Baby Problem

[disneyfav4ever]

I have a problem with a little one who is seven months old. I will watch her when her mama does errands, which range from her being out for an hour or two, to nine hours being the longest time I was alone with baby.

Here's the problem; baby will scream her head off for mama from the time she realizes mama is gone until mama gets back. She'll usually be good for 30 to 45 minutes, then look for mama, realize she's not there, and the next few hours become torture. My only solution so far has been to put her in her crib when she starts crying and just check on her often.

I live with them, so the baby is completely used to me, and when mama's home we're best friends, and she always wants my attention and to play with me, so it's not an issue of the baby not liking me or knowing who I am. She just loves her mama!

ETA - I only resorted to trying to put the baby in her crib one of the times Mama was gone, it hasn't been a repeated occurrence.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I have a seven month old and I don't think I'd want her just put in her crib to cry alone with a few check ins for who knows how long. Is the mother okay with this technique?

I am totally fine with the "cry it out" technique if an older baby is not sleeping through the night, but this doesn't sound like an overnight scenario. I never needed to use it on my daughter because she has been a great sleeper.

Assuming the baby isn't hungry or has a dirty diaper...can you try distracting her? A song and dance around the room does wonders for my daughter when she is cranky.

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[BadgerGirl84]

I have a problem with a little one who is seven months old. I will watch her when her mama does errands, which range from her being out for an hour or two, to nine hours being the longest time I was alone with baby. Here's the problem; baby will scream her head off for mama from the time she realizes mama is gone until mama gets back. She'll usually be good for 30 to 45 minutes, then look for mama, realize she's not there, and the next few hours become torture. My only solution so far has been to put her in her crib when she starts crying and just check on her often. I live with them, so the baby is completely used to me, and when mama's home we're best friends, and she always wants my attention and to play with me, so it's not an issue of the baby not liking me or knowing who I am. She just loves her mama!

Sorry--the rule.

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[Christine]

Sounds like the baby has a pretty severe case of separation anxiety and I'm not sure there's much to do about it but try to distract her.

I remember one time babysitting my good friend's baby. The baby knew me well and we were fine together so long as her mother was there. I babysat for 3 hours one time and the girl screamed her head off for 3 hours straight. I was also babysitting her brother, who was older, and he was just begging her to stop crying. It was awful. I didn't know what to do so we all sat on the couch, I propped her up so she could look out the window for her mother to come home and we listened to that for three hours. I did try to read her books or play with toys but she was having none of it.

 

[goofinoff]

I have a seven month old and I don't think I'd want her just put in her crib to cry alone with a few check ins for who knows how long. Is the mother okay with this technique? I am totally fine with the "cry it out" technique if an older baby is not sleeping through the night, but this doesn't sound like an overnight scenario. I never needed to use it on my daughter because she has been a great sleeper. Assuming the baby isn't hungry or has a dirty diaper...can you try distracting her? A song and dance around the room does wonders for my daughter when she is cranky. Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

I totally agree. I would be furious if I knew my baby was screaming in her crib for hours on end. Have you talked to the mom to tell her that this is a difficult situation for you? Maybe you could tag along with the mom on her errands to help her out with the baby or maybe mom could schedule some of these errands around baby's nap time. I think you need to communicate the issue to the baby's mom.

 

[Hannathy]

I have a problem with a little one who is seven months old. I will watch her when her mama does errands, which range from her being out for an hour or two, to nine hours being the longest time I was alone with baby.

Here's the problem; baby will scream her head off for mama from the time she realizes mama is gone until mama gets back. She'll usually be good for 30 to 45 minutes, then look for mama, realize she's not there, and the next few hours become torture. My only solution so far has been to put her in her crib when she starts crying and just check on her often.

I live with them, so the baby is completely used to me, and when mama's home we're best friends, and she always wants my attention and to play with me, so it's not an issue of the baby not liking me or knowing who I am. She just loves her mama!

Have you told the Mother? Does she know what you do to "solve" it?

And just how long are you leaving her in her crib to cry? Wow. Hopefully not long.

Have you tried taking her on a walk before the mother leaves and then coming back and keep her distracted? Or the opposite, letting her see Mom leave with Mom saying bye and have fun with "Minnie" I'll be back soon, hugs and kisses, and then having her return fairly quickly?

Try taking care of her with the mother home but out of sight

I think you need to do more active solutins than putting her in her crib.

 

[luvsJack]

Try switching up who is leaving who. Before its time for mom to go out to run errands, you and baby leave going on a walk or for a ride or to the park or something. And then come back after Mom is gone.

Let her wave bye-bye to Mom and give hugs and kisses.

Its separation anxiety and crying in her crib is NOT going to help the situation.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

I don't think putting her in a crib is very comforting. It's kind of mean. Does her mom my know you do this? Now she associates her mom leaving with her being left alone in a crib for hours. I'd cry too I would suggest a new babysitter, since this does not seem to be working out for either of you.

 

[JanaDee]

Sounds like Mom should take the baby with her until the separation anxiety passes.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Mama knows I've resorted to putting her in the crib when the screaming gets insane.

Another sitter or daycare really isn't an option due to cost.

Errands with all three of us are easier, but it's not always time effective for either of us. I try and do the majority of the household errands, like grocery shopping, alone, but that's not always an option.

And her taking the baby with her is usually doable, but for instance, the last time they went to the dentist the baby started screaming her head off when mama had tons of stuff in her mouth, and all the dental assistants tried calming baby, but again, she just wanted mama.

And I know she chose to have the baby, and she's her responsibility, but the few hours she has to herself, which is usually only once or twice a week, she really appreciates.

 

[brockash]

I just wanted to say that while putting her in her crib may not be ideal, it is absolutely the smartest, most caring thing you can do if you find yourself getting frustrated, angry etc. After hearing all the statements about how mean you are and furious others would be if it were their child, I just wanted to put that out there. I'm a counselor and I 100% believe that a good amount of child abuse that occurs with babies especially is due to the fact that ppl. don't know what to do or that ppl. don't think it's okay for a baby to cry and therefore become extremely overwhelmed and frustrated etc. Not saying that would happen to anyone here, but I think it's important to have that and know that putting a baby in a crib safely is a safe acceptable solution during those times.

Op, I'd talk to the parents and see what they think about the constant crying and see if you can try to deal with it a way that they prefer.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I do agree a break is nice for mom however the baby is having pretty severe separation anxiety.

Putting her in the crib while she screams is not an effective way to deal with it unless you are feeling overwhelmed as a PP noted. A crying baby for hours on end is not a good thing for you or the baby.

I would put my foot down and tell her that unless it is a medical appt., job interview, etc. she needs to take the baby with her.

 

[wiigirl]

I totally agree. I would be furious if I knew my baby was screaming in her crib for hours on end. Have you talked to the mom to tell her that this is a difficult situation for you? Maybe you could tag along with the mom on her errands to help her out with the baby or maybe mom could schedule some of these errands around baby's nap time. I think you need to communicate the issue to the baby's mom.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I just wanted to say that while putting her in her crib may not be ideal, it is absolutely the smartest, most caring thing you can do if you find yourself getting frustrated, angry etc. After hearing all the statements about how mean you are and furious others would be if it were their child, I just wanted to put that out there. I'm a counselor and I 100% believe that a good amount of child abuse that occurs with babies especially is due to the fact that ppl. don't know what to do or that ppl. don't think it's okay for a baby to cry and therefore become extremely overwhelmed and frustrated etc. Not saying that would happen to anyone here, but I think it's important to have that and know that putting a baby in a crib safely is a safe acceptable solution during those times.

Op, I'd talk to the parents and see what they think about the constant crying and see if you can try to deal with it a way that they prefer.

I agree. The reality is it can be extremely stressful and frustrating to have a baby crying for hours and nothing you do stops it. At a certain point it is better to put the child in a crib to cry it out and take time for yourself.

 

[mjkacmom]

I just wanted to say that while putting her in her crib may not be ideal, it is absolutely the smartest, most caring thing you can do if you find yourself getting frustrated, angry etc. After hearing all the statements about how mean you are and furious others would be if it were their child, I just wanted to put that out there. I'm a counselor and I 100% believe that a good amount of child abuse that occurs with babies especially is due to the fact that ppl. don't know what to do or that ppl. don't think it's okay for a baby to cry and therefore become extremely overwhelmed and frustrated etc. Not saying that would happen to anyone here, but I think it's important to have that and know that putting a baby in a crib safely is a safe acceptable solution during those times.

Op, I'd talk to the parents and see what they think about the constant crying and see if you can try to deal with it a way that they prefer.

I agree. I admit that I have given myself a time-out, and put babies and toddlers in their cribs, while I took a much needed breather (sat on the front porch for 5 - 10 minutes, took a shower...). However, this was so I could take some deep breaths, and come up with a plan, and stop pulling my hair out.

OP, if you can't handle the baby, tell the mom. As a parent, I would definitely want to know - there were many times I became frustrated, and was thankful that these were my babies, who I loved with all my heart, because that is the reason I could get through the tough times.

 

[luvsJack]

If Mom wants to try and help her dd through the anxiety, she needs to look at some child development books or on the internet for suggestions and she can try different things.

There are ways if the two of you want to work together to get baby through this. She just needs that reassurance that Mommy is coming back.

In child care, we went through this with kids a lot. The baby leaving Mom instead of the other way around helped a lot (grandma or grandpa would bring the baby to the center). Other ways were playing games with the baby to show her that Mommy always comes back. And sometimes they just had to cry some, but always with someone near by and giving them hugs and reassurance that Mommy wasn't coming back.

Its just a stage and it will pass.

 

[akcire]

Not sure where your located. Or the temperature at the moment.

Anytime I have a little kid left with me that is crying. I first go with the obvious butt, belly, etc. If all signs are good and the kids just crying. I pop them in the stroller and walk. I walk and walk and walk. Normally within 3 blocks no more crying. I'm guessing by then kid forgets I'm not mom. If all is quiet I will walk a long time. Sometimes they will fall asleep but that's not the goal.

I agree I wouldn't want my kid screaming in a crib for hours, but at the same time it is perfectly acceptable to put a baby in a crib if you need a short break.

Another thing to consider OP is wearing the baby. At 7 months my daughter loved to be in the carrier facing out.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Not sure where your located. Or the temperature at the moment.

Anytime I have a little kid left with me that is crying. I first go with the obvious butt, belly, etc. If all signs are good and the kids just crying. I pop them in the stroller and walk. I walk and walk and walk. Normally within 3 blocks no more crying. I'm guessing by then kid forgets I'm not mom. If all is quiet I will walk a long time. Sometimes they will fall asleep but that's not the goal.

I agree I wouldn't want my kid screaming in a crib for hours, but at the same time it is perfectly acceptable to put a baby in a crib if you need a short break.

Another thing to consider OP is wearing the baby. At 7 months my daughter loved to be in the carrier facing out.

She does love being worn. I don't know what the thing that Mama wears is called, but that is what we take when we go to church.

And walking will probably be an option soon, but I'm in PA, and right now that doesn't seem like the best idea. Though I think the worst of the storms are over.

 

[Mrs.Malone]

Like others have mentioned, you absolutely must do what you need to do, like putting the baby in the crib for a little while, so that you can keep your cool. Putting the child in the crib to scream for her mommy will not ease the separation anxiety and in fact will probably make it worse, but you have to give yourself a chance to breathe. If it's a situation that's happening regularly and just won't stop, and the baby is spending hours crying in the crib and/or you're getting overwhelmed, you must put an end to it by telling Mom things just aren't working out and you can't watch the baby until the phase passes. Simple as that.

Separation anxiety is a normal and actually very healthy sign of good bonding between a parent and child. It's really not natural for babies to be handed off from one caretaker to another. Their natural survival instinct is to cry for the person who provides for their needs most regularly to ensure the greatest chance for continuing to get their needs met. They do learn to trust others over time. If you could try having the baby every day for a while for a little bit more time each day, maybe that would help.

 

[Wild One]

I would try and rock the baby and hold it instead of just putting it in a crib and letting it cry.