Being a SAHM/D with "help" from the government?

[VAN]

Again, what is best for the child?

Our children learn by example. If you are able bodied and choose to stay home and live on welfare then you are cheating ... your child sees this and understands that dishonesty "pays" and is "normal" if you can get away with it.

Hmmm ... good parenting? Not something I'd want my kids to learn.

Just MHO though.

 

[CEDmom]

Here's something that perplexes me. Why do some people look at daycare as having someone else raise your child but look at school as a place to get an education ?

Personally I don't think people should even entertain the idea of having a child unless they can fully and completely support that child all on their own.

Oh, and I'm one of those horrible mothers who works (all of 21 hours a week) because I WANT TO !! I like challenging my mind and being with grownups. It also makes me treasure the time with my DD even more. It's also nice to be able to stock $$ away or college, retirement etc.

 

[dcgrumpy]

Here's something that perplexes me. Why do some people look at daycare as having someone else raise your child but look at school as a place to get an education ?

I've never understood that either. I guess 5 is the magic age.

 

[lillygator]

Here's something that perplexes me. Why do some people look at daycare as having someone else raise your child but look at school as a place to get an education ?

Personally I don't think people should even entertain the idea of having a child unless they can fully and completely support that child all on their own.

Oh, and I'm one of those horrible mothers who works (all of 21 hours a week) because I WANT TO !! I like challenging my mind and being with grownups. It also makes me treasure the time with my DD even more. It's also nice to be able to stock $$ away or college, retirement etc.

That's a great question!!

 

[CEDmom]

Not sure why, but technically, every SAHM, no matter what her hubby earns, is getting government assistance if her kids attend public school.

She's getting a few hours of peace and quiet but that's about it .

 

[DisneyPhD]

Here's something that perplexes me. Why do some people look at daycare as having someone else raise your child but look at school as a place to get an education ?

Personally I don't think people should even entertain the idea of having a child unless they can fully and completely support that child all on their own.

Oh, and I'm one of those horrible mothers who works (all of 21 hours a week) because I WANT TO !! I like challenging my mind and being with grownups. It also makes me treasure the time with my DD even more. It's also nice to be able to stock $$ away or college, retirement etc.

I do agree. I was thinking more about this topic. Especially since SAHM are more likely to breast feed (or at least being a SAHM makes it a lot easier to breast feed.) It does sadden me to think of mothers of new babies going to work for low paying jobs that barely cover the cost of day care and not breast feeding when they would of if they were at home. Of course this is kind of my point about children can benefit from day care when they are older and more social, but I do really think it is best for the baby and mother to have more time together.

I worked in day care for years. I will say that the kids that spend more hours there (9+hours a day, sometimes up to 11 hours a day, 5 days a week) often had more issues and problems then the kids that were there for shorter days and maybe not every day a week. There is a fine line and it can be very hard to find the balance. Plus sometimes we have to make hard choices as parents. Giving up your job for a few years and going back to work when the child is no longer a baby isn't something most mothers can do with much ease. I think it is easier in other countries.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I definitely have mixed feelings on this issue, but, I tend to support being a SAHM/D with government assistance. There are so many types of government assistance; one common one that is frequently overlooked is public schools. I don't have any children in the public schools, but, I do own a home, and I pay property tax, thousand of dollars annually. A good chunk of that goes to pay for public schools. It cost $11,000 per year per student to run the public schools in my district. In contrast, I pay tuition to send my son to my parish Catholic school, because that is something I value. It is worth the extra $3800 per year to send him there, in addition to the $5000 or so I am paying for the public schools. It only costs about $5000 or so, or less than half as much, to educate a child in the Catholic school. Why the descrepency? Not sure why, but technically, every SAHM, no matter what her hubby earns, is getting government assistance if her kids attend public school.

I don't undersatand what being a SAHM has to do with property taxes

 

[Camicar]

i suspect that unless the person the op speaks of is in one of the states with liberal child age/childcare exemptions, the 'mom' is either claiming a disability (of a type not eligible for other benefits) or something of a disabling nature with one of the kids (and when that child hits school age either the benefits are going to stop, or mom will have to go to work. unless she then claims that another child is disabled).

Yes, this is what I was getting at with my post above. Something is either not being disclosed to the OP and that something could either be totally legitimate or it could be a cheat of the system.

But in my experience, it is not the norm at all for people with 'average' lifestyles to be receiving any gov't assistance in the form of checks. There is NO subsidy for SAHMs to stay at home.

And for the record, I don't think there should be.

 

[rabx5]

I have 3 children. We raised our children without government help- Hubby worked days, I worked afternoons. Nuf said. We sacrificed our time together so we didn't have to pay for child care.

We both work days now, and have for quite a while, but now my youngest is15 years old.

It chaps my butt to know that while me and my family were sacrificing, the taxes I paid were used so parents could SAH If you are able to work, then by gosh you should. Nobody is entitled-

I'm sorry if I offended anybody, but it's just my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

People who can't afford to support kids shouldn't have them or expect my tax dollars to support them.

 

[pearlieq]

People who can't afford to support kids shouldn't have them or expect my tax dollars to support them.

That's about my viewpoint, with a couple of caveats. I'm willing to provide assistance for kids and parents faced with disabling medical issues. I'm willing to provide temporary support in crisis situations. But by and large, I expect folks with kids to provide for them independently.

Kids are luxury purchases, they are not an entitlement.

 

[#1hockeymom]

My own opinion is no. We had DD when I was 19. We did have a small house, Va loan. We had no cable/ no extras/ no going out. I worked nights, he worked days. We saw each other as we passed the one set of car keys to in one hand and the baby in the other. We had very little, qualified for a lot, but refused to take aid.

I'm glad we didn't. We wanted OUT of that situation and we worked hard to do it!

I do have one regret. I didn't go back to college until I was 30. I really wish we would have found a way to pay college tuition earlier.

 

[aprilgail2]

People who can't afford to support kids shouldn't have them or expect my tax dollars to support them.

I agree!!!
And if they do thave them they should not sit home on their butts and not working while my taxes go to paying them!!
I have a aquaintance that says "oh I am a SAHM" and everytime she says it I cringe, she is a NOT a SAHM in my book, she is a welfare mom...she is divorced and gets child support but not enough to be not working herself. She collects welfare and that is NOT a SAHM!!

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

I agree!!!
And if they do thave them they should not sit home on their butts and not working while my taxes go to paying them!!
I have a aquaintance that says "oh I am a SAHM" and everytime she says it I cringe, she is a NOT a SAHM in my book, she is a welfare mom...she is divorced and gets child support but not enough to be not working herself. She collects welfare and that is NOT a SAHM!!

Ah but she is a SAHM = a stay at home mooch!

 

[Nikel]

How about opening a home daycare? My Dh & I worked opposite shifts for 4 years. Rotating ones at that. Wasn't easy & we did pay some family members to fill in(wasn't cheap) the gaps when needed.

Because carrying extra insurance is affordable, right? Because I would not recommend anyone operating a daycare, home or otherwise, without completely covering their rear. Just as a photographer, in order to work at many wedding reception venues, I have to carry $1mil-$2mil in liability. And that's just to take pictures, not care for other people's infants and toddlers. And I, as a mother, would never ever in million years use a daycare where other family members could just fill in.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Originally Posted by delilah View Post
Not sure why, but technically, every SAHM, no matter what her hubby earns, is getting government assistance if her kids attend public school.

I think you are trying to make the point that the Property Tax bill for a school is generally less than the annual cost of educating children? I guess, but OTOH I will be paying property taxes on my house for far more many years than I will ever have children in the school district. Even during the years we've lived here, some years all my kids have been in the Public School and some years none of my children have been in the Public School.

By the same standards, I also drive on Public Roads, Use the Library, Participate in Park District events, and my son took a ride in the Fire Department Ambulance to go to the hospital. Those are all taxpayer supported and people use them at different levels.

I think most would agree their is a difference between Public Services available to the general public and Government Assitance.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think you are trying to make the point that the Property Tax bill for a school is generally less than the annual cost of educating children? I guess, but OTOH I will be paying property taxes on my house for far more many years than I will ever have children in the school district. Even during the years we've lived here, some years all my kids have been in the Public School and some years none of my children have been in the Public School.

By the same standards, I also drive on Public Roads, Use the Library, Participate in Park District events, and my son took a ride in the Fire Department Ambulance to go to the hospital. Those are all taxpayer supported and people use them at different levels.

I think most would agree their is a difference between Public Services available to the general public and Government Assitance.

True and not only that...it doesn't matter whether you SAH or WOTH, regardless of income, the property tax bill is the same and you still have the same right to send your child to school.

 

[Nikel]

Here's something that perplexes me. Why do some people look at daycare as having someone else raise your child but look at school as a place to get an education ?

As a homeschooler, I really couldn't say.

 

[DMickey28]

This is the post that caused me to ask ... it just rubbed me the wrong way after seeing other posts by this person.

"You and your hubby will work around the money situation. My hubby and I worried about that before ****** was born but I think we're actually doing much better now for some reason (and baby's are supposed to cost alot) We have some money from the state and I manage to budget and save coupons, shop at Goodwill, Salvation Army, other consignment shops, etc. It can be humbling, but so worth the time that's spent with your baby."

I guess every situations is different and I probably jump to conclusions. I admit to being judgemental sometimes ... it's my character flaw.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Because carrying extra insurance is affordable, right? Because I would not recommend anyone operating a daycare, home or otherwise, without completely covering their rear. Just as a photographer, in order to work at many wedding reception venues, I have to carry $1mil-$2mil in liability. And that's just to take pictures, not care for other people's infants and toddlers. And I, as a mother, would never ever in million years use a daycare where other family members could just fill in.

I'm not saying I opened a home day care. I'm saying someone could open a home daycare to earn extra money if they could not go out of the home to work..
I used family to fill in for care of MY children while I worked outside my home. I have never nor would I ever watch other peoples children . You clearly misread my post.