Bringing family members...what would you do?

[Dean]

I posted the cautions earlier however, we do a group trip about every 2 years, sometimes more recently. We provide the accommodations, we set the time of the trip and we invite people to go. I don't allow others to set the time but I do consider the groups likely availability and sometimes ask some of them "if we go X time, would you be able to go or even be interested". If they say no or are reluctant, I may ask F/U questions to see if there's a better time. Generally we plan those trips for summer when kids and teachers are out of school.

I have a few simple rules things like.

• We set the time of the vacation.
• You don't wait on me and I don't wait on you.
• Every pays their fair share of the groceries they use.
• We have a group meal out dutch treat.
• There will be an occasional alcoholic beverage, actually very occasional but I needed that rule for my Mom and my brother the minister.
• If these are not OK, DON'T GO!!!

I get the accommodations and then invite people until we're full. If someone backs out, I invite someone else. I have one family that always gets invited, otherwise we rotate my wife's and my family. This past summer we had Nine 2 BR units at Gatlinburg for 35 people. It was wonderful and I'd encourage it if your family dynamics are favorable. But I would always set it up so that if a lot of people cancel late, you're still in good shape. With the Gatlinburg trip I used Bluegreen points which I can cancel up until 10 days out with no penalty and used mostly one years points though I do own a fair amount of BG points.

Just realize there is always someone who will push the limits. If someone breaks the rules, they are excluded from future trips. No one has gotten on that list yet for our family but my brother has come close and if he wasn't my brother, he likely would have been on that list.

 

[dzorn]

I don't have the heart to have them pay me anyway even though they are not going. DH suggested sitting down with them and telling them that if they do cancel and we cannot rent out the points, they will have to pay the maintenance on those points. I still don't know if I even have the heart to do this.



DH and I talked about this and it just might be the most peaceful way to go. We'll see. I still think that maybe explaining the cancellation policy when using points to them, and then giving them the option to commit or not might work. Again, it is still a risk that they will cancel anyway (hey, things happen too beyond our control). But that is also a risk we take ourselves when booking on points since we cannot predict the future and things can happen last-minute. Still, this will not be easy to talk about with them. Why do I have a funny feeling that it will just be DH, me, and our 2 kids in July 2010?!

When explaining don't forget to mention that you will be borrowing point for them and they cannot be returned to the orginal UY. If they are thinking they can just cancel 31 days out without any consequence to you they are more like to treat it as such. If they understand you will lose points (thus money) they may see it differently.

Good luck. We had two couples cancel on us for Feb. Luckily we were able to switch to a 1-bedroom. Still using more points than we would have since we would have used a different view category if we had just booked for just us at 11 months. DH has said never again. Too much stress for us.

Denise in MI

 

[Dean]

When explaining don't forget to mention that you will be borrowing point for them and they cannot be returned to the orginal UY. If they are thinking they can just cancel 31 days out without any consequence to you they are more like to treat it as such. If they understand you will lose points (thus money) they may see it differently.

My experience and that I've gleamed from many similar posts on this board is that no matter how much you explain people simply don't understand and/or care. I don't believe any amount of communicating the risks to non timeshare people is likely to be effective. Most people look at it as free to you regardless of what you tell them.

 

[dzorn]

My experience and that I've gleamed from many similar posts on this board is that no matter how much you explain people simply don't understand and/or care. I don't believe any amount of communicating the risks to non timeshare people is likely to be effective. Most people look at it as free to you regardless of what you tell them.

For my family at least this is not true. They offered to pay for any loss we had. Even though we would not have accepted the fact that the offer was made is important. We are only out a few points but have a nicer view category than I would have chosen just for us.

Denise in MI

 

[fishermouse]

What would you do if you were me? Book it and risk it, then rent out the points if they decide not to go? Don't book it and explain it to my sister and parents that I might not be able to get them 5 nights since the lower point rooms go quickly and I will have to book wherever I can get it the longer they wait to book? And how do I break all of this to them gently without any arguments?

Sorry this is so long! We're a very close family and this trip would be so nice together, especially for my nieces and my children but it seems so complicated.

JMO, since they had originally planed to stay in a value resort, why not let them make thier own reservations and just meet up for the times you want to stay together. If you book a room and they fail to come it will just cause tension down the road. The transportation is such that you should have no trouble getting together especially at BW. The other option is wait until they are ready to commit and try to get a room if nothing is available, well you did all you can, they should not expect you to book at 11 months without a firm commitment on thier part. For some reason people have a hard time looking at points as money but basically that's what they are. Would you buy someone airline or park tickets if they were not sure they were going, to me it's the same thing.

 

[eliza61]

Disney makes family vacations look so wonderful. Everyone has this picture in their heads of a "magical" vacation with siblings,grandparents, cousins etc etc. Unfortunately that pesky real life often gets in the way.

Take an honest look at your family,
I have 1 sister who can't commit to a trip to the local walmart She has burned me before so whenever I invite her I lay down strict guidelines. My mother in law by contrast is a gem. rarely complains, go with the flow type of women and is usually just slap at to be at Disney with her grandkids.
One thing is definite, you've got some time before you're 11 month window so don't stress about it until then. Oh you may want to consider moving your sisters cancellation date from 31 days up to maybe 41 days if she's the non commital type.

 

[Mickey'sApprentice]

IMHO you are setting yourself up for failure.

The idea of a wonderful Disney vacation is in your mind not theirs, and they will never appreciate the Magic like you do.

i thought i was close with DH's family too, but being at WDW with varying families (some with kids, some without) and different likes/dislikes, was really tough. DMIL really pushed a lot of buttons and really got in my nerves. and to think i was the one who concocted this whole vacation thing with my in laws and proposed it to DH! what in the world was i thinking! i told him if he ever heard me planning on sharing our points again with his family, that he had my permission to pull my hair, grab my head and bang it against the wall so i'd wake up.

After planning a trip with both of my sisters, I suggest that you RUN! not walk away from this plan. I so relate to what Disneynutz said about this trip being your dream and not your family's. My family was so not into Disney, but the kids were in elementary school, and we were providing the room, etc. They never wanted to plan anything, never got excited, or anything. All of the fun planning stuff was like pulling teeth. Trying to plan ADRs made me come off as an OCD foodaholic. I went in the hospital 3 weeks before the trip with a resting heart rate of 150, that stayed that way for 3 days. [I'm not saying it was related, but...maybe.] The only reason I kept any of my sanity was the fact that I booked the trip early in my use year.

The one sister that kind of went along in the planning was a complete pain once we got down there. She and her hubby complained about everything, and even threatened divorce while down there. I love my sisters and thought it would be just like vacationing when we were kids! OMG! I was out of my mind.

OK, so here is the good part. The sister that saw no need for planning - actually kind of enjoyed the trip. They booked another trip on their own for the next year. They made the ADRs, planned the trip out and did a lot of planning stuff that they were supposed to do, and already knew about fastpasses, getting around, etc. They came back from the 2nd trip grinning from ear to ear. They had a wonderful trip and thanked me profusely for showing them the ropes.

 

[Starr W.]

Family trips or multi family trips to WDW seem to bring out the best in people.

A few years ago, 2 kids in my son's class took a trip to WDW for Spring Break(2 families). I helped the teacher in the computer lab, so on the first day back the teacher is telling me she got emails that the kids are not supposed to be "friends" anymore and were not to sit at the same pod. Both families got into some big drag out fight during the trip.

I would have to think long and hard about trying to take my sister again(long story). She is such a stress for me that I really don't like to go anywhere with her.

 

[WaltEeyoreWorld]

I agree with the earlier post on being prepared to lose the points. We just returned from a week at OKW 2BR with just DW and I because friends backed out with short notice from what was suppose to be a golf trip to the world.

It happens. The best advice is enjoy the extra space if you can not reuse the points and relax.

BTW, we are also planning a large family trip in 2010 with 5 units and out thinking is that if we end up with extra, we either invite others or we cancel and add on the days for ourselves at what ever is available at that time.

 

[WaltEeyoreWorld]

This biggest problem with Time Shares is you have to share the time with others. I hate planning ahead but that is the name of the game. Otherwise they would be called Go Anytime Shares.

 

[dudelydude]

I have 1 sister who can't commit to a trip to the local walmart She has burned me before so whenever I invite her I lay down strict guidelines.

This is the situation that I would be in...a sister who cannot commit. Like you, I have a very close family who likes to vacation together. If your sister says, "She doesn't know where her life will be in 2010," than she doesn't deserve your generosity and thoughtfulness. What I mean is that we all have priorities in life and some priorities trump the others. I have something going on every single weekend of my life, but if a family birthday gathering comes up, I drop everything. There are certainly more important things in life than Disney, but how many times have you said to someone, "I can't do that, because we will be on vacation that week." Not too many things trump the vacation (especially at the World). She should commit, make it her priority and work everything else around this vacation.

 

[Goofy's apprentice]

I think there is a lot of good advice here. We have invited friends for a number of years and the vacations go great, but it is the specific people that meld well.

We are planning a family trip next March which will include both my sisters and their families. The rooms are booked, but I have given them until Christmas to back out. I indicated that they can cancel but I can't guarantee any additions as availability is scarce.

Some of my coping mechanisms....
- we are not all in the same unit the whole time, some separation is good
- i have strongly indicated that we don't have to spend the whole vacation together. I will plan what my family is doing and they can participate or not, no biggie. If they want to use our experience to tour the parks, fine but they can also go on their own. I won't be offended.
- i intend on using my two kids to help. They are teenagers and can take their two young cousins to the parks as well.
- sister and her two young ones are not great candidates for eating out, so the consensus is that they have a unit and can cook if they like. The rest will either spend time with them and help or go out if they like.
- I will book one character breakfast, not at a park, for everyone.
- I am always available to be taken out for a drink if the group is driving everyone crazy, including me.
- I have told my kids to plan a few things that are 'do or die' for them and I will ensure that they have the time to do them.

We have travelled together before and the everyone on their own schedule works for us. My family is also used to travelling with a larger group of friends.

Remember, as DVC members you will be back. This trip does not need to provide the ultimate Disney memory for your family. It can, but if not, there is always next year. We'll treat it as a chance to spend some extra time with our extended family in a place we love. We'll try to provide ideas for them to have a good time but won't feel entirely responsible for that.

Now......see if I feel so confident as we get closer.....and see how I feel after. It may be a disaster, but I want to ensure that family relationships are not scarred as a result.

 

[crisi]

We just did this - just got back.

Its my family (four of us) my parents. I have two sisters - one married with two children and one single.

We originally planned to go about three years ago, but the baby sister got a different job before I could book it, and so we moved the trip six months so it would be when she could get vacation.

Then, before I could book the now delayed trip, my other sister got pregnant, we threw it on hold, she had a baby, then got breast cancer, spent a year on chemo, and we booked for this year.

The baby sister didn't go, she has been having her own issues over the past few years.

We booked two two bedrooms - that allowed my little sister to come and stay in our room if she decided she needed to come last minute.

Unless this is a huge rush, I'd wait until you get your first trip under your belt - or only invite people who you can comfortably cover for (we can invite another family of four and put them in the second bedroom while my kids sleep on the pullout in the living room - if they flake out, we have the luxury of both bedrooms. If they don't, my kids are used to the pull out - they'd rather have their own bedroom, but if we have invited people they like, its a sacrifice they make willingly).

If your sister cannot commit eleven months out, I'd wait to make reservations until she can commit - it might mean losing out on the standard view room - but you could probably switch the whole reservation to OKW when you can get a better committment from people if you don't have the preferred view points. Or let her know that you will try and get a reservation for her when she does commit, but it may not end up at the same resort as the rest of the family.....

One good idea I've heard is you make the reservations when they have airfare (or if you need to make the reservations before airfare is released, you cancel reservations on date X if they don't have airfare). Airfaire is a committment on their end to take the trip.

Also, you always need to be aware of guests financial situations. ESPECIALLY when you have guests who insist on paying you a fair amount (guests willing to accept gifts you can choose to cover). Even if you completely cover the room, Disney is an expensive trip.

 

[JasonDVC]

Personally, I would not make a reservation for your sister until she is sure she can go. If you can get her a room at that point, great. If not, that's just how things go.

This is the best advice so far.

The way me and my wife handle it is that we are going if you want to join us, GREAT, we'll try to hook you up. If you can't commit, then you are on your own. If you commit later, I'll see what I can do. We are going regardless and will have a good time either way.

We enjoy having others with us but we have to worry about ourselves first and I think you should too before you get burned

 

[bangzoom6877]

Great advice from everyone! I have some ideas and I think they are pretty good. I think it is all about how I approach my family in the beginning so that they don't feel misinformed, and so that I don't misunderstand them either. Here are my ideas:

1. Sit down with them in June and show them the DVC trip planner, specifically the part about the borrowed points NOT being able to go back to their original UY.
2. Show them on paper, visually, how our points work for our specific contract (UY, number of points, etc.), and also the points chart for BWV.
3. Explain to them that if we do not book 11 months out, it may mean a shorter stay for them on our points (and maybe making it a split stay with another resort) or staying at a different resort (OKW studio and also AKV Value Studio are the same points per weeknight as BWV standard studio). We are NOT willing to stay at another resort other than BWV so we are not changing OUR reservation for a different resort. That will be told to them as well.
4. Let them know that there are of course no hard feelings if they feel they do not want to commit to this. We will not feel insulted if they decide to book last minute and we cannot get them a room on our points so they go ahead and book a value resort.
5. Also mention that for other things, like theme park touring (I am very specific in my touring plans and they work well for us), dining ADRs, etc., they should not feel pressured to stay with us at all times. It is okay with us if they separate, or if they even want to do something totally different on a specific day than we do. For example, I know my sister will want to go to Sea World with her girls, but we are waiting until our kids are 5 and 7 to go (mine are 1 and 3 now and will be 3 and 5 on our trip) since we will be going to that area so many times in the future anyway.
6. Also mention to my parents specifically that if they want to do what my sister and the girls are doing on a day that is different than us (or a meal at a different restaurant, like the castle because my nieces love that but my sons are not interested in it), we are fine with that too.

We have taken cruises together before, but never a theme park vacation altogether and I know they are vastly different, especially throwing in the DVC factor. Plus on cruises, pretty much everyone does their own thing during the day and we normally meet up in the dining room for dinner each evening. Sometimes we do things together if the same things interest us, and we tend to go to the ports together most of the time. Also to the evening shows usually. But during the day, we mainly do different things and catch up later on. I know that theme park trips are so different, but we really could still all do our own thing at times and I know that DH and I would be fine with it.

The other thing I keep in mind is that in case things were to get very hectic with everyone being on the trip together, they have all stressed to me already that they do not want to spend more than 5 nights at Disney. My sister said that is a good amount of time to definitely at least get to Epcot, MK and Sea World, and possibly something else like Universal or DHS. One great thing about her is that she will be right there with me at those parks very early and will probably trust my touring plan anyway and go with it. My parents really don't care about the touring plan and are fine with it if I plan it. However, there would maybe be some attractions they won't want to do that we will do, and vice versa, and we can separate then. The meals would be the main thing. My nieces love the princesses, and I have 2 boys. While they seemed to have enjoyed 1900 Park Fare back in July, I can't see dining in the castle being worth 2 TS credits for us and 2 boys! (We would be on the dining plan). But my sister and nieces are mesmerized by the castle and the restaurant!

Anyway, I am just rambling on now. Thanks everyone for the great advice. I have a feeling this will end up just being DH, me and the boys in the longrun. We'll see...I think it will depend on availability booking closer to the trip because I can't see them committing to this 11 months out unless they surprise me completely. I think they will not want to risk it and I know they would all feel bad if we lost the points.

 

[dcfromva]

bangzoom6877,
If you are going to go ahead with this, here is the way I recommend you make your reservations:

1. book the rooms for your family (which you will not be using) first.
2. bank your points after you have booked the rooms for the family.
3. make your reservation third utilizing the banked and borrowed points.

Set a date that you will cancel the family reservations (within your banking window time frame) if you do not have a firm commitment from them.

If your family cancels within the banking window time frame, you will be able to bank those points into the next UY and use them for your next vacation.

My experience has been it is very difficult to explain all the nuances of the program to non-members. There are just too many details to remember no matter have well you have explained it. ( To be fair, I would wager there are even members who don't totally understand how the system works. ) We have some friends who own a different timeshare to which we were thinking of buying. They have explained some of their rules to us and I can't say that I have totally figured out how their program works.

 

[bangzoom6877]

bangzoom6877,
If you are going to go ahead with this, here is the way I recommend you make your reservations:

1. book the rooms for your family (which you will not be using) first.
2. bank your points after you have booked the rooms for the family.
3. make your reservation third utilizing the banked and borrowed points.

Set a date that you will cancel the family reservations (within your banking window time frame) if you do not have a firm commitment from them.

If your family cancels within the banking window time frame, you will be able to bank those points into the next UY and use them for your next vacation.

My experience has been it is very difficult to explain all the nuances of the program to non-members. There are just too many details to remember no matter have well you have explained it. ( To be fair, I would wager there are even members who don't totally understand how the system works. ) We have some friends who own a different timeshare to which we were thinking of buying. They have explained some of their rules to us and I can't say that I have totally figured out how their program works.

I think your idea is terrific, except for one thing. We are not going to Disney the following year. We are going every other year. We bought a 150-point contract at BWV because it fits perfectly into our travel plans for Disney. We had planned on going for 10 nights every other year throughout our children's childhoods (they are 3 and 1 right now). At 294 points for a one-bedroom at BWV in the summer (our regular travel time for big trips), 150 points was perfect so that is what we decided was right for us. We do not want to go every year. The idea is to do something else in the non-Disney years. Right now the plans are Hersheypark and Lancaster, PA for summer 2009, Disney for summer 2010, a cruise for summer 2011, and Disney again for summer 2012.

If we bank the 2010 points that are not used for the reservation due to cancellation, those points will go into the 2011 UY and must be used by the end of that UY. We have an April UY, so that would mean that the banked points would have to be used no later than March 31, 2012, but that would be close to 4 months before we would go to Disney that year. So this would not work, as we would still lose those points. As I stated in an above post, the only option at that point would be to try and rent out the points before they expire. But I don't think I am willing to take that risk. Not totally sure about it though, something we will have to think about. We did tons of research on renting and are currently trying to rent out some points that we will not use (there were some 2008 points left in the resale we just bought, but we will not be able to use them so we are trying to rent them). If this works out and we find the rental process to be not too difficult or stressful, we would consider just giving the family up until a certain date to let us know for sure (like maybe 6 months before the trip), and then it would give us plenty of time to rent them out if necessary. At least that way, we would get some cash to put towards dining or park tickets for the trip.

We shall see how this all works out. The one person who has been asking me a lot about how our DVC membership works is my father. He seems interested to know how it works for us. So I am sure there will be no problem explaining certain things to them when the time comes. And hey, we will be going no matter what in 2010. If they want to join us, great. If not, that is fine too, no hard feelings of course.

 

[daisyduck123]

What would you do if you were me? .

Honestly, I would just let them be responsible for their own reservations. It doesn't sound like your sister is that excited about it & it seems that most "non DVC" just don't get it about our booking windows, points, etc.

 

[La2kw]

Leave all the relatives at home, and go enjoy your first trip with your husband. Taking family can be more of a hassle than what it's worth. If they truly want to come along, let them make their own arrangements.

 

[SuzanneSLO]

...We bought a 150-point contract at BWV because it fits perfectly into our travel plans for Disney. We had planned on going for 10 nights every other year throughout our children's childhoods (they are 3 and 1 right now). At 294 points for a one-bedroom at BWV in the summer (our regular travel time for big trips), 150 points was perfect so that is what we decided was right for us. ...

If we bank the 2010 points that are not used for the reservation due to cancellation, those points will go into the 2011 UY and must be used by the end of that UY. We have an April UY ...

It looks like you have some Apr 08 points, which you cannot use for your 2010 trip, so you are trying to rent them

For your 2010 trip, you wil be using April 09 points (banked) and Apr 10 points (current) just for a 1 BR for your family. You would then borrow almost all the points needed from Apr 11 points for your family reservations.

I would suggest booking your immediate family's room as soon as you can. Don't book for your extended family until they commit and pay for the room. It is very likely you will be able to get PV studios for summertime after the 7 month window. For Sun-Th, this will cost you 15 points more than for SV, a total of 70 points. So 2 PV rooms will still be less than the 150 points you have available for Apr 11 UY.

In the alternative, book a SV 2 BR for 376 points (borrowing 76 points from Apr 11). Invite your parents to stay for 5 nights in the connected studio and you sister to stay the other 5 nigths. If either cancels, your family can enjoy all the space in the 2 BR. For the next trip in 2012, you will bank the remaining 74 points, use 150 current points and borrow 70 from Apr 13.

Best of luck -- Suzanne