Being a SAHM/D with "help" from the government?

Is it ok to be a SAHParent if you need government assistance to do it?

  • Sure, Stay home is expensive. Take all the help you can get.

  • No, it's up to you to raise your family.


Results are only viewable after voting.
How nice that you get to enjoy your children while the government provides WIC and health insurance.

Why do people in this situation not work? There are third shift positions, companies with onsite daycare.

This just makes my stomach turn.

Wow, that was uncalled for. :sad2: People being rude and mean turns my stomach a lot more then a mother accepting food and health insurance for her children. :guilty:

People please keep in mind that the economy isn't so good right now and jobs that might be available where you are, might not be where other people are.

While I fully support parents who work to support their family, I do not support bashing others. I also realize we don't live in a perfect world and what might look right on paper isn't a one size fits all thing for every family.
 
People please keep in mind that the economy isn't so good right now and jobs that might be available where you are, might not be where other people are.

As much as I think staying at home and getting welfare is unacceptable, I do agree wholeheartedly with the above statement. When my husband was in the military and he was an E-3 (along with all of our neighbors), all of the ones with kids were using WIC. I was shocked but then realized, we really WERE poor. Also, we were living in an area (Caribou, Maine) that had almost no job industry whatsoever besides the military. It took me 9 months of applying for jobs to finally get one as a hostess in the Officers Club. Believe me, the hours weren't family friendly. If I had kids, I probably could not have taken the job because my husband's job was THE priority and he could get called out for no reason. It would not have been feasible for me to pay the going rate for daycare out of my minimum wage pay.
 
That's what my parents did for years. Dad worked during the day, and mom is a nurse and worked a night shift. She'd sleep while the younger ones who weren't in school yet took naps, and then from 6-10 in the evening. Was it perfect? no, but it kept food on the table and a roof over our heads, and one parent was always home with the kids.
That is exactly what my parents did, right down to my mother being a nurse.

I should add that as much as I have issues with my mother, I do totally respect the fact that having me unplanned at the age of 20 after 9 months of marriage while being in nursing school did not stop her from completing her education. She did so without ANY government aid whatsoever, with no on-campus day care and with my father just being out of the Navy and his having no high school diploma and working pumping gas for a living. They never even considered applying for welfare, even though they would have qualified. I totally respect her drive and determination to better herself.

Yes, she had help from both my father's much younger siblings in terms of babysitting me when I was little, but nothing takes the place of initiative and drive to better oneself. I think that kind of mental and emotional toughness is missing in our society today because a lot of folks truly believe, "Why should I work when the government is giving me money?"
 
Well the national unemployment rate is 4.9 for July, while the New Orleans area is 4.4. A quick glance at job postings show many evening positions - clerical, retail etc. Fast food is hiring as well as restaurants and hotels.

I believe in welfare, universal healthcare and other government programs for those who need it. But not for individuals who chose to stay home and quote enjoy their kids unquote.
 

Well the national unemployment rate is 4.9 for July, while the New Orleans area is 4.4. A quick glance at job postings show many evening positions - clerical, retail etc. Fast food is hiring as well as restaurants and hotels.

I believe in welfare, universal healthcare and other government programs for those who need it. But not for individuals who chose to stay home and quote enjoy their kids unquote.

WIC and state programs for low income families for health insurance is not welfare or even income. They receive no money, just some extra food and pretty lossy health insurance, but will cover the kids in the case of emergency.

For the record I believe no child should ever go with out health insurance and that is why most states have programs like Mrs. Kramer is taking about. It is not Medicaid, but a program to help people who fall through the cracks. Not a very good program, but better then nothing.

I don't know their situation, but her husband works, but yet they still don't have adequate insurance. What makes you think any job she could get would provide insurance??????
 
WIC and state programs for low income families for health insurance is not welfare or even income. They receive no money, just some extra food and pretty lossy health insurance, but will cover the kids in the case of emergency.

For the record I believe no child should ever go with out health insurance and that is why most states have programs like Mrs. Kramer is taking about. It is not Medicaid, but a program to help people who fall through the cracks. Not a very good program, but better then nothing.

I don't know their situation, but her husband works, but yet they still don't have adequate insurance. What makes you think any job she could get would provide insurance??????

Well she seems like a smart person!
 
When we first had DS a woman at my DH's office was telling me about WIC. She qualified for it and had grabbed a application for me. I looked up the qualifications online. Now I don't understand how she qualified and we certainly wouldn't. It was interesting to know that she had no IDEA what the guys in her office make. My DH was there when she was talking about it and it was a little awkward ...

She has her first daughter with her boyfriend. They live together. They both work full time. She makes between $25-30K. He makes at least that ... The cut off for WIC in our state for a family of 3 is $31,765, combined yearly gross income. All I can figure out is 1. Because they aren't married she only needs to claim herself and the baby. (In that case family of 2 is $25,327) or 2. He gets paid under the table completely so shows no income. :confused3 Personally either one is wrong. Her daughter is watched by family so no daycare costs.
 
I actually agree with ChicagoDisney - but not in the delivery.

The truth is there are options out there for the poster to still enjoy her kids but not receive assitance. The health insurance - I'm on board with if she couldn't find a job without insurance. But in truth she hasn't even looked for a job - so you can't really say that she can't find a job w/o insurance. You don't know whats there when you are not looking.

She chooses to stay home with her kids, knowing she can't afford to or else she wouldn't need WIC. Which I know doesn't give her money - but considering that food is one of those essential things to raising children - one would figure they could afford to buy those things themselves while "enjoying" them.

JMHO.

~Amanda
 
I actually agree with ChicagoDisney - but not in the delivery.

The truth is there are options out there for the poster to still enjoy her kids but not receive assitance. The health insurance - I'm on board with if she couldn't find a job without insurance. But in truth she hasn't even looked for a job - so you can't really say that she can't find a job w/o insurance. You don't know whats there when you are not looking.

She chooses to stay home with her kids, knowing she can't afford to or else she wouldn't need WIC. Which I know doesn't give her money - but considering that food is one of those essential things to raising children - one would figure they could afford to buy those things themselves while "enjoying" them.

JMHO.

~Amanda

Well said:thumbsup2 . I did not get to "enjoy" my older children because I HAD to work or we wouldn't be able to feed them. With my income WIC was not an option but heck I could have stayed home & collected it but I have too much self respect for that. I did the respectable thing and worked to feed my own kids.
 
Here's something that perplexes me. Why do some people look at daycare as having someone else raise your child but look at school as a place to get an education:confused3 ?

Personally I don't think people should even entertain the idea of having a child unless they can fully and completely support that child all on their own.

Oh, and I'm one of those horrible mothers who works (all of 21 hours a week) because I WANT TO:scared1: :scared1: :rotfl2: !! I like challenging my mind and being with grownups. It also makes me treasure the time with my DD even more. It's also nice to be able to stock $$ away or college, retirement etc.


I always wondered that too. I am a working mom who works 40 hours a week. My daughter is 1 and goes to an in home day care which she loves! I figure if anything NOW is the time for her to be in a daycare. She sleeps 3 to 4 hours of the 8 hours she is there. She gets to interact and play with other kids. When she comes home she gets 3 dedicated hours of her parents attention - as we missed her all day, and then she is off to bed. On the weekends we have lots of family time - I take off for Dr's appts, major holidays and vacations.

DH's and my plan is to work and payoff as much debt as we can now, put money in savings and when she starts Kindergarten - then I'll go down to part time, or a work from home job so that I can be there to get her off the bus everyday. After school programs can be expensive and I think it is important to be home at the end of the day for your kiddos to come home to. There is alot more peer-pressure and stress when a child enters school.

However if our plan doesn't work - we will use an after school program - I'll get home at 5:15 just like I do now - and again she'll have that dedeicated 3 to 4 hours before bed.

A parent can be just involved with their child in that short amount of time everyday as a parent who is home all day. It is all about the concentration of meeting that child's needs.

JMHO.

~Amanda
 
WIC and state programs for low income families for health insurance is not welfare or even income. They receive no money, just some extra food and pretty lossy health insurance, but will cover the kids in the case of emergency.

Food = Money Same difference.

By giving them food they are allowing them to not use their money for food like the rest of us. They only went to food because so many people cheated and didn't use the money for food and the kids were still hungry that it wasn't helping the situation.
 
I'm all for parents staying home with their kids if that is their choice. But with that choice should come the responsibility of feeding and clothing said child. I'm in favor of WIC and government assistance in terms of a check only when its an absolute necessity. Wanting to enjoy one's kids is not a necessity, imo.

That said, I hate the idea of a child not having milk to drink or food to eat, or healthcare when necessary. I guess in order to provide for those children who would otherwise not eat, we have to overlook those who want to cheat the system. I don't really know anyone living the "high life" on government assistance, those people really only come along on the DIS. The people I see on government assistance are inner city poverty, definately not a situation where anyone would want to be.
 
WIC and state programs for low income families for health insurance is not welfare or even income. They receive no money, just some extra food and pretty lossy health insurance, but will cover the kids in the case of emergency.

For the record I believe no child should ever go with out health insurance and that is why most states have programs like Mrs. Kramer is taking about. It is not Medicaid, but a program to help people who fall through the cracks. Not a very good program, but better then nothing.

I don't know their situation, but her husband works, but yet they still don't have adequate insurance. What makes you think any job she could get would provide insurance??????


i'm not knocking either program, but technicaly both wic and federal or state sponsored health insurance programs do fall under the category of 'public assistance' (which most people refer to as 'welfare'). both programs have an eligiblity criteria that is based in large part on an income eligibility test to determine those individuals who are "in need of public assistance for the welfare of themselves or a child". as far as medical programs go-the only government administered medical program that does not fall under this criteria is the medicare program because eligibility is purely by virtue of either reaching retirement age or having a disabling condition, and having contributed enough to meet the qualification criteria to opt in. if a person has'nt met the contributory criteria they will be processed under the ssi program which along with it's medical program, has income and property criteria and is also deemed a 'public assistance' program (it has'nt been that many years that ssi was administered in local 'welfare offices'-and all state medical programs are still in most if not all states administered for eligibility in the same offices/caseloads as all other public assistance programs).
 
I'm all for parents staying home with their kids if that is their choice. But with that choice should come the responsibility of feeding and clothing said child. I'm in favor of WIC and government assistance in terms of a check only when its an absolute necessity. Wanting to enjoy one's kids is not a necessity, imo.

That said, I hate the idea of a child not having milk to drink or food to eat, or healthcare when necessary. I guess in order to provide for those children who would otherwise not eat, we have to overlook those who want to cheat the system. I don't really know anyone living the "high life" on government assistance, those people really only come along on the DIS. The people I see on government assistance are inner city poverty, definately not a situation where anyone would want to be.

Well said.
 
WIC and similar programs are meant to help out in times of need.

My primary problem with WIC (etc) would be if the folks in question are conspiciously consuming by way of WDW trips, really nice cars, etc.....
 
I don't really know anyone living the "high life" on government assistance, those people really only come along on the DIS. The people I see on government assistance are inner city poverty, definately not a situation where anyone would want to be.

I personally know someone who has been on public assistance (full welfare with monthly cash payments plus medicaid, food stamps, section 8, and HEAP) since her child was born 18 years ago. When she's been given an ultimatum, she's gotten a job for just long enough to get her case worker off her back. She's three times taken college classes for a semester or two (paid for by grants and/or loans that will never be repaid) but doesn't have a degree because she keeps changing her major. She went through a medical assistant program, paid for by the state, then got a temp job (six weeks) which she complated, then went right back on welfare because "she didn't like it."

She drives a late model car that her former boyfriend bought for her. She lives in a really nice apartment in one of the nicest complexes in her area paid for by section 8. (The apartment complex is required to reserve a certain percentage of units for section 8 housing by her county.) She has full medical and dental. Her son is now in college--you got it--paid for by the taxpayers. She gets enough assistance that she needs nothing. She's got nice clothes (not designer brands, but bought at Penney's and Kohl's), never worries about having food on the table. She's got a ton of cable channels, including permium movie channels! She was recently told that she was again going to have to either find a job or go to school, so she's going to again take some college classes that will again be paid for by the taxpayer in yet another major.

I know that's just one person, but does anyone really believe that there aren't plenty more like her out there?
 
I personally know someone who has been on public assistance (full welfare with monthly cash payments plus medicaid, food stamps, section 8, and HEAP) since her child was born 18 years ago. When she's been given an ultimatum, she's gotten a job for just long enough to get her case worker off her back. She's three times taken college classes for a semester or two (paid for by grants and/or loans that will never be repaid) but doesn't have a degree because she keeps changing her major. She went through a medical assistant program, paid for by the state, then got a temp job (six weeks) which she complated, then went right back on welfare because "she didn't like it."

She drives a late model car that her former boyfriend bought for her. She lives in a really nice apartment in one of the nicest complexes in her area paid for by section 8. (The apartment complex is required to reserve a certain percentage of units for section 8 housing by her county.) She has full medical and dental. Her son is now in college--you got it--paid for by the taxpayers. She gets enough assistance that she needs nothing. She's got nice clothes (not designer brands, but bought at Penney's and Kohl's), never worries about having food on the table. She's got a ton of cable channels, including permium movie channels! She was recently told that she was again going to have to either find a job or go to school, so she's going to again take some college classes that will again be paid for by the taxpayer in yet another major.

I know that's just one person, but does anyone really believe that there aren't plenty more like her out there?


unless she's got another minor child her 'free ride' should have already ended. her eligibility to cash aide would have been linked to her minor child who would have only been eligible until age 18 (unless he was in his senior year of high school and would have graduated by age 19). her link to medical was via her child as well-and while she would have gotten transitional medical assistance the criteria is much more restrictive for adults without minor children (generaly you have to have a documented disabling condition that precludes employment). as for food stamps-able bodied adults without dependants who don't meet the work requirement generaly can only receive for 3 months every 36 months (and attending college on the mom's part absent of having at least a part time job won't meet the requirement).
as for the housing subsidy-she may find it gets cut WAY back-since her son is an adult (even if he's attending college). she may in fact find out that she has to move from her current home into a one bedroom place because she no longer has a minor child (section 8 won't give her the option of just making up the difference between the reduced amount and full rent, it has to be a residence that meets their designation of her needs, which as a single adult would be a 1 bedroom unit). as for the car-even if she bought it for herself it would be exempt under most programs for any kind of consideration (as is a home someone owns and resides in).
 
Barkely,

She only has the one child. He turned 18 about a month ago, which is probably why she's been told to get a job or get training. I think your point is that she's in for a very rude awakening, and I agree with you 100%. She's 48 years old, and has never held a job for more than about six months at a time. She has nothing set aside for retirement, and is used to living a comfortable life--which is about to come crashing to an end--but she refuses to see it. In all honesty I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly developes Fibrmyalgia or something along those lines and tries to get SSI/SSDI on that basis.
 
I am confused. Why not?

And this is an example of me forgetting I've posted on a thread. Why not? If the gov't is paying sahm's, they are subsidizing childcare. If the gov't pays the YMCA for part of Jimmy's daycare or gives Jimmy's parents a tax credit for daycare, they are subsidizing childcare. You should either make it even for both situations or subsidize neither. My choice would be neither as having kids is a choice, but the realities of poor planning what they are, you could subsidize both at low income limits (hopefully not up to $83k). A person is giving up income to stay at home with the kids, just like a person gives up some of their income to the daycare.
 














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