Child support question

[musclemouse]

He pays that much? I read that P. Diddy pays like $35,000 a month. In our state child support is based on a percentage of income-isn't that the case in most states? So someone would only pay a lot if they had a high income.
But you say you cannot afford a lawyer.

I think other posters gave good suggestions about looking up stuff on line.

Okay so it was a bit of an exaggeration. But the amount is more than most people. Right we can not afford an attorney because they are taking so much of dh's money for the "adult-child". This is the first type of case this county in MN has seen. The state isn't even sure how to deal with this. Or so they say. We can't ever get any straight answers. One person tells us this and then someone else gives us completely different answers. Seriously, it's a mess.

Don't worry about the relationship between the father and child. It's between the money grubbing mother. The mom CAN work but won't. The step-father doesn't work. They live off of 3 child support checks from 2 other men other than my dh. Seriously this is all about the money for the mom. She drives a brand new Escalde!

 

[musclemouse]

This sounds like your husband's son was actually proven by the state or county to be attending the online high school (whether it's half or full time) so he is still in high school and child support must continue. I guess if that is the law-what can you do about it?
Why do you suspect the child is in college-how would he have gotten into college if he hasn't finished high school?

His facebook page shows CENTURY college under network.

 

[MrsPete]

What I did say is that the mother is NOT entitled to child support when there is no longer a child. 18 is an adult, whether people like it or not, think they are mature or not, etc . . . I just don't think the mom should get ANY money after 18, and if the kid is irresponsible with money the dad should consider paying the money directly to the school to make sure that's what it's going for.

I wouldn't say NEVER in this situation. There are cases in which a woman has worked in a low-paying job to put her husband through medical school or law school, and then he's dumped her . . . there are cases in which a woman's stayed home with children for 20 years, giving up her opportunity for a career, and during that time her husband's built up a retirement package worth 2-3 million. Surely other unusual circumstances exist. In situations like that, the courts have to look at the details and sort it out -- and sometimes the woman deserves to take the ex-husband to the cleaners -- but those situations are not all that common.

 

[MrsPete]

Right we can not afford an attorney because they are taking so much of dh's money for the "adult-child".

I'd argue that you can't afford NOT to see an attorney. You need to know the truth here, and it's about more than money -- it's about the child's future. If he has not finished high school, he needs to find a path towards completing at least that much education.

 

[creativeamanda]

I'm going to get flamed for saying this. . .but here goes.

Why is this father in a situation where he does not know whether or not his son is going to school? I'm sorry, but if you are a parent, noncustodial or custodial, you see progress reports, report cards, etc. You stay involved. This dad doesn't appear to stay involved at all from the OP's comments and thereforeif they want to get rid of child support, my suggestion would be for the man to be a parent and get involved.

 

[musclemouse]

OP, I see that you have 2 children. Will you and your husband continue to support them once they turn 18?

This is completely different. But I won't elaborate.

 

[creativeamanda]

His facebook page shows CENTURY college under network.

He may have gotten his GED and taking high school and college courses at the same time online. I coordinate special services for students in adult education. It happens all the time. I still don't get why your husband is not making it a point to know his son more than looking at his facebook page.

 

[creativeamanda]

This is completely different. But I won't elaborate.

It is not different. He fathered a child. It is his responsibility to support the child. Period. I don't know when I'll stop supporting my children, but I can be sure it'll be after they turn 18.

My parents gave me the money for the closing on my house. I was 27.

 

[Rebelmom67]

This is completely different. But I won't elaborate.

You don't have to. There is always someone to knock you down in your time of need, obviously.

 

[musclemouse]

Good point.


I am happily married with three children. So , I always side with the child I think it is sad when people resent the child (“the kid”) for whatever reason. The child did not ask to be born into this situation.

It breaks my heart to see fathers wishing away their child’s youth. They can’t wait until they turn 18 so they don’t have to shell out any more money for their own flesh and blood. They go on and create new families and the child from the previous relationship is now looked upon as a money sucker

I know that there are varying degrees of this scenario, and I am NOT accusing the OP of being in this kind of situation I think I was rubbed the wrong way by the callous reference of the child….”The kid”.

May God bless that “kid”. He doesn’t even live in the same state as his father. And, according to the OP, the mom seems a bit whacky. So, who does this “kid” have to look up to? I would be more concerned with why my step son quit school. It seems as if he is off to a rough start in life.

Again, my heart goes with the child

Okay to make you understand a little bit more. $1500 a month. Where is it going? Not to college! There was no money saved. He should be wealthy by now! NO?!

 

[RitaE]

Does your DH not get copies of Report Cards and other information?

All the separated parents I'm aware of, the non-custodial parent gets full access to that information mailed to them.

I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that you and your husband apparently have bothered to find out what kind of vehicle the money-grubber Ex is driving, but you don't know if or when your husband's child is attending school.

If that were my kid, I would be on the school's doorstep yesterday demanding to see his file.

 

[creativeamanda]

Does your DH not get copies of Report Cards and other information?

All the separated parents I'm aware of, the non-custodial parent gets full access to that information mailed to them.

I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that you and your husband apparently have bothered to find out what kind of vehicle the money-grubber Ex is driving, but you don't know if or when your husband's child is attending school.

If that were my kid, I would be on the school's doorstep yesterday demanding to see his file.

Exactly.

 

[musclemouse]

DVCajun, some of us just believe that it is right to sopport the people you create. It doesn't have to do with who is getting money. I've been married 20 years, and I can tell you that my husband is a man of honor. He would never base taking care of our children on what a court ordered.

It amazes me how often it is the wife of the slacker dad that is whining about shild support. You knew he had children when you married him. They are a part of the package.

You just don't get it. I'm sorry.

 

[tasha99]

Does your DH not get copies of Report Cards and other information?

All the separated parents I'm aware of, the non-custodial parent gets full access to that information mailed to them.

I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that you and your husband apparently have bothered to find out what kind of vehicle the money-grubber Ex is driving, but you don't know if or when your husband's child is attending school.

If that were my kid, I would be on the school's doorstep yesterday demanding to see his file.

The school wouldn't allow you to see his file since he's 18.

I believe 18 is still a kid for child support purposes IF the kid is still in school. I think my divorce decree provides for child support up to age 22 if the kids are still in college, but I'm not sure. It turned out to be irrelevant for DS18 who quit HS to join the Marines (he got 99th percentile on a few of his GED section scores, so it wasn't that he was bad at school. He just always wanted to be a soldier like his dad.)

I think the OP should see an attorney, but I also think it's reasonable to still give financial support to the boy, especially if he's in school.

 

[creativeamanda]

The school wouldn't allow you to see his file since he's 18.
I believe 18 is still a kid for child support purposes IF the kid is still in school. I think my divorce decree provides for child support up to age 22 if the kids are still in college, but I'm not sure.

That's not true. Working in education, I know that a court order could open those records to anyone who wants to see them. A court order can be obtained without a lawyer.


Thing is, perhaps what the OP needs to do is since the 18 yo is a legal adult, petition the court for the $$ to go straight to that adult or straight to tuition for school. Problem solved.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

It is not different. He fathered a child. It is his responsibility to support the child. Period. I don't know when I'll stop supporting my children, but I can be sure it'll be after they turn 18.

My parents gave me the money for the closing on my house. I was 27.

The father has the responsibility to support the CHILD not the child's mother. In most states that legal obligation ends at the age of 18 or upon high school graduation.

You don't have to. There is always someone to knock you down in your time of need, obviously.

Yes there is. Zip up your flame suit, OP. Threads like this do get nasty. Some of us out there understand your frustration and that you aren't the greedy wicked stepmother that other posters are making you out to be. If you need to vent to someone that has been there then feel free to PM me.

Okay to make you understand a little bit more. $1500 a month. Where is it going? Not to college! There was no money saved. He should be wealthy by now! NO?!

Was that amount court ordered based on income or just an amount that your DH agreed to?

My DH's ex makes more money from child support than she made working full time at a bank.

 

[Liberty Belle]

You just don't get it. I'm sorry.

It's hard to understand where you're coming from.

 

[musclemouse]

I'm sorry. I just didn't realize that these types of boards have "flaming". I belong to another forum and we all support each other regardless. Anyway...nuf of that.

I guess it's just way too complicating to voice our situation here. Please disregard my post...though it will be hard for some people.

I will just take the advice of some and work on saving some money attorney.

Sorry for raising y'all blood pressure.

 

[creativeamanda]

OP, the best thing you can do for yourself is take the decree to an attorney and get him to draft a letter requesting transcripts.

If the kid is still going to school, then you can't do anything.

The cost for that letter may be a couple hundred dollars.

 

[disneyjunkie]

This is completely different. But I won't elaborate.

Why is it different? Your husband has 3 children. You think he should stop supporting one child because he's 18 and may or may not be attending school.

If this applies to one child, shouldn't it apply to them all?