Bully issues...

[binny]

The school just called ( anyone get a knot in the pit of their stomach when they see that number on the caller ID?) It was the school advocate ( or something like that I didnt catch the whole title) she said " Cameron is not seriously injured but.... he IS hurt. A child came up behind him and grabbed him around the neck and threw him to the ground, he has red marks on his neck but he is ok"

So after I get over the initial desperate need to go and scoop up my child in my arms, I am livid!!

I know that I dont have all the information yet and I will get it before I get even more angry but come on!! This is Elementary school! The advocate said that this kid grabbed Cam around the neck! He has strangle marks on his neck!


What do I do here?


She said that she is " aware of the situation and it is being handled" well Im sorry but I want to KNOW how youre handling it!! She said she couldnt disclose this information because of privacy issues. Right now, I think that kid has just given UP his privacy rights!!

I think if it were reversed I would be more than willing to let the other parent just how I was going to deal with my child. I mean it isnt like he was just messing around, this isnt a common prank imho.

Am I overreacting here? I probably am, UUUGGGHHHH


He will be home in 20 minutes how do I handle this?

 

[DemonLlama]

My 4th grader had two incidences this past year that were similar. In the first, it involved some little punk carrying a pocket knife to school and threatening kids with it before classes started. In the second, a different little punk grabbed my DS in a headlock in the boy's bathroom after lunch. My DS didn't even know this kid. Luckily, he had two buddies there who knocked the kid off him and they went straight to the teacher.

In the first case, the kid was moved to the Alternative Campus for the rest of the year. In the second, the kid was removed for a month. I wasn't really happy about the second case, since this kid obviously has some issues with attacking strangers and two weeks wasn't going to solve any of that, but the home life I imagine these kids have, even the one year sentence of the first case probably isn't going to change much.

This is the first year my son has ever even been called to the principal's office , so it was a big deal for him to have to recount what happened. Even with the good kids who follow the rules and do well, the real world seems to intrude.

Take a deep breath and try to get your son to talk it through with you. Go to the school tomorrow and talk with the person in charge and insist on a suitable punishment.

Take pictures of your DS's neck RIGHT AWAY, and if the school seems reluctant to persue the matter, be sure to let them know you will be filing police charges. THEN DO IT. I wish I'd followed thorugh on my own DSs "headlock" case. Once it's on file, if it happens again (to anyone), the case will be much stronger against the offender.

A friend of mine's 3rd grader got jumped by a gang of three boys in April and they pressed charges against all three. He only had some cuts and bruises, but this was likely because an adult intervened quickly. All three of them were known troublemakers at the school, but no one had ever followed through and filed the charges to start a case against them so they could be sent to juvenile court when they tried this on some other little kid.

Of course, not knowing the details, this may be over the top, but at least it lets you know you're not alone!

{{{HUGS!!}}}

 

[Pembo]

My 7 yo had a bully problem this past year. He had SCRATCH marks on his face. When I met with the principal he did tell me that they were talking to the other childs parents and that he (the principal) was going to talk to the child as well. The kid did leave my son alone somewhat.

I'd go in and talk to the principal right away. Ask what the bully policy is at the school. (Zero tolerance should be the answer. IMHO) Also you can file a police report. Sometimes the threat of calling the police will let the school know you mean business.

Best of luck to you and your ds.

 

[binny]

UGH well this is only getting worse now that I have the information.

This is a kid hes known for 2 years, they were all playing a game ( most of his group) and his kid came up and grabbed him around the neck and hauled him to the ground. He says his neck hurts when he turns it to the right. I asked if this was an accident ( I know I know but I had to ask) and he sai no. I asked him if anything else has happened lately and he said tha yesterday this boy kicked him in the arms, Cam said that the boy said he was just showing off and didnt mean to kick him but Cam said he thought he was lying and was trying to get out of it.

This isnt a bad kid normally, Ive worked with him at school on reading and stuff and never had any issues with him.

Cam doesnt have any visible marks on his neck but like I said he says it hurts.

 

[piratesmate]

I think I would make a follow up call to the school & let them know about the incident yesterday. It sounds like something is going on SOMEwhere in this boy's life & perhaps they'll be able nip it in the bud.

Also, if your son's neck is still sore in the AM - or worse this evening - I'd call the doctor. It's logical that it would be sore, but if he can't turn his head it sounds like this was a serious incident. Depending on how serious, I would think that doctor would be required to report it and he may even contact the school.

I'm so sorry this happened. Give him an extra hug tonight from all of us here.

Deb