college kids who come home every weekend

[Bluestars]

I spent most of the weekends my freshmen year with my boyfriend (or working), then we got engaged and moved into an apartment together, then we got married my junior year of college. I did end up writing an honors thesis (so I was involved with a professor), and I did end up working for a center affiliated with the university, so I still had involvement. No clubs or anything, though.
I don't regret my decisions at all.
Other people I knew who were involved in "freshman" life flunked out (or would have flunked out if their parents hadn't saved them-I didn't have that luxury as I was on a scholarship). They might regret being on campus every weekend.

A couple of students in my son's dorm flunked out after the first semester of their freshman year. It's too bad they didn't get the support they needed to make it. I see nothing wrong with kids going home every weekend while attending college. Maybe it's just what they need to stay focused the rest of the time. Unfortunately, my son wanted to go to college out of state, so visiting every weekend is not an option. I rarely see him, but he does love to visit when he can.

 

[Skywalker]

Luckily, with so much studying necessary, there is no time for partying.

Bwa ha ha! You believe that do you, mom? The engineers I went to school with the hardest partyers of all lol.

 

[cabanafrau]

How did your daughter react to being told "if you want to go away, then go away"? For the neighbor's daughter, there was no problem - she liked being with her parents. It could have had nothing to do with comfort level. Her parents like having her around, she liked being with them. Sounds like they are rather good parents.



Old friends and significant others are 'crutches'? Ouch!



I'm hoping your daughter's boyfriend saw the light and found someone who actually wanted to be with him?

Actually they're still together, mutually agreed upon, but it's so kind of you to be so concerned. Her point is she is still in HS, needs to figure out college and her life and isn't going to be making decisions at this point based on a HS romance -- and is pushing him to do the same. Funnily enough, she's shared some of this with him in conversations one or the other of his parents were part of. They adore her and think she's been a great influence on him.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Bwa ha ha! You believe that do you, mom? The engineers I went to school with the hardest partyers of all lol.

It probably varies from one school to the next (and maybe even from one year to the next). I was an English major who ended up in the Engineering dorm as a fluke. I stayed two years because, where I was, they were quiet and not much into partying and I liked the calmer atmosphere.

 

[cabanafrau]

It probably varies from one school to the next (and maybe even from one year to the next). I was an English major who ended up in the Engineering dorm as a fluke. I stayed two years because, where I was, they were quiet and not much into partying and I liked the calmer atmosphere.

My daughter's time in the engineering dorm and program was the same. Those who did party didn't last even the one year.

 

[DawnM]

I have two friends whose sons are in engineering at two different schools (opposite sides of the country actually) and they too say that the engineering folks are much calmer and not partiers.

One of my friend's sons is doing an internship this semester at Kennedy Space Center!

 

[HeyIt'sMe]

My DD goes to a university that is about an hour from our home and she still lives at home and commutes. She has gotten to be good friends with a fellow student (girl) that is from the town next to ours but that friend has an apartment near campus (1 bedroom furnished apartment + parking + utilities = $1,500/month - yikes!). DD doesn't like the drive and talks about maybe sharing an apartment with her friend next year. That doesn't make sense since 1-she said she'd probably come home most weekends (her boyfriend goes to the same school but he lives at home too - and his neighborhood is across the street from ours) and 2-she has a job that is close to home so she'd be commuting back and forth anyway.

One good thing is her friend with the apartment lets DD stay there if she has an early morning meeting/study group the next day. She also said DD could stay over if there is ever really bad weather and the drive home would be treacherous.

(My DD, her BF, and her new friend are not partiers either - thank goodness!)

 

[Christine]

Bwa ha ha! You believe that do you, mom? The engineers I went to school with the hardest partyers of all lol.

Parent of ex-engineering major. They may party hard on their off time, but the one's I know (working engineers today) said they had very little time. My son said his whole social life was gone last semester. None whatsoever.

I have two friends whose sons are in engineering at two different schools (opposite sides of the country actually) and they too say that the engineering folks are much calmer and not partiers.

One of my friend's sons is doing an internship this semester at Kennedy Space Center!

My son (who is now out of engineering) said he had NO social life at all last year due to the classes, outside group project, and studying. Now that he's in a non-engineering major he say "Hey, now I see why everyone's having so much fun!"

 

[BLAZEY]

I went to to the local University, lived at home and my sister lived away from home while going to school. I graduated, started working got married and moved out. My sister has moved back home 2 times, and is thinking about a 3rd time with a husband a 2 kids in tow. Living away from home at a dorm does NOT prepare one for living independently from their parents. My mum let me live at home but, unlike I did in highschool, I did my own laundry, cooked for both of us, and gave her some money to cover my part of the bills. Living on campus was really expensive. I learned more about living within my means and how to cook at home than in a dorm and eating out at the cafeteria all the time.

 

[CPanther95]

I went to to the local University, lived at home and my sister lived away from home while going to school. I graduated, started working got married and moved out. My sister has moved back home 2 times, and is thinking about a 3rd time with a husband a 2 kids in tow. Living away from home at a dorm does NOT prepare one for living independently from their parents. My mum let me live at home but, unlike I did in highschool, I did my own laundry, cooked for both of us, and gave her some money to cover my part of the bills. Living on campus was really expensive. I learned more about living within my means and how to cook at home than in a dorm and eating out at the cafeteria all the time.

My siblings and I all had to do our own laundry/ironing starting with the first day of our senior year.

 

[3boymthr]

Oldest DS went to a state university located about an hour from home (only 20 miles but all back roads). Freshman year he was home almost every single weekend. First it started out he was coming home just to work the Pats games (he is a hawker at Gillette), I'd pick him up Saturday and take him back Sunday after the game. Then it was an 8:30 game on Sunday...My parents took him back on Monday morning. Soon enough he was coming home every weekend, work or not and getting home on Friday before I got home from work at 3 and leaving Monday after breakfast. He hated the school. It's a good school located in the middle of a small city, but there is no social life for kids without cars. He had a few friends at school but nothing to do during the week except study and eat at the caf' and work out. His friends from here would drive over and hang out with him when they could afford it, but still nothing to do - no place to hang out. The dorm room was too small for chairs and the common areas were right by the doors to the dorm so too public. He couldn't do his favorite hobbies because electric guitars were not allowed in the dorm and neither were his other hobbies. He's now home and going to a community college. Much happier. Sometimes it just works out that way. A kid's not happy, so they come home every weekend. I'd rather he be happy and home than at school and miserable.

 

[BLAZEY]

My siblings and I all had to do our own laundry/ironing starting with the first day of our senior year.

I did my own laundry before grade 12 as well, about grade 7, but many don't. When DH & I were dating he had roommates that could only cook fish sticks and tater tots, and couldn't do laundry. One worked fast food and his uniform was all greasy, and would put it in the washer with cold water no soap. I had to teach him how to properly do laundry as his boss mentioned it not being cleaned.

 

[CPanther95]

I did my own laundry before grade 12 as well, about grade 7, but many don't. When DH & I were dating he had roommates that could only cook fish sticks and tater tots, and couldn't do laundry. One worked fast food and his uniform was all greasy, and would put it in the washer with cold water no soap. I had to teach him how to properly do laundry as his boss mentioned it not being cleaned.

That senior year was supposed to prepare me, but it was the only time of any duration that I did my own laundry. The girls in our dorm usually did my laundry for me and I got married right after college.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

here's what i'm wondering...
why would you dorm at a college thats about an hour away unless like me you're visually impaired and therefore cannot drive?

many of my friends went to colleges that were about 45-60 minutes away from their house and they all just drove.

i went to one that was about 45 minutes away of course in the complete opposite direction of everyone else so there was not an option on the table to just get a ride with one of my friends.

i stayed in an apartment with 4 other roommates and i did not care for it that much.

i went home every weekend for a few reasons...
-my roommates were meh
-if you wanted to go out and socialize you needed a car because nothing happened on the weekends at the college. instead it was a bunch of 18-22 year olds headed to buffalo or canada to go to clubs.
-i've always been close to my family and we'd do things on the weekends
-i missed my kitties
-my friends would go out and do things on the weekends

i had a much more lively social life going home on the weekends than staying at college.

Many reasons I am sure. One that I can think of is that most merit aid scholarships are toward school expenses which includes the dorm.

If you have the option to move out and stay on campus it will save money on gas and wear and tear on your car. Plus the headache of the commute, esp. in the winter.

 

[theworldneedscolor]

Thought I'd give my perspective since I am currently in this situation!

Freshman year I went to an out-of-state school and I kind of hated it, to be honest. Not just because I was homesick, although that was definitely a factor. I realized that I took my home state for granted; Oregon is an amazing place to live! And I learned that the desert is not for me Overall it was just not a good fit for a multitude of reasons, and I was very, very unhappy. I did have three good friends there (one who was actually from my high school), but that wasn't enough reason to stay, especially when I could save a lot of money by transferring to an in state school.

Now I go to a school about an hour away from home. I am so much happier here! I do go home fairly frequently (about every other weekend), but I don't see a problem with that. I enjoy seeing my family and having a relaxing weekend. I am not really into the drinking/party scene, which is basically the only thing going on around here on the weekends. So the weekends that I do stay at school I usually just work and study. Also, two of my best friends go to schools in my hometown, and we have grown even closer now that I moved back. I don't see why there's anything wrong with staying friends with people from high school The three of us are much tighter than anyone that we have met at our respective universities.

I don't always like posting on social media that I am home because I do feel like some people unfairly judge. But if it makes me happy to come home and see my family and friends, what's the problem with that? Honestly I am more social/active on weekends I am at home than when I am just hanging around my apartment.

 

[mmackeymouse]

I don't know much about these two kids, but I went to an expensive private college, and where I went at least, there was surprisingly little to do on the weekends. Most of the action was planned during the week, to keep commuters involved, I imagine. Other than the occasional event, parties were really the only thing going on. If they are non-partiers and non-drinkers like I was, obviously there might not be as much to do.

My experience- I went to school about 2 hours away, and I came home quite a bit. Sometimes, I would be home 4 weekends in a row, and then I might not come home for 5 weekends. My sister was in high school while I was at college, so there were definitely things I wanted to come home and experience with her. As far as my circle of friends, many were commuters, and most of the ones who weren't, went home every weekend. My roommate went home about the same amount as I did, once or twice a month, but sometimes in spurts. Our weekends basically consisted of going to the library, studying, and doing papers, geeky as that may sound. A lot of the "fun stuff" like movies, putt putt, ice cream trips, we did during the week. I was very involved on campus, things from bible studies to the school newspaper, but again...a lot of those things weren't weekend things.

So, believe it or not, some colleges just don't have THAT much of a scene, so to speak. But, even if they did, it just may not be those people's cup of tea.

 

[IceSkatingPrincess]

I came home every weekend from a private school in downtown chicago (hour train ride) because my roommate was the absolute worst. She did drugs, sold drugs (there was a weird policy that had me afraid to report it, because I could take half the blame for things being physically in our room even though I didn't partake in or condone it), was constantly singing showtunes at the top of her lungs, insisted on only speaking in a fake British accent, and didn't do laundry the entire semester leaving mountains of dirty panties under her bed. So yes, I came home a lot. I know the reaction here would be to move rooms, but this was after I had moved rooms that semester already from the roommate who peed in the sink and threatened to kill me in my sleep. So yeah, home was salvation! I do NOT miss dorm living!

So, they might be dealing with a little more than you assume Everyone has their reasons!