Baby Problem

[Hannathy]

I'm not uncomfortable with it, it's just heartbreaking to listen to. And Mama's time to herself is used doing errands, not anything fun.

then she takes the baby with her or does them when it is asleep at night and you are there.

Only thing I can think of that you would need to not take the baby is dentist or Dr and you can't have those every single week

Sorry you wanted a kid you deal with what it needs.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I'm not uncomfortable with it, it's just heartbreaking to listen to. And Mama's time to herself is used doing errands, not anything fun.

When you're a mom running errands alone IS fun (and a treat I should add).

 

[crayon3448]

When you're a mom running errands alone IS fun (and a treat I should add).

Yes! There was free baby sitting offered by the teens at our church last Saturday night. I joked to DH that we should go to a strip mall and just get out of the car, go into a store then get back in the car, repeatedly, without the hassle of lugging DD in and out of the car. That sounds so blissful. It is definitely not a once or twice a week occurrence here.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm not uncomfortable with it, it's just heartbreaking to listen to. .

Actually you are or you wouldn't be putting a screaming child in a crib and walking away.

If it didn't bother you you would be holding her or sitting on the floor with her or pushing her in a stroller or her swing, etc in other words interacting with her and being in the same room with her.

It's ok to say it bothers you and I don't blame you and that is why the Mother needs to stop leaving you in this position.

 

[crayon3448]

It's ok to say it bothers you and I don't blame you and that is why the Mother needs to stop leaving you in this position.

This is exactly what I was trying to say.

 

[ChitownFamily]

I mean I live with them. When Mama takes a shower or needs a nap, we always play and everything is fine and dandy. The first hour or so when Mama is gone is always fine, it's just when she realizes that Mama isn't coming right back there's an issue.

And I've tried just getting her interested in other stuff when Mama isn't there, but she just crawls over to me, pulls herself up, and screams in my face.

This bolded is an odd statement. As someone else mentioned babies do not have concept of time or even of "object permanence" The idea that mom is out of sight but coming back. (That's why we play peek a boo with babies, it's a fun silly game, but they learn object permanence from it)
Has this pattern developed over time? Or from birth?

I worked in infant child care. I was shocked to learn that there are some babies who could literally cry & scream all day. BUT many of those babies started crying at drop off & never stopped. Rarely did i have a baby get dropped off, fine for an hour & then be sad for the rest of day (consistently)
This tells me something- the time that she is calm, you are calm, (maybe relaxed) playing with her. Then something must happen to break the engagement. Do you follow the mother's routine strictly? What is triggering the crying? Do she have a favorite activity, that you could do? like bath time or feeding, or snuggling? something just isn't making adding up for me. if she is familiar with you & bonded to you, this shouldn't be occurring every time you watch her... if you wrote & said the first 30 mins are filled with crying and then...That scenario makes sense. but flipped, it doesn't add up.

She does love being worn. I don't know what the thing that Mama wears is called, but that is what we take when we go to church.

And walking will probably be an option soon, but I'm in PA, and right now that doesn't seem like the best idea. Though I think the worst of the storms are over.

Why don't you wear her? Have mom show you how to wear her.

 

[Art 1]

First off, a 7 month old has no concept on time. Her mother (I beg of you to stop using "mama") being away for 10 minutes or 10 hours is all the same to a baby that young.

I'm guessing providing child care is part of your living arrangements. Those of us who are mother's all had days where nothing would make our babies happy but we just had to power through it. Take her for a walk, read to her, watch a video, give her a bath, etc. Leaving a baby to cry for hours isn't acceptable if it isn't your child. I don't think it's ever ok but that's a parent's right.

What is wrong with mama?

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

What is wrong with mama?

Nothing if you're a child. But it IS a little strange that the poster KEEPS using that as a title for the baby's mother. But maybe that's how she talks who knows.

 

[ChitownFamily]

Actually you are or you wouldn't be putting a screaming child in a crib and walking away.

If it didn't bother you you would be holding her or sitting on the floor with her or pushing her in a stroller or her swing, etc in other words interacting with her and being in the same room with her.

It's ok to say it bothers you and I don't blame you and that is why the Mother needs to stop leaving you in this position.

AMEN! you are not an awful person for telling mom, NO! As the child continues to grow up, she will bond more & more with you...eventually things should get better when mom leaves. Until then, don't stress yourself out OR the BABY! The baby is seriously stressed out!

 

[tml1270]

I totally agree with this poster! If the mom has a problem with how the babe is being cared for she can find someone else!

I just wanted to say that while putting her in her crib may not be ideal, it is absolutely the smartest, most caring thing you can do if you find yourself getting frustrated, angry etc. After hearing all the statements about how mean you are and furious others would be if it were their child, I just wanted to put that out there. I'm a counselor and I 100% believe that a good amount of child abuse that occurs with babies especially is due to the fact that ppl. don't know what to do or that ppl. don't think it's okay for a baby to cry and therefore become extremely overwhelmed and frustrated etc. Not saying that would happen to anyone here, but I think it's important to have that and know that putting a baby in a crib safely is a safe acceptable solution during those times.

Op, I'd talk to the parents and see what they think about the constant crying and see if you can try to deal with it a way that they prefer.

 

[JennyKS]

Keep trying! You'll eventually find something that will distract her or make her laugh. My daughter who is 8 has a different father and my son (9 months old) LOVES watching a video of her talking to him on my iphone. He is teething right now so sometimes he is just a miserable little baby but as soon as I play that 30 second video and he hears her voice, all smiles. He reaches for that phone and just stares. Sometimes I play that video 10 times before he seems normal again.

 

[BlovesC]

Clearly I'm hung up on the wrong thing here, but do you actually call this woman "Mama" in person, too?

 

[FlyingDumbo]

Clearly I'm hung up on the wrong thing here, but do you actually call this woman "Mama" in person, too?

something a bit odd here.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

This bolded is an odd statement. As someone else mentioned babies do not have concept of time or even of "object permanence" The idea that mom is out of sight but coming back. (That's why we play peek a boo with babies, it's a fun silly game, but they learn object permanence from it)
Has this pattern developed over time? Or from birth?

I worked in infant child care. I was shocked to learn that there are some babies who could literally cry & scream all day. BUT many of those babies started crying at drop off & never stopped. Rarely did i have a baby get dropped off, fine for an hour & then be sad for the rest of day (consistently)
This tells me something- the time that she is calm, you are calm, (maybe relaxed) playing with her. Then something must happen to break the engagement. Do you follow the mother's routine strictly? What is triggering the crying? Do she have a favorite activity, that you could do? like bath time or feeding, or snuggling? something just isn't making adding up for me. if she is familiar with you & bonded to you, this shouldn't be occurring every time you watch her... if you wrote & said the first 30 mins are filled with crying and then...That scenario makes sense. but flipped, it doesn't add up.

Why don't you wear her? Have mom show you how to wear her.

I know everything she likes to do, I know her favorite snacks, I know what she doesn't like, etc. I have no idea why she acts that way after mama's gone for awhile and not right away, that's just how she is. They've only lived with me since baby was six months old, before that the same thing would happen when grandma watched her.

I totally agree with this poster! If the mom has a problem with how the babe is being cared for she can find someone else!

Mama doesn't have a problem with it.

Clearly I'm hung up on the wrong thing here, but do you actually call this woman "Mama" in person, too?

Not unless I'm talking to the baby and talking about her.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Maybe I misunderstood, but it certainly didn't sound like the OP stated that she left the child in the crib screaming for 9 hrs??? Obviously there's a difference between using the crib as the "babysitter" and using it as a safe place while the adult takes a break. Having said that, like I stated before for everyone's safety it's important for ppl. to understand that it is perfectly acceptable to put a crying baby in a crib while you take a break.

I agree, but for some reason it sounds like OP is putting her in a crib for a long time. I think it's fine to do if you're becoming frustrated, but every time? OP, can you tell us how long the baby is in the crib crying?

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I agree, but for some reason it sounds like OP is putting her in a crib for a long time. I think it's fine to do if you're becoming frustrated, but every time? OP, can you tell us how long the baby is in the crib crying?

The other day mama was gone for three hours, baby was in crib for maybe an hour and half of that, and every half hour or so I would get her out for a few minutes and try to calm her down.

 

[Liberty Belle]

The other day mama was gone for three hours, baby was in crib for maybe an hour and half of that, and every half hour or so I would get her out for a few minutes and try to calm her down.

That seems like too much time to me. I think the mom needs to take the child with her or help you come up with other ideas.

 

[JanaDee]

The other day mama was gone for three hours, baby was in crib for maybe an hour and half of that, and every half hour or so I would get her out for a few minutes and try to calm her down.

That is too much time alone in the crib. The mother needs to take the baby with her.

 

[Hannathy]

The suggested time out time for a child is a minute for every year because of their short attention spans, and understanding of time ( not sure how to say this properly) You are putting a baby into a crib isolated like a time out for 90 minutes!!! that is incredible. Even for 30 minutes is way way to long.

This is not working. This is terrible for the poor poor baby.
Something has to change. If nothing else you can't be putting her into the crib alone for hours. Put her in a play seat or hold her or a blanket on the floor in whatever room you are in but you can not isolate this poor child. Plus a baby needs stimulated to develop properly and laying alone in a crib is not doing it!

I applaud you for coming here and asking for help, that took courage and shows you want to do what is best for this child BUT putting her in a crib, isolated is not the right thing.

I sincerely think Mom needs to not go anywhere not absolutely necessary until she grows out of this. It won't last for ever.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Doesn't the baby nap twice a day? Can't the mom run her errand during that time?