Child support question

[hentob]

Thank you. I am very proud of my DS.

You should be

 

[bunny]

Hentob, obviously you have never been in a custody battle. Sometimes if you love your children as much as you are saying, you let go for a while to allow your children some chance of a normal childhood. It is very emotionally draining for a everyone including the children.

 

[hentob]

Hentob, obviously you have never been in a custody battle. Sometimes if you love your children as much as you are saying, you let go for a while to allow your children some chance of a normal childhood. It is very emotionally draining for a everyone including the children.

What is normal about living with a parent that lies and keeps the children away from their other parent?

You don't have to be in a custody battle to know you don't EVER "let go" of your baby

Never ever.

 

[bunny]

You are not throwing your child to the wolves or to a complete stranger. He is living with his biological mother/father. And you try to keep in touch as well as you can. BTW, I hope you never have to get divorced and only get to see your child every other weekend or in terms of a long distance situation every few months, I don't think you could survive or your children could survive.

 

[bunny]

Unfortunately the court system doesn't seem to care that much about whether the custodial parent lies or denies custody. The only person that wins in those battles is the lawyer.

 

[hentob]

You are not throwing your child to the wolves.....

Um, someone that is keeping a child away from a loving parent is worse than throwing them to the wolves


And my children would deserve way more than "Keeping in touch as well as I can". It would be the battle of my life! They certainly wouldn’t be finding out that I loved them through court papers years later

 

[bunny]

I hope the courts are starting to see it this way as well. But 20 or 30 years ago fathers were basically seen as a paycheck.

 

[allison443]

I would have to say the mother of your dhs son must have gone after some extremely wealthy men to be able to live off of 3 child support checks. Even with 3 times the amount my ex pays (assuming he does) I could not live a decent life. And that is with one dd not six kids! So essentially 8 people (six kids, dh, and mom) are living off of three child support checks and the mom drives a new escalade?

I think OP said $1500 a month..if each pays $1500, that's $4500 a month-child support isn't taxed as income to the recipient, right? So that's pretty good, I think...I don't know about the escalade, though..

 

[creativeamanda]

I think OP said $1500 a month..if each pays $1500, that's $4500 a month-child support isn't taxed as income to the recipient, right? So that's pretty good, I think...I don't know about the escalade, though..

I think child support is taxable income.

 

[creativeamanda]

I think child support is taxable income.

I stand corrected.

Are child support payments considered taxable income?

No. Child support payments are neither deductible by the payor nor taxable to the payee. When you total your gross income to see if you are required to file a tax return, do not include child support payments received. For additional information, refer to Tax Topic 422, Nontaxable Income, or Publication 504, Divorced or Separated Individuals.

www.irs.gov

 

[MushyMushy]

You are not throwing your child to the wolves or to a complete stranger. He is living with his biological mother/father. And you try to keep in touch as well as you can. BTW, I hope you never have to get divorced and only get to see your child every other weekend or in terms of a long distance situation every few months, I don't think you could survive or your children could survive.

You don't have to see the children every single day to have a relationship. There are plenty of other ways to maintain a relationship. And I'm sorry, but not knowing if your child is even in school or not is not maintaining a relationship.

 

[Amlee]

Sorry—I have to disagree with you here.

If you want to be a part of your child's life, you fight every day. You stand outside or their home and scream "I LOVE YOU!" You make it a point to get to court every day of the year. You hire lawyer after lawyer. You call the news stations and have them report on the woman that is keeping your babies from you. You call the police. You go to their school. You go to their football games, their baseball games, their dance recitals, etc.

You don't wait until they are old enough to read the court reports.

Believe me, God himself could not keep my husband or myself away from our children. We would fight to the death to be with them.


And I certainly would NOT have the time to create another family. How do you get time to even meet people when you are fighting every day of your life to be with your child?


There would be no other purpose in life.

Until you have truly walked in those shoes. You have no idea what you would do.

Well lets see it doesn't help when your ex is sleeping with the judge over seeing the case. At that time the law stated the case had to stay with the orginial judge. So another judge couldn't take it over.

When the kids did visit (I can only think of 4 maybe 5 visits in 10 years), it ended up being a nightmare. Because the next week it would be back in court. If we got anything that she thought was of value, she would take my dad to court wanting to know how he could afford that.

Example: My mother got a used van with almost 100k miles on it. The ex came down the road and took pictures of it the week it was bought. The next week the courts ordered the van sold and the money given to the ex. Because if we could afford a van then he could afford to give the money to his kids. ON TOP OF THE CHILD SUPPORT!

When my dad broke his back and was unable to work. He was flat on his back in a hospital bed in our dining room. His lawyer went to court to get Child Support lowered. The ex went after my mother's pay for his child support. He was in a body cast from under his arms to below his waist. The judge ordered his arrest for non-support (he was 2 days late in making a payment), the cops that were sent to pick him up, refused to do so. The judge ordered him in court the next day. The amdulance had to come pick him and he had to be rolled into court on a gurney.

This was mean of us all, but when that judge died we all let out a breath of relief. Because it was never stopped until then.

His kids thought the worse of him. He was never given the chance to show them that he loved them. Christmas gifts would be returned unopened. My mother kept them all. Years later she showed them to his kids so they could see that he tried. He would try to go to their games, but would be asked to leave the property or be arrested. It's not a matter of not trying. It's not a matter of giving up. It was a matter of wait and hope for him.

His kids are now 40, 38, and 33. Sadly they all 3 still see him for his money. The oldest comes around because his kids love their papa and nana(my mother). The younger 2 only when they need or want something. Not a one of them contacted him on father's day or his birthday. He called all 3 of them on theirs.

 

[allison443]

Child support is just enough to cover a childs living expenses, not the mothers. If he isn't paying alimony, there is no way that it is possible for her to live off it.

Actually in our state, the child support you pay is based on a percentage of your income. So a parent earning $100,000 per year pays more than a parent earning $40,000 per year. There is no set amount that is "just enough to cover the living expenses". I think if you got to a high enough income level, or had multiple kids, there would certainly be a way to live off it. Of course there seem to be a lot of problems with getting the support paid in a lot of cases.

 

[SamIAm21]

My dh pays child support in MN to a woman who has been trying to find loopholes to continue the child support. The kid turned 18 in July. He quit high school this past January. They found out that they can continue child support if he goes to secondary school. So they found out that an online high school qualifies as secondary school - enough to continue child support. BUT he is only going half time (which means he's ordered to pay until he turns 20) according to the county and the state says he's going full time. ALSO he may be attending college away from home but we don't know how to get information stating that he is since he college won't give out info. We need to get an attorney but I think there are ways to go about getting info without doing so. We just can't afford an attorney and we are at a complete loss. The amount of money we pay is astronomical! You would think he was a celebrity with the amount that he pays.

Anyone have any suggestions? Please.

Thank you

No suggestions, only to tell you that my DH still pays child support on his 25 year old daughter because she continually changes her college major and continues to go to school. As long as she's in college we pay child support and half of college tuition.

 

[bunny]

At what point does some responsibility go to the adult children? The OPs stepson is 18. Could he talk to his dad on the phone and tell him what is going on? Or is it that he also only views the dad as an ATM?

 

[hentob]

Until you have truly walked in those shoes. You have no idea what you would do.

With all due respect, I DO know what I would do. I DO know that I would fight everyday of my life to be with my children. Nothing else would matter. Not child support, not who is doing what and paying for what. Nothing. I would die fighting for my children.

I am sure there are many people that feel exactly the same way that I do.

He would try to go to their games, but would be asked to leave the property or be arrested.

Why?

 

[I_Know_You2!]

With all due respect, I DO know what I would do. I DO know that I would fight everyday of my life to be with my children. Nothing else would matter. Not child support, not who is doing what and paying for what. Nothing. I would die fighting for my children.

I am sure there are many people that feel exactly the same way that I do.

I'm with you. I also know the man I married would never allow anything to affect his relationship with his kids. You gotta love a man/woman of character.

 

[lillygator]

You gotta love a man/woman of character.

 

[musclemouse]

At what point does some responsibility go to the adult children? The OPs stepson is 18. Could he talk to his dad on the phone and tell him what is going on? Or is it that he also only views the dad as an ATM?

Mom views DH as an ATM and I'm not possitive but that would rub off on the son I'm sure. I don't know if son knew about his bio father until he was much older. Only knowing the two men in her life as fathers before her now husband. DH feels bad for the kid. But what can he do? The state cares about the child getting money regardless of anything. They won't send DH anything, won't update him, nothing. It's impossible to get anything from the county or the state, let alone the mom or son. Thanks Bunny