Child behavior question UPDATE page 2

[Pugdog007]

Originally posted by lindamg
vhoffman


get a grip

 

[vhoffman]

Oh, so very sorry I haven't humbly accepted everyone's advice to "take my son to a doctor". I apologize for all my shortcomings. Seems I can't discuss this problem anywhere without being attacked by people who assume I'm not a good parent. Guess I'll just go back into "hiding". Just remember, talk is cheap. Doing costs--and that's what I've been doing, and will continue to do so.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Originally posted by vhoffman
Oh, so very sorry I haven't humbly accepted everyone's advice to "take my son to a doctor". I apologize for all my shortcomings. Seems I can't discuss this problem anywhere without being attacked by people who assume I'm not a good parent. Guess I'll just go back into "hiding". Just remember, talk is cheap. Doing costs--and that's what I've been doing, and will continue to do so.

vhoffman-I'm sorry you took some of the posts personally, but I don't see anyone here that thought you were dumb or not a good parent. It's hard to know what you have and have not done with your son since you did not post specifics (your choice obviously). They were, obviously, offering the most practical advice. I'm sure it seems like "DUH!" to you, but the Diser's are only trying to help with the limited information they have.

I can pretty much guarantee that if I had not said that I was going to call the Ped. I would have been given that suggestion from a lot of people. You would think that would occur to everyone, but you would be surprised by the amount of "should I call the Doctor?" questions on here!

I'm sure it must be really frustrating for you having to deal with your Son on a daily basis. I know I was frustrated with DD and it was only for a couple of days! I hope you have support at home and that people do not look down on you for your Son's problem.

Please don't go into hiding. It's really a great group here.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

When something is "wrong" with a child the parent is frequently the one who gets blamed. If a child engages in a behavior that other people find to be unacceptable, they look to mom. Even of mom didn't "cause" the problem, people wonder why she hasn't found a solution. Women have underwent huge amounts of pressure over childhood behavior problems. This is true of many conditions: Autism, ADD, ODD, OCD and a variety of others. Please go easy on vhoffman because I think it's a fair guess that she has been through a lot...not only the frustration of her child's problem and the lack of answers, but also the lack of understanding from the people around her. Sometimes when you are used to being on the defense mode, it's hard to turn it off, even when people are trying to help. I do not think anybody was being insensitive in suggesting she take her child to a doctor simply because there ARE a lot of people who wouldn't think to do this and to whom this advice would be helpful. However, given the incredible frustration this woman has been through, I can certainly understand her defensive response.

vhoffman - I would hate to see you go into hiding. There's nothing to be ashamed of. While I honestly think that people were only trying to help, I can certainly understand your frustration and I understand the reasons why you feel so upset about all this. I don't know what to suggest or how to help as you sure seem to have done everything I could think of to do. But I hope you do find answers somewhere. It's obvious that you love your son and want to help him and I'm sure it's painful to not know where to turn. The best of luck to you. I hope to see a post from you someday telling us that somebody was able to help you.

 

[vhoffman]

OK, thanks for the kind words. I don't mean to steal the OP's thread, so I'll get off here. But I did want to say that I think I've found the problem with ds--or at least hope I have. Through a very indirect route, by reading everything I could get my hands on and my own observations of ds, I've dicsovered he has a vision problem. He passed the vision tests at school and the pediatrician's, however, his problem isn't one that can be detected by such screenings. His problem is that his brain doesn't interpret the visual images correctly. No wonder he's acting out--imagine how frustrated he must feel! We start vision therapy next week. Hopefully, the eye exercises and classroom accomodations will help with his vision. Even if he doesn't stop going on the floor, he does have a vision problem which requires attention. However, I feel once this problem is corrected, everything else will fall in place. Now this is where I get off--for OP, glad your problems worked out and I, like everyone else here, feel you did the right thing. I would feel your course of action was appropriate even if it didn't work out. Good luck!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I hope the vision therapy is a step in the right direction for you and your son! You sound very determined!

 

[froglady]

Sometimes, we tend to forget that everyone has a different situation.

I'm fortunate to live close to a multispecialty pediatric clinic, so there are over 100 doctors in all specialties under one roof, as it were. It's very easy to get referred from one specialty to another, once you've entered the system.

Not all of us have that luxury. I know how frustrating (having dealt with parents with multiple problems) it is to be referred to a specialist, wait for the appointment, wait for the diagnostics, then be told to see someone else...only to start the process over again.

I understand your frustration, vhoffman (And why it would take too long to list everything you had already tried!)

 

[arminnie]

Well I don't wet the bed, but I can understand how frustrating it is to try to get a diagnosis or to have people ask if you've tried something when you've tried EVERYTHING.

I have chronic fatigue syndrom (CFS). It took almost a decade for me to be diagnosed as one of the prerequisites for the diagnosis is to rule out everything else.

I can't tell you how many tests and surgeries I have had. I've been treated for everything from sleep apnea (surgery) to gallbladder removal and almost everything in between. I have tests where tubes were put down my throat (via my nose) and had to wear a computer device to measure the results for 24 hours (and worse). I've tried chiropractic care, acupuncture, holistic stuff, etc. My family is big in the natural foods business so I've tried all of the dietary stuff too.

Sometimes I want to scream (not at anyone here - just to make that clear) when someone says to me "if you'd just exercise or take a vitamin or some other simplistic proposed solution, you'd be OK." But then I remember that the person saying it really just wants to help.

The hardest thing about dealing with CFS is that I can't spend all day at the parks as I'd like to.

 

[Kallison]

Hey bad mom here -- if my kids had done that they would have had an extra long nap in their room, hand washed everything and gone to bed early, oh and definitely slept on that wet spot.