college kids who come home every weekend

[smiths02]

here's what i'm wondering...
why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

many of my friends went to colleges that were about 45-60 minutes away from their house and they all just drove.

i went to one that was about 45 minutes away of course in the complete opposite direction of everyone else so there was not an option on the table to just get a ride with one of my friends.

i stayed in an apartment with 4 other roommates and i did not care for it that much.

i went home every weekend for a few reasons...
-my roommates were meh
-if you wanted to go out and socialize you needed a car because nothing happened on the weekends at the college. instead it was a bunch of 18-22 year olds headed to buffalo or canada to go to clubs.
-i've always been close to my family and we'd do things on the weekends
-i missed my kitties
-my friends would go out and do things on the weekends

i had a much more lively social life going home on the weekends than staying at college.

My university required living in a dorm for first year students (and now it looks like first and second year)...if you live with immediate family or a spouse, you have to file a petition for exemption

 

[barkley]

dd attends college near our home. freshman year she opted to live at home, sophomore year she moved into an apartment w/friends. we see more of her now on the weekends than when she lived at home. reason being-the college town gets loud and noisy on the weekends-too many kids out drinking, throwing parties....if she wants a quiet place she can focus on getting work done she knows it's here. she also likes being able to bring ingredients and her crockpot over to prep food for her lunches all week in an environment where everyone else isn't vying for the same kitchen counter space. there's plenty of activities during the school week on campus so it's not like she's missing out on anything.

in the 2 years she's attended college it seems like the majority of the kids she's known who have dropped out mid year or at they end of their freshman year were those whose families lived farther away than was convenient to go home for other than thanksgiving, winter and spring breaks. yup, kids need to grow up and learn to be independent but when someone's lived 'at home' all their life and never been away for more than a couple of weeks for summer camp as a kid it can be really difficult to move out w/o some periodic (or just the ability to know it's available within a short travel) face to face contact with family and old friends.

 

[cabanafrau]

Now that sounds like an unhealthy relationship. I couldn't imagine moving all the younger kids simply because oldest child wanted to move to a different school but still be close to home.

Initially I assumed she was switching schools halfway across the country because her family was moving there and she was simply telling the story in a way that suited her. Nope. She originally had a plan to transfer elsewhere, I cannot remember where but nowhere in the vicinity of Colorado, and that plan changed apparently when she wasn't accepted and she dreamt up the plan B of Colorado. DD and several of the other girls on their floor were privy on a lot of what was going on from several people who knew her and her family from home. One of the nuttiest things I've ever heard. They moved with neither parent having a job, leaving good jobs here and with the housing market still lagging from the crash. I'm shaking my head as I type this.

 

[barkley]

here's what i'm wondering...
why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

all full time first year students under 21 are required to dorm at dd's public university. you can get an exemption for VERY few reasons-one of which is living with your parents, but when this happens financial aid (who also handles all scholarships) is notified to use the 'living with parents' formula for their purposes which can result in losses of up to $12,000 in scholarships, aid, and eligibility to student loans. dd has friends whose parents live locally and the students would prefer to live with their parents but taking the exemption would leave them even after paying for their dorm and meal packages losing out on about 2 to 3 thousand dollars in college funding.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

My son goes to a private college, within an hour away, and he comes home every weekend. He got scholarships and grants, so we aren't paying for it, not that I see how that pertains to the question. He is a chemistry major, most of the kids in his dorm have very difficult STEM majors, there is a lot of work and stress and the ones who can go home for the weekend. As for what does he do at home? He studies and sleeps and eats stuff he can't get at school

My dad came home every weekend from school to see my mother. They will have been married 50 years in June, and he had a very successful career.

Different strokes for different folks.

 

[AlohaNow]

I was just under one hour from home for college, but I didn’t go home much on weekends. Maybe because college was in NYC. There was a rather, shall we say, ‘healthy’ off-campus vibe.

 

[SMD]

here's what i'm wondering...
why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

many of my friends went to colleges that were about 45-60 minutes away from their house and they all just drove.

i went to one that was about 45 minutes away of course in the complete opposite direction of everyone else so there was not an option on the table to just get a ride with one of my friends.

Maybe they want a different college experience and just so happened to get into a school that is close to home. Maybe it's mandatory for their major or sport. Maybe they don't have a car, can't afford a car or can't drive for other reasons. Maybe they don't want to drive. Maybe the timing of their classes doesn't work well for commuting. Maybe the directions of travel would be at bad times of the day for traffic. Maybe their parents are downsizing their housing to help pay for college. Maybe living on campus is cheaper than owning a car/insurance/gas/parking. Maybe they just want to live on campus even though there are cheaper options. Maybe they're hopelessly following a boy/girl around hoping to be noticed by living down the hall. Maybe they like cafeteria food. There are many reasons why someone might want or need to live on campus regardless of distance. Likewise there are many reasons why someone living on campus might want or need to go home on weekends.

 

[alievans719]

For the first two years of my college experience, I came home every weekend. I lived an hour away on campus. It was a branch campus to the state school and there just wasn't a lot going on at school. My friends went home often, and I still wanted to be close to my parents. From those weekends, I became so close to my dad, we would have uninterrupted talk every week, and I will always cherish that. I also went home a lot because my grandmother was ill, so we never knew when her time would come so I wanted to see her a lot. That was a tough time on my mother as well, so I really think she needed me there. Eventually I went to school further away and didn't see them as much, but I actually thought those first two years of going home on the weekends were a good middle ground for me, and them. I don't look down at anyone who does that, nor do I see that as concerning. It might take up some time, but if they think it's worth it, then good for them.

 

[sam_gordon]

why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

There's a college in our home town. DW & I are both Alumni. The dorms are less than 10 minutes from our house. We told our oldest (currently a HS Senior) that if she elected to go to that school she would be expected to live in a dorm, not at home. You learn a lot at college outside of the classroom... time management, how to deal with others, meal planning, etc.

The school she's looking to attend next year is about an hour away. She'll get a dorm room. If she elects to come home on weekends, that's fine. However, we won't base our lives around her. We don't now.

 

[okeydokey]

This was me my Freshmen year. I kept my job in my home town and I came home to work on weekends. After the first year, I got a job on campus and still came home occasionally but not as often.

 

[okeydokey]

here's what i'm wondering...
why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

My parents believed that if I was going to "go to college" that I should go and live on my own. Otherwise I was just going to class, not the same thing. I think they were right. I learned a lot about self sufficiency and enjoyed the time in between high school and the real world.

 

[castleview]

Went to two schools. First one was a suitcase school where I tried to stay on weekends, but it was deader than a Nevada ghost town up there. I stayed for some weekends and enjoyed the quiet, but went home a lot more than I thought I would. Second school was much further away where no one EVER went home except for holidays. I liked it much better but try not to judge someone who comes home a lot because you just don't know why there are coming.

 

[kamik86]

here's what i'm wondering...
why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

In addition to the ones that require students to live in the dorm..

My second year my roomate was a girl that was local. Her mom worked at the school even. Her tuition was free due to her mom working there. She paid for room and board and mom allowed this for the "college experience" however she really didn't even live in the dorm. Her stuff was there and she would stop by and study once in a while but she didn't sleep there.

She slept in her boyfriends apartment.

My assumption was always that mom and Dad were ok with her living in the dorms and not at home for the experience but weren't ok with her actually living with her boyfriend so this arrangement allowed her to live with her boyfriend without mom and dad knowing how many nights she didn't sleep at "home" etc.

 

[Allons-y!]

here's what i'm wondering...
why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

many of my friends went to colleges that were about 45-60 minutes away from their house and they all just drove.

i went to one that was about 45 minutes away of course in the complete opposite direction of everyone else so there was not an option on the table to just get a ride with one of my friends.

i stayed in an apartment with 4 other roommates and i did not care for it that much.

i went home every weekend for a few reasons...
-my roommates were meh
-if you wanted to go out and socialize you needed a car because nothing happened on the weekends at the college. instead it was a bunch of 18-22 year olds headed to buffalo or canada to go to clubs.
-i've always been close to my family and we'd do things on the weekends
-i missed my kitties
-my friends would go out and do things on the weekends

i had a much more lively social life going home on the weekends than staying at college.

Why? Because what was right for your friends isn't right for everyone.

I went to college just over an hour away, but I wanted the experience of living on campus full-time. My parents wanted that for me as well and had no issue paying for room and board.

I loved every minute. There was a very active social scene on and immediately adjacent to campus, I had a great group of friends, and I was very active in several groups that had weekend events. Where I went, almost nobody went home on weekends, no matter how close your hometown was. It worked for us, and not only did I meet my future husband there, but our closest friends are still those we met during our time there.

 

[puffkin]

Believe it or not, some people just aren't into the "college" scene. I know I wasn't at all. I came home every weekend (about 1 hour away) and did laundry, shopped for food (much cheaper), worked, saw my boyfriend (now DH), and did lots of other "fun" things. I also tutored on campus, had a 4.0 average, was part of several clubs, did several internships and had friends at school. But it was a suitcase campus and I treated school more like a "job". I have no regrets.

 

[aprilchem]

I know two college freshman who go to (different)expensive private schools. They both come home every weekend (an hour or so away) I would say the college costs are a stretch for both families financially. I don't really get this on a few different levels, but I guess mostly, why would they want to come home every weekend in the first place. I would think that highly ranked colleges would have much more to offer on weekends than being back home. Also socially, I remember when I was in college we were always planning stuff on weekends it was part of the whole experience. So how can you really be part of a group of friends if you go home every weekend. I guess it seems obvious that these are young adults who miss home, but it doesnt seem to me that you get over that hump by coming home each weekend. Thoughts?

College professor here - students go home for all different reasons. Perhaps they're pre-meds or in another very demanding major and need the quiet study time? Even with quiet hours and quiet zones, it can be difficult to get uninterrupted quiet time at college. Maybe they don't like the social scene? Maybe they have relationships at home that they want to maintain? I think there are lots of legitimate reasons.

And ultimately the reason to come to college is to get an education, not to socialize. Although there does exist all sorts of programming, students are not beholden to take advantage of it.

 

[disney world dreamer]

Maybe they want a different college experience and just so happened to get into a school that is close to home. Maybe it's mandatory for their major or sport. Maybe they don't have a car, can't afford a car or can't drive for other reasons. Maybe they don't want to drive. Maybe the timing of their classes doesn't work well for commuting. Maybe the directions of travel would be at bad times of the day for traffic. Maybe their parents are downsizing their housing to help pay for college. Maybe living on campus is cheaper than owning a car/insurance/gas/parking. Maybe they just want to live on campus even though there are cheaper options. Maybe they're hopelessly following a boy/girl around hoping to be noticed by living down the hall. Maybe they like cafeteria food. There are many reasons why someone might want or need to live on campus regardless of distance. Likewise there are many reasons why someone living on campus might want or need to go home on weekends.

maybe.... maybe not...

 

[SirDuff]

maybe.... maybe not...

Maybe not what? That was a list of possible reasons - not a list of all possible reasons. What is there to be "maybe not" about?

 

[tvguy]

I was at a private college 50 miles from home and I came home every weekend all 4 years. I slept about 14 hours a night Friday and Saturday night and got caught up on homework, but most weekends there was nothing going on on campus.

Fast forward 30 years and my 2 kids said the same thing, campus was empty on the weekends. DS came home every couple weeks, same school as me, DD was 150 miles away, so only came home every 6 weeks.

 

[MrsDuck]

I drove 4 hours to my boyfriend's (who lived 20 min from my home) or my parents' every weekend because I was miserable at school and terribly homesick. I switched schools after the first year. It was the best decision I've ever made.

ETA: my boyfriend and I are now married.