Bridal registry

[Laura]

We had a registry because we NEEDED stuff. We'd both been living with other people, and we didn't have things like measuring spoons and pots and glasses and a vacuum cleaner. So we registered for them. No Waterford crystal, fancy china or anything like that.

My Maid of Honor, though, didn't seem to understand that we needed this stuff and for my shower gift, paid out $250 or so for me to get a makeover with a local makeup artist and a full set of makeup. I had TONS of makeup already, I needed towels! She didn't seem to understand that! Oh well. It was fun.

 

[CheshireVal]

I would never complain about gifts I received, but I do think registries are helpful and should be used whenever possible. I agree that some people do register for completely outrageous items, but a lot of people use the registries for things they really need and that are fairly reasonably priced.

I didn't register for anything over $100 when I got married (actually I think the most expensive item was an $80 tent, which we didn't get ), and most of the stuff on my registry was actually $30 or less, with the exception of a few kitchen appliances.

I did get quite a few things I didn't register for, but I will also admit that I have about 4 frames sitting in storage because I got so many I ran out of room (and pictures).

 

[mjkacmom]

Seems a little excessive to have a baby show for 5 kids. Maybe that should be eliminated.

I didn't have a shower for all of them! I had a shower for #1 at my parent's home, about 20 women, and my gf's actually hosted a small shower for me 6 years later, when I was pregnant with twins (#4 and #5) - about 15 women at my gf's home (and I was VERY surprised, since it's uncommon to have more than 1 shower).

 

[C.Ann]

Hasn't happened yet, but if I ever come across a bridal registry where they haven't registered for a $200 kitchen waste basket - or a $300 frying pan - I "might" consider buying off the registry.. And just to be clear, brides that register for such expensive items do NOT take kindly to guests "going in" on one gift either.. That's every bit as annoying to them as not using the registry at all..

 

[Soccer Princess]

I just got married this past July and I will say that is was dissapointing when we got 3 countertop skillets/griddles when NONE were on our registry. It has gotten a lot harder to return things to stores without receipts lately, so keep that in mind too. We didn't register for any crystal or china, but got 2 crystal vases? Umm, we already have plenty of vases and have no other crystal.

We did get a few thoughtful gifts that weren't on the registry and really appreciate them. I think it's more that this person obviously didn't even think about the couple and just grabbed (or re-gifted) something. If you are not going to put any thoguht into it, just get a gift card, so they can use it with their completion discount!

It's totally the thought that counts, but you better believe I whined to my bridesmaids and DH about it. I would never have said something to a guest though!

 

[bananiem]

It must be a regional thing because around here it's common to see a $2 set fo measuring cups on the registry along with a vacuum cleaner that might be $200. I've never been invited to a wedding where I couldn't find something in my price range. I must hang out with a lot of cheap people!!!

 

[C.Ann]

It must be a regional thing because around here it's common to see a $2 set fo measuring cups on the registry along with a vacuum cleaner that might be $200. I've never been invited to a wedding where I couldn't find something in my price range. I must hang out with a lot of cheap people!!!

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The last time I was looking for something reasonable in a store where the bride in question had registered, I actually heard a bride say to her future DH, "Don't pick that one! Put the more expensive one down.. Why get a cheaper model when someone else is paying for it??"

Can you say, "Bridezilla"???

 

[lulu71]

Hasn't happened yet, but if I ever come across a bridal registry where they haven't registered for a $200 kitchen waste basket - or a $300 frying pan - I "might" consider buying off the registry.. And just to be clear, brides that register for such expensive items do NOT take kindly to guests "going in" on one gift either.. That's every bit as annoying to them as not using the registry at all..

I don't understand the correlation between brides registering for expensive items and being ungrateful for gifts. There are surely some close family members of the couple that spend a lot of money on a gift. Should there not be options on the registry for them?

 

[Crankyshank]

For the most part, the registry requests I have seen are pretty reasonable and cover a variety of price groups.

Well except for my cousin's $900 knife set and $1400 espresso maker on her registry.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't understand the correlation between brides registering for expensive items and being ungrateful for gifts. There are surely some close family members of the couple that spend a lot of money on a gift. Should there not be options on the registry for them?

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Options, yes - everything outrageously priced? No.. If they can't find some "middle-of-the-road" items to list, then they should expect to receive items that are not on the registry and not whine about it to others..

 

[Mrs.Toad]

It must be a regional thing because around here it's common to see a $2 set fo measuring cups on the registry along with a vacuum cleaner that might be $200. I've never been invited to a wedding where I couldn't find something in my price range. I must hang out with a lot of cheap people!!!

This is how it is in my circles as well. No one expects the average guest to purchase the really pricey items. Those are meant for groups or close relatives.

 

[lulu71]

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Options, yes - everything outrageously priced? No.. If they can't find some "middle-of-the-road" items to list, then they should expect to receive items that are not on the registry and not whine about it to others..

Gotcha. After I hit submit, I wondered if you meant registries with ONLY expensive stuff as opposed to SOME expensive stuff. I agree with you.

 

[C.Ann]

Gotcha. After I hit submit, I wondered if you meant registries with ONLY expensive stuff as opposed to SOME expensive stuff. I agree with you.

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Exactly.. Obviously close family members will choose to spend quite a bit more, but mere acquaintances (you know - like your DH works with so and so; or distant relatives you didn't even know you had) shouldn't have to fork over the equivalent of a car payment for a wedding and/or shower gift..

 

[mickeyfan2]

I just got married this past July and I will say that is was dissapointing when we got 3 countertop skillets/griddles when NONE were on our registry. It has gotten a lot harder to return things to stores without receipts lately, so keep that in mind too. We didn't register for any crystal or china, but got 2 crystal vases? Umm, we already have plenty of vases and have no other crystal.

We did get a few thoughtful gifts that weren't on the registry and really appreciate them. I think it's more that this person obviously didn't even think about the couple and just grabbed (or re-gifted) something. If you are not going to put any thoguht into it, just get a gift card, so they can use it with their completion discount!

It's totally the thought that counts, but you better believe I whined to my bridesmaids and DH about it. I would never have said something to a guest though!

How do you know that the whining did not get back to the guest? People do talk.

 

[Chicago526]

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Options, yes - everything outrageously priced? No.. If they can't find some "middle-of-the-road" items to list, then they should expect to receive items that are not on the registry and not whine about it to others..

Keep in mind, that some registeries only print items that haven't been bought yet. If people who shop early buy up all the "cheap" stuff, all you'll see are the $200 waste cans.

But you're right, there ARE couples out there who will settle for nothing but the best...when others are paying, that is!

 

[PrincessKitty1]

However, the strange thing (to me) is how many brides return items that are on their registry that weren't duplicates. It's as if they didn't really want to put on the registry what they wanted.


Suzanne

A friend of mine alluded to doing this and said they did it in order to get cash without actually asking for cash.

Re: registries, I usually buy from the registry but....when my sister was married for the 3rd time, everything she and her fiance registered for was EXPENSIVE. I bought her gift pretty much at the last minute and I could see that, despite having over 100 people at her wedding, very few of the registry items had been purchased. I did end up buying one of the least expensive items on the registry--a down bed pillow--and as the cashier rang it up she gasped and said, "What, is this made of GOLD?" One of my sisters could not afford anything on the registry and ended up buying off registry.

 

[DaisyD]

We did get a few thoughtful gifts that weren't on the registry and really appreciate them. I think it's more that this person obviously didn't even think about the couple and just grabbed (or re-gifted) something. If you are not going to put any thoguht into it, just get a gift card, so they can use it with their completion discount!

It's totally the thought that counts, but you better believe I whined to my bridesmaids and DH about it. I would never have said something to a guest though!

Well, how would you feel if they didn't give you anything? Honestly, I can't believe you are complaining about someone not putting thought into a gift and then you add to just give you a giftcard. So are you really expecting gifts? I wouldn't care if no one gave us a gift. Our wedding was a celebration that I wanted to share with others. The last thing on our minds was what we thought we were going to receive or what we got. Geez, we requested no gifts in the first place because it wasn't a gift grab but a wedding. I wonder what your bridemaids thought of your complaining? Sounds like those frankenbrides I see on TV. Be happy you had guests willing to share the moment. Those memories last a lot longer then something off a registry. Rant over. Sorry.

 

[Lizzy2]

When we got married oh so many moons ago, I put on our registery specifically that it didn't matter what brand anything was as long as the colors were the same. So you could buy the $2 blue towel or the $25 blue towel and as long as they were blue we were happy. I also picked things that were a couple of bucks and things that were a couple of hundred bucks knowing that we had people with various financial capabilities attending. We still got stuff that was not on our registery. Since we didn't have a darn thing we were thrilled!!!

 

[Soccer Princess]

How do you know that the whining did not get back to the guest? People do talk.

Well I know my DH wasn't going to tell anyone and I highly doubt my bridesmaids were going to go tell my IL's friends that I didn't like their present. That's how. I never would say anything to anyone if I thought it would get back to the person and hurt their feelings.

 

[Soccer Princess]

Well, how would you feel if they didn't give you anything? Honestly, I can't believe you are complaining about someone not putting thought into a gift and then you add to just give you a giftcard. So are you really expecting gifts? I wouldn't care if no one gave us a gift. Our wedding was a celebration that I wanted to share with others. The last thing on our minds was what we thought we were going to receive or what we got. Geez, we requested no gifts in the first place because it wasn't a gift grab but a wedding. I wonder what your bridemaids thought of your complaining? Sounds like those frankenbrides I see on TV. Be happy you had guests willing to share the moment. Those memories last a lot longer then something off a registry. Rant over. Sorry.

Whoa! Someone needs to get off their high horse. We had guests who didn't get us anything and I didn't care one bit. I was just happy they were there. I'm just saying if someone wants to go spend $100 or whatever, they might as well not throw their money away on something that's going to sit in a closet and instead, purchase something useful to the bride and groom.

I've heard some of those same bridesmaids give the same complaint when they were in my position, so I'm sure they had no problem with it. Thanks for wondering though.

Maybe you should learn to use correct grammar instead of pretending to be the etiquette police.