Chaperones at theme park

Knowing your daughter's primary concern, if you were attending as a chaperone would you be the decision maker in what the kids do for the day?

Not at all. My daughter has trouble speaking up for herself, so I think she thinks that just my presence will encourage her friend not to run all over her.
 
It's been my experience that the timid riders call the shots. We have a lot of choir trips, and dd16 ends up an organizer. The first year (7th) lots of girls asked to join their group, and she didn't want to say no, so they had about a dozen, and the trip was not fun, because they couldn't agree on rides. The next trip, just her core friendship stayed together, but one wouldn't do coasters. Another bad trip. Last year, she organized a couple of groups based on ride preference, and it finally worked out.
 


I was a chaperone for a bunch of 7th and 8th graders that we had to stay with at WDW. I was so wishing that they could walk around on their own. They drove me insane. Argued constantly. They would have done much better in groups of 3 or 4 that they chose. Instead they were in big groups by chaperone or chaperone couple. The first day was great. Then the ones that said their groups fought too much switched to be with us because we had no arguing. We found out really quick who exactly was causing all the arguing. I have never truly disliked a trip to Disney but I truly disliked that one.

DD was much like your child, OP. She had a very vocal, strong willed BFF and dd is a "pleaser" by nature. But honestly, me NOT being with her is what finally got her to speak up to her friend and let her know what she wanted.
 
DD was much like your child, OP. She had a very vocal, strong willed BFF and dd is a "pleaser" by nature. But honestly, me NOT being with her is what finally got her to speak up to her friend and let her know what she wanted.

This is exactly why I think this type of experience is an opportunity. Better they have these types of experiences where the consequences are only a not fun day at a theme park, rather than as they get older and the consequences of not being able to speak up for themselves/know how to negotiate or compromise with others can have more lasting impact.

Getting frustrated about your experience on the theme park day with your friends you were so excited about can be an excellent teacher and motivation for learning both to speak up, and how to do it effectively.
 


I agree that although it may be hard, and she might not have a great day if she can't negotiate with her friend, it is a good learning experience.

My son had his first "semi-unchaperoned trip" in 7th grade to a theme park. They were supposed to stay together in groups of 4 -- with some roving chaperones keeping an eye on things, and a few chaperones at a designated check-in point. Sounds very similar to your daughter's set up.

One kid in my son's group (who was a pretty good friend) kind of strong-armed the whole day because he wouldn't do what the group decided if it was different than what he wanted. For instance, if three wanted to do Ride A, and the other boy decided he wanted to do Ride B, he'd say "Well, I'm doing RIde B. Don't want to get in trouble for splitting up the group? Then I guess you'd better ome with me." The group thought they'd *all* get in trouble if they got caught splitting up (and they probably would have. I have a feeling that the get-my-way kid would have spun it as "they left me!") My son enjoyed the rides, but felt the trip was very stressful overall.

Anyway, the next semi-chaperoned trip my son had was to Washington DC with his 8th grade class. You roomed and toured in groups of 4. (They didn't have freedom to roam the whole city, but they'd turn them lose in a museum, etc.) The kids he picked as roommates were NOT who I expected. They were friendly acquaintances, but not part of his core group. My son said "yeah, but I think they'll be better to be on the trip with. I don't want any trouble." And they were. He had a great trip.)
 
My DD14 is a worrier. Last year (7th grade) was a big field trip to an amusement park, and she begged her father to chaperone. She was nervous because she'd never been to that particular park before (and had heard scary stories from her friends). Plus, her two BFFs weren't going, and she doesn't like scary rides. And it was her first year in the school, since we'd moved the previous summer. Due to all this, DH agreed to chaperone. Well, it turns out that she had the time of her life. Her group had a blast--they tried some scary coasters, ate junk food, and essentially ignored DH (in a good way--they were polite, checked in when required, hit him up for money--you get the idea!) Meanwhile, DH hooked up with another dad, a cop, who also got roped into chaperoning, so he had a decent time, too. I'm not sorry he went, but neither of us would bother again.

I think at this age, so much depends on the child. If you have a child with some kind of special situation--overly nervous, needs to take medication during the day, tends to get bullied--I would be more inclined to go, but maybe hang back, try to let him/her handle things. It's a more controlled environment, and good practice before sending the child off to the mall, neighborhood pool, street fair, whatever, with less supervision in a year or so.

DS11 has a field trip next week, neither of us are chaperoning, he'll be fine.
 
My dd was the only one of my kids that went to their 6 Flags trips because she is the only one of them that likes roller coasters. I thought my ds would go this year but he doesn't want to deal with being hassled by his friends so he isn't. One of his friends feels the same way so me and his mom are going to take them somewhere else that day.
Just let your dd know she isn't alone in that way of thinking :grouphug:
 
I actually think this is why she is so uncomfortable (if age matters she is 12). I was supposed to chaperone for the trip, along with several other parents, but they forgot to tell us that we needed to have fingerprints done in order to go and it is now too late for any of us to get it done (I went to the sheriff's office and asked). There will only be three chaperones total for their entire 7th and 8th grade class, and they are the teachers. There was a really huge breakdown in communication between the teachers, administration, and parents. She may be nervous because they told her there were all these chaperones, and now all the sudden there are only teachers.

That is 'not' enough chaperones for the 7th & 8th grade classes. They dropped the ball big time. My 12 yr. old would 'not' be going on that trip, period - no matter how many others were allowed to go.
 
I may have a different view on this because I am not a parent, but I don't get the big deal about the chaperones. I've gone on plenty of school trips in late elementary, middle and high school where there were very few chaperones for many kids and we were allowed to go on our own around Six Flags, Chicago, etc. There were set times that we needed to check in at specific areas and had to be with another student at all times.

This is how kids learn to be responsible. This is how they learn to stick up for themselves and take control. They can't be babied their entire lives. My cousin is 12 and is so dependent on his parents and it bothers me so much. No offense, everyone tends to say that my generation and those younger than me are so irresponsible and coddled, but no one wants to give them the chance to be on their own! How are they supposed to learn!?
 
I may have a different view on this because I am not a parent, but I don't get the big deal about the chaperones. I've gone on plenty of school trips in late elementary, middle and high school where there were very few chaperones for many kids and we were allowed to go on our own around Six Flags, Chicago, etc.

While I completely understand your thoughts, schools usually travel with more chaperones than they need "just in case". If a student gets sick, needs medicine, or has a problem that requires an adult, then that takes an adult away from everyone else. Fortunately, that doesn't happen every trip but all schools plan accordingly.

To the OP, I would be fine with a Middle School trip to a theme park. I just chaperoned an 8th grade trip to Washington DC and that was a different story. We were told to stay with our groups at all times for security reasons. Those reasons don't apply to most theme parks. I would be sure that she could contact you at anytime with so few chaperones with them.
 
I would present it as I am not going if I wish to go great if
Not ok too

Please do not just show up. This is very frowned upon with our public school district and the private school i work for. These trips are not just about fun but fostering independence.

If ur child isn't up for it then keep them home. I would encourage them to go.
 
Please do not just show up. This is very frowned upon with our public school district and the private school i work for.
It's a public location. The school district and the private school have no say in whether anyone (parent or otherwise) are also there.
 
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It's a public location. The school district and the private school have no say in whether anyone (parent or otherwise) are also there.
I think shoney knows that, she is just saying it's frowned upon. We had the same problem in the kids school. Almost every mother wanted to chaperone, it got so bad the school had to go to a lottery system. Then the mothers would show up any way. The school asked them not to, but it's obvious you can't prohibit them. I don't remember this ever being a problem years ago, people followed the rules then.
 
I think shoney knows that, she is just saying it's frowned upon. We had the same problem in the kids school. Almost every mother wanted to chaperone, it got so bad the school had to go to a lottery system. Then the mothers would show up any way. The school asked them not to, but it's obvious you can't prohibit them. I don't remember this ever being a problem years ago, people followed the rules then.
OK, I get that. But, as a mother, if my child needs the mental crutch of knowing that one of us (dad or mom) is nearby (not as a chaperone, or participating with the child) in order to enjoy his/her day, I'm going to make myself available.

I'd be telling him/her "OK, I'm going to be at the park, and I'll be at XXX location at YYY time, if you need me." Otherwise, I'd be enjoying the park myself.
 
when i was in middle school (age 11/12/13) i was in some groups (chorus & jr. honor society) where we went to a small amusement park (canobie lake park). i don't remember how many chaperones there were, but we would go around in groups with our friends.

i also worked at a rec department where the middle school program would go to this same amusement park and they had a buddy system and had designated check-in times so the adults could also wander and do things. you missed the time to check in and you were stuck with the adult.

i also ran a field trip to this park with elementary age kids and i would take a group of 7 and was responsible for them. some years i had a group that wanted to do all the same things, so i rode with them. another year i had some kids who wanted one ride and others wanted another. that year was very hot (90+ degrees) and miserable and i felt pretty sick (i'm normally a thrill-ride fan) so i sat outside and sent them to two rides where i could see both rides entrances & exits, then we went off to the next part and i did the same.

long story short; middle school is a good time for kids to do things on their own and have a check in. as long as the adults have a list of kids they are responsible for + a set meeting spot + set meeting times they should be in good shape. the park should have first aid that can handle any issues that arise - or the staff should each have a small kit with the essentials. any meds the kids will find the teacher for to get at the designated time.

the lack of chaperones isn't ideal - but i think it's doable.
 
I spent today on a field trip with a combined 4th/5th grade class of 40 students. There were 2 teachers and myself (there to keep "eyes-on" a student) and 22 parents. TWENTY TWO!! To what scary place, that so many parents wanted to attend, did we go? The federal courthouse, city hall, 9-1-1 dispatch center, and the county jail! Couldn't be much safer!

I don't think that 3 teachers is adequate coverage for the entire 7th and 8th grade class, especially at a large, public park where the kids are essentially going to be allowed to roam on their own. There are too many "what ifs" that could occur, taking one teacher's time, attention, or presence away and leaving all the rest of the kids with just 2 teachers for supervision. Our school wouldn't allow this trip to occur with this low teacher:student ratio.
 

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