Can I have a mommy vent!

[MELSMICE]

My problem with how awards are decided for a sports banquet is majority of the "deciders" want to push children through on effort.

"No Johnnie, you you weren't the best but you tried hard so let's not award the person who deserves it, let's award you because you tried."

REALLY?!?!?!?
My daughter is in her 12th season of All Star cheerleading at a private gym. She has scouts from OSU and UK looking at her for scholarships because of her awesome abilities as a flyer.
So, when it came to the banquet, they didn't want to seem as if they were playing favorites so they gave the "Best Flyer" award to a girl, who had been flying very sporadically, because she tried.
The coach apologized to Amber later because she (the Coach) was surprised at the collective GASP from the crowd when Amber's name wasn't called. It's not like Amber won it every year. She has had to compete with upperclassmen and this was the first year she was the front runner.
Absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!
So, OP, I understand your vent. I asked the coach "What exactly does Amber need to improve upon to be chosen "Best Flyer" next year?" She got my point!!!
It won't be the deciding factor for Amber's future but being recognized in front of your peers IS a big deal to children.
These awards should be decided on MERIT not EFFORT!!!

I realize in this case, you spoke with the coach & the coach said she gave the award to the wrong person.

That aside, I wanted to address what I bolded. In some cases, it's not always the "best" that wins. I award "Outstanding Achievement Awards" at my studio each year. Every instructors choose 1 or 2 kids that have done an outstanding job during the year. They are brought out on stage at the end of our performance. I explain that this award is not always given to the child that is the "best" in the class, but is given to the child that has worked tirelessly to improve during the year, always comes to class with a great attitude & is ready & willing to work hard every week. Sometimes it is the best student, but most times it is not.

I can't say for sure if this was the case with your DD, but it might have something to do with it.

These are 2 of the best schools for cheerleading, and they are considering your daughter! And you're worried about some "pretend" honor that the gym made up?

I seriously never knew there were colleges that recruited cheerleaders. Learn something new every day!

Do they give academic scholarships/awards for cheerleading?

 

[allison443]

We went to DS 6th grade dinner tonight & they gave out the boys sports award it based on first grades then sports. The kid who got never made honor roll this year & I don't think any time.

I am not real happy. And to make it worse I had many parents walk up to me & tell me they thought DS was going to get it. I thought Another boy was going to get it.

Urrgg!!

Thanks for letting me vent

Kae

The way you describe it the criteria is very unclear. You say the award is based on first, grades, then sports. So is it supposed to go to the kid with the best grades? It doesn't seem so, since you said sports is also a consideration. This sounds like it allows for a subjective judgment on the part of the award givers as to what weight they will give to the academic part and what weight they give to the sports part.
I guess your kid has the best grades so you think he should get the award? I don't think that's necessarily true if it also allows for consideration of the athletic factor.

 

[LaurenLC]

The problem is that we give kids in school awards for EVERYTHING, and everyone is a winner! That is why when some come out into the real world they have unrealistic expectations of salary and benefits (mostly vacation). You are not rewarded on your effort; you are rewarded on your results.

 

[allison443]

My problem with how awards are decided for a sports banquet is majority of the "deciders" want to push children through on effort.

"No Johnnie, you you weren't the best but you tried hard so let's not award the person who deserves it, let's award you because you tried."

REALLY?!?!?!?
My daughter is in her 12th season of All Star cheerleading at a private gym. She has scouts from OSU and UK looking at her for scholarships because of her awesome abilities as a flyer.
So, when it came to the banquet, they didn't want to seem as if they were playing favorites so they gave the "Best Flyer" award to a girl, who had been flying very sporadically, because she tried.
The coach apologized to Amber later because she (the Coach) was surprised at the collective GASP from the crowd when Amber's name wasn't called. It's not like Amber won it every year. She has had to compete with upperclassmen and this was the first year she was the front runner.
Absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!
So, OP, I understand your vent. I asked the coach "What exactly does Amber need to improve upon to be chosen "Best Flyer" next year?" She got my point!!!
It won't be the deciding factor for Amber's future but being recognized in front of your peers IS a big deal to children.
These awards should be decided on MERIT not EFFORT!!!

See, your award was different from the OP's in my opinion...yours said "best flyer" so it should have gone to the best flyer...OP's award was based on two criteria and that allows more leeway in weighting the different factors.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

The problem is that we give kids in school awards for EVERYTHING, and everyone is a winner! That is why when some come out into the real world they have unrealistic expectations of salary and benefits (mostly vacation). You are not rewarded on your effort; you are rewarded on your results.

Unless you're a public school teacher.

The above statement is purely for laughs.

 

[allison443]

The problem is that we give kids in school awards for EVERYTHING, and everyone is a winner! That is why when some come out into the real world they have unrealistic expectations of salary and benefits (mostly vacation). You are not rewarded on your effort; you are rewarded on your results.

I often hear people say this, especially on the dis, but have you actually seen this? I have kids now ranging from 13 to 23. Yes, they may have gotten participation awards for soccer or softball when they were 6 years old, but believe me there is no "everyone is a winner" in middle school or high school sports. Nor does "everyone get an award" for academics, etc. It is actually quite competitive and also at times cut-throat!! Everything from class rank, scholarships, and college admissions is so very competitive!

The job market for young people right now is very difficult, so I think most of them are happy to get a job.

I don't know where people live where "everyone is a winner" beyond, say, 6 or 7 years old. Sometimes it's more like the opposite: there is first place, and second place is considered "first loser".

 

[luvmy3]

We went to DS 6th grade dinner tonight & they gave out the boys sports award it based on first grades then sports. The kid who got never made honor roll this year & I don't think any time.

I am not real happy. And to make it worse I had many parents walk up to me & tell me they thought DS was going to get it. I thought Another boy was going to get it.

Urrgg!!

Thanks for letting me vent

Kae

Your description of the award is very vague, what is the exact title of the award?

I can see being disappointed that your child didn't get it, but to get so upset, and just assume that the recipient isn't as deserving (because you didn't see him at the honor roll banquet, or because you dont know if he ever made honor roll before) is a bit petty.

 

[allison443]

The problem is that we give kids in school awards for EVERYTHING, and everyone is a winner! That is why when some come out into the real world they have unrealistic expectations of salary and benefits (mostly vacation). You are not rewarded on your effort; you are rewarded on your results.

I certainly don't think everyone should get an award for everything, but I try to teach my kids that trying your best is very important even though you don't get the reward or trophy. For example, my child had a school subject that she really struggled with. She tried as hard as she could but could not get an A. I commended her for her effort even though she certainly didn't get any awards for it and her results were not the best. KWIM?

 

[alamashdar]

I realize in this case, you spoke with the coach & the coach said she gave the award to the wrong person.

That aside, I wanted to address what I bolded. In some cases, it's not always the "best" that wins. I award "Outstanding Achievement Awards" at my studio each year. Every instructors choose 1 or 2 kids that have done an outstanding job during the year. They are brought out on stage at the end of our performance. I explain that this award is not always given to the child that is the "best" in the class, but is given to the child that has worked tirelessly to improve during the year, always comes to class with a great attitude & is ready & willing to work hard every week. Sometimes it is the best student, but most times it is not.

I can't say for sure if this was the case with your DD, but it might have something to do with it.


I seriously never knew there were colleges that recruited cheerleaders. Learn something new every day!

Do they give academic scholarships/awards for cheerleading?

I'm not aware of any academic scholarships for cheerleaders, and I've looked , but I do know if the grades aren't there in high school then the cheer scholarship is null and void. They must be a well rounded athlete for most cheerleading programs.

Please don't misunderstand, I wish the other girl NO ill will, I was just letting the OP know she's not alone.

 

[MELSMICE]

I'm not aware of any academic scholarships for cheerleaders, and I've looked , but I do know if the grades aren't there in high school then the cheer scholarship is null and void. They must be a well rounded athlete for most cheerleading programs.

Please don't misunderstand, I wish the other girl NO ill will, I was just letting the OP know she's not alone.

I guess I mean sports scholarships also. Do they have those for cheerleading?

 

[crashbb]

OP.

I get what you're trying to say. I'm sure you were disappointed, and maybe shocked if you were expecting an award and didn't get one. There must be some reason, they choose this other child. maybe they forgot your child. But here's the thing... turn it around and teach your child this... "life's not fair"... get used to it.... cause sometimes it's in your favor, and other times it's not, and the sooner they realize it, they'll be able to bettercope with life's disappointments. even though they may have deserved to win, for some reason, they didn't.... and maybe next time, it will be the opposite. Everything is not always fair and square, but don't let it ruin his experience or let him have bad feelings towards the team, or the other child... even if he didn't deserve it, he's not the one who picked the winner, he just won it, so accept it graciously, and move on... Unless of course the parents bribed them. (kidding_)

Sorry, but I disagree with this advice.

This seems to be essentially telling her son "We know you should have won, but the other kid did. Yes, this is unfair, but life is unfair". The message should be: "The other kid apparently fit the criteria of the award better than you did. Life goes on".

 

[HM]

In our schools, 6th graders are not allowed to even participate. Be glad your son was able to be on a team at all.

Our middle school does two sports banquets (pot-luck style) each year (Fall and Winter/Spring). They give away three awards for each sport: Most Improved, Best Overall, and Coaches Award (they can use whatever criteria they want for it). Each child on the team receives a certificate of participation.

 

[MushyMushy]

I often hear people say this, especially on the dis, but have you actually seen this? I have kids now ranging from 13 to 23. Yes, they may have gotten participation awards for soccer or softball when they were 6 years old, but believe me there is no "everyone is a winner" in middle school or high school sports. Nor does "everyone get an award" for academics, etc. It is actually quite competitive and also at times cut-throat!! Everything from class rank, scholarships, and college admissions is so very competitive!

The job market for young people right now is very difficult, so I think most of them are happy to get a job.

I don't know where people live where "everyone is a winner" beyond, say, 6 or 7 years old. Sometimes it's more like the opposite: there is first place, and second place is considered "first loser".

I'm with you -- that's not the way it is here beyond early elementary school. At that age, I see nothing wrong with playing sports for the fun of it and giving out participation awards. But then, there are those who would begrudge even that to other kids.

 

[alamashdar]

Yes. Full scholarships are offered for cheerleaders. University of Hawaii is another college (in addition to OSU and UK) that offers full scholarships. Partial scholarships for cheerleaders are offered at majority of other colleges.

 

[MELSMICE]

Sorry, but I disagree with this advice.

This seems to be essentially telling her son "We know you should have won, but the other kid did. Yes, this is unfair, but life is unfair". The message should be: "The other kid apparently fit the criteria of the award better than you did. Life goes on".

I agree with this. Life is competitive, life has it's challenges. You didn't win this time. Move on.

We have 3 DD - 2 of which are twins. The oldest received a fair share of awards throughout high school - others received more.

Twin "B" has received more awards than our oldest throughout high school, but she works harder & is more involved.

Twin "A" has not received nearly as many awards as the other 2. She is extremely involved. School doesn't come easy for her, but she also doesn't always put forth the effort when something becomes challenging. She's gotten a fair amount of awards, but maybe could obtain more. That's life though.

On the flip side, Twin "A" will be a successful person in life for other reasons. She is the first to drive across town because a friend missed the bus & she needs to be picked up for school - thus she'll be late for school. She's the first to help a teacher out after class, possibly missing a test & having to make it up. She's the kid that will stay up all hours of the night making sure her sisters or a friend get home safe if they are out - making herself exhausted for school the next day.

My oldest DD is really a self-centered person a lot of the time (much to mine & DH's chagrin). She's in for a rude awakening when real life slaps her in the face. Twin "B" is very nonchalant & indifferent at times.

I guess my point is, all those awards doesn't mean that person will be successful & they don't always tell the real story of the character of the person.

(I sound like a mean mom.....I love all my girls............strengths, weaknesses & faults!!!)

 

[scrapquitler]

Because he was not at the Honor Banquet & he did not stand up when they had the Honor roll kids stand up.

Kae

This doesn't necessarily mean that he wasn't on the honor roll, they just might not have announced his name because he wasn't there.

 

[DizBelle]

That is a bit odd. I can see there being a minimum GPA requirement but a sports award is a sports award and should be based on the sports aspect first and foremost. Would they also only give academic awards to people who can show a minimum ability in sports? It seems inconsistent to apply both criteria to one without also applying both to the other.

A complete idiot who is the best at hitting the ball is still the best at hitting the ball after all.

There you go again.... Bringing logic into the discussion. Haven't you figured out that logic left the world a long time ago?

 

[DizBelle]

You know, ds played on the varsity baseball team as a freshman and had the highest batting average. When the awards ceremony came around the coach gave the batting award to a senior. The other seniors were quiet insulted that it didn't go to ds as, in their opinion, it should have.

I didn't get upset or even comment. Its a piece of paper that all these years later would be locked up in a trunk somewhere or in a closet. When one of the other boys said something to ds that night, I simply stated that ds had 3 more years and that this night was really for the seniors (although it really isn't that way, I didn't want them to keep saying stuff for the other boy to hear), I left it at that.

Ds won plenty of awards in baseball including all division, all state, MS player to watch, etc. etc. that one certificate didn't matter a hill of beans. Besides he knew what his batting average was without a piece of paper to tell him.



Back to the OP, I think its great when a kid that's NOT a honor roll student wins something like the sports award. I HATE when the same group of kids when every award there is and while I don't think "everyone" should get an award but I think that things could be given just as fairly and to people just as deserving and be spread out just a bit.

Sometimes kid work very, very hard and do deserve some recognition even if they don't hit perfection.

For instance, ds was team mates with another boy from the time they were about 8 through summer ball in high school (they went to different high schools). The boy was a good player but not a "all star". He never stood out in the crowd. But he worked hard, had a great attitude and was just the greatest kid you ever want to meet. He never won one award in high school for his hard work, all of those went to the "star" players (2 or 3 boys). He went on to get a great scholarship to a great college to play ball and last we heard from him had a great chance at being drafted into the pros. No one deserved it more. Some times its just not all about being the best.

Then he should have gotten the "Worked Hardest" award rather than the "Best Batting" award. Is that only obvious to me?

 

[Mickey's Minion]

My problem with how awards are decided for a sports banquet is majority of the "deciders" want to push children through on effort.

"No Johnnie, you you weren't the best but you tried hard so let's not award the person who deserves it, let's award you because you tried."

REALLY?!?!?!?
My daughter is in her 12th season of All Star cheerleading at a private gym. She has scouts from OSU and UK looking at her for scholarships because of her awesome abilities as a flyer.
So, when it came to the banquet, they didn't want to seem as if they were playing favorites so they gave the "Best Flyer" award to a girl, who had been flying very sporadically, because she tried.
The coach apologized to Amber later because she (the Coach) was surprised at the collective GASP from the crowd when Amber's name wasn't called. It's not like Amber won it every year. She has had to compete with upperclassmen and this was the first year she was the front runner.
Absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!
So, OP, I understand your vent. I asked the coach "What exactly does Amber need to improve upon to be chosen "Best Flyer" next year?" She got my point!!!
It won't be the deciding factor for Amber's future but being recognized in front of your peers IS a big deal to children.
These awards should be decided on MERIT not EFFORT!!!

Our awards are based on Merit. But Merit includes other things besides just the skill.

It includes things like attitude, work ethic, willingness to help others, etc.

You can be the most skilled at flying, swimming, basketball, baseball, etc, however, if you walk around with a DIVA attitude, there is no way you MERIT the award.

Perhaps other factors besides just the actual skill of Flying was taken into account?

Also, even though it shouldn't, I have seen many times that parental attitudes color the selection process.

 

[goofy!]

I often hear people say this, especially on the dis, but have you actually seen this? I have kids now ranging from 13 to 23. Yes, they may have gotten participation awards for soccer or softball when they were 6 years old, but believe me there is no "everyone is a winner" in middle school or high school sports. Nor does "everyone get an award" for academics, etc. It is actually quite competitive and also at times cut-throat!! Everything from class rank, scholarships, and college admissions is so very competitive!

The job market for young people right now is very difficult, so I think most of them are happy to get a job.

I don't know where people live where "everyone is a winner" beyond, say, 6 or 7 years old. Sometimes it's more like the opposite: there is first place, and second place is considered "first loser".

In the 6th grade where I work, every single 6th grader gets an award throughout the year. They hand out awards each trimester and every kid gets one sometime during the year. The are incredibly silly like "karate kid" for a kid that does karate. But they give an award to each kid.