college kids who come home every weekend

[ez]

I know two college freshman who go to (different)expensive private schools. They both come home every weekend (an hour or so away) I would say the college costs are a stretch for both families financially. I don't really get this on a few different levels, but I guess mostly, why would they want to come home every weekend in the first place. I would think that highly ranked colleges would have much more to offer on weekends than being back home. Also socially, I remember when I was in college we were always planning stuff on weekends it was part of the whole experience. So how can you really be part of a group of friends if you go home every weekend. I guess it seems obvious that these are young adults who miss home, but it doesnt seem to me that you get over that hump by coming home each weekend. Thoughts?

 

[Christine]

I tend to agree with you, but that's the danger of going to school too close to home. It's just too easy to NOT become engaged in the community of your school.

My DD went to school 3.5/4 hours away so it was tough for her to come home so rarely did.

My son goes to a school that is 2 hours away. It is MUCH easier for him to get home. During his freshman year he came home WAY more than I wanted him to, but he also spent many weekends there doing things. For him, the dorm life, close quarters, partying for neighbors, and inability to get quality sleep would get to him. When it all go too much, he'd come home and, I swear, sleep a LOT.

Now that he is in an apartment, he rarely comes home, even though he's still 2 hours away.

 

[rwdavis2]

Afraid to let go of the apron strings? Socially awkward and don't make friends? Still tied up with high school stuff?

My oldest daughter spent 1 year at Kent State that pretty much emptied out every weekend because the students went home.

 

[cijay]

I know two college freshman who go to (different)expensive private schools. They both come home every weekend (an hour or so away) I would say the college costs are a stretch for both families financially. I don't really get this on a few different levels, but I guess mostly, why would they want to come home every weekend in the first place. I would think that highly ranked colleges would have much more to offer on weekends than being back home.

No matter how highly ranked the college is, their family isn't there with them. I think there is nothing like moving out for the first time to make you appreciate what you had. Maybe the only people they know in college are beery swine and haven't found their real niche yet.

 

[wilkeliza]

Why does it matter honestly? Some kids have a very close knit family so go home often in college. It doesn't mean they are any less involved at school than their peers or that they aren't getting the full college experience. I bet they go home, get a good cooked meal for two days and clean laundry folded and packed that they don't have to do. Who can beat that in college? My roommate went home every other weekend in college even though we were 4 hours away from our home town simply because she was very involved in the community back home and lived in a close knit family. I on the other hand never went home and only left when we were basically forced to. Each college student is different and it is up to them how they spend their free time.

 

[HM]

They'll probably regret it. Hopefully things will change for them.

My DH went home just about every weekend when he was in college to see his girlfriend and didn't get involved in anything at school. (his roommate did the same). He hates that he wasted those four years in not doing anything at school and made sure to tell our kids that they should make sure to get involved on campus in something.

My daughter still had a boyfriend home at her HS when she was a Freshman. We saw her a lot because of that, but she still had lots of things she did at school. My son was home about once a month when he was a freshman.

 

[Dawnlight]

To each their own.

My oldest is a senior in HS this year and he's not interested in being too far away from home; definitely not across the country, more like staying in the New England area. I don't anticipate him wanting to come home every weekend; in fact, I look forward to him NOT wanting to, but he does want to be close enough that on occasion he can come visit.

Maybe these students have other business that they need to attend to at home; counseling, volunteer commitments, etc?

Every person is different, so needs to do what works best for them.

 

[Sadie22]

There's nothing wrong with going home to work, to study, to help parents, go to church, volunteer - there could be many reasons. A parent was ill so I went home often the first couple of years.

 

[smiths02]

They'll probably regret it. Hopefully things will change for them.

My DH went home just about every weekend when he was in college to see his girlfriend and didn't get involved in anything at school. (his roommate did the same). He hates that he wasted those four years in not doing anything at school and made sure to tell our kids that they should make sure to get involved on campus in something.

My daughter still had a boyfriend home at her HS when she was a Freshman. We saw her a lot because of that, but she still had lots of things she did at school. My son was home about once a month when he was a freshman.

I spent most of the weekends my freshmen year with my boyfriend (or working), then we got engaged and moved into an apartment together, then we got married my junior year of college. I did end up writing an honors thesis (so I was involved with a professor), and I did end up working for a center affiliated with the university, so I still had involvement. No clubs or anything, though.
I don't regret my decisions at all.
Other people I knew who were involved in "freshman" life flunked out (or would have flunked out if their parents hadn't saved them-I didn't have that luxury as I was on a scholarship). They might regret being on campus every weekend.

 

[SMD]

I know two college freshman who go to (different)expensive private schools. They both come home every weekend (an hour or so away) I would say the college costs are a stretch for both families financially. I don't really get this on a few different levels, but I guess mostly, why would they want to come home every weekend in the first place. I would think that highly ranked colleges would have much more to offer on weekends than being back home. Also socially, I remember when I was in college we were always planning stuff on weekends it was part of the whole experience. So how can you really be part of a group of friends if you go home every weekend. I guess it seems obvious that these are young adults who miss home, but it doesnt seem to me that you get over that hump by coming home each weekend. Thoughts?

They're not your kids and you're only speculating on costs and reasons? I'd say none of your business.

Also, are they obese?

 

[sam_gordon]

When I went to college (late 80's-early 90's), I went to a "suitcase college" and most people went back home for the weekend. Of course, for the majority of students, "home" was probably 2-3 hours away at most. For me, it was 5 hours, so I stayed on campus.

 

[design_mom]

Are they introverts?

I definitely am and dorm living wasn't a great fit for me. I didn't come home most weekends right at first, but I did more and more often as the year continued. And it wasn't because I couldn't cut the apron strings, nor that I was having a rough time at school. And I am probably one of the more independent people you'll meet.

Freshman dorms had 4 people per room. I got along with most of them just fine, there just was never a break. I needed time to decompress. At home, it was (mostly) quiet and I had my own room. That's definitely something I took for granted before I went to college!

And I also got a couple of good meals, access to the washing machine, and I could usually get a snacks to take back to the dorm for the next week.

I did miss out on some social activities, but the weekend activities were often sporting events or night clubs. Both of those are noisy and crowded... not my scene. If there was something going on that I wanted to do, I stayed. (My college was about 45 minutes from

 

[kamik86]

I was 5.5 hours away at school so I didn't have this option.

My roommate went home every other weekend because:
1) She would give her mom all her laundry
2) Food (I would have went home more often for better food too)
3) To see other friends that did the same.

BTW my roommate was much more social at school then I was. pledged a sorority and moved in their after the second trimester (school had three trimesters in the normal school year) and I got the room to myself for the last one.

If I lived closer I would have been home way more. My boyfriend (now DH) was back home. I honestly wasn't too engaged besides my job. Just like now I had friends at work and in classes I would talk to and maybe get lunch with after class but not that I would even see much the next trimester if we didn't have the same classes/work schedule again. I don't see anyone from college now that I graduated.

 

[NewRVLady]

I had a very active college life on weekends and I was 2 hours away
My best friend went to a college 45 min from home that we called a "suitcase college"- everyone went home on the weekends- the town has nothing going on
How is that college town on weekends?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

My college honestly didn't have much going on over weekends. People went home, went fishing, or studied. All my pals were back home at JuCo, so I came home a LOT.

 

[cabanafrau]

DD's freshman roommate was 1/2 an hour from home and spent every weekend at home. It wasn't a healthy situation at all for her. She expected her parents to structure their entire lives around her and they did so -- despite having other kids. She moved to a school in Colorado sophomore year, her choosing, and said her parents would be coming with her. They moved the entire family at their daughter's request. Very odd situation, very odd.

 

[Hrhpd]

I know two college freshman who go to (different)expensive private schools. They both come home every weekend (an hour or so away) I would say the college costs are a stretch for both families financially. I don't really get this on a few different levels, but I guess mostly, why would they want to come home every weekend in the first place. I would think that highly ranked colleges would have much more to offer on weekends than being back home. Also socially, I remember when I was in college we were always planning stuff on weekends it was part of the whole experience. So how can you really be part of a group of friends if you go home every weekend. I guess it seems obvious that these are young adults who miss home, but it doesnt seem to me that you get over that hump by coming home each weekend. Thoughts?

I think since every student and family is different, it is a personal decision between the student and their family. It really doesn't matter what other students prefer to do, if this student needs to go home for whatever reason that I am not privy to, so be it. Doesn't affect me in any way, shape or form.

 

[wilkeliza]

DD's freshman roommate was 1/2 an hour from home and spent every weekend at home. It wasn't a healthy situation at all for her. She expected her parents to structure their entire lives around her and they did so -- despite having other kids. She moved to a school in Colorado sophomore year, her choosing, and said her parents would be coming with her. They moved the entire family at their daughter's request. Very odd situation, very odd.

Now that sounds like an unhealthy relationship. I couldn't imagine moving all the younger kids simply because oldest child wanted to move to a different school but still be close to home.

 

[disney world dreamer]

here's what i'm wondering...
why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

many of my friends went to colleges that were about 45-60 minutes away from their house and they all just drove.

i went to one that was about 45 minutes away of course in the complete opposite direction of everyone else so there was not an option on the table to just get a ride with one of my friends.

i stayed in an apartment with 4 other roommates and i did not care for it that much.

i went home every weekend for a few reasons...
-my roommates were meh
-if you wanted to go out and socialize you needed a car because nothing happened on the weekends at the college. instead it was a bunch of 18-22 year olds headed to buffalo or canada to go to clubs.
-i've always been close to my family and we'd do things on the weekends
-i missed my kitties
-my friends would go out and do things on the weekends

i had a much more lively social life going home on the weekends than staying at college.

 

[HM]

I spent most of the weekends my freshmen year with my boyfriend (or working), then we got engaged and moved into an apartment together, then we got married my junior year of college. I did end up writing an honors thesis (so I was involved with a professor), and I did end up working for a center affiliated with the university, so I still had involvement. No clubs or anything, though.
I don't regret my decisions at all.
Other people I knew who were involved in "freshman" life flunked out (or would have flunked out if their parents hadn't saved them-I didn't have that luxury as I was on a scholarship). They might regret being on campus every weekend.

Obviously it worked out better for you than my DH. Everyone is different, that's for sure.