so he won’t disturb anyone though. Surely that’s what one does in a polite society, right?

Well, that’s what some do. What you and I would do. This table? Not so much.

The mother brings the screaming infant to the window to be even more petrified by the fireworks. The screaming accelerates. She rocks the baby in front of the window, blocking our view. He screams the scream of a thousand babies.

Now I understand that you want to see the show and that you’ve spent a lot of money on your vacation and you don’t want to miss anything. That’s how the rest of feel too!

I’m seething at this point. I don’t know why no one tells her to excuse herself.

Confession #14: I’m a wimp.

I consider going outside but it’s pretty crowded out there now and I’d have to bring all our stuff. Finally it ends and she takes the baby out into the hall. Thanks Lady!

The waiter brings our check, Squid looks at it and swipes his band.

“Wow! That was an expensive meal! $81 and that’s after the discount!”
“That’s impossible. I add up what we had in our head and figure it’s about $60.”

We flag the waiter down and explain the mistake. He looks quizzically at us. He shows Squid the bill and it says $61. Oh Magoo! He puts the tip on the table and we leave.

I am weary at the thought of walking to the Magic Kingdom and waiting for the bus. The last time we came here we were staying downstairs. Whose idea was this anyway? I’m looking at you, Squid!

We tiredly trudge over to the bus and luckily get on one that’s loading. We are the last ones on and are standing to the right of the bus driver, right in front of the big window.

“Squid, I’m a goner if there’s an accident! I’m flying right through that window!”

I stand behind Squid.

He points to the bus driver.
“You drive like him, you know.”
“I drive like a bus driver?”
“Yup.”
“So I drive like a professional?”
“No you put the steering wheel up like a bus driver!”

 

[mmeb144]

He points to the bus driver.
“You drive like him, you know.”
“I drive like a bus driver?”
“Yup.”
“So I drive like a professional?”
“No you put the steering wheel up like a bus driver!”

That's funny that you drive with the steering wheel up like a bus driver, according to Mr. Squid. Maybe Mr. Squid is just jealous of your ability to actually fit behind the wheel with it up like that.

 

[shan23877]

I think Monkston's diet of junk sounds perfectly vacationy. And, I let Maddie eat Poptarts all the time-I'd rather start fighting after I've had a chance to wake up.

I missed the cronut. I was so focused on the bacon cupcake that I forgot all about it.

I was always super self-conscious about my own crying baby, but others just don't seem to be. I don't get it. Though I spent the day at the zoo yesterday so I could go on and on about the ways that people could be more conscientious to those around them.

Can't wait to hear more!

 

[smidgy]

now do you really want me to answer what the tip is on free?

probably not, but as a bartender and a server, it's my duty! when we had karaoke at the bar where I used to work, there was a couple who always came. didn't even drink soda. had fun singing for free, free water, and never tipped .

It took me just as much time and effort to to put ice in a glass, fill it with water put in a straw, and hand it to them than to pour a beer. after a couple times, we decided the only water we had on karaoke night was bottled for sale. they stopped coming. more seats and singing slots for others!

I actually didn't tip the guy every time I wanted my mug filled. yes if I had nebo's too. but just like at a wedding (where the drinks are free) your best bet is to tip the first time, nicely. he will take good care of you the rest of the time.
hey, you asked" what do you tip on free? " tee hee


I so agree with you about the pool I like the luna pool much better than storm a long bay. I like the look sa an expansive pool. and the sand was hard to walk on. there wasn't much "swimming " room. and you have to cross the promenade in you wet suit, feeling like a beached whale passing the ladies and gents dressed for dinner walking pass. and the slide is one of those with the metal slats that hurts your back every couple feet.




If I had little kids, I would be afraid of losing them. and while the sep. pool with the sand to play in is nice, if your kids are dif. ages, you might have to split up.
that being said, If we had stayed there when the boys were 10 and 13, they would have LOVED! it.


I love the keester coaster slide at luna pool. the villa pool is nice, but you have to get there early to get a table. (we loved the villa pool at beach club, BTW)
I really like the hidden away boardwalk inn pool it is so pretty and nice and quiet.!!!


speaking of quiet.... how rude of that lady. and then to top off her rudeness by blocking your view! people don't take out their crying or misbehaving babies or children at restaurants anymore either... or movies!!!!!

I have not had a cronut yet!!! it looks scrumptious!!!!

 

[MAGICFOR2]

Taking care of all the "business" involved in getting all your ducks in a row at the start of a WDW stay can be so time consuming! Hmmm, I have yet to try a cronut - might need to do that. I don't know why some people are so inconsiderate. It sometimes seems like everyone in the world thinks they are the only ones around.

 

[pkondz]

I take a quick photo to send to everybody.

Ha, ha! Look where we are!

Who knew Laura had such an evil streak to her?
Okay... Who didn't know?

Isn’t that pretty?

What? Your toes?
Sure. I'll play along.
Very pretty.

I know I’m probably in the minority, but I like this pool better than Beach Club’s.

Having never experienced either...

The pool has a lot of cool features with a lazy river, sink holes and a sandy bottom. (Make that floor. I don’t want Ponzi to have too much fun.)

I would never stoop so low...

:

Besides. Just rinse out your bathing suit once in a while to avoid the dreaded sandy bottom.

I just prefer the more intimate pool at Boardwalk.

But what could be more intimate than a sandy bottom????

What’s the tip on free?

Depends.
If the service is bad 10% or less.
Good service is 20%. Or more.

Aren't I helpful????

A rather grumpy looking bartender arrives. I’m sure he hates mug people.

Well who doesn't?
Why do smug people think they're so great?
What makes them think they're better than everyone else?
What makes....

What?

oh. Mug people.



nevermind.

Then again, maybe he was grumpy because he had a sandy bottom.

“What can I get for you?”
“We’d like these mugs filled please. Lemonade in this one and Seltzer and lemon in the other.”
“You mean club soda?”
Technically they’re different and the stuff coming out of the fountain is seltzer but ok. I think he’s being a bit of a smart butt.
“Yes, please.”

Which is worse? A smart butt? Or a sandy butt?

Besides, you had a chance to be a smart butt too and you didn't take it?

He looks at the remains of the Diet Coke in my mug and proceeds to fill it without dumping it out.
Um, thanks?

Which answers the age-old question.
What goes good with Seltzer and lemon?
Warm, flat, Diet Coke.

He does hate mug people! I don’t feel so bad about not leaving a tip now.

I still probably would've left 10%.


Is this getting old, yet?

Mr. Squid and Monkston go right into the pool but I want to lie down and enjoy the sun for a while. I try not to think of the damage I’m doing to my skin. Aaaah.

No lie.
My DW went to a dermatologist and apologized for not having a tan.
The dermatologist just stared at her.

Well, I just have to sneak a peak at this humidity fearing fellow. He probably has a mop of curly hair like me to be so concerned about it. Let me just turn my head a little and see.

He’s got a lot of hair, all right…just not on his head.

He kept it on a separate lounger? In a bag? Scattered across the pool deck?

“We’re on the same floor as the lobby.”
“Oh good! They put us near the lobby this year. Not exactly upper floor but one out of two requests isn’t bad.”

Hah! You can't fool me! (At least, not this time.)
The second I read that, I knew, I knew you were miles from the front desk.

We collect our bags from bell services and head (sashay, Ponzi?) to the room.

Nope.
I sashay. Others may not have the fortitude, the knowledge and/or the finesse to pull it off.

Disney! You keep us waiting all this time and we don’t get any of our requests?

Keep you waiting?
I'm betting it was more like this:
Mr. Squid. "Hi! Is our room ready yet? We've been waiting a while now."
Panicked CM. "Oh! Yes! It's just ready! I was just going to call you! <thank goodness we never give out that far, far away room!>"

At least the view is kind of nice. Our balcony looks out on secluded grass.

oooohhhh. The coveted grass view!
Second only to the splendid parking lot view or possibly the amazing back-of-the-next-building view!

I unpack and clean up what exploded in my bag, because something always explodes.

That's true.
That's like a rule with you.

Confession #13: It’s actually one of three toiletry bags I packed. I know. I have a problem.

Yes.
Yes you do.
But we still love you.

The woman at the desk assures me that everything is in order and we’re all set.

LIES!!!

“You want to walk around World Showcase?”
“And do what?”
“I don’t know. Watch the entertainment, shop, eat more junk…”
“OK!”

Oh, that sounds familiar!

On the Boardwalk I see a couple women walk by with 4 inch heels. I hope they’re going to a wedding and not touring.

Yikes!
Although I might've been tempted to follow them, just to see how long they'd last.

“Monkston, take our picture!”

Nice pic!
You should use it for your avat... oh.

She actually has a really good eye for composition and color.

Did she come up with the sunglasses shot on her own?
If she did, colour me impressed.

Ten long minutes go by and still these people aren’t finished. What are they doing? What could possibly take that long? Are they planning next year’s vacation at guest relations?

Been there... recently.

(Anyone else find the phrase guest relations funny? Just me? OK.)

Not til just now.
Now I can't stop laughing every time I think of it.

"And remember everyone. Relations with your spouse or partner are fine.
But not with the guests!!! Unless, of course, you work at guest relations."

No wonder Disney tickets are so expensive.

We get through bag check without any judgments about the size and contents of my bag.

“You need to go back to guest relations. Your band’s not working.”
“But the woman at concierge said our annual passes are on the bands. I double checked before we left.”
“You have to activate them at guest relations.”

and of course "guest relations"

Are you able to activate my husband’s on the computer even though he’s not here?”
“No. He will have to come here and activate it himself.”

Of course.
Hey! I just thought of something!!!
This is an amazing idea!
I'm almost thinking of not posting it here...
Oh, what the heck. It's so amazing, so revolutionary, but maybe somebody at Disney will see this and the benefits of my idea are so great that I'm giving it away!

Instead of having everyone wear magic bands....
Just let them buy a ticket to get in!!!!
You won't have to swipe your band all the time and be frustrated at it all the time!
You just show your ticket to whoever's at the entrance and that's it!
You're in!

We wander aimlessly and I spot the Refreshment Port. Cronuts! I read they have cronuts here! I’ve been so curious about cronuts since there was such hysteria over them in NYC.

Haven't had one yet.
It was on my to do list for Chicago... but then I forgot.

OMG. Warm, buttery, flaky layers with a crispy cinnamon sugar crust. This is my new favorite pastry. I heart you cronut! I really heart you.

Now I'm really regretting having forgotten about it.

Yes, I realize I’ve fed my child nothing but junk today. Let’s tally.

Pop-tart for breakfast.
Cheez-its on the plane.
Mozzarella sticks for lunch.
Doritos on the balcony.
Cronut at Refreshment Port.
And now Croque Glace in France.

You're on vacation.
Calories don't count on vacation.
And the idea of eating healthy is considered in poor taste.

I get a text from Mr. Squid that he’s almost at guest relations

Lucky Mr. Squid!

Again I’m bothered by the dead eyes of Disney’s animatronic females. Why do the males all look so lifelike and the women all look strange?

Because in real life, women are alive and their eyes sparkle.
Men are dull and insipid and you're used to seeing us that way.

One of the questions at the end of our ride is about the stress of picking out an outfit. Craig finds this extremely amusing? What’s so funny??!!

I'm sorry. Who finds this amusing?

For the unfamiliar, if you want to go to the lounge on the top floor, you have to be a DVC member. You go to the podium, show your card and they walk you to the special elevator.

Or you sneak in...

Unfortunately, the food was pretty terrible. The pretzels were ok but the $11 chicken sliders were worse than Wendy’s.

Yuck. That's too bad.

And I am enjoying them…until the baby at the next table starts to cry. I’m sure they’ll take him out in the hall so he won’t disturb anyone though. Surely that’s what one does in a polite society, right?

Right.

The mother brings the screaming infant to the window to be even more petrified by the fireworks. The screaming accelerates. She rocks the baby in front of the window, blocking our view. He screams the scream of a thousand babies.

I actually get this.
She's hoping that if the baby just sees the fireworks and/or is rocked while standing, this will quiet him or her down.

But...
1. Don't block someone else's view.
2. If it ain't working. Take the kid out.

I know there are plenty of parents out there that will say, "You just don't understand. Babies cry. You should just accept that."

Well, I do accept that.
I also accept that if my child is bothering others, I will remove my kid.

I've done it, too.

I’m seething at this point. I don’t know why no one tells her to excuse herself.

I think I know.

Confession #14: I’m a wimp.

Yup. That's why.
I wouldn't know how to broach the subject either.

We flag the waiter down and explain the mistake. He looks quizzically at us. He shows Squid the bill and it says $61. Oh Magoo! He puts the tip on the table and we leave.

Two things.
1. I don't know anyone who uses the expression "Oh Magoo!".
But I get it. And I think it's funny.
2. It sure was nice of the waiter to leave the tip. Saves you money.

“Squid, I’m a goner if there’s an accident! I’m flying right through that window!”

I stand behind Squid.

He points to the bus driver.
“You drive like him, you know.”
“I drive like a bus driver?”
“Yup.”
“So I drive like a professional?”
“No you put the steering wheel up like a bus driver!”

At which point, Mr. Squid discovers that Laura also punches like a bus driver.

Thanks for the chapter!