college kids who come home every weekend

[DisneyOma]

My boyfriend came home from college almost every weekend to see me. We've been married over 26 years now. Younger DD comes home a few times a month, mostly for events, but sometimes just because her roommates are gone for the weekend. I have no problem with that. I don't know why anyone would? I don't get the whole 'break away from the family' mentality - unless you have a really sucky family!

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I only hope that when the time comes, mine come home and visit often.

 

[disney world dreamer]

Maybe not what? That was a list of possible reasons - not a list of all possible reasons. What is there to be "maybe not" about?

i was simply pointing out that maybe those are reasons for why some students dorm but you don't know either so maybe they are not reasons for why some students dorm.

 

[disney world dreamer]

it would seem to me that some people dislike when other people have different opinions.

 

[cabanafrau]

There seems to be a lot of assumption here about the "college scene". IMO it can be whatever you make it. I know for my DD it varies widely, frequently depending on her homework load, which is usually brutal. Sometimes it's all studying, sometimes it's a football weekend or a concert, art exhibition, board games, video games, wine night, making a large dinner as a group, shopping, movie marathon, Halloween party, other parties, etc. Some weekends it's homework, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry and she goes to church.

She's lived year round at school since she left for college and is somehow managing to have the time of her life without some Animal House inspired lifestyle. It's very similar for quite a few of her friends. I think just like reasons for coming home on the weekends might vary, the "college scene" might not be all keggers and wild partying either.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

I got to see both situations, and their consequences (for lack of a better word) first hand.
My niece went to a suitcase school. She went home every weekend....after her last class Friday (or Thursday some semesters) and went back just in time for her first class Monday. Her parents bought her a car to make this possible- she is an only child and they loved having her home. She went to classes and studied while on campus, no extra curriculars, no tailgates, no basketball games, no campus job, nothing to tie her to the school other than classes. When she graduated, she was done. No visits back, no college friends in her bridal party, and less than a handful of college friends at her wedding. Long term friends are all from her childhood or through her husband. It doesn't bother her, and it worked for her. She is happy with the experience she had.
The other side of the coin is my son and my step son. They both fully immersed themselves in campus life, coming home only for holidays and special events. Both got involved on campus, sports, clubs, Greek life, tailgates, parties, trips with college friends, etc.
My stepson, though he lives home now, six years post grad he still goes to homecoming, frat and sports alumni events, and frequent visits to different areas to visit college friends. He has been a groomsman for three frat brothers so far, with more ahead.
My son is only months from graduating, and is on the DCP. Before he left for Fl he made trips out to his college as often as his summer job schedule would allow. And his first trip home from DCP will be involving more time visiting his college than visiting home.
It seems to me the immersion creates a new "family" for students. Those who develop those ties hold onto them later in life, and those who keep closer to their old life transition back into it more readily upon graduation.
My youngest heads to college next fall. I hope he finds a new family like his brothers did, and I hope he gets the full college experience. But if he chooses to come home every weekend, it will be his choice.

 

[SMD]

it would seem to me that some people dislike when other people have different opinions.

Your post was very absolute that students who live only an hour away should drive unless they have one specific limitation like you have. You used the example that your friends drove. Not everyone's life experience or financial situation or needs/wants are like yours. Maybe people dislike differing opinions, or maybe they wanted to point out that not everything is your black and white set of conditions.

 

[disney world dreamer]

Your post was very absolute that students who live only an hour away should drive unless they have one specific limitation like you have. You used the example that your friends drove. Not everyone's life experience or financial situation or needs/wants are like yours. Maybe people dislike differing opinions, or maybe they wanted to point out that not everything is your black and white set of conditions.

maybe we should leave it at that.

 

[luvsJack]

dd will start our about 45 minutes from our home. She will be in choir and show choir which both practice in the evenings and all performances are in the evenings. She will dorm because 1. I don't really want her driving back and forth after those late nights, 2. It will give her more study time because she isn't having to get back and forth and 3. mostly because she wants to and we want her to.

Will she come home every weekend, only time will tell. But I am guessing she will most weekends. To see family, her friends that go to other schools or no school, go out with friends, etc.

Both of my nieces went to a school less than 30 minutes from home. They were in a sorority and required to stay on campus. They went home every weekend and sometimes one or two nights during the week. And they still had a full "college experience". Were very social and very involved. Both married guys in their "big brother" frat and still have parties that include all their sorority sisters and their dhs' frat brothers.

The differences many are talking about are more likely to be the kid, not the living arrangements.

 

[SirDuff]

i was simply pointing out that maybe those are reasons for why some students dorm but you don't know either so maybe they are not reasons for why some students dorm.

Which would make sense if the person you quoted said "these are all the reasons that someone might do it". But they didn't. So, I'm not sure what you were pointing out that wasn't already in the post you quoted.

 

[disney world dreamer]

Which would make sense if the person you quoted said "these are all the reasons that someone might do it". But they didn't. So, I'm not sure what you were pointing out that wasn't already in the post you quoted.

i was speaking in generally "you" don't know.
my goodness why does it seem like you are trying to get my goat?
maybe because you enjoy conflict?
maybe.

 

[littlejimmy]

I know two college freshman who go to (different)expensive private schools. They both come home every weekend (an hour or so away) I would say the college costs are a stretch for both families financially. I don't really get this on a few different levels, but I guess mostly, why would they want to come home every weekend in the first place. I would think that highly ranked colleges would have much more to offer on weekends than being back home. Also socially, I remember when I was in college we were always planning stuff on weekends it was part of the whole experience. So how can you really be part of a group of friends if you go home every weekend. I guess it seems obvious that these are young adults who miss home, but it doesnt seem to me that you get over that hump by coming home each weekend. Thoughts?

who cares. not your kid.

 

[wilkeliza]

I got to see both situations, and their consequences (for lack of a better word) first hand.
My niece went to a suitcase school. She went home every weekend....after her last class Friday (or Thursday some semesters) and went back just in time for her first class Monday. Her parents bought her a car to make this possible- she is an only child and they loved having her home. She went to classes and studied while on campus, no extra curriculars, no tailgates, no basketball games, no campus job, nothing to tie her to the school other than classes. When she graduated, she was done. No visits back, no college friends in her bridal party, and less than a handful of college friends at her wedding. Long term friends are all from her childhood or through her husband. It doesn't bother her, and it worked for her. She is happy with the experience she had.
The other side of the coin is my son and my step son. They both fully immersed themselves in campus life, coming home only for holidays and special events. Both got involved on campus, sports, clubs, Greek life, tailgates, parties, trips with college friends, etc.
My stepson, though he lives home now, six years post grad he still goes to homecoming, frat and sports alumni events, and frequent visits to different areas to visit college friends. He has been a groomsman for three frat brothers so far, with more ahead.
My son is only months from graduating, and is on the DCP. Before he left for Fl he made trips out to his college as often as his summer job schedule would allow. And his first trip home from DCP will be involving more time visiting his college than visiting home.
It seems to me the immersion creates a new "family" for students. Those who develop those ties hold onto them later in life, and those who keep closer to their old life transition back into it more readily upon graduation.
My youngest heads to college next fall. I hope he finds a new family like his brothers did, and I hope he gets the full college experience. But if he chooses to come home every weekend, it will be his choice.

I never went home at my second college (I was in NYC and home was in Texas) and actually stayed on campus even when kicked out. I was actively involved in my program and the theater. We didn't have greek and no sports but I had friends and was involved. 3 years post grad and I talk to 1 person I went to school with. None of them are in my wedding. Now I did do a DCP as well like your son and 1 person from my DCP is in my wedding and many of my Disney friends are invited to my wedding. I think the big difference is we kind of all got scattered to the wind after college being theater students and I kind of "sold out" by taking a desk job after Disney and the rest of my college friends are off touring around America working to make it in the business.

 

[littlejimmy]

it would seem to me that some people dislike when other people have different opinions.

you got called out because your first post was incredibly judgemental and quite, frankly, seemed to lack common sense. please note that I am not trying to get your goat or enjoying conflict. I am trying to be helpful and constructive, so you don't have to get so defensive when others call you out. hope this helps.

 

[cabanafrau]

dd will start our about 45 minutes from our home. She will be in choir and show choir which both practice in the evenings and all performances are in the evenings. She will dorm because 1. I don't really want her driving back and forth after those late nights, 2. It will give her more study time because she isn't having to get back and forth and 3. mostly because she wants to and we want her to.

Will she come home every weekend, only time will tell. But I am guessing she will most weekends. To see family, her friends that go to other schools or no school, go out with friends, etc.

Both of my nieces went to a school less than 30 minutes from home. They were in a sorority and required to stay on campus. They went home every weekend and sometimes one or two nights during the week. And they still had a full "college experience". Were very social and very involved. Both married guys in their "big brother" frat and still have parties that include all their sorority sisters and their dhs' frat brothers.

The differences many are talking about are more likely to be the kid, not the living arrangements.

Not to peck at you or doubt what you said at all, but I'm so surprised to hear your nieces' sorority experience allowed them to come home every weekend and up to a couple times per week. Everyone I know with kids in the Greek life find it a very busy experience, particularly on top of a college courseload.

 

[disney world dreamer]

you got called out because your first post was incredibly judgemental and quite, frankly, seemed to lack common sense. please note that I am not trying to get your goat or enjoying conflict. I am trying to be helpful and constructive, so you don't have to get so defensive when others call you out. hope this helps.

thank you.
you were very helpful.

 

[SirDuff]

i was speaking in generally "you" don't know.
my goodness why does it seem like you are trying to get my goat?
maybe because you enjoy conflict?
maybe.

Maybe. Maybe not.

For the record, my first post was actually a question - I couldn't understand what you were saying "maybe.... maybe not..." about. I'm still confused (since it makes no sense), but it definitely not worth the effort.

 

[luvsJack]

Not to peck at you or doubt what you said at all, but I'm so surprised to hear your nieces' sorority experience allowed them to come home every weekend and up to a couple times per week. Everyone I know with kids in the Greek life find it a very busy experience, particularly on top of a college courseload.

Being 30 minutes from home allowed them to run home to eat with their parents many times, didn't take them any more time than going out to eat at a local restaurant or even eat at the cafeteria. Weekends they came home if there wasn't something going on or if they did have an event, they could just come home and go to the event from there. The events that were off campus honestly weren't a whole lot further from their home than it was from their room.

The sorority has actually dropped the requirement to stay on campus now and some of the girls are commuters. For a little while, the number of campus housing options was outnumbered by the number of students wanting to stay on campus so the school asked the Greeks to drop the requirement. (The frats still have it as they have their houses but the sororities use the dorms). New dorms have been built but last dniece knew they still had not changed the requirement back.

 

[disney world dreamer]

Maybe. Maybe not.

maybe i have the wrong person.
maybe you are the one that enjoys conflict.
maybe not.
or maybe you're both the same person with 2 accounts?
maybe not.

lol this is becoming too much.
maybe we can agree to disagree.

 

[cabanafrau]

Being 30 minutes from home allowed them to run home to eat with their parents many times, didn't take them any more time than going out to eat at a local restaurant or even eat at the cafeteria. Weekends they came home if there wasn't something going on or if they did have an event, they could just come home and go to the event from there. The events that were off campus honestly weren't a whole lot further from their home than it was from their room.

The sorority has actually dropped the requirement to stay on campus now and some of the girls are commuters. For a little while, the number of campus housing options was outnumbered by the number of students wanting to stay on campus so the school asked the Greeks to drop the requirement. (The frats still have it as they have their houses but the sororities use the dorms). New dorms have been built but last dniece knew they still had not changed the requirement back.

I'm so used to the frats and sororities, particularly the sororities, having a constant stream of events and projects that keep the members tied up.

ETA: This is absolutely NOT to peck at what you're saying or stir up conflict -- no maybe or maybe not about it.