Budget wedding gift

[MissyDVC]

I don't understand why people always have to say things like this. It is simply customary where we live. The same way a gift table is customary in other areas. It doesn't mean you have to do it but most of us here use it as a guideline.

I was going to say the same thing.

 

[mjkacmom]

Where is the wedding? Here in NJ, no one gives gifts - just cash. I usually give $150 per adult (my kids have never been invited to a wedding here).

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would never donate to a political cause or something of that nature in another person's name -

Who could look down their nose at or not appreciate a gift to Make-A-Wish, Habitat for Humanity, the Humane Society or other well respected charity?
You really don't have to even put 'their' names on it - you can just make a donation to the organization with thoughts of them - don't be a stick in the mud.

I for one really appreciated it when my Brother and Sister in law donated a flock of ducks through Heifer International - it was touching. Here we are with card after card with cash and check in them - wedding gifts that in reality we still haven't used much if at all - but that gift has kept on giving to provide for a destitute family in the 3rd world.

Charity gift giving is a viable option and it has been on the rise since 9/11. A greater percentage of Americans give to charity at least once a year since that tragedy.

It has nothing to do with looking down your nose. While the charities you mentioned are nice it doesn't mean that they are something that I or someone else would like to support. You liked the flock of ducks and it sounds great but I would have preferred a different charity. Giving to charity is a personal thing. That doesn't make someone a "stick in the mud" as you say.

 

[Spoonful_Of_Sugar]

I would look on the web to find a china store outlet. I found that there is a Mikasa outlet store close to me were I have got really nice things for less than half off. This way you can spend your 50$ and it looks like you spent more.

 

[michellejed]

Wow, we have been out of the loop for weddings around here, waiting for the grands to get old enough and all our friends kids are already married.

I was shocked to think that any one would expect to "cover a plate"! Why not just save the money and not invite some one you don't really want at the wedding just to get the "Gift" and if I was paying for a wedding then I would never expect my guest to "cover a plate"! In fact I wouldn't care if there were no gifts, you would have been invited because you meant something to the family and your being there to celebrate would have been enough.!

Sad when people only think about what they can get or feel entitled to!

I would give a check instead of a gift card, and any amount you care to give should be appreciated.

 

[ptmmg]

I am also from the NY/NJ area so things here are nuts and not normal. I would go with a gift vs. a gift card.

I always think Tiffany & co. make great "gifts" that look more expensive than they are. They wrap it beautifully!

For example
http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Ite...params=s+5-p+3-c+563630-r+-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+

Or less expensive

get a pair of champagne flutes
http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Ite...params=s+5-p+2-c+563630-r+-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+

I love the flutes If I got those from Tiffany i would have thought they were a lot more expensive!!

 

[elaine and the boys]

If you decide to give a gift card, any amount to the store where they are registered would be a thoughtful gift. That way the couple can put it toward something they originally wanted.

 

[elaine and the boys]

Here's a thought:
Would it be appropriate if you lived in a resort community (like Cape Cod), to give the gift of an invitation to stay at your home for a future vacation?

Is this tacky....or coming across as "cheap"? Hmmmmmm.......

 

[ptmmg]

Here's a thought:
Would it be appropriate if you lived in a resort community (like Cape Cod), to give the gift of an invitation to stay at your home for a future vacation?

Is this tacky....or coming across as "cheap"? Hmmmmmm.......

I think if you had a home that you usually rented out for vacations and you gave them a week that would be appropriate. But asking somebody to come visit you as a wedding gift not so sure.

 

[disneymom2003]

I give what I can. Or buy a gift that is on their registry that I can afford.I think $50 is a perfectly acceptable gift. I don't get the cover your plate thing. I have friends that are below my income bracket and some who are way over my income bracket. If someone chooses to have their reception at the Ritz Carlton I can't afford to "cover my plate". It just is not in my budget. I thought the idea of being invited to some ones wedding was to share their special day.

 

[elaine and the boys]

I think if you had a home that you usually rented out for vacations and you gave them a week that would be appropriate. But asking somebody to come visit you as a wedding gift not so sure.

Agreed....THAT would be pretty cheesy!!!!!

 

[indimom]

HOLY COW!!!! $150 a plate for dinner!!!!!!! What are they feeding you????
I know things cost more in New York and such, but WOW.
We had over 300 people at our wedding reception, pretty much everyone we knew. The hall was $750, the meal was $600 and the cake was $200. These amounts just blow my mind. (I admit this was 15 years ago, but my sis just got married and it was still less than $20 a plate for a nice dinner.)
Sorry for going off topic, but it just amazes me how different things are in different parts of the country.
I try to give generously at weddings, but we couldn't go to any if that was the amount we felt we had to give!! That's almost half our house payment!

OP - I would consider $50 adequate. Make it a gift if the bottom line bothers you. I loved a single set of hand towells embroidered with our new initials we received at our wedding. These were from a cousin in college, so I'm sure she had to budget for a gift. We used them in the guest bath for years.

 

[mjkacmom]

HOLY COW!!!! $150 a plate for dinner!!!!!!! What are they feeding you????
.

Well, you start with a huge cocktail hour with passed food, carving stations, pasta stations, raw bar - think huge buffet. Then you go to another room for dinner - multi-courses (salad, pasta, sorbet, main entree). Thoughout the reception, there is an open bar (appletini, anyone?). Then dessert. Many have the usual viennese table:
http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&...esult_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CC0QsAQwAw

$150 is average.

ETA - here is a local higher-end venue with a typical menu: http://www.themanorrestaurant.com/menus-w.html

 

[SLM]

I've given nice silver or crystal picture frames-they're going to have alot of nice pictures from their wedding and honeymoon. I really hate to think anyone invites wedding guests expecting a gift to equal the cost of their meal. If you invite people that matter to you and your family you shouldn't care if or what they give as a gift. I have a set of salt and pepper shakers from a darling elderly couple that lived in our neighborhood when I was growing up-everytime I take them out and use them I remember them with love-that's the kind of gift I would like to give or receive.

 

[mjkacmom]

Wow, we have been out of the loop for weddings around here, waiting for the grands to get old enough and all our friends kids are already married.

I was shocked to think that any one would expect to "cover a plate"! Why not just save the money and not invite some one you don't really want at the wedding just to get the "Gift" and if I was paying for a wedding then I would never expect my guest to "cover a plate"! In fact I wouldn't care if there were no gifts, you would have been invited because you meant something to the family and your being there to celebrate would have been enough.!

Sad when people only think about what they can get or feel entitled to!

I would give a check instead of a gift card, and any amount you care to give should be appreciated.

Although this topic has been done to death, people in this SMALL area of the country expect to cover their plates. However, those hosting the wedding DON'T expect the guests to cover their plates. We WANT to cover our plates. When my kids attend birthday parties, I expect to spend $20, unless it's a close friend. I don't expect everyone to spend $20 on my kids (actually, no birthday parties this year, because I didn't want the gifts - just a beginning of summer party).

 

[Justsyd2]

I agree that you should find a gift instead of giving a gift card. I'm sure that you can find a nice gift for that price.

As for the "cover your plate" thing...it's a regional tradition...regional traditions are everywhere, so I don't quite get why some people feel that they have to attack the wedding couple over it.

 

[indimom]

Well, you start with a huge cocktail hour with passed food, carving stations, pasta stations, raw bar - think huge buffet. Then you go to another room for dinner - multi-courses (salad, pasta, sorbet, main entree). Thoughout the reception, there is an open bar (appletini, anyone?). Then dessert. Many have the usual viennese table:
http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&...esult_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CC0QsAQwAw

$150 is average.

ETA - here is a local higher-end venue with a typical menu: http://www.themanorrestaurant.com/menus-w.html

By the way, Hope I didn't offend anyone with my first comments. They were not intended as criticism of how things are done.
Thanks for the links, gave me a good idea of the type of wedding you're talking about. (Also explains why there are so many adults-only weddings. No way would I have taken my children to a reception like that when they were younger! I'm not sure I would now!!)
If this is the type of wedding the OP was invited to, I'd go with the nice Tiffany vase....it's only $25 over your budget.

And now I have to go update my status: I think I might be a redneck...

 

[Cooky]

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[Sparkleshine]

Totally loving the Tiffany champagne flute idea. You can include something cute on the card about toasting their marriage. Anything from Tiffany is perceived to be expensive but it isn't a budget buster! I would definitely give a gift rather than a gift card or check if I was worried about my amount being smaller.

 

[csharpwv]

It has nothing to do with looking down your nose. While the charities you mentioned are nice it doesn't mean that they are something that I or someone else would like to support. You liked the flock of ducks and it sounds great but I would have preferred a different charity. Giving to charity is a personal thing. That doesn't make someone a "stick in the mud" as you say.

Have you ever received a gift you really didn't care to receive? LOL
Same principal is at play here - are you going to NOT send a thank you note to someone who donated to a charity you didn't care to support personally?

Just like all gifts - it's the thought that counts.

I think it is very tacky to expect a gift from anyone at your wedding. You invited them - you covered the cost of food and entertainment, without expecting anything in return except for their presence at your wedding - not their presents. If the food was bad, the service was horrible, are you going to ask for your money back?

I guess I grew up in an area that valued gifts, and giving to others more than other areas of the country. So whether you think a charitable gift is a good gift or not - it is a gift.

I think I may give the first of a goat at the next wedding we attend!

It would certainly give the bride and groom a story to tell!