Boorish behavior

[Dug720]

I agree completely....but some of us also feel we paid a lot and we don't always get what we expect...does that excuse or even give reason for such behaviour?

I don't think so...I still think that circumstances may affect the behaviour, but the person behaves the way he/she does because they are that kind of person...a jerk.

Exactly. We have ALL paid a lot, and no one has a "perfect" trip because there is no such thing. But not everyone turns into a raging maniac when something doesn't go their way.

 

[tinkerone]

Exactly. We have ALL paid a lot, and no one has a "perfect" trip because there is no such thing. But not everyone turns into a raging maniac when something doesn't go their way.

Oddly enough, I have a perfect trip almost every time. I'm sure lots of people do. There is such a thing.

There's actually very little that could happen that I wouldn't just shrug my shoulders and move on. I read trip reports from people who whine about this or that and all I can think is 'why would you care?'. What have I paid to much money for?? I paid to much money to sweat the small stuff. I'm just happy to be there.
You get out of your experience what you expect. So, expect everything and anything.

 

[dvcdisney]

Exactly. We have ALL paid a lot, and no one has a "perfect" trip because there is no such thing. But not everyone turns into a raging maniac when something doesn't go their way.

And that's why I don't really accept any excuses...but in most cases, I would accept apologies. And I have seen many people apologize for things they've done because they KNOW they did something wrong. And they are aware that they should not have behaved poorly because of their own circumstances. It's the ones who blame everyone but themselves that NEVER apologize nor feel bad about what they did.

It is always possible that someone received awful news or didn't get the raise they wanted or their family isn't speaking to them or booked a verandah that wasn't big enough or didn't get enough dessert that day...It doesn't matter...they were still horrible to other people. They have the choice to rectify the situation (an apology goes a long way) or choose to be rude. This determines the kind of person they are.

Whenever my family sees such bad behaviour we always think that their life must be so horrible that they can't do the proper thing.

Don't get me wrong...I see more good behaviour than bad. I just don't believe in accepting reasons for people to behave so poorly.

 

[ACQUADUCK]

And that's why I don't really accept any excuses...but in most cases, I would accept apologies. And I have seen many people apologize for things they've done because they KNOW they did something wrong. And they are aware that they should not have behaved poorly because of their own circumstances. It's the ones who blame everyone but themselves that NEVER apologize nor feel bad about what they did.

It is always possible that someone received awful news or didn't get the raise they wanted or their family isn't speaking to them or booked a verandah that wasn't big enough or didn't get enough dessert that day...It doesn't matter...they were still horrible to other people. They have the choice to rectify the situation (an apology goes a long way) or choose to be rude. This determines the kind of person they are.

Whenever my family sees such bad behaviour we always think that their life must be so horrible that they can't do the proper thing.

Don't get me wrong...I see more good behaviour than bad. I just don't believe in accepting reasons for people to behave so poorly.

Nicely put.

Yes there can be background reasons, health conditions, hidden disabilities, kids or something else annoyed you at breakfast, or you had hurricane snoring keeping you awake all night on the cruise.

Yes a quick apology may help, to me, there are errors that occur, we are human, things go unintentionally wrong.

It's how you respond and rectify it.

To me the worst thing is the cruiers who have " moral outrage " , i.e. Rules police, who intentionally, say to other cruiers you can't do this, you can't do that. It has been increasing, but they should leave that to trained crew members, and actually just relax and enjoy the vacation.

Some just have their viewpoint and do not see a wider view.

 

[dvcdisney]

Oddly enough, I have a perfect trip almost every time. I'm sure lots of people do. There is such a thing.

There's actually very little that could happen that I wouldn't just shrug my shoulders and move on. I read trip reports from people who whine about this or that and all I can think is 'why would you care?'. What have I paid to much money for?? I paid to much money to sweat the small stuff. I'm just happy to be there.
You get out of your experience what you expect. So, expect everything and anything.

I believe a "perfect" vacation is subjective. Some feel that EVERY single thing has to work out since they don't have a plan B. Others look at the overall vacation. In this case, I've had some great and wonderful vacations....but if I went back and thought about the things that happen, I know it wasn't perfect.

Although I have enjoyed my vacations, none of them were perfect...but that's because I have realistic expectations. You shrug things off because you know things happen, but not everyone can or would do that....and I can't imagine anyone going through what the OP had to endure and shrug that off...I know I wouldn't. I would definitely speak to a nearby CM or make sure I contact someone at guest services so they can direct me to the proper person to speak with. That was unacceptable.

 

[dvcdisney]

Nicely put.

Yes there can be background reasons, health conditions, hidden disabilities, kids or something else annoyed you at breakfast, or you had hurricane snoring keeping you awake all night on the cruise.

Yes a quick apology may help, to me, there are errors that occur, we are human, things go unintentionally wrong.

It's how you respond and rectify it.

To me the worst thing is the cruiers who have " moral outrage " , i.e. Rules police, who intentionally, say to other cruiers you can't do this, you can't do that. It has been increasing, but they should leave that to trained crew members, and actually just relax and enjoy the vacation.

Some just have their viewpoint and do not see a wider view.

Actually, I would take the "rule police" over rude and selfish people. If I did something I wasn't suppose to do, I would be okay if someone nicely reminded me that I'm not allowed to do it.

I'm not surprise there are more and more people doing it. That's just a reaction to an increasing amount of people selfishly doing what they want without any regard for others. I think they also need to see a wider view. The whole world doesn't revolve around them.

But at the same time, I believe that some of these "rule police" are just as selfish as the people they try to control. The rules only apply if they believe in it. They may get very upset if someone reserves a pool chair, but turn around and save 10 seats for their family in the theatre. They choose the rule that suits them.

With respect to my experience about a woman yelling down the hall for us to slow down...As I mentioned, we are normally fast walkers, but we understand that others aren't so we are very considerate in making sure that we don't run into anyone or push them...but that woman wasn't considerate enough to realize that while she's a very slow walker, there are others who aren't. As a few posters here mentioned, since they have issues with walking, they are more than happy to step aside when someone is walking faster - I don't expect them to do that even though others may. I'm the one walking fast, it's on me to make sure not to run into people - again, I know most people don't see it that way. Since the slower walkers are considerate and the fast walkers are also considerate, there would be no issue. The issue happens when that woman feels it necessary to yell down the hall at us or if we actually ran into her.

So, this may be virtually impossible, but if more people are considerate, there would be less issues.

 

[Sunshine2U]

This is not boorish behavior but on our last cruise there was a large family group on the Dream who would always send emissaries out early to stake out about 12 chairs. For the entire cruise, this family group held onto this prime section between the kids pool and funnel vision. There was always someone in the chairs and everyone came and went, but there was never a time (that I noticed) when all of the chairs were occupied. So they were pretty much within guidelines but at the edge of acceptable chair holding. I thought it was a shame that all those families with little kids (including us) didn't have a chance to enjoy those seats. But it was just me, DH and our nephew, and we chose to have fun together than splitting up to get the best seats, etc. My personality is such that I would think, oh, if Aunt Sue is not going to be back out today, let's let that sweet family that's looking for a place to sit have those chairs - pixie dust for them! Their attitude was these are ours and we will fight for them if necessary (you could just tell). I know there are threads that go on and on about chair holding so not trying to start one.

Regarding money and value: If I spend this much money for a Disney cruise, I'm gonna be darn sure it's an awesome vacation. That means nobody's going to steal my shine and no bad service is going to touch my pixie dust. That's a mental mindset. It's not a threat. Why would I spend so much money and then let someone else ruin it for me? I can't control what other people do but I can control how I feel about it. That attitude won't solve every situation but it goes a long way.

 

[cyclenut]

I agree completely....but some of us also feel we paid a lot and we don't always get what we expect...does that excuse or even give reason for such behaviour?

I don't think so...I still think that circumstances may affect the behaviour, but the person behaves the way he/she does because they are that kind of person...a jerk.

My post was not intended to offer an excuse but rather a perspective that may help each of us understand that this behavior may have an underlying cause rather than be just a random act. I think seeking to understand each other, even when someone is being irrational, can go along way to resolving issues. In fact, it's the only way I know how to handle a difficult person. It's amazing how fast you can de-escalate a situation by first seeking to understand the person who is being confrontational or just behaving poorly.

 

[dvcdisney]

My post was not intended to offer an excuse but rather a perspective that may help each of us understand that this behavior may have an underlying cause rather than be just a random act. I think seeking to understand each other, even when someone is being irrational, can go along way to resolving issues. In fact, it's the only way I know how to handle a difficult person. It's amazing how fast you can de-escalate a situation by first seeking to understand the person who is being confrontational or just behaving poorly.

I agree and I didn't think you meant it as an excuse. However, when people feel they are justified in behaving poorly because of any random reason, it lessens the drive to check themselves. They need to take responsibility for their actions. I'm sorry, but I wasn't the cause of their issue, so I shouldn't have to deal with their outbursts. We should be understanding, but that only comes when others are considerate enough to try and curb their behaviour. If they are really that upset, they should find a quiet place and decompress...not take it out on others.

If someone has an outburst and they're considerate enough to apologize, I would be considerate enough to understand that they are going through something. When they acknowledge their wrongdoing, they'll be more inclined to try to change their behaviour.

When someone is going through something and feel the need to blame others because of their misfortunes, I don't feel the need to understand them. They are not worth my time. I apologize if that seems harsh, but the civil world is expected to empathize with others, but there's a limit...I would find it very difficult to understand why someone finds it okay to behave so poorly.

 

[dvcdisney]

This is not boorish behavior but on our last cruise there was a large family group on the Dream who would always send emissaries out early to stake out about 12 chairs. For the entire cruise, this family group held onto this prime section between the kids pool and funnel vision. There was always someone in the chairs and everyone came and went, but there was never a time (that I noticed) when all of the chairs were occupied. So they were pretty much within guidelines but at the edge of acceptable chair holding. I thought it was a shame that all those families with little kids (including us) didn't have a chance to enjoy those seats. But it was just me, DH and our nephew, and we chose to have fun together than splitting up to get the best seats, etc. My personality is such that I would think, oh, if Aunt Sue is not going to be back out today, let's let that sweet family that's looking for a place to sit have those chairs - pixie dust for them! Their attitude was these are ours and we will fight for them if necessary (you could just tell). I know there are threads that go on and on about chair holding so not trying to start one.

Regarding money and value: If I spend this much money for a Disney cruise, I'm gonna be darn sure it's an awesome vacation. That means nobody's going to steal my shine and no bad service is going to touch my pixie dust. That's a mental mindset. It's not a threat. Why would I spend so much money and then let someone else ruin it for me? I can't control what other people do but I can control how I feel about it. That attitude won't solve every situation but it goes a long way.

But if someone did do something that bothered you during your vacation, would you be verbally abusive as the OP described? I'm sure you wouldn't...and I think most of us wouldn't either...but those people did. My point with my posts are that no matter what the reason is for those people's behaviour, most would not go as far as what the OP described. Some people are just not nice no matter how much you try to justify their actions...they're just not nice.

 

[Stratus22]

This is not boorish behavior but on our last cruise there was a large family group on the Dream who would always send emissaries out early to stake out about 12 chairs. For the entire cruise, this family group held onto this prime section between the kids pool and funnel vision. There was always someone in the chairs and everyone came and went, but there was never a time (that I noticed) when all of the chairs were occupied. So they were pretty much within guidelines but at the edge of acceptable chair holding. I thought it was a shame that all those families with little kids (including us) didn't have a chance to enjoy those seats. But it was just me, DH and our nephew, and we chose to have fun together than splitting up to get the best seats, etc. My personality is such that I would think, oh, if Aunt Sue is not going to be back out today, let's let that sweet family that's looking for a place to sit have those chairs - pixie dust for them! Their attitude was these are ours and we will fight for them if necessary (you could just tell). I know there are threads that go on and on about chair holding so not trying to start one.

Regarding money and value: If I spend this much money for a Disney cruise, I'm gonna be darn sure it's an awesome vacation. That means nobody's going to steal my shine and no bad service is going to touch my pixie dust. That's a mental mindset. It's not a threat. Why would I spend so much money and then let someone else ruin it for me? I can't control what other people do but I can control how I feel about it. That attitude won't solve every situation but it goes a long way.

This upsets me more than most...besides people who think they can get on an elevator while you've been waiting there 2 minutes longer than they have...but I digress. We are a family of 4 and we only use 2 chairs, one for Hubby and I. my kids never sit. There was a lady on my last cruise who decided to put towels down on 8 chairs for 5 people. When they left after hearing them say they would be back in a few hours, I grabbed one chair for my husband. So I took the towel off of that chair and put my husbands belongings on that chair. Wouldn't you know it, the lady came back and started to scold me for grabbing that chair. I just laughed at her. She walked away and I grabbed the towels off of the other 7 chairs and I had the last laugh....again.

 

[YawningDodo]

This is not boorish behavior but on our last cruise there was a large family group on the Dream who would always send emissaries out early to stake out about 12 chairs. For the entire cruise, this family group held onto this prime section between the kids pool and funnel vision. There was always someone in the chairs and everyone came and went, but there was never a time (that I noticed) when all of the chairs were occupied. So they were pretty much within guidelines but at the edge of acceptable chair holding. I thought it was a shame that all those families with little kids (including us) didn't have a chance to enjoy those seats. But it was just me, DH and our nephew, and we chose to have fun together than splitting up to get the best seats, etc. My personality is such that I would think, oh, if Aunt Sue is not going to be back out today, let's let that sweet family that's looking for a place to sit have those chairs - pixie dust for them! Their attitude was these are ours and we will fight for them if necessary (you could just tell). I know there are threads that go on and on about chair holding so not trying to start one.

Regarding money and value: If I spend this much money for a Disney cruise, I'm gonna be darn sure it's an awesome vacation. That means nobody's going to steal my shine and no bad service is going to touch my pixie dust. That's a mental mindset. It's not a threat. Why would I spend so much money and then let someone else ruin it for me? I can't control what other people do but I can control how I feel about it. That attitude won't solve every situation but it goes a long way.

Yeah, I have some pretty Strong Opinions about chair holding that I'm doing my best not to share here, because I don't want to derail the thread with my chair-related anger.

Oddly enough, I have a perfect trip almost every time. I'm sure lots of people do. There is such a thing.

There's actually very little that could happen that I wouldn't just shrug my shoulders and move on. I read trip reports from people who whine about this or that and all I can think is 'why would you care?'. What have I paid to much money for?? I paid to much money to sweat the small stuff. I'm just happy to be there.
You get out of your experience what you expect. So, expect everything and anything.

I believe a "perfect" vacation is subjective. Some feel that EVERY single thing has to work out since they don't have a plan B. Others look at the overall vacation. In this case, I've had some great and wonderful vacations....but if I went back and thought about the things that happen, I know it wasn't perfect.

Although I have enjoyed my vacations, none of them were perfect...but that's because I have realistic expectations. You shrug things off because you know things happen, but not everyone can or would do that....and I can't imagine anyone going through what the OP had to endure and shrug that off...I know I wouldn't. I would definitely speak to a nearby CM or make sure I contact someone at guest services so they can direct me to the proper person to speak with. That was unacceptable.

I agree with dvcdisney--"perfect" is in how you define it. I personally don't think of any of my trips as "perfect" because I make an effort to set realistic expectations for my life, including vacations, because going in with the expectation that it's not going to be perfect helps me take things in stride and enhances my enjoyment. Tons of things went wrong on my cruise this January. I nearly missed the ship because of airline delays, went for nearly 40 straight hours without sleep while traveling because when I did finally get on a connection it was a red-eye, had my excursion cancelled on me, got both overheated and emotionally overwhelmed multiple times during MDAS, and discovered that the drive from Miami to Orlando is basically my own personal hell. Oh, and then I overtaxed myself in WDW and had the flu when I got home. A perfect trip it was not.

But...when my flights were delayed, I looked at it in very practical terms of doing what I could to get there, and comforted myself with contingency plans for what I'd do if I missed the boat. When I stayed up for two days straight, I just had a really, really good sleep the first night of the cruise and allowed myself to take it easy to recover. I used the cancellation of the excursion as an opportunity to play more bingo and to have a more relaxed port day. When I got too hot or too cranky during MDAS, I retreated to my room to rest and recover. When I endured the drive from Miami to Orlando...okay, that part was terrible; there was nothing for it but to swear to myself that I'd never do it again. Ditto not taking care of myself well enough to avoid getting sick.

I loved my trip and I've been itching to go on the next one since I got back.

I really do think that expectations for perfection are the enemy of enjoyment. While I understand how people get into that mindset, I view it as setting oneself up for failure from the outset. If you expect perfection, it makes it a lot harder to bounce back when reality fails (as it will always fail) to be perfect.

 

[cadien]

Oddly enough, I have a perfect trip almost every time. I'm sure lots of people do. There is such a thing.

There's actually very little that could happen that I wouldn't just shrug my shoulders and move on. I read trip reports from people who whine about this or that and all I can think is 'why would you care?'. What have I paid to much money for?? I paid to much money to sweat the small stuff. I'm just happy to be there.
You get out of your experience what you expect. So, expect everything and anything.

I think that's a different definition of perfect than most of us use. Just like Dug720, I've never had a perfect trip, but that doesn't mean I let any incident sour me on the overall experience. They've all be fantastic overall and I have no regrets. But when you get painfully sunburnt, for example, the fact I shrug my shoulders (ouch) and still enjoy the rest of the trip doesn't mean it's perfect. We can recognize downsides without being downers, and without being unhappy.

Yes, some people rant about things beyond a proportion I understand. But there's a continuum.

 

[cadien]

In this case, yes. But the bottom line is the kid should not have been in a seat unless the parents when booking the DCL transfers said "I know kid is under 3, but we want to pay for a seat because he is too big for our laps."

I don't know about transfers, but on our excursions you definitely have the option of reserving a seat for an under 3 for no charge.

 

[dvcdisney]

I don't know about transfers, but on our excursions you definitely have the option of reserving a seat for an under 3 for no charge.

Now that I think about it, I do believe that children under 3 were counted in a few of my past DCL port adventures...but it may also have something to do with the fact that boat tours require a number for every one, even babies. So, it could have been just the excursions with boat tours (or combined with boat tours) that required it. And if that's the case then the toddler was counted as having a seat on the bus.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

Consumer Reports recently reported that many mineral sunscreens are not as effective as chemical sunscreens, failing to meet the SPF on their labels. That kind of puts consumers in a difficult position between mineral sunscreens that are better for the environment, and even safer for our skin vs effectiveness.

For me, most chemical based sunscreens cause me to break out into itchy red rashes. My pale, sensitive skin does not like chemicals.

Actually, I would take the "rule police" over rude and selfish people. If I did something I wasn't suppose to do, I would be okay if someone nicely reminded me that I'm not allowed to do it.

I'm not surprise there are more and more people doing it. That's just a reaction to an increasing amount of people selfishly doing what they want without any regard for others. I think they also need to see a wider view. The whole world doesn't revolve around them.

But at the same time, I believe that some of these "rule police" are just as selfish as the people they try to control. The rules only apply if they believe in it. They may get very upset if someone reserves a pool chair, but turn around and save 10 seats for their family in the theatre. They choose the rule that suits them.

So, this may be virtually impossible, but if more people are considerate, there would be less issues.

This is so true. My last trip to WDW, I was by myself when I entered a theater (don't remember which one). There wasn't much of a crowd waiting to get in, so I stopped somewhere near the middle of a row to sit down thinking there would be plenty of room for others to sit after me. A couple of older ladies behind me told me that I had to move on down (which Is the rule), so I did without looking behind me. When I sat down (about 2/3 of the way in), I saw that the "ladies" stopped right where I had and had sat down in the middle of the row without moving down themselves. That's where they stayed during the entire show.

 

[dvcdisney]

For me, most chemical based sunscreens cause me to break out into itchy red rashes. My pale, sensitive skin does not like chemicals.



This is so true. My last trip to WDW, I was by myself when I entered a theater (don't remember which one). There wasn't much of a crowd waiting to get in, so I stopped somewhere near the middle of a row to sit down thinking there would be plenty of room for others to sit after me. A couple of older ladies behind me told me that I had to move on down (which Is the rule), so I did without looking behind me. When I sat down (about 2/3 of the way in), I saw that the "ladies" stopped right where I had and had sat down in the middle of the row without moving down themselves. That's where they stayed during the entire show.

That's strange. I don't ever recall being told that everyone has to move at the end of the row in the theatre. We've always sat near the middle and people would fill in on either side of us, but I've never heard any announcement to move. Perhaps sometimes they mention to fill all available seats when it's busy, but I don't remember being asked to move.

Those older ladies were just lying to you so that they can sit where they wanted to sit without any regard for others. The fact that they can do that shows the kind of people they are. The sad thing about this is not that those ladies will continue to be horrible people, but that it may make you more jaded. This is the issue with having to deal with such selfish self absorbed people...it's the considerate people who suffer.

 

[MelSpees]

For me, most chemical based sunscreens cause me to break out into itchy red rashes. My pale, sensitive skin does not like chemicals.



This is so true. My last trip to WDW, I was by myself when I entered a theater (don't remember which one). There wasn't much of a crowd waiting to get in, so I stopped somewhere near the middle of a row to sit down thinking there would be plenty of room for others to sit after me. A couple of older ladies behind me told me that I had to move on down (which Is the rule), so I did without looking behind me. When I sat down (about 2/3 of the way in), I saw that the "ladies" stopped right where I had and had sat down in the middle of the row without moving down themselves. That's where they stayed during the entire show.

OMG! Some people have nerve.

 

[MomOTwins]

In this case, yes. But the bottom line is the kid should not have been in a seat unless the parents when booking the DCL transfers said "I know kid is under 3, but we want to pay for a seat because he is too big for our laps."

I have no kids, so I don't know. But if I did and wanted the under-3 kid to have a seat I would tell them that and expect to be charged. If I was not charged, I would not presume to put the kid in a seat

Just for reference for others in future bus transfers: Actually, when I booked my transfers I did say I wanted a seat for my son and offered to pay, but the cast member told me that while they do not charge for an under 3, they reserve a seat for them nonetheless. This is a safety issue as otherwise the child will be on a bus on a highway for a 90-minute drive without a secure seat belt. I'll admit it is unusual to get a freebie from Disney, but sure enough, they did have enough seats for everyone on the bus, including my 2-year old son. We also arrived 45 minutes early to have seats together. That man was the last to board, so the only seat available for him was not ideal.

 

[tinkerone]

That's strange. I don't ever recall being told that everyone has to move at the end of the row in the theatre. We've always sat near the middle and people would fill in on either side of us, but I've never heard any announcement to move. Perhaps sometimes they mention to fill all available seats when it's busy, but I don't remember being asked to move.

Those older ladies were just lying to you so that they can sit where they wanted to sit without any regard for others. The fact that they can do that shows the kind of people they are. The sad thing about this is not that those ladies will continue to be horrible people, but that it may make you more jaded. This is the issue with having to deal with such selfish self absorbed people...it's the considerate people who suffer.

Most, if not all, theatre shows at WDW make that announcement. You are not able to fill in on both sides as everyone enters through one side of the room and exit on the other.
funny that those ladies would think that rule should apply to some but not them. That's truly self centered IMO.