Can you stand another wedding question?

[Sherri]

Grooms father seems a bit controlling if he is worried about who will be wearing a tux. Your Mom's SO has every right wear a tux.
I can see why your Mom felt hurt.

 

[cinmell]

You think $1,500 is bad for a shower? Try this! I'm in my husband's brothers wedding in June. Actually my husband and 6 year old daughter are in it as well.

The shower "so far" is $270 per bridesmaid and that is only for the function room and appetizers type food. This price does not include centerpieces, favors, cake, desserts or a shower gift which won't be a group gift. We will each buy our own gift, some are going in on a gift together. Each bridesmaid is to bring 2 gift prizes for a game to be played during the shower. There are 8 bridesmaids.

Bride decided her bachelorette is going to be in Vegas which is going to end up being $1,200-$1,500 for 3 nights per person (excluding bride). Some of the clubs they are planning on going to are $45 just to walk in the door, bride would like to eat at one of Emeril's restaurants and she would like a cabana at the pool during the day. I have a 6 year old and a newborn so I don't feel comfortable hopping on a plane across country for a mini vacation so I won't be going.

Bachelor party to chicago going to be $1,000

 

[magicmato]

You think $1,500 is bad for a shower? Try this! I'm in my husband's brothers wedding in June. Actually my husband and 6 year old daughter are in it as well.

The shower "so far" is $270 per bridesmaid and that is only for the function room and appetizers type food. This price does not include centerpieces, favors or a shower gift which won't be a group gift. Each bridesmaid is to bring 2 gift prizes for a game to be played during the shower. There are 8 bridesmaids.

Bride decided her bachelorette is going to be in Vegas which is going to end up being $1,200-$1,500 for 3 nights per person (excluding bride). Some of the clubs they are planning on going to are $45 just to walk in the door, bride would like to eat at one of Emeril's restaurants and she would like a cabana at the pool during the day. I have a 6 year old and a newborn so I don't feel comfortable hopping on a plane across country for a mini vacation so I won't be going.

Bachelor party to chicago going to be $1,000

That is nuts! Honestly, do the brides and families think money grows on trees? I can understand if everyone is wealthy, but dang, I would never agree to that sort of money just for a shower/bachelorette party! Yes, some money would be spent for a good friend/sibling, but not thousands! That is insane! I would rather spend the money (if I had it) on a gift than on a party to make their family happy.

 

[Jennifer S]

cinmell - I fel your pain. I would not buy a gift for the shower. The shower is your gift.

My sisters bachelorette poarty is in Atlantic City - don't know how much that is yet.

To add" two of the bridesmaids are from the in-law side so it is the two of them and future MIl wanting it in the restaurant.

 

[cinmell]

That is nuts! Honestly, do the brides and families think money grows on trees? I can understand if everyone is wealthy, but dang, I would never agree to that sort of money just for a shower/bachelorette party! Yes, some money would be spent for a good friend/sibling, but not thousands! That is insane! I would rather spend the money (if I had it) on a gift than on a party to make their family happy.

That doesn't even include the dresses, tux and wedding gift. I fully expected to pay for the shower but didn't realize we'd be paying that much for basically appetizers and the bachelor/bachelorette parties were not discused or planned until a couple of months ago.

 

[magicmato]

That doesn't even include the dresses, tux and wedding gift. I fully expected to pay for the shower but didn't realize we'd be paying that much for basically appetizers and the bachelor/bachelorette parties were not discused or planned until a couple of months ago.

Of course! I always expect to host/pay for showers if I am attending, but dang... that is a LOT for nothing. Weddings are expensive to begin with, with the expensive dresses you will never wear again, the tuxes, hotel rooms, etc. But I would resent people wanting *ME* to finance their dream party instead of being happy to have whatever gathering I planned and could afford, KWIM?

 

[cinmell]

Maybe we can start a new thread, the bridesmaids going broke thread!

 

[NotUrsula]

I guess brides should only have rich friends, so that they can be sure to have a shower, since poor friends would put on a smaller affair, lol.

The point is that no bride (or groom, or family) should EXPECT or ask for a shower, of any size or style. If someone or several someones decide to give one for you, you should thank them profusely and smile all the way through, even if the gifts come from the dollar store and the only refreshment is KoolAid. It is rude to solicit gifts on behalf of yourself or family members, no matter how generous your intentions.

If the groom's family (or the bride's family) wants to thow a party other than the wedding reception, then fine -- let them crack open the piggy bank and throw one. It should NOT be billed as a bridal shower; just a party to honor the engaged couple (or the newly married couple if they hold it after the wedding.)

Obviously, ANYONE who demands that a third party host an event so that they (the first party) can entertain guests at no expense has a screw loose and should be shot, figuratively speaking.

 

[cinmell]

Do you want to guess how much the cost of the honeymoon is up to?

 

[magicmato]

Do you want to guess how much the cost of the honeymoon is up to?

Good god, I can only imagine. I bet it is far more than I will spend on my kids for the whole year, lol.

 

[cinmell]

Good god, I can only imagine. I bet it is far more than I will spend on my kids for the whole year, lol.

$11,000.00

 

[magicmato]

$11,000.00

WOW! That is like, three Disney vacations staying at a nice hotel! Where are they going and for how long???

 

[cinmell]

Italy for 16 days.

 

[magicmato]

Italy for 16 days.

Wow, must be nice.

 

[cinmell]

Wow, must be nice.

Yeah, tell me about it. They are not rich, not even close. I can understand that a honeymoon can be a once in a life time vacation but that's a little much, at least for me. They are trying to cut the price down but it hasn't been reduced by much.

 

[C.Ann]

You think $1,500 is bad for a shower? Try this! I'm in my husband's brothers wedding in June. Actually my husband and 6 year old daughter are in it as well.

The shower "so far" is $270 per bridesmaid and that is only for the function room and appetizers type food. This price does not include centerpieces, favors, cake, desserts or a shower gift which won't be a group gift. We will each buy our own gift, some are going in on a gift together. Each bridesmaid is to bring 2 gift prizes for a game to be played during the shower. There are 8 bridesmaids.

Bride decided her bachelorette is going to be in Vegas which is going to end up being $1,200-$1,500 for 3 nights per person (excluding bride). Some of the clubs they are planning on going to are $45 just to walk in the door, bride would like to eat at one of Emeril's restaurants and she would like a cabana at the pool during the day. I have a 6 year old and a newborn so I don't feel comfortable hopping on a plane across country for a mini vacation so I won't be going.

Bachelor party to chicago going to be $1,000

------------------------------

Unless I were independently wealthy, I would be saying, "I'm sorry.. I had no idea that being a part of your wedding was going to be so terribly expensive and I'm afraid we'll have to back out.. Had I known this when you first asked, I would have told you then that it wasn't possible.. It simply isn't in our budget.."

There is no way that I would spend that kind of money to "be" in someone else's wedding and I think it was terribly unfair of them to ask this of you without telling you up front what the costs were going to be..

 

[Jennifer S]

Maybe we can start a new thread, the bridesmaids going broke thread!

I am all for that or just bridesmaid horror stories.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The cost is over $1500- that they want the bridesmaids to pay for and organize.

I would tell them to go ...."beep, blankety, beep"..... I also would back out if someone thought I was couging up 1,500 for a shower.

 

[Jennifer S]

I would tell them to go ...."beep, blankety, beep"..... I also would back out if someone thought I was couging up 1,500 for a shower.

Can't back out - it's my sister's wedding. I have made other suggestions- like rent a room that has no catering and we can bring the food ourselves. There's no way in h-e double hockey sticks I'm paying for that shower. I'm still pushing to just have two.

 

[azgal81]

This is going to be an interesting wedding!