Child-free, but not by choice?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Wow is it ever good to hear that others like me are also still going to the world even after all the losses and the struggles and the heartbreak.

I have been trying for 2 years now and have gotten pregnant right away. And then miscarried at 10, 6, and 8 weeks.

They say that there is not much we can do but keep trying but I needed a rest from the strain so I planned to wait until after our next Disney Vacation (which isn't until March).

Two more trys and then I am ready to give up the ghost (and pressure!) and adopt. There must be some reason this is happening so I will continue to believe that everything will work out in the end.

My prayers are with all of you.

Hi and welcome to the group. I am sorry to hear about your losses, that must me really tough. I am in the category of never been pregnant. Have they checked your Progesterone levels. The RE: I saw always did that with women that had suffered a loss and giving them a supplement until about 12-16 weeks would solve that problem, some few even took it the whole 9 months.

Disney sure is a great stress reliever isn't it. I have to wait until my family settles my grandmother's estate before I can even think about jumping back on the bandwagon, if I ever do. I stick around because this is a great bunch. If you are having a problem, rant, issue, one or more of them is here to comfort you. I hope that some day we will all come back only to talk about the issues with our children, me included.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

awww that stinks that you're not getting to go Maybe next time. If Josh Turner is in concert near you when he comes around again you should go see him. I LOVE him!!

Sounds like ya'll are gonna have a GREAT vacation this time. 2 weeks off!? You go!! My DH had 3 weeks or something like that off this time. He got lucky there. He enjoyed every moment of it. I wish I could take that much time off at once. Maybe some day.

When and what is mouse fest and pop warner? Now I'm scared that when we're gonna be there next year all that will be going on off to do more research I go.

MNSSHP is AWESOME!! I've been to disney around the time of the food and wine fest but haven't participated. I'm not into all that tasting but it looks like fun for those that are. Star Wars weekends is crowded but WORTH it!! I've got some great photos and great souveniers from Star Wars Weekends.

I love Josh Turner's new song "Firecracker", I told my DH that I was his Dynamite. Clint Black is going to be here next Friday night (won't get to go), Montgomery Gentry was just here 2 weeks ago, but I didn't go because it was an outside concert on Post and that kind of concert is a nightmare, and I can't stand that long because I have plantar fasciitis in both feet. Brand Paisley, Jack Ingram, Kelly Pickler, and Taylor Swift were here earlier this year, but I didn't go because I saw Brad last year with Sara Evans and Billy Currington. I wanted to see Tim and Faith in Atlanta, but I don't remember why I didn't go.

I am looking forward to a 2 week vacation, I have never had that much time off without actually being jobless. I am crossing my fingers that my time is approved, but my Supervisor is great about letting you take whatever time off you want.

Now, Pop Warner is a tween/teen Football and Cheerleader Competition. Their Finals are held every December at World Of Sports at WDW. The kids are at the All Stars resorts with over flow I believe at CBR. The crowds are not bad, especially during the day, but do get a little heavier in the evening, my problem was how rude and misbehaved those kids are. Parents just let them loose at the parks and don't watch them. My mom watched a group of girls come into the restroom and slap a balloon in a womans face and run into the stall in front of her. One person here on the boards told about a scenario at CP where a parent pitched a fit because they charged her adult prices for the "kids" that were teens, and was really ugly to the waiter. Now I am used to tweens/teens, but not behaving that way.

Mousefest is a group of Disney fans that gathers for a week, first for a 3 or 4 day cruise and then 4-5 days at the parks. We left last year before they had this, so I don't know what the crowds were like. If you look at their even schedule and plan accordingly, you would probably miss them altogether.

If the crowds are too bad this year, we might consider moving our trip back one week, but probably not.

I am taking a GF from work and my mom to the Flower and Garden Festival in April/May 2008, sowe are looking forward to that. My GF lived in Fl most of her life, but only went to WDW once when her son was little and he is my age, and again to the MK for one day several years ago, so she is looking foward to it as well.

 

[Leger13]

I love Josh Turner's new song "Firecracker", I told my DH that I was his Dynamite. Clint Black is going to be here next Friday night (won't get to go), Montgomery Gentry was just here 2 weeks ago, but I didn't go because it was an outside concert on Post and that kind of concert is a nightmare, and I can't stand that long because I have plantar fasciitis in both feet. Brand Paisley, Jack Ingram, Kelly Pickler, and Taylor Swift were here earlier this year, but I didn't go because I saw Brad last year with Sara Evans and Billy Currington. I wanted to see Tim and Faith in Atlanta, but I don't remember why I didn't go.

I am looking forward to a 2 week vacation, I have never had that much time off without actually being jobless. I am crossing my fingers that my time is approved, but my Supervisor is great about letting you take whatever time off you want.

Now, Pop Warner is a tween/teen Football and Cheerleader Competition. Their Finals are held every December at World Of Sports at WDW. The kids are at the All Stars resorts with over flow I believe at CBR. The crowds are not bad, especially during the day, but do get a little heavier in the evening, my problem was how rude and misbehaved those kids are. Parents just let them loose at the parks and don't watch them. My mom watched a group of girls come into the restroom and slap a balloon in a womans face and run into the stall in front of her. One person here on the boards told about a scenario at CP where a parent pitched a fit because they charged her adult prices for the "kids" that were teens, and was really ugly to the waiter. Now I am used to tweens/teens, but not behaving that way.

Mousefest is a group of Disney fans that gathers for a week, first for a 3 or 4 day cruise and then 4-5 days at the parks. We left last year before they had this, so I don't know what the crowds were like. If you look at their even schedule and plan accordingly, you would probably miss them altogether.

If the crowds are too bad this year, we might consider moving our trip back one week, but probably not.

I am taking a GF from work and my mom to the Flower and Garden Festival in April/May 2008, sowe are looking forward to that. My GF lived in Fl most of her life, but only went to WDW once when her son was little and he is my age, and again to the MK for one day several years ago, so she is looking foward to it as well.

haha I told my Dh the same thing. I love Josh's new song. That sucks that you missed all those concerts I have yet to be to any country concerts. They look like tons of fun. Hopefully you will get to go to one soon.

thanks for all that info on pop warner and mousefest. I've gotta keep my eye on all that stuff and make sure we're at least not there during pop warner. Those kids sound horrible!

that's awesome that you are getting to take a friend from work to WDW too on your trip. That will be fun for you all. i can't believe she lived in FL most of her life and only went to WDW once. Wow. I guess it's like the beach for some ppl...if you live close to it you don't really care too much about it. I went to disney world every summer growing up though since i lived so close. but that's only cause my grandmother spoiled me and my sister so much

 

[livndisney]

I have read some posts on this board, I am not sure I "belong" here. I wanted to share a little of my story.

Years ago (ok maybe not THAT many years ago LOL) I was married and I wanted a child in the WORST way. I bought baby clothes all the time and "waited" for it to happen. It never did. I was questioned all the time by family, "WHEN are you going to have a baby" (UGH) I brought up international adoption, he "said" he was ok with it. I started doing the research and got quite excited about FINALLY having a child to share my life with. He decieded he "could not love a child that was not his own". So I got divorced (there were "other" issues as well) and moved on with my life. Fast forward to today, I am the mother of the most amazing little girl. I traveled to pick her up two years ago (THAT was a trip) and have not looked back.

I am very happy with the choices I made and encourage others to consider international adoption. It is an adventure you will NEVER forget

I would also like to say, I never consider adoption as a "2nd" choice. I wanted a family and this is how I choose to do it. I have had people ask me "Oh so you can't have a child on your own?" Duh! she IS my child. (Lord knows she has my mouth LOL). As far as I know there is no medical reason I can't have a child by birth. Adoption was the option that worked for me. Looking back I now understand why I did not have a baby with ex. I know now there was a different plan for me.

 

[Leger13]

I have read some posts on this board, I am not sure I "belong" here. I wanted to share a little of my story.

Years ago (ok maybe not THAT many years ago LOL) I was married and I wanted a child in the WORST way. I bought baby clothes all the time and "waited" for it to happen. It never did. I was questioned all the time by family, "WHEN are you going to have a baby" (UGH) I brought up international adoption, he "said" he was ok with it. I started doing the research and got quite excited about FINALLY having a child to share my life with. He decieded he "could not love a child that was not his own". So I got divorced (there were "other" issues as well) and moved on with my life. Fast forward to today, I am the mother of the most amazing little girl. I traveled to pick her up two years ago (THAT was a trip) and have not looked back.

I am very happy with the choices I made and encourage others to consider international adoption. It is an adventure you will NEVER forget

thank you for sharing your story. I actually brought up international adoption to my DH while we were at WDW this last time because when we were in china at epcot i saw many families at the show in china enjoying themselves with their babies that they adopted from overseas. I thought that was just so precious and got me thinking about international adoption but my DH seemed kind of off to the idea because he said it'd be so obvious that we adopted
i'd love to hear more about your adoption experiance and why you decided to do an international adoption. you can either put it here or PM me. You belong here along with the rest of us. you can give those of us that are considering adoption a little insight to it

 

[livndisney]

One of the families you saw at "Disney's China" may have been us!

I am sending you a PM

 

[Nennie]

Hello Everyone!!

I must say that I've VERY jealous of all these Christmas trips to WDW that everyone has planned!! If my next IVF cycle is a bust, I would love to go to WDW for Christmas (not only b/c it would cheer me up, but I could also avoid all those family get togethers). Unfortunately, by the time I find out my results (Mid November), I think my chances of getting a room will be zero. It would really be a great consolation prize though!


LivnDisney -- Welcome, and thank you for sharing your experience on international adoption! I'm not ready to adopt "yet" but am already thinking about it, and deciding between domestic and international is hard enough, but then if I go international, then picking a country, etc, seems so overwhelming. Would love to hear how you reached your decision!

Leger -- I understand what your DH is saying about adopting a child of another race, and it being obvious that the child is adopted. My DH has his own weird twist on that theory! He is concerned that if we adopt a child from a difference race, then people will assume that he's the step-dad, i.e. that the child is mine from a previous relationship, and he doesn't want people thinking he's the step-dad, etc.

Suzanne -- 2 weeks at Disney??? Woo Hoo!!! What a great vacation that will be!!! I hope your grandmother's estate is resolved soon too. HUGS!

Perfectparanoia -- Hello and Welcome! I'm so very sorry to hear about your losses. Have you had testing done to determine the reason? I had 2 rounds of testing, and fortunately each of my losses was for a different reason, so the RE thinks that they were flukes, and that I can go on to carry a baby to term (if I can get pregnant that is). If you haven't been tested, I would recommend it, even if it's just for peace of mind. Good luck to you!

Hello Hello to everyone I missed!!!

 

[livndisney]

Hello Everyone!!

I must say that I've VERY jealous of all these Christmas trips to WDW that everyone has planned!! If my next IVF cycle is a bust, I would love to go to WDW for Christmas (not only b/c it would cheer me up, but I could also avoid all those family get togethers). Unfortunately, by the time I find out my results (Mid November), I think my chances of getting a room will be zero. It would really be a great consolation prize though!


LivnDisney -- Welcome, and thank you for sharing your experience on international adoption! I'm not ready to adopt "yet" but am already thinking about it, and deciding between domestic and international is hard enough, but then if I go international, then picking a country, etc, seems so overwhelming. Would love to hear how you reached your decision!

Leger -- I understand what your DH is saying about adopting a child of another race, and it being obvious that the child is adopted. My DH has his own weird twist on that theory! He is concerned that if we adopt a child from a difference race, then people will assume that he's the step-dad, i.e. that the child is mine from a previous relationship, and he doesn't want people thinking he's the step-dad, etc.

I had to laugh at this. There is a dear man in my life (and my daughters). He is as far from asian looking as you can get! He is 6 foot tall with curly hair. And I LOVE the looks people give him when he and my daughter walk around. They look at him, then down to her, then back at him and then back to her. It cracks me up every time!

My dd solved the adoption issue shortly after she came home. She came to me one day and told me she did not want to be "adopted" (which scared me to death). She then corrected her limited english and said she did not want to be the only one adopted, so she adopted me and her whole family. So now we are all adopted! When people have actually asked if she was adopted-she will step in and say Yes, I adopted Mommy!

The "different" culture thing has not really been a problem for us. We have a very active FCC group (adoptive families) in my area. The kids all get together once a month (or more) to play etc. We also have cultural events several times a year. To anyone considering adoption, you may want to look into a group near you-it is nice to be able to speak with people who have "been there done that". And it is soooooo great to see the new babies just home!

 

[debbiet1]

Nennie your holiday may not be out as far as you think it is. Mid November I was told there are a lot of cancellations at some people book their holiday and then 45 days before hand cancel out!

 

[Leger13]

Hello Everyone!!

I must say that I've VERY jealous of all these Christmas trips to WDW that everyone has planned!! If my next IVF cycle is a bust, I would love to go to WDW for Christmas (not only b/c it would cheer me up, but I could also avoid all those family get togethers). Unfortunately, by the time I find out my results (Mid November), I think my chances of getting a room will be zero. It would really be a great consolation prize though!


LivnDisney -- Welcome, and thank you for sharing your experience on international adoption! I'm not ready to adopt "yet" but am already thinking about it, and deciding between domestic and international is hard enough, but then if I go international, then picking a country, etc, seems so overwhelming. Would love to hear how you reached your decision!

Leger -- I understand what your DH is saying about adopting a child of another race, and it being obvious that the child is adopted. My DH has his own weird twist on that theory! He is concerned that if we adopt a child from a difference race, then people will assume that he's the step-dad, i.e. that the child is mine from a previous relationship, and he doesn't want people thinking he's the step-dad, etc.

Suzanne -- 2 weeks at Disney??? Woo Hoo!!! What a great vacation that will be!!! I hope your grandmother's estate is resolved soon too. HUGS!

Perfectparanoia -- Hello and Welcome! I'm so very sorry to hear about your losses. Have you had testing done to determine the reason? I had 2 rounds of testing, and fortunately each of my losses was for a different reason, so the RE thinks that they were flukes, and that I can go on to carry a baby to term (if I can get pregnant that is). If you haven't been tested, I would recommend it, even if it's just for peace of mind. Good luck to you!

Hello Hello to everyone I missed!!!

awww I can see where your DH is coming from too on the international adoption. I guess if that's something ya'lll decide to do you will cross the bridge when you come to it. that's all the comfort I can give to my DH at this time too since we haven't really gone down that road yet.

I had to laugh at this. There is a dear man in my life (and my daughters). He is as far from asian looking as you can get! He is 6 foot tall with curly hair. And I LOVE the looks people give him when he and my daughter walk around. They look at him, then down to her, then back at him and then back to her. It cracks me up every time!

My dd solved the adoption issue shortly after she came home. She came to me one day and told me she did not want to be "adopted" (which scared me to death). She then corrected her limited english and said she did not want to be the only one adopted, so she adopted me and her whole family. So now we are all adopted! When people have actually asked if she was adopted-she will step in and say Yes, I adopted Mommy!

The "different" culture thing has not really been a problem for us. We have a very active FCC group (adoptive families) in my area. The kids all get together once a month (or more) to play etc. We also have cultural events several times a year. To anyone considering adoption, you may want to look into a group near you-it is nice to be able to speak with people who have "been there done that". And it is soooooo great to see the new babies just home!

awww that is sooo cute. Your DD adopting you too. I love that. I'm sure you feel in love with her all over again when she said that.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Guys, Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I wish I could say mine was great. I got a call from the loan office and they said that I have to get an area of my ceiling looked at and possibly fixed BEFORE closing as well as someone to come in to check the foundation, because we had some water in the basement (it was built that way, but they won't listen to me). I had a plan to get the ceiling fixed when we decided what we were going to change in the room, but they want something in the works now.

That isn't the worst of it, well money wise it is, but DH and I were going to take some boxes to our storage unit this morning and someone had broken off the lock and bracket and went in and stole all of my baby clothes. They left a dresser, a fan, and a toilet paper holder, but they took all of my baby clothes and toys that I had in those 18 gallon storage tubs. I am sooooo devestated . I probably had $1500 worth of stuff in there. They are not things that can be replaced, some of them even had been my cousins from when she was a baby. Of course I will probably never see any of them again. I probably would never have used them, but they were mine and they were very special to me.

I can't seem to get a break


Nennie, I wish I could go to Disney for 2 weeks. We are going for 8 nights/9 days, but it will run into my time off from work that our company gives us, so I am going to end up with about 2 weeks off. Visiting Disney at Christmas is wonderful. It is so beautiful. Now I want to be gone from there before Dec 24, because I don't want to get caught in the Christmas Eve/Day crowds. I certainly hope if you get to go, it is to celebrate new life.

We have decided that if we do adoopt, we don''t care where the child comes from, it will be ours and no one elses. DH is a little worried about what his family might say, but has decided like me that we don't care, we just want to be parents.

Suzanne

 

[livndisney]

We have decided that if we do adoopt, we don''t care where the child comes from, it will be ours and no one elses. DH is a little worried about what his family might say, but has decided like me that we don't care, we just want to be parents.

Suzanne

Suzanne,

I am so sorry about the storage break in that is terrible.

I wanted to say what you wrote here is a brave statement-GOOD for you!!!!!!!!
I too was worried about my family. They tend to be a little "narrow" minded sometimes. I actually told my dad that I was adopting in a hospital admitting room . I was not sure how he would take it, but wanted to tell him before he "went under the knife". I handed him a pic of my then soon to be daughter. He was looking at it when a nurse came in and said "who is this"? I will NEVER forget what my dad said. He said "That is my grandaughter"! My DD was actually asleep in HIS arms 2 hours after we landed in the US.

 

[Leger13]

Hi Guys, Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I wish I could say mine was great. I got a call from the loan office and they said that I have to get an area of my ceiling looked at and possibly fixed BEFORE closing as well as someone to come in to check the foundation, because we had some water in the basement (it was built that way, but they won't listen to me). I had a plan to get the ceiling fixed when we decided what we were going to change in the room, but they want something in the works now.

That isn't the worst of it, well money wise it is, but DH and I were going to take some boxes to our storage unit this morning and someone had broken off the lock and bracket and went in and stole all of my baby clothes. They left a dresser, a fan, and a toilet paper holder, but they took all of my baby clothes and toys that I had in those 18 gallon storage tubs. I am sooooo devestated . I probably had $1500 worth of stuff in there. They are not things that can be replaced, some of them even had been my cousins from when she was a baby. Of course I will probably never see any of them again. I probably would never have used them, but they were mine and they were very special to me.

I can't seem to get a break


Nennie, I wish I could go to Disney for 2 weeks. We are going for 8 nights/9 days, but it will run into my time off from work that our company gives us, so I am going to end up with about 2 weeks off. Visiting Disney at Christmas is wonderful. It is so beautiful. Now I want to be gone from there before Dec 24, because I don't want to get caught in the Christmas Eve/Day crowds. I certainly hope if you get to go, it is to celebrate new life.

We have decided that if we do adoopt, we don''t care where the child comes from, it will be ours and no one elses. DH is a little worried about what his family might say, but has decided like me that we don't care, we just want to be parents.

Suzanne

wow, sounds like you've had an even worse weekend than me. My garage door broke and that's it. I hope that all the stuff with your house closing works out I know that can be stressful

Suzanne,

I am so sorry about the storage break in that is terrible.

I wanted to say what you wrote here is a brave statement-GOOD for you!!!!!!!!
I too was worried about my family. They tend to be a little "narrow" minded sometimes. I actually told my dad that I was adopting in a hospital admitting room . I was not sure how he would take it, but wanted to tell him before he "went under the knife". I handed him a pic of my then soon to be daughter. He was looking at it when a nurse came in and said "who is this"? I will NEVER forget what my dad said. He said "That is my grandaughter"! My DD was actually asleep in HIS arms 2 hours after we landed in the US.

wow that's an awesome story. Some people can just really amaze you. I'm so glad to hear your dad embraced your DD so well.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne,

I am so sorry about the storage break in that is terrible.

I wanted to say what you wrote here is a brave statement-GOOD for you!!!!!!!!
I too was worried about my family. They tend to be a little "narrow" minded sometimes. I actually told my dad that I was adopting in a hospital admitting room . I was not sure how he would take it, but wanted to tell him before he "went under the knife". I handed him a pic of my then soon to be daughter. He was looking at it when a nurse came in and said "who is this"? I will NEVER forget what my dad said. He said "That is my grandaughter"! My DD was actually asleep in HIS arms 2 hours after we landed in the US.

Thank you. I really don't care what my child looks like, all children are precious. I just want to be a mother, my prejudice comes in that I really want an infant. I also can't take on a child with serious medical problems, because it would not be fair to the child because I can't be a SAHM, and I can't give them the extra attention they may need. So many of the children on the Alabama website have severe disabilites and I can't give them what they need. I know that probably sounds terrible of me, because it certainly isn't the disability that turns me away, it is the fact that they need a mother to be there 24/7 and I am the primary breadwinner in our household and I am the one that has insurance, paid time off. I wouldn't have to put my child in daycare, because of my schedule, but they would have to stay with my mother for a few hours before DH comes home from work, and she isn't physically able to take care of a child with a severe disability. My cousin's son has Autism and he is very high functioning, but my mom can't watch him because he is too busy and into everything.

I hope that I get to realize my dream and it doesn't just remain that, just a dream.

You're story is so beautiful. I just almost broke down into tears. My mom would be like that, she would be so excited to be a grandmother, it wouldn't matter how. DH, he has sort of mellowed out about all of this, I think just because he knows I would choose our child over him, if it came to that. I'm not real sure he will be interested in our child, because he gives me a hard time if I want my cousin's children to come over for a few ours or even to spend the night, he thinks they will take my attention away from him, but he is soo busy playing video games most of the time to notice. Mom says he might surprise us, and be a really great dad, I hope so. He was oohing over a little girl at a restaurant on Saturday, so there may be hope after all.


Leger, I'm just so worn out with all these problems, I don't know why I haven't had a nervous breakdown. I hope we can resolve this soon. The judge wants the closing done within 60 days, I want it done much sooner.


Suzanne

 

[Disney*Dreamer]

I have not read this thread all the way through. kust the first few pages. I just wanted to send all of you hugs. I too was in your place when I was younger. We wanted children badly. After being diagnosed wtih PCOS, I didn't think there was any hope, then after seeing an RE, I finally got pg with our son, he is now 5, and then when he was 2 we wanted to try again. Unfortunantly we suffered 2 losses that year. The first one was when the baby's heart stopped and I had to have a D&C to remove the pregnancy, for some reason my body would not miscarry it, and then the second one was very early on, but just as hard. Finally with the same RE, I was able to carry my 2 child without any huge issues.

My point is, that I have been where you all are, I cried as I read your stories, because the pain of it all never goes away, it is still very fresh. I pray for all of you that you will have your dreams come true and everything you could ever want will happen. And if not, I pray that you are able to find peace with it.

 

[Leger13]

Thank you. I really don't care what my child looks like, all children are precious. I just want to be a mother, my prejudice comes in that I really want an infant. I also can't take on a child with serious medical problems, because it would not be fair to the child because I can't be a SAHM, and I can't give them the extra attention they may need. So many of the children on the Alabama website have severe disabilites and I can't give them what they need. I know that probably sounds terrible of me, because it certainly isn't the disability that turns me away, it is the fact that they need a mother to be there 24/7 and I am the primary breadwinner in our household and I am the one that has insurance, paid time off. I wouldn't have to put my child in daycare, because of my schedule, but they would have to stay with my mother for a few hours before DH comes home from work, and she isn't physically able to take care of a child with a severe disability. My cousin's son has Autism and he is very high functioning, but my mom can't watch him because he is too busy and into everything.

I hope that I get to realize my dream and it doesn't just remain that, just a dream.

You're story is so beautiful. I just almost broke down into tears. My mom would be like that, she would be so excited to be a grandmother, it wouldn't matter how. DH, he has sort of mellowed out about all of this, I think just because he knows I would choose our child over him, if it came to that. I'm not real sure he will be interested in our child, because he gives me a hard time if I want my cousin's children to come over for a few ours or even to spend the night, he thinks they will take my attention away from him, but he is soo busy playing video games most of the time to notice. Mom says he might surprise us, and be a really great dad, I hope so. He was oohing over a little girl at a restaurant on Saturday, so there may be hope after all.


Leger, I'm just so worn out with all these problems, I don't know why I haven't had a nervous breakdown. I hope we can resolve this soon. The judge wants the closing done within 60 days, I want it done much sooner.


Suzanne

You don't sound selfish for not wanting to take on a disabled child. You are being realistic and that's good. It'd be selfish if you were thinking the other way around. There are homes out there for those children...they just haven't been found yet. They will get the home they deserve eventually.

As for your DH...I'm sure once he sees how happy you are, he will come around. My DH gets really annoyed whenever we have to be around my neices and nephews as well but then when we're around them he has the greatest time playing with them. And I would for sure see the fact that your DH was oogling over a little baby girl as a ray of hope.

60 days seems like a lot... I hope it goes by quickly for you. Or even better yet, maybe they'll just decide to take the house "as is" and close next week! I'll be praying for you.

I have not read this thread all the way through. kust the first few pages. I just wanted to send all of you hugs. I too was in your place when I was younger. We wanted children badly. After being diagnosed wtih PCOS, I didn't think there was any hope, then after seeing an RE, I finally got pg with our son, he is now 5, and then when he was 2 we wanted to try again. Unfortunantly we suffered 2 losses that year. The first one was when the baby's heart stopped and I had to have a D&C to remove the pregnancy, for some reason my body would not miscarry it, and then the second one was very early on, but just as hard. Finally with the same RE, I was able to carry my 2 child without any huge issues.

My point is, that I have been where you all are, I cried as I read your stories, because the pain of it all never goes away, it is still very fresh. I pray for all of you that you will have your dreams come true and everything you could ever want will happen. And if not, I pray that you are able to find peace with it.

Thank you for the encouragement. It's so nice to hear success stories from other women who have been in our shoes. I'm sure that pain of infertility will linger on when you hear about other women suffering from it. But now you can be a voice of comfort for us all and that's amazing.

I want to say I'm sorry for your losses but I'm alsoe excited to hear that you have two successful pregnancies. That gives me hope back. I still have not been diagnosed with any problems yet so things are up in the air But my DH has finally called his doctor to schedule his SA. They haven't called back yet though so I hope to get this done ASAP.

Anyways, thanks again for sharing your story and the encouraging words. And also thank you for the prayers. Every little bit helps

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

You don't sound selfish for not wanting to take on a disabled child. You are being realistic and that's good. It'd be selfish if you were thinking the other way around. There are homes out there for those children...they just haven't been found yet. They will get the home they deserve eventually.

As for your DH...I'm sure once he sees how happy you are, he will come around. My DH gets really annoyed whenever we have to be around my neices and nephews as well but then when we're around them he has the greatest time playing with them. And I would for sure see the fact that your DH was oogling over a little baby girl as a ray of hope.

60 days seems like a lot... I hope it goes by quickly for you. Or even better yet, maybe they'll just decide to take the house "as is" and close next week! I'll be praying for you.

I wish they would let me have the house "as is", but I got confirmation today that I have to have the ceiling/roof fixed, and the report on the basement done and if there is a problem, then I have to have it fixed. The loan guy said that the Underwriters are getting stricter on the guidelines in the last few weeks, so it has to be repaired. Then today he starts fussing about the back yard. We have some significant overgrowth and I haven't been able to find anyone to help me cut it back that didn't want to charge a fortune. I am allergic to alot of that stuff and it is hard for me to get out there and do the work(physically challenging), DH is lazy, but in reality he can't do it all by himself and there aren't any teenagers around willing to help for a few bucks anymore. I guess I will have to get some kind of mask and we will do the best that we can. I will come up with something.

Well, to top off all of this, I am going to be a mommoy of sorts, I am going to be getting a 16 year old girl. Well actually my 16 year old cousin is coming to live with us. Her step-mother called my mom this morning and asked her if she could come live with us. They really mistreat her and this is the best thing for her. They don't think they mistreat her, but they mentally mistreat her. A few weeks ago her father told her that he wanted to hurt her, but he was afraid that the state would take away their younger child if he did, because the school has already called CPS on them once because he pulled her through the front yard by her hair. I have always thought of her as my daughter, because she was born when I was 17, during my senior year of high school and I spent alot of time with her and took care of her for my aunt (she died 11 years ago from breast cancer), from the time she was born until she was 5. People thought she was my DD, they said we looked alike, and if you put a picture of the 2 of us next to each other, we really do look alike. In fact, my mom was going through some old pictures the other day and she handed me a picture of a baby girl, and I said "oh look at baby Betsy, isn't she the sweetest baby you have ever seen", mom looked at me and said "no, that's you" You should have seen the look I got. It will be tough, but we will take those lemons and make lemonade. Looks like I better add someone to my WDW ressies.

Better get back to work.

Suzanne

 

[MadamMim]

Hi Everybody!

I found out on my 21st birthday that I wasn't going to be able to have children due to a medical condition. Even now, years later, it's still a really hard thing for me to accept. My whole growing up was filled with the idea that if none of my other dreams came true, I could still be a mother, so having that last illusion taken from me was harder than I can really express. Now that I'm older I'm surrounded by friends and relations who are getting married (I'm still single) and having babies and I can get pretty upset by it all. I still plan on getting married someday, in fact I'd love to have a Disneymoon, and I hope that I can find a man who not only wants children, but who isn't against adoption. (It's hard to believe how many people nowadays are so close-minded about it.) I have such vivid dreams of buying into DVC and slowly expanding the suite we get each vacation because we've got a growing family. I don't know what I'll do if that doesn't work out either, but it is good to know that there are other people who face similar difficulties and still manage to smile. And come on this board and post. Thank you for sharing all your stories. It gives me hope.

 

[Leger13]

I wish they would let me have the house "as is", but I got confirmation today that I have to have the ceiling/roof fixed, and the report on the basement done and if there is a problem, then I have to have it fixed. The loan guy said that the Underwriters are getting stricter on the guidelines in the last few weeks, so it has to be repaired. Then today he starts fussing about the back yard. We have some significant overgrowth and I haven't been able to find anyone to help me cut it back that didn't want to charge a fortune. I am allergic to alot of that stuff and it is hard for me to get out there and do the work(physically challenging), DH is lazy, but in reality he can't do it all by himself and there aren't any teenagers around willing to help for a few bucks anymore. I guess I will have to get some kind of mask and we will do the best that we can. I will come up with something.

Well, to top off all of this, I am going to be a mommoy of sorts, I am going to be getting a 16 year old girl. Well actually my 16 year old cousin is coming to live with us. Her step-mother called my mom this morning and asked her if she could come live with us. They really mistreat her and this is the best thing for her. They don't think they mistreat her, but they mentally mistreat her. A few weeks ago her father told her that he wanted to hurt her, but he was afraid that the state would take away their younger child if he did, because the school has already called CPS on them once because he pulled her through the front yard by her hair. I have always thought of her as my daughter, because she was born when I was 17, during my senior year of high school and I spent alot of time with her and took care of her for my aunt (she died 11 years ago from breast cancer), from the time she was born until she was 5. People thought she was my DD, they said we looked alike, and if you put a picture of the 2 of us next to each other, we really do look alike. In fact, my mom was going through some old pictures the other day and she handed me a picture of a baby girl, and I said "oh look at baby Betsy, isn't she the sweetest baby you have ever seen", mom looked at me and said "no, that's you" You should have seen the look I got. It will be tough, but we will take those lemons and make lemonade. Looks like I better add someone to my WDW ressies.

Better get back to work.

Suzanne

Ugh! How frustrating is that!? Like selling a house isn't hard enough these days w/o them demanding you to fix everything before you move out. If they're buying a "fixer upper" then they knew it when they made the offer in the first place. That's just so dumb. I hope it all gets settled for you soon.

and that stinks about that situation that your cousin is in but that's awesome that you are able to help with giving her a stable home to live in. You are an amazing woman for being willing to take on a girl of that age. I wish you the best of luck! Are you gonna adopt her or is she just gonna live with you for a while? And how is she handeling all of this? Hopefully she won't be resentful to her parents and realize that living with you is for the best. You will do the best you can. I know you will are you and your DH still gonna try for a baby of your own or adopt a new born while she is with you? sorry for all the questions. I'm nosy.

i know it's taken me a few days to get back to you and I'm sorry. There's a few threads I haven't been getting updates on and this seems to be one of them. I'm sorry. I'm here for ya

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Ugh! How frustrating is that!? Like selling a house isn't hard enough these days w/o them demanding you to fix everything before you move out. If they're buying a "fixer upper" then they knew it when they made the offer in the first place. That's just so dumb. I hope it all gets settled for you soon.

and that stinks about that situation that your cousin is in but that's awesome that you are able to help with giving her a stable home to live in. You are an amazing woman for being willing to take on a girl of that age. I wish you the best of luck! Are you gonna adopt her or is she just gonna live with you for a while? And how is she handeling all of this? Hopefully she won't be resentful to her parents and realize that living with you is for the best. You will do the best you can. I know you will are you and your DH still gonna try for a baby of your own or adopt a new born while she is with you? sorry for all the questions. I'm nosy.

i know it's taken me a few days to get back to you and I'm sorry. There's a few threads I haven't been getting updates on and this seems to be one of them. I'm sorry. I'm here for ya

Hey, there is nobody nosier than me . The house that I am having to have work done on is the one I am buying, I am not selling a house, thank goodness. It isn't a "fixer upper", it just has a few cosmetic issues. The foundation man came out today and confirmed what I already knew, which is that we just need a new sump pump, no biggie. He did also say that when we get the yar all cleaned up that should help, because the vegetation has a tenency to hold water after it rains. He wouldn't do a formal report, so I hae to have someone else come out that will, but at least I don't have to pay them. I finally got someone scheduled to come out to see about patching the roof (at least for now), I just need to find someone to put in a piece of dry wall where the leak has messed up the ceiling. DH doesn't know how to do that, hopefully his friend or a neighbor of ours can do it. I do feel like we are finally making progress. DH and I are going to work in the yard tomorrow and Sunday and see what we can get cleaned up, also we have to clean out the basements. My grandmother kept the oddest stuff and it is all piled in the basements (weird woman) I am a packrat, but I do know when to get rid of things.

Well all He** broke loose at my cousins house. My mom called her stepmother on Wednesday to find out when she was bringing her to move in, and her stepmother told my mom that she woud bring her over the weekend. Well when my cousin got home from school, they (her dad and stepmother) told her she was just going to have to stay there and abide by their rules and that he had been to the Guidance Counselor at school and told her how "bad" my cousin is and that if she tried to tell any authorities at school, they would call him. Now this child is amazing, she is very well behaved and never has to be disciplined (I will explain more about that later). Well, she called my mom and told her this and about an incidence that happened Monday evening where her father pulled out some of her hair and shoved and hit her, he smashed her camera and some perfume bottles that had belonged to her mother. Well that made me mad, so I called the Sherriff's office and asked tehm to check on her. Well a deputy went out and it made them mad so they took the phone away from her and said that she couldn't use it for 2 months, because she called the Sherriff. Well, on Thurdsay, Me, my mom and her older sister went to the Juvenile court and to her school and we talked to her Guidance Counselor and her principal and explained the situation. A report was made with DHR and the GC and a DHR person sat down and talked to her at shcool today. Her father called my mom this evening and said he would bring her over tomorrow morning to stay for "a while". My mom is going back to the juvenile court and put in a petition for custody. Apparently the DHR person called their house and talked to her father and her stepmother was going to attack her and he stopped her and called my mom.

I practicaly raised this beautiful child until she was 5, when her mother (my Aunt, my mom's sister) died from Breast Cancer. Her father, who claimed she wasn't his, took her from me (I was 22) and to live with him and his woman (can't say what I want to on the Disboards). I would take her back in a heartbeat. We don't know right now what will happen, I don't know if adoption will be an option, but I certainly will if they will let me. She and I are very close and always have been. I spent alot of time with her when she was little, alot of good quality time. She has always been a very well-behaved girl. She never had to be disciplined because she never did anything wrong to deserve it. She doesn't resent her father, she hates him. She is thrilled to be getting out of their house. Mom and I let her do the tings most teenagers are aloud to do and they don't, they keep her locked up at home, they have taken away her computer, her cell phone, the house phone, her I-pod, everything. Her only liknk to the outside world is going to school. They even make her do all of the housework, even though her step mother is a SAHM. They both drink really, really bad.

DH and I don't know what we will do about a child of our own yet. We have to finish will all of this other stuff first. I can't handle that on top of all this stress. My mom still have a civil suit to deal with on my grandmothers estate. Maybe after all of that is settled, then I can focus on us. I don't wasn tot add another card onto the wobbly stack right now, KWIM!!!!

I hope to have a better weekend than I have had a week. I am really going to need my Disney trip and hope that my cousin will be able to go with us. Hopefully my mom will have custody of her by then and we will have no worries .

Please don't feel like you can't ask me something, I am pretty much an open book. About the only thing I won't discuss is my sex life