Calling someone "Dr." outside of medical setting

[WDWJDS]

No, she earned the degree. The title exists within the realm of its use. I have a title at work that took 20+ years to earn. I don't ask people outside of work to recognize it because quite frankly, that would be ridiculous.

 

[Disney Doll]

Yikes.

We went to a wedding yesterday (Saturday). Sat at the table. When one of the men found out my husband was an attorney ~ it didn't go well. Bad divorce for him I guess but I was Really? Isn't this a beautiful wedding..... He didn't do your divorce!

A recently divorced person at a wedding? A lethal combo!!

When I am in a social situation and tell people I'm a nurse I am usually fortunate enough to be regaled with a description about every bad nurse they've ever encountered. After we have finished THAT conversation, we usually move on to their ailments, how they are being treated and what bodily functions occur because of the treatment.

Charming....

 

[aprilchem]

I'm a college professor and have a Ph.D. in chemistry. We are required to be called "Dr. ___" or "Professor _____" at work. Outside of work my peers call me by my first name. If somebody is going to address me formally, however (like a child) I prefer to be called Dr. rather than Mrs. ______.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I would not call someone with a Phd "doctor" in any setting. A medical doctor, yes.

 

[luvsJack]

I would not call someone with a Phd "doctor" in any setting. A medical doctor, yes.

May I ask why? They have earned their title, just as anyone with a MD.

I don't think anyone that is on a first name basis with them should have to call them Dr. but in place of Mr. or Mrs.; yes they should be called by that title.

 

[TinkerBelled]

In a formal social situation or a professional setting, I refer to people by the titles that they've earned or been granted. Medical doctors would be referred to as Dr. Smith. Academic doctors would be referred to as Dr. Smith or, if they're employed at a college or university in the States, Professor Smith. Ministers are the Reverend Smith; officers are Captain or Colonel Smith; etc.

I will admit that I don't personally know many people who have academic degrees but work outside of academia/education. However, especially in a professional setting, I would refer to him or her by formal title until instructed otherwise.

At my dinner parties, it would be Joe or Martha.

The only place where this might cause confusion is in a medical context--e.g. you're in a hospital with an English PhD and a surgeon and don't want people to think the Romantic poetry expert might be the one operating. The chances of this happening are rare.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I'm a college professor and have a Ph.D. in chemistry. We are required to be called "Dr. ___" or "Professor _____" at work. Outside of work my peers call me by my first name. If somebody is going to address me formally, however (like a child) I prefer to be called Dr. rather than Mrs. ______.

This to me is totally normal and what I'd expect.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Academic degrees are earned, not obtained. I have worked in a variety of academic settings. To not address someone by their title, especially when they ask you too is rude.

People with advanced degrees who work in academics are rightfully referred to as "Dr Last Name" by their peers and students at work and other formal settings where Mr or Mrs would otherwise be used.

People with advanced film degrees who insist small children call them "Dr First Name" at their daycare job have issues.

 

[nene0182]

My MIL has two PHDs and teaches. She uses Dr professionally when teaching and in publications whether for her work as well as for the plays and books she writes. But, I have never seen her introduce herself as Dr and I've never introduced her as such either. I think it's definitely a personal preference and one that should be respected. If someone introduces themselves to me as Dr so and so, I wouldn't automatically call them by their first name.

 

[pogo791]

I'm a college professor and have a Ph.D. in chemistry. We are required to be called "Dr. ___" or "Professor _____" at work. Outside of work my peers call me by my first name. If somebody is going to address me formally, however (like a child) I prefer to be called Dr. rather than Mrs. ______.

I'm in a corresponding situation in academia, with my doctorate in law. I've also worked long periods in government. In an academic setting, "Dr ___" and "Professor ___" are standard, and indeed the default option: if I meet someone at a conference, we usually get to a first-name basis fairly quickly, but if I'm sending e-mails or asking for someone over the phone, and there is the slightest bit of doubt, I would always use the honorific.

When I was in government, I was very much involved in international work, and learned quite soon that titles matter. In my experience, especially the Germans are very particular about titles. In Germany, if you have completed your doctorate (what the Germans call the Habilitationsschrift, the "qualifying thesis"), you are not simply a "Dr", you are a "Dr Dr". (I kid you not!) I remember one German professor who always used his full title: "Professor Dr Dr _____ (honoris causa, mult)", which was quite a mouthful. The "Professor" alluded to his present academic position, the "Dr Dr" to the fact that he has a doctorate, the "honoris causa" to the fact that he had received one honorary doctorate, and the "mult" the fact that he has more than one honorary doctorate. Woe the poor pencil-pusher who left even one of these elements out of his title!

 

[Jaime4004]

I've never understood the need to address people based on what they do for a living outside of the professional situation.

That being said, if someone is insistent on it I'm not going to argue with them. I'll just think they're either a snob or very insecure since they need to insist on the title to prove self worth.

I don't get it either... Appropriate at work, pretentious outside of work, IMO.
That being said, I will call you whatever you prefer. I generally use first names when greeting someone. It's way more friendly. If they introduce themselves as Dr. or Mr, etc, then that's what I'll use, but it's rare for me that someone introduces themselves that way. I automatically greet patients with their first name and introduce myself with my first name. Occasionally people use names completely unrelated to their first, middle or last name, so i'll use that. "Hi, Martha" "Actually, I've always gone by Alice." "Okay, hi Alice."
I cringe internally when I go to my kids school and am referred to as "Mrs." Always tell my kid's friends to call me by my first name.
I think it just depends on how you grew up. We were informal people, I prefer to keep it that way... I also never sign my name professionally with every certification and degree i've ever "earned," as many others do. Seems time consuming...

 

[FireDancer]

Unless I am seeing you as a doctor no, I will not address you as doctor. When I leave work I leave work, title and all. I don't see "earning" a medical degree and title as any different then earning any other degree or title.

If, for example, I was sending out a letter to someone who is a Dr. but I'm inviting them to a birthday party or something unrelated to their career it would be Mr & Mrs, not Dr & Mrs or Mr & Dr. Personally I see asking to be called Doctor in social, non work-related settings equal parts pretentious and asinine.

 

[Burnedout]

I think it makes as much sense to call a person by an earned title as it is to use their genitals as reference.

Eta: or whether they managed to get married...

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I think it makes as much sense to call a person by an earned title as it is to use their genitals as reference.

 

[kathie859]

I have to wonder if this is a generational thing? As an older adult, I appreciate the rules of manners which gives good direction in how to behave. I cringe when an 18 yr old receptionist (or young nurse, etc) calls me "Katherine". Call me Mrs.xxxx, if I prefer to be called by my first name, I'll let you know. I think it's the same for those who have earned ANY type of title! Whether it be General, Father, Pastor, or Doctor. Use the title to show respect, if they care one way or another, they'll let you know. To refuse to acknowledge a person's accomplishment and plead "I'm just an informal person" just doesn't wash.

 

[jdb in AZ]

My uncle is a medical doctor and when his wife completed her PhD, she used both his and her titles on their return address labels. Dr. John and Dr. Lou Ann XXXX.

I worked at a small college and took the "minutes" at a policy board meeting. On the list of attendees I left off the "Dr." title of one of the professors, and she really let me know that was not acceptable.

 

[khertz]

It totally depends on the setting and how I am acquainted with the person. I work as a nurse, so of course all of the medical doctors I work with, I would always address as Dr. Lastname, whether inside the hospital or if I ran into them at church or the grocery store, because that is how I am acquainted with them.

My DH and I became friends with a fellow DIS'er and even spent a little time with him on our last trip while he was traveling solo. He is an MD, but we have always known him by his first name, so that is what we call him. My son called him "Mr. Firstname" whenever we were around each other. Same with a close friend from high school who is in medical school to become a neurosurgeon. I don't call her Dr. anything, I still call her by her first name like I always have.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

This conversation reminds me of Big Bang Theory:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdi3FIrsHgo

FWIW, I work for lawyers. No one EVER calls each other "Attorney" so and so, except attorneys who call from Connecticut and one or two other places. They will call and say this is Attorney So and So, is Attorney So and So available? It always smacks of "I'm very important you should put me through". And FTR, probably 80-90% of the people who call here on a daily basis are attorneys, so I'm unimpressed.

 

[eliza61]

I don't address perfect strangers by their first name until they tell me it's ok.
I don't let perfect strangers address me by my first name.

If you call me and simply ask for Eliza and I don't know you, I will correct you. when I use to get solicitations over the phone and they used my first name I politely told them that Eliza was not available but Mrs X or Dr.X (if the call came through at work) was.

You mean to tell me you guys routinely call strangers by their first names? IMO it's not about "impressing" anyone it's about manners. You are a stranger, you don't know me, using my first name implies a familarity that does not exsist.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I don't address perfect strangers by their first name until they tell me it's ok.
I don't let perfect strangers address me by my first name.

If you call me and simply ask for Eliza and I don't know you, I will correct you. when I use to get solicitations over the phone and they used my first name I politely told them that Eliza was not available but Mrs X or Dr.X (if the call came through at work) was.

You mean to tell me you guys routinely call strangers by their first names?

No, nor would I know you were a doctor if I were a perfect stranger. Everyone would be Mr. or Ms. However, I have gotten backlash for using Ms. and been corrected to use Mrs. or visa versa. People get touchy about it sometimes. And what do you do with the ambiguous "Pat". You're bound to offend if you use Mr. and it's Ms. or Ms. and and it's Mr. Sometimes you can't win for trying.

FWIW, I always use Mr., Ms., Mrs. until told otherwise. But I do find it amusing that my "position" gives others the right to refer to me by my first name without being invited to do so. Just because I'm a secretary without a degree, it gives others the right to refer to me by my first name? There are plenty of instances where others feel it's fine to call you by your first name because of the job you do. I find that hypocritical.