closed casket/open casket

[Mickey527]

I want cremation with no viewing. I want my family to get together at my favorite restaraunt and think about the good, and the fun I had when alive.
Then I had planned on the boys sprinkling my ashes at a place I named to them.
But my boys still go visit my mother's gravesite so I am wondering if they will need a place to go to "talk" to me. And will they need to see me in the casket to grieve?
I am hoping I have many years to talk to them about this before they have to make the decision but these are the questions I need to ask them. Peggie

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I personally want everyone to come look at my beautiful face one more time, why deprive them.
Seriously, open for a private viewing for family members than shut the lid. Now my family uses a good funeral home and the deceased look good. Does that make sense? But I've been to funerals where there is no mistaking that the person is dead. Sometimes I think, "do you want me to fix that?"

 

[slo]

Currently, I don't have an opinion. I will leave it up to my family.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I'll be cremated....there will be no inspecting!

Every creamation that I have known the viewing was first and the cremation happened later.

 

[inaminute]

Closed.

If someone didn't get to see enough of me when I was alive, they certainly won't get the opportunity to look at me when I'm dead!

 

[Tigger_Magic]

I voted other because I really don't care. Like Doctor P said, funerals are for the living, so whoever is left can decide what to do. My wishes are take whatever can be used by someone else and then cremate the rest. Scatter it wherever it makes the least mess.

 

[MAKmom]

I want cremation with no viewing. I want my family to get together at my favorite restaraunt and think about the good, and the fun I had when alive.
Then I had planned on the boys sprinkling my ashes at a place I named to them.
But my boys still go visit my mother's gravesite so I am wondering if they will need a place to go to "talk" to me. And will they need to see me in the casket to grieve?
I am hoping I have many years to talk to them about this before they have to make the decision but these are the questions I need to ask them. Peggie

I think it harder on the living when you do not have a service or you have it all in one day.

When you have the Viewing at night everyone who wants to give thier condolences can come...they can not take a day off work unless its a family members. The neighbors can come...they may not know my grandmother but want to offer ME support.

I rather get it over with & not have to have condolences every time I run into someone.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

My brother was cremated, but we still had a viewing. IMO, I think it is an important part of the grieving process, to see them one last time. It was great to see my brother. The Funeral Director worked magic. He looked healthy again. Like he was just sleeping. He had been devestated by cancer, so it was wonderful to see the pain gone from his face.

My other brother had to have a closed casket, and that was terrible. We did not get to see him one last time. Lucky for me, I had just seen him a month before he passed away unexpectedly. Unfortunately, some of my other siblings had not seen him in years. I felt bad for one of my sister's when she realized she was not going to be able to see him one last time.

 

[KelNottAt]

I'll be cremated. And it won't be preceded by a viewing in a casket, either. To me, that just seems like a pointless expense.

And before you jump to conclusions that my survivors would want to find closure by putting me in a casket and saying goodbye to my body, I assure you that is highly unlikely.

There hasn't been a casket funeral in my family for 3 generations. Going back to my great-grandparents (all sides) it's been cremations. If a relative chose casket, we'd all be fine with it, but he or she would definitely be in the minority.

 

[jx3smom]

I would like to be cremated.

 

[pearlieq]

My first choice would be an anatomical gift, and if that doesn't work out, I want a direct cremation.

I firmly believe that funerals are for the living, so whatever kind of memorial my survivors want is fine. I would prefer it be something simple and tasteful, but whatever they need to feel better is OK with me.

 

[ncbyrne]

I'm all for cremation. When my Dad died I put together a collage of pictures taken of him doing all the things he loved: racing his beloved Austin Healey, Playing with his St. Bernard, hugging his mother, dancing with his favorite partner, working on a big project for Boeing. He looked vital, relaxed, and happy in every one, a far cry from the shriveled gray old man he was by the time cancer finished him off. I promised him I wouldn't let anybody stare at him after his death(he was very vain in life!) So instead, we had his picture set up in the living room while we ate fried chicken, drank beer, and rode the kids around on the pony. My kind of funeral

Are you Irish?

 

[Zandy595]

First I want to donate my organs to help other people. Then I want to be cremated, no viewing at all. I really can't handle going to open casket services, it freaks me out. I don't want to see dead people and I don't want to make them see me. I don't want an urn of my ashes sitting next to my picture either. I think it's just creepy when you have to sit in a room with a dead body or someone's ashes. I had nightmares for years after going to my grandfather's viewing when I was a child. I don't want to put anyone in my family through that. I want them to celebrate my life, not be creeped out by my death.

 

[eyeoreismyhero]

I'll be cremated....there will be no inspecting!

Me too!

 

[Tjaleks]

My DH already has his marching orders if something was to happen to me. He is give away any viable organ and then have me cremated. After the cremation though, I have been trying to convince him to make me into a blue diamond. So far I haven't had any luck.

 

[Martha7]

I'm also choosing cremation, but if they want to bury my ashes in the family plot, that's fine too. When I went to my former stepfather's funeral, there was an open casket, and he didn't look anything like himself. It was obvious that the person at the funeral home hadn't been provided with a picture of him, because although I hadn't seen him in many years, he always had sandy blond hair, parted on the side. They made him look like Count Dracula, with dark hair, slicked straight back. I guess it's possible that he was wearing his hair that way, but I kind of doubt it. He had been an alcoholic for years, which is why my folks divorced. I also went to the service of a five year old girl who had suffered a heart attack, due to a congenital disorder. Although her hair was long and nicely done, and she was in a beautiful white dress, etc., she looked like she was made of wax, and it was disconcerting. If it gave her family comfort, however, I can understand why they chose this. It did look as though she was merely sleeping, and I'm sure that's the memory they were left with, rather than the upset of the hospital experience. It's such a personal decision, and I respect the people who said they'd leave it up to the grieving relatives, but I wonder if that causes unexpected problems, when the family can't agree because the deceased never specifed their preference.

 

[Tinkerbell_Girl]

I want to have my organs donated and I would like to be cremated.

 

[Joann]

I worked in a funeral home and from doing so I think I want an open casket if I look fine ... reason is for the closure having worked in one and seeing lots of funerals open and closed it does give better closure having an open casket for the family only part that is hard is when the viewing is done and the casket gets closed which in some viewings they do it while all the family and friends are there, it is very hard on the family seeing the casket be closed for good. I had a friend who was murdered in plain day light on a busy street in surrey B.C It was all over the news he pulled her off the street in the afternoon into bushes and strangled her at the age of 16, my friends parents had an open casket as they brought her body back to Ontario where she grew up... in her case I don't think I would have had it opened even tho the directors did a great job on her you could see the swelling in her face and even with the makeup the bruising was still visible... so in those cases closed!

 

[Bob Slydell]

It's up to my family, but traditionally, we've usually had open caskets, so that's probably what they'll end up having.

 

[minkydog]

Are you Irish?

No, Southern. But we had been through months of nursing dear ol' Dad through his terrible lung cancer and the cryin' time was over. Time to break out the party He would hav loved it