Can I have a mommy vent!

[Kae]

Your description of the award is very vague, what is the exact title of the award?

I can see being disappointed that your child didn't get it, but to get so upset, and just assume that the recipient isn't as deserving (because you didn't see him at the honor roll banquet, or because you dont know if he ever made honor roll before) is a bit petty.

The recipient should possess the personality, warmth, friendship, and moral and spiritual character typified by good sportsmanship. Recognizing that athletic programs are only one part of school life, he shall also display a conscientious academic record, service to his school, and thoughtful goals for the future.

In the time that ds has been at this school 7 years this is the first time that I have seen a winner who is has not made Honor Roll. Boy or girl, when my Dniece won the girls award my sister laughed & asked the principal if she was calling the right parent. She was told that it was based on Grades & sportsmanship. I did believe that DS was in the running but I was thinking one of 2 other boys. And at are school no one gets cut from the teams & everybody plays. Yes Honor Roll is posted each 1/4 in the newsletter & the local paper.

I am totally mad at myself for being upset, jaded whatever you want to call it.

Kae

 

[goofy!]

I guess I mean sports scholarships also. Do they have those for cheerleading?

Many of our seniors who were on our two worlds teams in all star cheerleading were offered scholarships.

I am not sure if they award them for school cheerleading, like High School cheer, but they do in allstar cheer.

"All star cheer does not cheer for a sport, they are the sport." They are not associated with a school or team at all.

Again, not that familiar with high school cheer so can't comment on how it compares with scholarship opportunities, but all star cheer does have scouts out there looking at kids. It is a highly athletic, highly competitive sport that encompasses high level tumbling, stunting and aerobic skills. The level 5 & 6 (highest levels) cheerleaders will put a tumbling pass on the floor that could rival any national level gymnast.

College cheer is also highly competitive, with national competitions that are highly regarded. Many colleges routinely scout the all star gyms for the best cheerleaders.

Youtube has many HPU tryout videos if one cares to see what it is all about.

 

[DizBelle]

Our awards are based on Merit. But Merit includes other things besides just the skill.

It includes things like attitude, work ethic, willingness to help others, etc.

You can be the most skilled at flying, swimming, basketball, baseball, etc, however, if you walk around with a DIVA attitude, there is no way you MERIT the award.

Perhaps other factors besides just the actual skill of Flying was taken into account?

Also, even though it shouldn't, I have seen many times that parental attitudes color the selection process.

Then it should have been called something other than "Best Flyer" award if it was not going to be given to the best flyer.

 

[DizBelle]

The recipient should possess the personality, warmth, friendship, and moral and spiritual character typified by good sportsmanship. Recognizing that athletic programs are only one part of school life, he shall also display a conscientious academic record, service to his school, and thoughtful goals for the future.

In the time that ds has been at this school 7 years this is the first time that I have seen a winner who is has not made Honor Roll. Boy or girl, when my Dniece won the girls award my sister laughed & asked the principal if she was calling the right parent. She was told that it was based on Grades & sportsmanship. I did believe that DS was in the running but I was thinking one of 2 other boys. And at are school no one gets cut from the teams & everybody plays. Yes Honor Roll is posted each 1/4 in the newsletter & the local paper.

I am totally mad at myself for being upset, jaded whatever you want to call it.

Kae

Is that a quote for the criteria for the award? Maybe I missed but I didn't see that only those on the honor roll would be considered.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Then it should have been called something other than "Best Flyer" award if it was not going to be given to the best flyer.

Depends on the definition of Best Flyer. Perhaps, Best Flyer also means that you mentor the younger athletes on how to fly.

 

[LaurenLC]

I often hear people say this, especially on the dis, but have you actually seen this? I have kids now ranging from 13 to 23. Yes, they may have gotten participation awards for soccer or softball when they were 6 years old, but believe me there is no "everyone is a winner" in middle school or high school sports. Nor does "everyone get an award" for academics, etc. It is actually quite competitive and also at times cut-throat!! Everything from class rank, scholarships, and college admissions is so very competitive!

The job market for young people right now is very difficult, so I think most of them are happy to get a job.

I don't know where people live where "everyone is a winner" beyond, say, 6 or 7 years old. Sometimes it's more like the opposite: there is first place, and second place is considered "first loser".

Have I seen this? Absolutely! I have been an HR manager for the past 5 years focusing on hiring into junior executive (starting) positions. Very few applicants come in with realistic expectations. My husband is also a professor at a major university where these stunned kids come in and don't understand why they can't debate with him over their grades. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are also both teachers (middle and high school). At my mother-in-law's school they aren't even allowed to give traditional grades because they don't want little Johnny to know that he isn't 'the best'.

And sorry, we quit doing first place and second place when high schools across the country stopped having valedictorians, or had 16 people standing up there instead of one student.

 

[luvmy3]

The recipient should possess the personality, warmth, friendship, and moral and spiritual character typified by good sportsmanship. Recognizing that athletic programs are only one part of school life, he shall also display a conscientious academic record, service to his school, and thoughtful goals for the future.

In the time that ds has been at this school 7 years this is the first time that I have seen a winner who is has not made Honor Roll. Boy or girl, when my Dniece won the girls award my sister laughed & asked the principal if she was calling the right parent. She was told that it was based on Grades & sportsmanship. I did believe that DS was in the running but I was thinking one of 2 other boys. And at are school no one gets cut from the teams & everybody plays. Yes Honor Roll is posted each 1/4 in the newsletter & the local paper.

I am totally mad at myself for being upset, jaded whatever you want to call it.

Kae

If being on the honor roll was the only academic achievement that was required to win this award then it would probably say that Maybe this kid doesn't get straight A's, maybe he has improved academically every quarter and he is great at athletics and the school felt he deserved the award this year because kids like him have been excluded every year prior.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

The recipient should possess the personality, warmth, friendship, and moral and spiritual character typified by good sportsmanship. Recognizing that athletic programs are only one part of school life, he shall also display a conscientious academic record, service to his school, and thoughtful goals for the future.

In the time that ds has been at this school 7 years this is the first time that I have seen a winner who is has not made Honor Roll. Boy or girl, when my Dniece won the girls award my sister laughed & asked the principal if she was calling the right parent. She was told that it was based on Grades & sportsmanship. I did believe that DS was in the running but I was thinking one of 2 other boys. And at are school no one gets cut from the teams & everybody plays. Yes Honor Roll is posted each 1/4 in the newsletter & the local paper.

I am totally mad at myself for being upset, jaded whatever you want to call it.

Kae

We had a similar award in 5th grade at my kids' school. It was a "memorial" award, but the children (1 boy and 1 girl) were supposed to epitomize scholarship, athleticism, community service, leadership, and musicality. The recipients were chosen by resume only (no names), by the parents of the child the award was named for. I really thought one child had it in the bag--her mom was on the school board, for Pete's sake. She had one of those moms that tried to "engineer" everything to make her children look like the best. Turns out the award recipeint was, um, my DD. She didn't have the highest GPA. She wasn't (still isn't) a jock. But, she's smart and she works hard. It was nice for her to be acknowledged for being a good kid. But I'll tell you--I'd be pretty PO'd if the "other" mom was badmouthing my DD for getting an award she thought her DD deserved.

 

[disneyaddicted]

I would like to share a lesson in humility, taught to me by my own daughter.

Reese is a sophmore, almost 16. she has sang in 2 different local bands, she taught herself to play guitar, spends most Wednesday nights at open mic nights. I got a big head about my daughters talents, the things people said to me had me swelling with pride and I let it go way too far.

Reese entered a talent show at her highschool, she writes her own music and I just knew her song was going to blow the competition away. For tryouts she got judges pick, which means she wouldn't have to audition again, she had won her spot in the show, I took this as, "Yeah, the judges lover her already, she is a shoe in."

The night of the talent show I felt in my bones she would win, and I was even comfortable enough to say it out loud. (to my family only)

Several girls sang, they were good, Some girls danced, they were good, one girl read a poem she wrote, it was a beautiful poem about Africa, a few bands played, I enjoyed the entertainment.

Reese performed, she got a standing ovation, and a marriage proposal (silly kids)

The time came to anounce the winner, they started with most spirited, it went to a dance group, best costume, went to a dance group, 3rd runner up went to a girl who sang and played piano, 2nd runner up, a boy who rapped along with a CD, first runner up, a boy who played a mean guitar ( I had viewed him as Reese's major competition) then first place.... I get my camera ready to record the moment they say my daughters name, "and they trophy goes to , Miss so and so for her reading of the poem, Africa my Africa."

Was there a gasp from the audience? oh yeah, I was probably the loudest. A couple of shouts rang out from kids in the audience, "Reese was robbed." This was rigged." My thoughts were, "Really, a poem won." I left the auditorium and waited in the lobby for Reese, Reese's friends came up to me and said she should have won, I totally agreed with them. (so biased)

Then Reese comes out, I was ready to console a child who I thought was wronged. She comes running over to me, all smiles. "Oh my gosh mom, that was such a rush, I had so much fun, can we go get pizza?"

We go for pizza, and while waiting for our order, I asked Reese what she thought of the results, did she felt she should have won?

She told me, "It would have been nice to win, I'm not gonna lie, but the judges didn't think I was the best."

"I thought you were the best."

"Yeah, but you're my mom, you have to think that, all moms think their kids are the best, all moms think their kid deserves to win, doesn't mean it's going to happen."

So I learned a lesson that night, as long as Reese had fun doing her thing, it doesn't matter where she placed.

I will never again get so emotionally involved in the outcome of awards and what not, Thinking back I had an ugly spirit that night and I am ashamed. I am lucky that my attitude about Reese deserving to win did not rob off on her.

Just because people say your kid should win, or your kid is the greatest doesn't mean the people judging will think so. Just keep encouraging them to do their best and have fun.

 

[MELSMICE]

I would like to share a lesson in humility, taught to me by my own daughter.

Reese is a sophmore, almost 16. she has sang in 2 different local bands, she taught herself to play guitar, spends most Wednesday nights at open mic nights. I got a big head about my daughters talents, the things people said to me had me swelling with pride and I let it go way too far.

Reese entered a talent show at her highschool, she writes her own music and I just knew her song was going to blow the competition away. For tryouts she got judges pick, which means she wouldn't have to audition again, she had won her spot in the show, I took this as, "Yeah, the judges lover her already, she is a shoe in."

The night of the talent show I felt in my bones she would win, and I was even comfortable enough to say it out loud. (to my family only)

Several girls sang, they were good, Some girls danced, they were good, one girl read a poem she wrote, it was a beautiful poem about Africa, a few bands played, I enjoyed the entertainment.

Reese performed, she got a standing ovation, and a marriage proposal (silly kids)

The time came to anounce the winner, they started with most spirited, it went to a dance group, best costume, went to a dance group, 3rd runner up went to a girl who sang and played piano, 2nd runner up, a boy who rapped along with a CD, first runner up, a boy who played a mean guitar ( I had viewed him as Reese's major competition) then first place.... I get my camera ready to record the moment they say my daughters name, "and they trophy goes to , Miss so and so for her reading of the poem, Africa my Africa."

Was there a gasp from the audience? oh yeah, I was probably the loudest. A couple of shouts rang out from kids in the audience, "Reese was robbed." This was rigged." My thoughts were, "Really, a poem won." I left the auditorium and waited in the lobby for Reese, Reese's friends came up to me and said she should have won, I totally agreed with them. (so biased)

Then Reese comes out, I was ready to console a child who I thought was wronged. She comes running over to me, all smiles. "Oh my gosh mom, that was such a rush, I had so much fun, can we go get pizza?"

We go for pizza, and while waiting for our order, I asked Reese what she thought of the results, did she felt she should have won?

She told me, "It would have been nice to win, I'm not gonna lie, but the judges didn't think I was the best."

"I thought you were the best."

"Yeah, but you're my mom, you have to think that, all moms think their kids are the best, all moms think their kid deserves to win, doesn't mean it's going to happen."

So I learned a lesson that night, as long as Reese had fun doing her thing, it doesn't matter where she placed.

I will never again get so emotionally involved in the outcome of awards and what not, Thinking back I had an ugly spirit that night and I am ashamed. I am lucky that my attitude about Reese deserving to win did not rob off on her.

Just because people say your kid should win, or your kid is the greatest doesn't mean the people judging will think so. Just keep encouraging them to do their best and have fun.

Great post...........especially the part I highlighted in red.......that is so true!

Kudos to your DD!

 

[luvsJack]

Then he should have gotten the "Worked Hardest" award rather than the "Best Batting" award. Is that only obvious to me?

Sorry, I may not have been clear. The award that year went to the senior with the highest batting average (my son had the highet avg. for the team).

 

[Tinijocaro]

I often hear people say this, especially on the dis, but have you actually seen this? I have kids now ranging from 13 to 23. Yes, they may have gotten participation awards for soccer or softball when they were 6 years old, but believe me there is no "everyone is a winner" in middle school or high school sports. Nor does "everyone get an award" for academics, etc. It is actually quite competitive and also at times cut-throat!! Everything from class rank, scholarships, and college admissions is so very competitive!

The job market for young people right now is very difficult, so I think most of them are happy to get a job.

I don't know where people live where "everyone is a winner" beyond, say, 6 or 7 years old. Sometimes it's more like the opposite: there is first place, and second place is considered "first loser".

I was thinking the same thing. My kids only get awards when they deserve them. They may get a "participation award", which essentially means nothing more than you showed up.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I would like to share a lesson in humility, taught to me by my own daughter.

Reese is a sophmore, almost 16. she has sang in 2 different local bands, she taught herself to play guitar, spends most Wednesday nights at open mic nights. I got a big head about my daughters talents, the things people said to me had me swelling with pride and I let it go way too far.

Reese entered a talent show at her highschool, she writes her own music and I just knew her song was going to blow the competition away. For tryouts she got judges pick, which means she wouldn't have to audition again, she had won her spot in the show, I took this as, "Yeah, the judges lover her already, she is a shoe in."

The night of the talent show I felt in my bones she would win, and I was even comfortable enough to say it out loud. (to my family only)

Several girls sang, they were good, Some girls danced, they were good, one girl read a poem she wrote, it was a beautiful poem about Africa, a few bands played, I enjoyed the entertainment.

Reese performed, she got a standing ovation, and a marriage proposal (silly kids)

The time came to anounce the winner, they started with most spirited, it went to a dance group, best costume, went to a dance group, 3rd runner up went to a girl who sang and played piano, 2nd runner up, a boy who rapped along with a CD, first runner up, a boy who played a mean guitar ( I had viewed him as Reese's major competition) then first place.... I get my camera ready to record the moment they say my daughters name, "and they trophy goes to , Miss so and so for her reading of the poem, Africa my Africa."

Was there a gasp from the audience? oh yeah, I was probably the loudest. A couple of shouts rang out from kids in the audience, "Reese was robbed." This was rigged." My thoughts were, "Really, a poem won." I left the auditorium and waited in the lobby for Reese, Reese's friends came up to me and said she should have won, I totally agreed with them. (so biased)

Then Reese comes out, I was ready to console a child who I thought was wronged. She comes running over to me, all smiles. "Oh my gosh mom, that was such a rush, I had so much fun, can we go get pizza?"

We go for pizza, and while waiting for our order, I asked Reese what she thought of the results, did she felt she should have won?

She told me, "It would have been nice to win, I'm not gonna lie, but the judges didn't think I was the best."

"I thought you were the best."

"Yeah, but you're my mom, you have to think that, all moms think their kids are the best, all moms think their kid deserves to win, doesn't mean it's going to happen."

So I learned a lesson that night, as long as Reese had fun doing her thing, it doesn't matter where she placed.

I will never again get so emotionally involved in the outcome of awards and what not, Thinking back I had an ugly spirit that night and I am ashamed. I am lucky that my attitude about Reese deserving to win did not rob off on her.

Just because people say your kid should win, or your kid is the greatest doesn't mean the people judging will think so. Just keep encouraging them to do their best and have fun.

What an amazing young lady. She is definitely a winner with or without the piece of paper or little trophy.

 

[mhsjax]

The problem is that we give kids in school awards for EVERYTHING, and everyone is a winner! That is why when some come out into the real world they have unrealistic expectations of salary and benefits (mostly vacation). You are not rewarded on your effort; you are rewarded on your results.

Exactly.

 

[Teacher03]

Yes. Full scholarships are offered for cheerleaders. University of Hawaii is another college (in addition to OSU and UK) that offers full scholarships. Partial scholarships for cheerleaders are offered at majority of other colleges.

A little OT, but unless things have changed in the last two years, OSU does not offer fulll scholarships for cheerleading. I would check into that, but as I said, things could have changed. They changed coaches in the last year, and the head coach is wonderful, not only as a coach, but as a person.

 

[Teacher03]

I would like to share a lesson in humility, taught to me by my own daughter.

Reese is a sophmore, almost 16. she has sang in 2 different local bands, she taught herself to play guitar, spends most Wednesday nights at open mic nights. I got a big head about my daughters talents, the things people said to me had me swelling with pride and I let it go way too far.

Reese entered a talent show at her highschool, she writes her own music and I just knew her song was going to blow the competition away. For tryouts she got judges pick, which means she wouldn't have to audition again, she had won her spot in the show, I took this as, "Yeah, the judges lover her already, she is a shoe in."

The night of the talent show I felt in my bones she would win, and I was even comfortable enough to say it out loud. (to my family only)

Several girls sang, they were good, Some girls danced, they were good, one girl read a poem she wrote, it was a beautiful poem about Africa, a few bands played, I enjoyed the entertainment.

Reese performed, she got a standing ovation, and a marriage proposal (silly kids)

The time came to anounce the winner, they started with most spirited, it went to a dance group, best costume, went to a dance group, 3rd runner up went to a girl who sang and played piano, 2nd runner up, a boy who rapped along with a CD, first runner up, a boy who played a mean guitar ( I had viewed him as Reese's major competition) then first place.... I get my camera ready to record the moment they say my daughters name, "and they trophy goes to , Miss so and so for her reading of the poem, Africa my Africa."

Was there a gasp from the audience? oh yeah, I was probably the loudest. A couple of shouts rang out from kids in the audience, "Reese was robbed." This was rigged." My thoughts were, "Really, a poem won." I left the auditorium and waited in the lobby for Reese, Reese's friends came up to me and said she should have won, I totally agreed with them. (so biased)

Then Reese comes out, I was ready to console a child who I thought was wronged. She comes running over to me, all smiles. "Oh my gosh mom, that was such a rush, I had so much fun, can we go get pizza?"

We go for pizza, and while waiting for our order, I asked Reese what she thought of the results, did she felt she should have won?

She told me, "It would have been nice to win, I'm not gonna lie, but the judges didn't think I was the best."

"I thought you were the best."

"Yeah, but you're my mom, you have to think that, all moms think their kids are the best, all moms think their kid deserves to win, doesn't mean it's going to happen."

So I learned a lesson that night, as long as Reese had fun doing her thing, it doesn't matter where she placed.

I will never again get so emotionally involved in the outcome of awards and what not, Thinking back I had an ugly spirit that night and I am ashamed. I am lucky that my attitude about Reese deserving to win did not rob off on her.

Just because people say your kid should win, or your kid is the greatest doesn't mean the people judging will think so. Just keep encouraging them to do their best and have fun.

This is the best post I have read on the disboards in a long time. Your daughter sounds like an amazing young lady. I'm sure she will go far with her talents.

 

[teacher100]

This is why my elementary school has stopped all awards days and graduations. We give awards in the classroom and parents are not invited. We are required to give everyone a participation award for showing up. It doesn't matter if they skipped school 20 days or if they showed no effort all year. The ironic thing is when we used to give these participation awards at an assembly it was those parents who hollered and whooped the loudest after the audience was asked not to.

 

[donalds friend]

I just went to my Aspie son's senior awards. I would have loved for him to get a scholarship and we could have really used it because much of his college fund has been spent on tutoring when he was younger and our out of pocket expenses are high for therapy. I'll admit I'm jealous of the kid who got a full scholarship along with 6 others ranging from $100.00 to $5000.00. He is an honor student and has worked hard for everything he has gotten. However as he was applying, he didn't have volunteer service because of his social anxieties, he didn't play sports because he isn't good enough. We are also a middle class family with a savings account for my 3 kids college. We don't get scholarships where need is involved. Perhaps if we hadn't saved since he was born we would have gotten something there. Through my years with him I have learned that its life and one day he will get rewarded for what he achieves.

 

[alamashdar]

A little OT, but unless things have changed in the last two years, OSU does not offer fulll scholarships for cheerleading. I would check into that, but as I said, things could have changed. They changed coaches in the last year, and the head coach is wonderful, not only as a coach, but as a person.

The new staff is in the process of reevaluating the amount of their scholarships and while before, yes, they , did not offer full, they will be part of the program when needed in the future.
I found this out as well as the fall preview for high school cheerleaders was canceled that year, in the same email in the fall of 2008 from the new Coach.

 

[sunnyday123]

This is why my elementary school has stopped all awards days and graduations. We give awards in the classroom and parents are not invited. We are required to give everyone a participation award for showing up. It doesn't matter if they skipped school 20 days or if they showed no effort all year. The ironic thing is when we used to give these participation awards at an assembly it was those parents who hollered and whooped the loudest after the audience was asked not to.

And this is crazy. WHEN are these kids going to learn not everyone wins or gets an award?? The self-entiltlement today drives me up a stinkin' wall.

DD went to an audition in Nashville for Disney a few months ago. There was a mother there who's daughter clearly didn't meet the age limit, but she "dressed her up" to make her look older, and some parents who acted like 2 year olds when their kids didn't get pulled.

DD came out, said "I'm not what they're looking for. Can we eat now?" and off we went. No drama. I thought she was the best and the prettiest, but still didn't get picked and the world kept revolving.

My advice is: play checkers with your kid, and beat the pants off 'em. The earlier they learn they don't win all the time and life isn't always fair, the better.