Can I have a mommy vent!

[Stacerita]

We went to DS 6th grade dinner tonight & they gave out the boys sports award it based on first grades then sports. The kid who got never made honor roll this year & I don't think any time.

I am not real happy. And to make it worse I had many parents walk up to me & tell me they thought DS was going to get it. I thought Another boy was going to get it.

Urrgg!!

Thanks for letting me vent

Kae

No matter what you thought or what other parents thought, the group giving the award did not think it. They gave it who they thought deserved the honor. Unless you are in on the decision making of who gets the award, you do not know for sure what the child's grades were. To play sports he had to have a minumim GPA I am sure. Venting about another child getting an award makes you sound like one of "those" parents.

 

[daisyyy]

OP.

I get what you're trying to say. I'm sure you were disappointed, and maybe shocked if you were expecting an award and didn't get one. There must be some reason, they choose this other child. maybe they forgot your child. But here's the thing... turn it around and teach your child this... "life's not fair"... get used to it.... cause sometimes it's in your favor, and other times it's not, and the sooner they realize it, they'll be able to bettercope with life's disappointments. even though they may have deserved to win, for some reason, they didn't.... and maybe next time, it will be the opposite. Everything is not always fair and square, but don't let it ruin his experience or let him have bad feelings towards the team, or the other child... even if he didn't deserve it, he's not the one who picked the winner, he just won it, so accept it graciously, and move on... Unless of course the parents bribed them. (kidding_)

 

[TwinsinCA]

I don't find it that odd that the OP knows whether or not the child who won ever made honor roll. Kids who make honor roll here are recognized in an assembly attended by the parents and the list is also in the monthy newsletter. Maybe at the OP's school it is also public knowledge.

OP -- I understand. Something similar happened to my daughter this year. I know it is petty. I know it doesn't really matter in the long run. But it still ticks me off.

 

[alamashdar]

My problem with how awards are decided for a sports banquet is majority of the "deciders" want to push children through on effort.

"No Johnnie, you you weren't the best but you tried hard so let's not award the person who deserves it, let's award you because you tried."

REALLY?!?!?!?
My daughter is in her 12th season of All Star cheerleading at a private gym. She has scouts from OSU and UK looking at her for scholarships because of her awesome abilities as a flyer.
So, when it came to the banquet, they didn't want to seem as if they were playing favorites so they gave the "Best Flyer" award to a girl, who had been flying very sporadically, because she tried.
The coach apologized to Amber later because she (the Coach) was surprised at the collective GASP from the crowd when Amber's name wasn't called. It's not like Amber won it every year. She has had to compete with upperclassmen and this was the first year she was the front runner.
Absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!
So, OP, I understand your vent. I asked the coach "What exactly does Amber need to improve upon to be chosen "Best Flyer" next year?" She got my point!!!
It won't be the deciding factor for Amber's future but being recognized in front of your peers IS a big deal to children.
These awards should be decided on MERIT not EFFORT!!!

 

[aprilgail2]

I don't find it that odd that the OP knows whether or not the child who won ever made honor roll. Kids who make honor roll here are recognized in an assembly attended by the parents and the list is also in the monthy newsletter. Maybe at the OP's school it is also public knowledge.

.

If you make the honor roll at our school a list of the names are sent home in the school newspaper so everyone knows and its also hanging on the wall as you enter the school! Its hard to find anyone that doesn't know who made the honor roll!

 

[Teacher03]

My problem with how awards are decided for a sports banquet is majority of the "deciders" want to push children through on effort.

"No Johnnie, you you weren't the best but you tried hard so let's not award the person who deserves it, let's award you because you tried."

REALLY?!?!?!?
My daughter is in her 12th season of All Star cheerleading at a private gym. She has scouts from OSU and UK looking at her for scholarships because of her awesome abilities as a flyer.
So, when it came to the banquet, they didn't want to seem as if they were playing favorites so they gave the "Best Flyer" award to a girl, who had been flying very sporadically, because she tried.
The coach apologized to Amber later because she (the Coach) was surprised at the collective GASP from the crowd when Amber's name wasn't called. It's not like Amber won it every year. She has had to compete with upperclassmen and this was the first year she was the front runner.
Absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!
So, OP, I understand your vent. I asked the coach "What exactly does Amber need to improve upon to be chosen "Best Flyer" next year?" She got my point!!!
It won't be the deciding factor for Amber's future but being recognized in front of your peers IS a big deal to children.
These awards should be decided on MERIT not EFFORT!!!

I get your point, but it's still petty. It would make me mad, but I don't think I would dwell on it. If everyone knows your daughter is an awesome flyer, why does she need an award, probably a certificate or small trophy, to prove it? Let the other girl have her moment, your daughter sounds very talented and will probably have many awards in the future.

 

[dogluva]

It this post for real?

 

[dogluva]

you people are just ***** footing around here. why dont you come out and say what you really mean. the op is ticked off that her son didnt win the award. and all this in 6th grade. parents like this are what gives kids sports a bad name. my only bit of advice is: either grow up or drink heavily...

Can't she just be happy for this kid? Maybe this is the only place he excels (since obviously his grades were not up to par).

 

[dogluva]

My problem with how awards are decided for a sports banquet is majority of the "deciders" want to push children through on effort.

"No Johnnie, you you weren't the best but you tried hard so let's not award the person who deserves it, let's award you because you tried."

REALLY?!?!?!?
My daughter is in her 12th season of All Star cheerleading at a private gym. She has scouts from OSU and UK looking at her for scholarships because of her awesome abilities as a flyer.
So, when it came to the banquet, they didn't want to seem as if they were playing favorites so they gave the "Best Flyer" award to a girl, who had been flying very sporadically, because she tried.
The coach apologized to Amber later because she (the Coach) was surprised at the collective GASP from the crowd when Amber's name wasn't called. It's not like Amber won it every year. She has had to compete with upperclassmen and this was the first year she was the front runner.
Absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!
So, OP, I understand your vent. I asked the coach "What exactly does Amber need to improve upon to be chosen "Best Flyer" next year?" She got my point!!!
It won't be the deciding factor for Amber's future but being recognized in front of your peers IS a big deal to children.
These awards should be decided on MERIT not EFFORT!!!

WOW. Two of them.

 

[Acklander]

These awards should be decided on MERIT not EFFORT!!!

I agree with this. And I also think sports awards should be for sports, NOT for grades. There are plenty of academic awards that the kids on the honor roll can win. Let the kids who is good at sports have their moment in the limelight as well.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Athletic Scholar awards are very commonly given out, especially at the high school level. I think it's a great way to honor those who do well in sports and manage to keep their grades up too.

 

[alamashdar]

WOW. Two of them.

Two of what?

Mommies who try and teach their children what the meaning of "fair" is?

I explained to Amber the exact meaning!!!

I was respectful. Amber and I discussed this in the car on the way home. Not in front of everyone. Nor did I speak with the coach during the banquet. I spoke with her the next day in private.
Right is right and wrong is wrong no matter how you try and slice it!!!

 

[Mermaid02]

Two of what?

Mommies who try and teach their children what the meaning of "fair" is?

I explained to Amber the exact meaning!!!

I was respectful. Amber and I discussed this in the car on the way home. Not in front of everyone. Nor did I speak with the coach during the banquet. I spoke with her the next day in private.
Right is right and wrong is wrong no matter how you try and slice it!!!

I'm sure there was a reason your daughter wasn't chosen- the coach made her decision and second guessing her/him is sour grapes. Unless the award was given on a point system- it sounds like a judgement call and the coach made it. Possibly attitude and teamwork were components.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

She has scouts from OSU and UK looking at her for scholarships because of her awesome abilities as a flyer.

Respectfully snipped.

These are 2 of the best schools for cheerleading, and they are considering your daughter! And you're worried about some "pretend" honor that the gym made up?

The interest from those schools is vastly more important than any little trinket the gym gives out.

As to the OP, I'm sure that the academic portion of the sports award is probably a minimum requirement. It doesn't mean the winner has to have straight A's, but that they are meeting the requirements of the school. This is the way it should be, I never understood why people try to combine sports and academics into one thing. I'm sure they don't give out an award for the Best-Biology-Student-Who-Also-Is-Good-At-Geometry.

 

[alamashdar]

Yes, a judgment call with an apology afterward for her mistake.
I haven't brought it up since, nor will I.
I was merely responding with sympathy for the OP of this thread.

 

[Mermaid02]

Yes, a judgment call with an apology afterward for her mistake.
I haven't brought it up since, nor will I.
I was merely responding with sympathy for the OP of this thread.

I'm curious as to what she said when she called to apologize.

 

[alamashdar]

She explained that the award was given to the other girl because she didn't want everyone to think she was playing favorites because of Amber's abilities and future. She went onto tell me that Amber was the most qualified but some of the other parents may have seen it as favoritism. The coach apologized to Amber and told her she had made a mistake.
The biggest thing to me is it hurt Amber's feelings.
Was I rude? No.
Was Amber? No.
Did she not get the award because of her lack of team effort? No.
I'm not bitter nor speaking to the tune of "sour grapes," I just DO NOT believe giving out an award when you clearly didn't earn it teaches children anything!

 

[agnes!]

alamashdar -

Because of the situation you mentioned and possible ramifications, you should probably delete all references to your DD's real name.

agnes!

 

[luvsJack]

You know, ds played on the varsity baseball team as a freshman and had the highest batting average. When the awards ceremony came around the coach gave the batting award to a senior. The other seniors were quiet insulted that it didn't go to ds as, in their opinion, it should have.

I didn't get upset or even comment. Its a piece of paper that all these years later would be locked up in a trunk somewhere or in a closet. When one of the other boys said something to ds that night, I simply stated that ds had 3 more years and that this night was really for the seniors (although it really isn't that way, I didn't want them to keep saying stuff for the other boy to hear), I left it at that.

Ds won plenty of awards in baseball including all division, all state, MS player to watch, etc. etc. that one certificate didn't matter a hill of beans. Besides he knew what his batting average was without a piece of paper to tell him.



Back to the OP, I think its great when a kid that's NOT a honor roll student wins something like the sports award. I HATE when the same group of kids when every award there is and while I don't think "everyone" should get an award but I think that things could be given just as fairly and to people just as deserving and be spread out just a bit.

Sometimes kid work very, very hard and do deserve some recognition even if they don't hit perfection.

For instance, ds was team mates with another boy from the time they were about 8 through summer ball in high school (they went to different high schools). The boy was a good player but not a "all star". He never stood out in the crowd. But he worked hard, had a great attitude and was just the greatest kid you ever want to meet. He never won one award in high school for his hard work, all of those went to the "star" players (2 or 3 boys). He went on to get a great scholarship to a great college to play ball and last we heard from him had a great chance at being drafted into the pros. No one deserved it more. Some times its just not all about being the best.

 

[Jennasis]

Sounds like sour grapes to me.

Life isn't fair. And it's just a silly made up award given out by the school.