Broken Promise

[Halloweenqueen]

My husband and I were friends for a couple of years before things started to get more serious.

It wasn't until we went to see the Lion King together and he put his arm around me that I knew we were headed in a more serious direction.

We couldn't wait to go see Lion King this weekend with our 5 kids. Unfortunately I have bronchitis so I spent the afternoon at urgent care. Hopefully I will be back to normal for the movie next weekend.

Celebrate how you want to celebrate. There are no directions/instructions in a relationship.

 

[Caropooh]

Well did you ask him how he had money to spend fishing with is buddies but not take you to the movies?

But given this is a 9 month anniversary not exactly a huge life celebration.

Of course not sure what a 9 month anniversary is.

Denise in MI

Add me in to the list of people who has no clue what a 9 month anniversary is! Have we determined if it's 9 months from when they met or 9 months since they got engaged?

How old are you guys? I just made fun of dd15 and her boyfriend for celebrating their 3 month anniversary. DH and I dated 6 years before getting engaged, and a little thing like him not taking me to the movies for our 9 month anniversary (not that we celebrated monthly anniversaries) wouldn't be a blip on my radar. What would be a HUGE blip was being engaged to a man who couldn't afford a $25 night out.

That stood out for me also!

Am I the only wondering what you are doing getting married to a man that can't even afford to take you to a movie?

Sorry about the disappointment honey, but this is something worth thinking about before hooking up all legal like.

I have a question for the OP. I see that you said he is living at home caring for his mother that has cancer. After you get married, will you be living with her? I'm not saying that is wrong, just curious.

 

[npmommie]

No, but it's not going to hurt anything. Is it? I think it's kinda sweet. I tracked and celebrated month anniversaries when dh and I were first together. My intent was to be silly though. I had quite a few placing bets on when we would end, so that could've played a part, too.

Sorry your plans didn't quite work out, OP. Hope your ten month anniversary is fantastic!

It is sweet and no it is not going to hurt anything.
I was only responding to the OP's statement that by celebrating monthly anniversaries that is how she knows her boyfriend truly loves her.

that should not be the test of love imo.
so if the boyfriend does not remember nor celebrate the 10th month anniversary does that mean he doesn't love her?
of course not.

 

[Donnainnj]

Had to reply about the short times people have known their spouse before getting engaged/married. Today I spent the day with my grandparents. They met on a blind date and were married 6 weeks later. They have been married 65 years. My dad and step mom met and 3 days later he asked her to marry him, they also ended up marrying about 6 weeks after meeting. They were married for 28 years when she died. Funny she always celebrated the anniversary of the day they met with a romantic dinner at home for him. I, on the other hand, dated my DH 15 months when we got engaged, and we did not get married until we were together for nearly 4 years. (the plan was for me to finish college before the wedding, although it took an extra semester and a class) We have been married for 21 years.

 

[grumpy101]

As I said in my earlier post I dont think it is juvenile for my Fiance' and I to celebrate 9 months. The only reason we are celebrating is because this is the longest relationship either of us have been in without getting our hearts broken. When we get married we will be living on our own.

 

[LuLuO]

After communicating online for a couple of months, DH and I finally had our first date on October 28th. We still celebrate that date. I knew I wanted to marry DH after the third date.

I don't think celebrating month anniversaries is juvenile. DH and I did for the first year and he was in his 30s and I was in my late 20s. We were engaged on October 28th, one year after our first date, and then we were married six months later.

 

[grumpy101]

I think everyone is missing the whole point to this. My Fiance' PROMISED me a couple of weeks ago that we were going to see Lion King in 3D. Then one of his buddies calls him to come out and go fishing. With the money he had set a side for our anniversary he spent the money on fishing stuff his friend even had to borrow some. My fiance's friend payed him back. Yes I was upset that he had broken a promise that he made to me weeks ago but with the money that his friend gave back to him my Fiance' aplogized for doing what he did and bought me some chocolate and a single Red Rose.

 

[Disneyadore]

Believe me in the long run a marriage is a "Boulevard of broken dreams".

 

[HelenePA]

I think everyone is missing the whole point to this. My Fiance' PROMISED me a couple of weeks ago that we were going to see Lion King in 3D. Then one of his buddies calls him to come out and go fishing. With the money he had set a side for our anniversary he spent the money on fishing stuff his friend even had to borrow some. My fiance's friend payed him back. Yes I was upset that he had broken a promise that he made to me weeks ago but with the money that his friend gave back to him my Fiance' aplogized for doing what he did and bought me some chocolate and a single Red Rose.

if this is the worst disappointment you have "til death do you part" consider yourself very lucky! I wish I could say the same about my dh I hope you get to see the movie soon...

 

[EMom]

I think everyone is missing the whole point to this.

My Fiance' PROMISED me a couple of weeks ago that we were going to see Lion King in 3D. Then one of his buddies calls him to come out and go fishing. With the money he had set a side for our anniversary he spent the money on fishing stuff his friend even had to borrow some. My fiance's friend payed him back. Yes I was upset that he had broken a promise that he made to me weeks ago but with the money that his friend gave back to him my Fiance' aplogized for doing what he did and bought me some chocolate and a single Red Rose.

Really, you're right. Whether we believe "month" anniversaries are silly or fantastic, is not the point. Whether you can go to the movies another night is not the point. Whether you could dig in your piggy bank and fund the evening out instead of your fiance is not the point. Whether we think the whole night out and 9 month celebration was even important is not the point.

He made a promise that he knew meant a lot to you. Then he got an invitation from a friend and accepted, knowing that would mean he would be unable to keep the previously made promise to you. The reason this is unacceptable behavior is because it shows he was just fine with disappointing you even though he knew the occasion was important to you. THAT is the point.

Yes, he has apologized and tried to atone for his screw up. That much is good. But you need to make it clear that this should not ever happen again. You do not want a lifetime of him putting you on the backburner when he gets a chance to have some fun with his buddies. Nip that in the bud. It's one thing if he didn't have the money and you had to postpone the evening out. But he spent it elsewhere. Big difference.

Nip it. Nip it. Nip it.

 

[onelilspark]

As I said in my earlier post I dont think it is juvenile for my Fiance' and I to celebrate 9 months. The only reason we are celebrating is because this is the longest relationship either of us have been in without getting our hearts broken. When we get married we will be living on our own.

As someone who is engaged, can you enlighten me as to why you would get married and live separately?

I mean, it's one thing if you're in the process of moving, but I'm totally lost as to why you would go through marriage if you're not going to live with that person?

I promise I'm not trying to be mean, I'm genuinely confused.

 

[laughinplace199]

As someone who is engaged, can you enlighten me as to why you would get married and live separately?

I mean, it's one thing if you're in the process of moving, but I'm totally lost as to why you would go through marriage if you're not going to live with that person?

I promise I'm not trying to be mean, I'm genuinely confused.

I think she means that they, as a couple, will be on their own (instead of living with parents).

 

[MichelleVW]

I think everyone is missing the whole point to this. My Fiance' PROMISED me a couple of weeks ago that we were going to see Lion King in 3D. Then one of his buddies calls him to come out and go fishing. With the money he had set a side for our anniversary he spent the money on fishing stuff his friend even had to borrow some. My fiance's friend payed him back. Yes I was upset that he had broken a promise that he made to me weeks ago but with the money that his friend gave back to him my Fiance' aplogized for doing what he did and bought me some chocolate and a single Red Rose.

Why didn't you go see the movie after the friend paid him back instead of just chocolate and a rose? Where in the world did he go fishing that it was so expensive? Have you been to the movie yet, and do you like to fish because I don't think I could be married to a man that loved to fish because honestly I hate it.

 

[onelilspark]

I think she means that they, as a couple, will be on their own (instead of living with parents).

Ohhhh, that makes more sense. Thanks.

 

[aprilgail2]

Why didn't you go see the movie after the friend paid him back instead of just chocolate and a rose? Where in the world did he go fishing that it was so expensive? Have you been to the movie yet, and do you like to fish because I don't think I could be married to a man that loved to fish because honestly I hate it.

Depends on where they go fishing---if you go out on an open fishing boat here for 4 hours it will run you about 45.00per person. so an all night fishing or all day fishing could run 90.00.

 

[mjkacmom]

Had to reply about the short times people have known their spouse before getting engaged/married. Today I spent the day with my grandparents. They met on a blind date and were married 6 weeks later. They have been married 65 years. My dad and step mom met and 3 days later he asked her to marry him, they also ended up marrying about 6 weeks after meeting. They were married for 28 years when she died. Funny she always celebrated the anniversary of the day they met with a romantic dinner at home for him. I, on the other hand, dated my DH 15 months when we got engaged, and we did not get married until we were together for nearly 4 years. (the plan was for me to finish college before the wedding, although it took an extra semester and a class) We have been married for 21 years.

People bring up the fact that they married their spouse early in the relationship, and it lasted decades, because of the fact that it's not likely to happen - these are the exceptions. People change a lot in their 20's, and I think it takes well into the relationship for people to really show their true colors. When I started dating DH, I had no plans to marry him someday. However, once we got to the one year mark, I found my love for him had increased, even though I discovered he was a slob, forgetful, and liked camping, among other unfortunate qualities. I then realized that I could see us married some day.

 

[catycatcat4]

As harsh as it sounds.
Grow up, crap happens and its just a movie.
Also don't asume he knows something is important unless you made sure he knew it was important.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Well did you ask him how he had money to spend fishing with is buddies but not take you to the movies?

But given this is a 9 month anniversary not exactly a huge life celebration.

Of course not sure what a 9 month anniversary is.

Denise in MI

I was wondering this myself. Who celebrates a 9 month anniversary? That's about like celebrating a HALF birthday 6 months into the year.

 

[Octoberbride03]

As harsh as it sounds.
Grow up, crap happens and its just a movie.

Perhaps you should have finished reading the thread before you posted that. She's over it already

 

[catycatcat4]

Perhaps you should have finished reading the thread before you posted that. She's over it already

tl;dr