Bridal registry

[DaisyD]

Nevermind.

 

[Soccer Princess]

Deleted

 

[nicurn]

The only one on their high horse is the one complaining they didn't get gift cards. A wedding isn't about gifts. My grammar aside, etiquette looks down upon whining over gifts.

I don't think for a second that soccer princess was complaining that she didn't get gift cards. My interpretation on her comments was that the gift registry is there for a reason, people do not need 3 table top grills for example. If there is nothing on the registry that you feel like getting, fine but why get something that is off the wall? I agree with her, if you don't want to put a little bit of effort into the gift, get a gift card, that way it isn't something that has to be returned, the bride/groom can get something that they need and everyone is happy. I wouldn't complain to the guests but um yeah my husband would hear about it as would my best friends.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, how would you feel if they didn't give you anything? Honestly, I can't believe you are complaining about someone not putting thought into a gift and then you add to just give you a giftcard. So are you really expecting gifts? I wouldn't care if no one gave us a gift. Our wedding was a celebration that I wanted to share with others. The last thing on our minds was what we thought we were going to receive or what we got. Geez, we requested no gifts in the first place because it wasn't a gift grab but a wedding. I wonder what your bridemaids thought of your complaining? Sounds like those frankenbrides I see on TV. Be happy you had guests willing to share the moment. Those memories last a lot longer then something off a registry. Rant over. Sorry.

I didn't get gifts from 3 people, and I was mad. However, 2 were DH's groomsmen, and close friends. We had limited space, and since we both had a lot of single friends who weren't dating anyone, we didn't invite them with dates. Both of them not only asked if they could please bring dates, but asked if they could bring their new roommate (the 3rd non-gift giver) (DH was the original roommate). We agreed, even though each guest cost us about $100. The gift DH gave them for being his groomsmen cost about $50. So yes, I think a gift would've been nice.

 

[skuttle]

For our wedding, we made sure we had a nice range of prices on our registry. I didn't mind people buying me things off of the registry. Of course, it seemed like the people we didn't really know well, ie friends of my mom and dad, are the ones that didn't buy us something off of the registry. What got me was that we would get things from the stores we registered at, but the gifts weren't on the registry! If you go to the store, at least get something off of the registry!

 

[SandraVB79]

Well, how would you feel if they didn't give you anything? Honestly, I can't believe you are complaining about someone not putting thought into a gift and then you add to just give you a giftcard. So are you really expecting gifts? I wouldn't care if no one gave us a gift. Our wedding was a celebration that I wanted to share with others. The last thing on our minds was what we thought we were going to receive or what we got. Geez, we requested no gifts in the first place because it wasn't a gift grab but a wedding. I wonder what your bridemaids thought of your complaining? Sounds like those frankenbrides I see on TV. Be happy you had guests willing to share the moment. Those memories last a lot longer then something off a registry. Rant over. Sorry.

Yes, I expect to get gifts when i'll ever get married. It's part of the whole deal. Oh yeah, of course, it's nice to have people that share your celebration, but please...
How many people do not complain on these boards about weddings they were invited to, and they didn't get the amount or quality or kinds of food they expected? Shouldn't they just be happy to be invited by the couple to be part of their happiest day?

The gifts, the reception, the dress, ... it's all part of it. And that's why people expect those things, as well the guests as the B/G. Otherwise, you could just get married in your everyday clothes, invite people to have a glass of tap water and all be happy because you shared a special moment.



Yes, I did put this in a rude way. But basically, that's how it is.
Now, flame on!

 

[mla973]

I'm just saying if someone wants to go spend $100 or whatever, they might as well not throw their money away on something that's going to sit in a closet and instead, purchase something useful to the bride and groom.

I totally agree. If you're going to purchase a gift, why not buy something that you know the bride/groom will want and use. Store policies are changing, so it is getting more difficult to return items without a receipt (and not everyone provides a gift receipt with their gift).

I typically go off of the registry, since that is what I wanted when I got married. In our area, registry cards are always included in shower invites (whether they are wedding showers, baby showers, etc.).

Just like SoccerPrincess said, if you're going to spend the money anyway, why not buy something you know the couple will want. They spent the time and effort thinking about it so the guest doesn't have to.

 

[mla973]

The gifts, the reception, the dress, ... it's all part of it. And that's why people expect those things, as well the guests as the B/G. Otherwise, you could just get married in your everyday clothes, invite people to have a glass of tap water and all be happy because you shared a special moment.

Very well put!

 

[Laura]

Yes, I expect to get gifts when i'll ever get married. It's part of the whole deal.

Yes, it really is. Wedding gifts are a tradition, and thus people getting married do expect to receive them. There is a difference, of course, in expecting wedding guests to give you gifts vs. expecting everyone to buy stuff like $300 towels and $1000 sheet sets. Which I'm sure we all know is the difference between a normal bride and Bridezilla.

Lots of people asked my father where we were registered. It's a common question for engaged couples planning a wedding. Registries are great for the gift-givers, especially when they're online. Shop in your pajamas, find something in your price range, a few clicks and it's sent to the couple. You know they want it, you don't have to shlep it to the reception, you don't have to wrap it, etc. Easy peasy. If guests want to give something else, they can.

 

[Mike.Wazowski]

I think things change

way back when - people went from living with their parents to getting married and living together and needed everything.
In this day and age it is much more likely that the bride and groom are meshing to established households worth of "stuff".
At least pay attention and if you notice that the brides $200 towels are in cream - go buy the $20 ones in cream so they will at least match for heavens sake!

 

[MrsPete]

Guests are free to purchase any wedding gifts they please. Brides may or may not care for the gifts, but it's very rude of them to let the giver know that she's not happy.

I might buy from the registry if it's for a couple I don't know well -- maybe for someone who works with my husband.

However, if it's a close friend, I don't care to use the registry. Why? Because the gift just "blends in" and is forgotten. I can look at my wedding china -- which I really like -- but I don't remember who gave me china. On the other hand, I look at the silver platter that my grandmother gave me, and I think of her.

If I were going to buy "on my own" though, not from the registry, I'd try to take the bride's preferences into mind. For example, a look at the registry might show that she's planning to do her kitchen in cobalt blue -- I'd buy her something unique in her color scheme. I wouldn't choose a toaster or something else that's not needed in multiples. But anyone can always use a unique serving platter or a nice lidded casserole dish, and those things don't have to match other items. It's not too hard to buy something unique that also fits the bride's tastes.

 

[Mike.Wazowski]

OK - so that said -

I walked away fromt he computer and remembered that we went to a weddign this summer - My DH was IN IT -
and we didn't go on the registry for the wedding gift (did for the shower though)
But it was OBVIOUS the bride picked EVERYTHING on the registry - and we know the groom ... dh grew up with him...
and we bought him a new chain saw
should have seen the look on the mother of the brides face - WHAT IS THAT of course I might add that they were clearing a lot to build a house and the groom kept coming over our house to fix his old one, shapren it, etc...

 

[MrsPete]

When we got married oh so many moons ago, I put on our registery specifically that it didn't matter what brand anything was as long as the colors were the same. So you could buy the $2 blue towel or the $25 blue towel and as long as they were blue we were happy. I also picked things that were a couple of bucks and things that were a couple of hundred bucks knowing that we had people with various financial capabilities attending. We still got stuff that was not on our registery. Since we didn't have a darn thing we were thrilled!!!

That's what we did too. We registered for wedding china, and we made a little xeroxed sheet to give to people who asked:

___ and ___ registered for china at ____ store
Master bedroom colors: Dark blue & ivory, queen sized bed
Master bath colors: Blue
Second bedroom: Pink and ivory, full sized bed
Hall bath colors: Dark green and rose
Kitchen: Williamsburg blue

It worked great, and several people commented that they found it easy to choose nice things that they knew we'd like -- and it left everyone wide open to spend what they could. My husband's aunt, who gave me a very nice shower, suggested this method. Since we lived four hours away, she knew that many of their family members would want to give us something nice, but they wouldn't have met me and wouldn't have any idea of my tastes.

 

[C.Ann]

That's what we did too. We registered for wedding china, and we made a little xeroxed sheet to give to people who asked:

___ and ___ registered for china at ____ store
Master bedroom colors: Dark blue & ivory, queen sized bed
Master bath colors: Blue
Second bedroom: Pink and ivory, full sized bed
Hall bath colors: Dark green and rose
Kitchen: Williamsburg blue

It worked great, and several people commented that they found it easy to choose nice things that they knew we'd like -- and it left everyone wide open to spend what they could. My husband's aunt, who gave me a very nice shower, suggested this method. Since we lived four hours away, she knew that many of their family members would want to give us something nice, but they wouldn't have met me and wouldn't have any idea of my tastes.

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Excellent idea!!