Child-free, but not by choice?

[aclov]

I haven't really posted in a while but I just wanted to let everyone know that I did not come back from disney world with a nice little surprise i may not have a baby but I sure can cry like one.
AF just showed her stupid ugly face today I'm really just ready to throw in the towel. And to make things worse, I cannot get my Dh to go and do his SA! that is one of the major keys to knowing weather or not we can conceive at all! I'm so tired of all of this.

Sorry for all the complaining....it's just been one of those weeks where everything that happens makes me feel so worthless. I hope everyone else on this thread is doing better than me today.

thanks for reading

I'm sorry you are feeling this way and don't think you are complaining! You have every right, I know other people may not understand but we can. I have my days too were I just feel like I have absolutely nothing. And than if a friend announces she's pregnant or just had a baby I feel miserable. It's not that I'm not happy for them but I just want that for myself. I know DH's are frustrating sometimes! Mine did the whole IVF thing with me but I can't get him to talk adoption. He just won't have it. All this is so stressful! I can totally relate.

 

[aclov]

Suzanne:

I know what you mean about Christmas. We don't have any children in our family and it's not the same. My husband has a great-nephew that is 4 and that's it. It does put a damper on the holidays. It's to the point, were DH doesn't even want to put up a tree.

 

[Leger13]

My mom's brother (62) and sister (58) are suing her because it has taken 6 years for my grandmother's estate to be settled. They are the primary reason it hasn't been done, but they want to blame her. They want her to pay rent for the time it has taken to get this taken care of, because she was living in my grandparents house, and has for the last 22-23 years, since my grandfather passed away. My mom is the executrix of the estate and they have been at her throat since she started probating the will in 2003 or 2004. It is a long hellish story and I am ready for it to be over. I am buying my grandparents house, because of the sentimental value (my family is the only one that has ever lived in it) and my grandfather built it. The sun rose and set in him. He was my "daddy" (my father wasn't in my life after he left my mom) until he passed away when I was 5 and my mom and I moved in with my grandmother and my mom paid all of the bills until my grandmother turned 62 and started getting Social Security. My mom has paid all of the upkeep and taxes since her death. Apparently they wanted my mom to move out until the estate was settled and rent it out for them (not that they had any say), but they never mentioned that they wanted her to pay rent so now they are being a**es. It is all a mess and I am tired of it. We (mom, Dh, and I) went to court yesterday to petition the judge for the purchase of the house, so now we are just waiting for a corrected copy of the petition to take to the mortgage company, so we can close. I wish they were in he**. They have really put my mom through it and you know I worry about her.

With all that this family has been through the last 6 years, I am surprised I am still married. We got married 5 months after my grandmother passed away and will celebrate our 6th Anniversary while we are at WDW in December, and my mom needs to get away. With not being able to have a baby, Christmas just isn't the same. We used to have huge Christmases in this house and I miss all of the childrens laughter, so I haven't really celebrated in a few years and haven't put up a tree since 2004 and only did that because DH had been gone for the Army for 2 months. Maybe I can celebrate again in a few years.

My goodness you have been through a lot!! It's awesome that you and your husband have been able to be strong through it all though. You know that no matter what you will be together forever. I can't believe your mom's siblings are being such butts about the whole situation. I just don't understand how most ppl can be focused about $ after a family member passes away, especially when it's a parent! Plus, ya'll have been living in that house for what sounds like forever so you should have rights to it anyways w/o having to pay your mom's siblings rent. They haven't been paying upkeep and taxes all these years, your mom and you and your dh have!! Ugh! Attitudes like your mom's siblings just infurriate me!!!

I hear you on christmas too. Although ours is a little different. I have 5 nephews and 2 neices and they all live in georgia now so every christmas is filled with kids. I would rather have a nice quiet christmas or just pass over it all together. I can't bring myself to put up a tree either. My sister passed away the day after christmas in 1995 (she was 17 years old) so that makes it hard too. Everyone keeps telling me that it will get better once we have children...well, we all see how well that has worked out. So I totally feel your pain with the whole christmas issue. It sucks celebrating holidays anymore and just dreaming about the children that you should be holding in your arms by now I'm glad to hear that you all will be in WDW this christmas though. That should make it MUCH more magical for you. You'll have to tell me how it is because we are taking my in-laws to disney for christmas next year and i've never been during the holidays. It looks amazing and it makes me look forward to that christmas at least. We all deserve better and we all deserve to be happy. Disney is one of the best ways to make that happen.

great big hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss to both of you.. I hope there is a silver lining in the clouds for you both soon!!

thank you and back. I hope the silver lining comes soon for everyone on this thread too. I am starting to not even be able to see the light anymore. ugh!

I'm sorry you are feeling this way and don't think you are complaining! You have every right, I know other people may not understand but we can. I have my days too were I just feel like I have absolutely nothing. And than if a friend announces she's pregnant or just had a baby I feel miserable. It's not that I'm not happy for them but I just want that for myself. I know DH's are frustrating sometimes! Mine did the whole IVF thing with me but I can't get him to talk adoption. He just won't have it. All this is so stressful! I can totally relate.

thank you for understanding. I knew joining this group would be a good idea. You all are so awesome. I'm the same way when I hear someone else is pregnant or just had a baby. Especially if they get pregnant w/o even really trying. It just comes so easily to ppl that seem like they don't deserve it or just don't care and so hard for thsoe of us that want to be parents. I just don't get it sometimes. I feel like a hypocrite when I don't feel happy for others that get what they want....but it's an emotion that I know if I don't embrace it and let it out it will only get worse. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. That stinks that you can't get your DH to talk adoption. MyDH used to be that way but he seems more open to the idea now. I just want to know for sure that we can't have any of our own before we go down that road. Maybe if you find a couple that has a successful adoption and show your DH how well it can go he will be more open to it I think that is what is making my DH come around to the idea. My brother and sis-in-law adopted their 2nd son and he's adorable, happy and a great little guy. He fits right in. Anyways, not sure if you've tried something like that already but it's an idea. It's so hard to bring up a subject like that w/o sounding like you're trying to be forcefull.

Anyways, that got longer than i thought but I'm here for you as I am here for all the other ladies here and happy that you all are here for me too. I'm really feeling much better.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne:

I know what you mean about Christmas. We don't have any children in our family and it's not the same. My husband has a great-nephew that is 4 and that's it. It does put a damper on the holidays. It's to the point, were DH doesn't even want to put up a tree.

Well, my cousin has 3 children that we are very close too, but Christmas day their mom likes to keep them close to home so they can play with their toys, so we only see them for about 10 minutes when we take them their presents. Christmas was a big deal at our house when we were growing up, there was usually 13 people there and there are 5 of us that are pretty close in age, so we had a great time, even when we got older. But now everyone has pulled their crap on us and it is just 3 of us fro Christmas day and I usually have a break down, especially during the Disney Christmas parade on TV, because they show alot of families with little children . I am tearing up just typing about it.

After we get this thing with my grandmothers will settled, I might look into adoption again, but I don't know. DH is up for anything I want, as long as I am happy or don't talk about it. I have said some pretty bad things to him along the way.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

great big hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss to both of you.. I hope there is a silver lining in the clouds for you both soon!!

Thank you Debbie, I keep seeing a glimmer of it, but then that cloud turns around and rains on me. Maybe it is sticking it's tongue out at me

 

[debbiet1]

your silver lining will come I have faith! I want nothing but the best for everyone on here

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Leger, we went to WDW last December for a week and weren't supposed to go again until December 2008, but have been twice since and going this December, then again in April/May and December 2008 as well. It is by far my favorite time to go, cause I really am a big kid.

I don't really notice other children when we are there,except maybe once in a while when one is being really cute, so I'm not bothered by being at WDW, I know I'm strange.

I am going to miss Debbie, because we leave the day she arrives, since adding another night, but I am hoping to meet Missie, because we are there almost the same days she is.

DH wasn't really on board about adoption, but the more he thinks about it, the more he is into it. I don't really think his family would be happy about it, but I don't really care. If he ever decides to be against it, I will show him the door.

OH OH, I almost forgot, DH is taking me to see Sugarland and Little Big Town for our Anniversary. They are coming to town the Saturday before we leave for WDW and the weekend after our Anniversary I am so excited, we haven't been to a concert in a while.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

your silver lining will come I have faith! I want nothing but the best for everyone on here

Thank you so much. Now, about what time will you be arriving at WDW on December 23, we have added another night and will check out that morning, but probably won't leave for home until later?

 

[billwendy]

Hi Everyone,

My DH "says" he'd adopt, but then I cant get him to move on and do all the work with me - what should I do??????????????????????????

Wendy

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Everyone,

My DH "says" he'd adopt, but then I cant get him to move on and do all the work with me - what should I do??????????????????????????

Wendy

Oh Wendy, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe have the agency send you a packet adn start without him and see if he gets on board. My Dh does what I tell him to do most of the time, so I don't really know. I would show mine the door, because he isn't going to do that to me. Being a mother is too important to me, to let him stand in the way. I know I sound really strange, but my DH is very childish and well, most of the time his elevator doesn't reach the top floor.

 

[Leger13]

Well, my cousin has 3 children that we are very close too, but Christmas day their mom likes to keep them close to home so they can play with their toys, so we only see them for about 10 minutes when we take them their presents. Christmas was a big deal at our house when we were growing up, there was usually 13 people there and there are 5 of us that are pretty close in age, so we had a great time, even when we got older. But now everyone has pulled their crap on us and it is just 3 of us fro Christmas day and I usually have a break down, especially during the Disney Christmas parade on TV, because they show alot of families with little children . I am tearing up just typing about it.

After we get this thing with my grandmothers will settled, I might look into adoption again, but I don't know. DH is up for anything I want, as long as I am happy or don't talk about it. I have said some pretty bad things to him along the way.

that's good that your DH is up for adoption and pretty much anything you want. infertility and all the stress that goes with it makes some ugly things come out of ppls mouths. I know, I've done it too.

Leger, we went to WDW last December for a week and weren't supposed to go again until December 2008, but have been twice since and going this December, then again in April/May and December 2008 as well. It is by far my favorite time to go, cause I really am a big kid.

I don't really notice other children when we are there,except maybe once in a while when one is being really cute, so I'm not bothered by being at WDW, I know I'm strange.

I am going to miss Debbie, because we leave the day she arrives, since adding another night, but I am hoping to meet Missie, because we are there almost the same days she is.

DH wasn't really on board about adoption, but the more he thinks about it, the more he is into it. I don't really think his family would be happy about it, but I don't really care. If he ever decides to be against it, I will show him the door.

OH OH, I almost forgot, DH is taking me to see Sugarland and Little Big Town for our Anniversary. They are coming to town the Saturday before we leave for WDW and the weekend after our Anniversary I am so excited, we haven't been to a concert in a while.

thats awesome that you've been to disney during christmas soooo much!! I can't wait to go!! What are the dates for '08 that you are going? I asume you will be there closer to christmas. we'll be there the 6th through the 13th since that seemed to be the cheapest. kDisney christmas here I come!!!

and how exciting that you get to go to the sugarland and little big town concert for your anniversary!! Ya'll will have a TON of fun!!! What venue are you seeing them at? I heard they were coming to Atlanta but not sure when. I wanna go and see josh turner in concert next time around. I just love him!!

Hi Everyone,

My DH "says" he'd adopt, but then I cant get him to move on and do all the work with me - what should I do??????????????????????????

Wendy

hmmmm, if it were me, I'd do all the research until i found some places i liked and then get him to fill in what info from him i needed that i couldn't fill in myself. But I am a control freak so I'd want to do all the research myself anyways. MyDH and I tend to argue when we both do research and then try to convince the other that what we found was better. We're such little kids when it comes to being right that it's better if one of us handles the paper work andjust tells the other where to sign and how much $ it will be I hope your DH comes around and starts helping you.

 

[debbiet1]

we plan on being there bright and early on the 23rd as we are HOPING to arrive in Orlando on the 22nd.. it all depends on the weather we hit on the drive down. It would be great to meet up for a HI!!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

we plan on being there bright and early on the 23rd as we are HOPING to arrive in Orlando on the 22nd.. it all depends on the weather we hit on the drive down. It would be great to meet up for a HI!!

I was thinking that would be really cool. I have to reschedule our breakfast at BOMA to that morning, but I am shooting for 10:30am and we will check out just before that, but we usually hang around until about 2:00 to 3:00.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

that's good that your DH is up for adoption and pretty much anything you want. infertility and all the stress that goes with it makes some ugly things come out of ppls mouths. I know, I've done it too.



thats awesome that you've been to disney during christmas soooo much!! I can't wait to go!! What are the dates for '08 that you are going? I asume you will be there closer to christmas. we'll be there the 6th through the 13th since that seemed to be the cheapest. kDisney christmas here I come!!!

and how exciting that you get to go to the sugarland and little big town concert for your anniversary!! Ya'll will have a TON of fun!!! What venue are you seeing them at? I heard they were coming to Atlanta but not sure when. I wanna go and see josh turner in concert next time around. I just love him!!



hmmmm, if it were me, I'd do all the research until i found some places i liked and then get him to fill in what info from him i needed that i couldn't fill in myself. But I am a control freak so I'd want to do all the research myself anyways. MyDH and I tend to argue when we both do research and then try to convince the other that what we found was better. We're such little kids when it comes to being right that it's better if one of us handles the paper work andjust tells the other where to sign and how much $ it will be I hope your DH comes around and starts helping you.

Well, I just found out that it is on Friday night and not Saturday night, so I won't be going after all, I work from 3:00pm to 11:30pm. But, they are at the Civic Center in Columbus, Ga. Kenny Chesney is my favorite, I saw him before he became a big star

We are going December 13-21, 2008, because most of it is still in the Value season and we will miss Pop Warner and most of Mousefest. Besides I got a great price for the AS Music Family Suites from AAA. Also it runs into our Christmas holiday at work and I will end up being off like 1 day short of 2 weeks, talk about a vacation.

This year will only be our second Christmas trip. Someday I am going to go to Super Soap Weekend, MNSSHP, Food and Wine Festival, and Star Wars Weekends, hope I didn't miss something.

 

[debbiet1]

where abouts is BOMA?

 

[Leger13]

Well, I just found out that it is on Friday night and not Saturday night, so I won't be going after all, I work from 3:00pm to 11:30pm. But, they are at the Civic Center in Columbus, Ga. Kenny Chesney is my favorite, I saw him before he became a big star

We are going December 13-21, 2008, because most of it is still in the Value season and we will miss Pop Warner and most of Mousefest. Besides I got a great price for the AS Music Family Suites from AAA. Also it runs into our Christmas holiday at work and I will end up being off like 1 day short of 2 weeks, talk about a vacation.

This year will only be our second Christmas trip. Someday I am going to go to Super Soap Weekend, MNSSHP, Food and Wine Festival, and Star Wars Weekends, hope I didn't miss something.

awww that stinks that you're not getting to go Maybe next time. If Josh Turner is in concert near you when he comes around again you should go see him. I LOVE him!!

Sounds like ya'll are gonna have a GREAT vacation this time. 2 weeks off!? You go!! My DH had 3 weeks or something like that off this time. He got lucky there. He enjoyed every moment of it. I wish I could take that much time off at once. Maybe some day.

When and what is mouse fest and pop warner? Now I'm scared that when we're gonna be there next year all that will be going on off to do more research I go.

MNSSHP is AWESOME!! I've been to disney around the time of the food and wine fest but haven't participated. I'm not into all that tasting but it looks like fun for those that are. Star Wars weekends is crowded but WORTH it!! I've got some great photos and great souveniers from Star Wars Weekends.

 

[aclov]

Hi Everyone,

My DH "says" he'd adopt, but then I cant get him to move on and do all the work with me - what should I do??????????????????????????

Wendy

Hi Wendy!

That's great news. Can I ask if your doing domestic or international?

DH's former boss adopted a little girl from Guatemala a few years back, she's the cutest thing. But he says he still wants his own child. Right now, I just started working again so financially we can't do it, but if we had the funds this would be a huge argument between us.

 

[perfectparanoia]

Wow is it ever good to hear that others like me are also still going to the world even after all the losses and the struggles and the heartbreak.

I have been trying for 2 years now and have gotten pregnant right away. And then miscarried at 10, 6, and 8 weeks.

They say that there is not much we can do but keep trying but I needed a rest from the strain so I planned to wait until after our next Disney Vacation (which isn't until March).

Two more trys and then I am ready to give up the ghost (and pressure!) and adopt. There must be some reason this is happening so I will continue to believe that everything will work out in the end.

My prayers are with all of you.

 

[Leger13]

Wow is it ever good to hear that others like me are also still going to the world even after all the losses and the struggles and the heartbreak.

I have been trying for 2 years now and have gotten pregnant right away. And then miscarried at 10, 6, and 8 weeks.

They say that there is not much we can do but keep trying but I needed a rest from the strain so I planned to wait until after our next Disney Vacation (which isn't until March).

Two more trys and then I am ready to give up the ghost (and pressure!) and adopt. There must be some reason this is happening so I will continue to believe that everything will work out in the end.

My prayers are with all of you.

awww...welcome! And a for you. I'm fairly new here too but I've felt so welcomed by all the ladies here. They are a great support group!

That stinks that you have had so many miscarriages. My DH's aunt went through the same thing. I wish I could tell you that she went on to have a full term pregnancy but she didn't, so I can't say that. She's had a rough road but she's in her late 40's now and is just as happy as can be with no children. It's sad but she's done well. That's great that you are into the idea of adoption. It's hard to keep hoping and praying all the time that just THIS time it will work out. There are lots of children out there that are needing loving homes so adoption is a great rout to go down. My SIL adopted and he is just the cutest little boy. It's worked out perfectly.

I, and all the other ladies here are here for you. Feel free to open up here It's better to let it out to those that can sympathise than to hear "it will happen when it's supposed to" from others that mean well but just end up saying the wrong thing.



You're not alone!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

where abouts is BOMA?

BOMA is the buffet at AKL, the food looked so good I decided to book a late breakfast there on our last day. Normally on our short trips, we only do one TS, but BOMA is inexpensive (at least to me) and we can get the AP 20% discount, so we decided to try it.