Autism--Questions.....

[Luv Bunnies]

My son has Asperger's and has been known to disrupt his class a time or two (ok, lots of times).

It's important to understand that mainstreaming is the wave of the future. You're going to be seeing many, many more special needs kids placed in mainstream classes. It can be a difficult situation for the child, the parents and the teacher when it doesn't work out. But school districts aren't likely to change the placement very quickly. They want to give it every chance to work out.

When a child with identified special needs turns 3, their home school district is required to provide them with an appropriate education. It's also important to understand that it probably took an entire team of people many hours of meetings to choose that placement for that child. They probably considered a special class, home services or a mainstream school with an aide. There might even be a combination of services in place for the child (speech, occupational therapy, behavioral therapy).

I think you need to give the situation time to work itself out. Perhaps the aide is just getting used to the child and his habits. And, there's no way an aide can "control" a child. What they need to do is learn to anticipate his triggers, try to head them off and react to behaviors appropriately. The aide will most likely work with the teacher to determine how to best handle his various behaviors. It might mean taking him outside at various times, giving him sensory objects or rewards for good behavior. If he just started school for the first time, he's going through lots of transitions. It may take him several weeks or months to settle in. And he may do very well. He just needs to be given the chance.

I understand when parents are concerned about their child's class being disrupted. We all want our kids to have every opportunity to learn. But kids will likely encounter many, many different types of classmates over their school careers. It's never too early for them to learn to get along in different types of environments with all kinds of kids. If the child is being noisy, I would give him some time to settle in. It would be a different situation if the child was being injurious to others - hitting, biting, kicking, throwing things. Then I would definitely bring it up to the adminstration. Otherwise, you can be assured that many people are watching the situation very closely.

 

[eeyorefan74]

Wow, from some of the previous responses, this certainly seems to be a hot button issue. I think the PP was just expressing a valid concern for her child's education, and not making any judgment about the autistic child at all. PP, I don't think you came across as narrow-minded. Actually, quite the opposite, as you described your first reaction to learning about the autistic child and having your child learn about differences.

I have a friend with 2 autistic children, so I've seen her struggles with school, and believe me, it's not easy. But in every situation, while looking out for their needs, she is always incredibly concerned that they aren't causing a problem for anyone else. Most small, private schools just aren't set up for a severely autistic child's special needs, though I'm sure there are exceptions. That being said, the fact that he has an aide is good, and maybe he's just going through an adjustment process. He's learning about the school routine, and the aide is learning about his needs. In any case, I don't think there's any harm in discussing this with the teacher, telling her what your DD has said, and getting some clarification. Good parent/teacher communication is absolutely essential to a great education, and the more you know about what's going on and how it's being addressed, the better you'll feel.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

I agree with prior posters with regard to some issues.

First off, you haven't witnessed any of the behavior first hand - it could be that whoever informed you is the narrow-minded one, and things aren't at all as s/he reported. For all you know, your child or her child is being 'disruptive' also - I mean, they're kids.

Like mentioned many times before - the school year just started. It can take months for even non-issue kids to become adjusted to a new room, new stimulus, other kids, etc. So even if you do observe some disruptive behavior, unless it's violent, I think it's fair to allow this child several more weeks to settle in.

I would be very concerned about the school and its policies in general, if this child's autism is common knowledge and an open for discussion topic.

Also, like someone already mentioned - if this child is autistic, you can be sure there were many qualified minds involved in the decision to place him in that classroom. If it's not a good match - which could be possible - it's not going to be something that changes at the drop of a hat unless the parents decide to pull the child out for personal reasons.

 

[Kriii]

My thought is that the school is doing a disservice to the child with autism by accepting him into the program but not providing any appropriate interventions. Nothing wrong with inclusion but including him without giving him the type of structure and interventions he needs will hurt his ability to develop in the long run.

 

[kcromley]

another thing to consider is asking to visit other preschools. It may reassure you if a similar level of chaos is found in all preschool classes and will in any event keep you informed as to what all your options are. More information is always good.

 

[badblackpug]

Well, I'm just curious about what others think if this situation.

My dd3 just started preschool this week in a small private school. There happens to be an autistic child in her class. Apparently, the child started the year last year, but did not continue (I don't know why). He is back this year and apparently spends the entire class session yelling, refusing to join in class activities, throwing tantrums, and disrupting the class. This is a Montessori school where the students are expected to work somewhat quietly and independently or in small groups and there are very prescribed ways to use the materials and only after the teacher introduces them.

The school does not have any other publicly identified "special needs" students and the teachers are not special education teachers. The student is supposed to be accompanied by an aide (and is), but apparently this person isn't able to handle the situation either. Apparently, he has been very distracting to the other children and requires a great deal of the teacher's time.

When I hear that an autistic child would be in my dd's class, my initial reaction was very positive. First of all, autistic children can be all over the spectrum and I assumed he would probably be high-functioning to be placed in this kind of environment. I also thought it would be helpful to my own dd to understand that there are many different kinds of kids in the world.

However, we are paying a lot of tuition to send my dd here and we want her to have the best experience possible--one where the calm, quiet environment that we have selected for our child is not disrupted (nor is the attention of the teacher).

So, my question is----when should I say something? I want to respect this child's right to a Least Restrictive Environment, but not at the expense of my own child's education (nor at my tuition's expense).

What to do....what are other's thoughts? Am I being narrow minded?

While I understand that this is a hotbed topic, more for some than others, considering recent news media, I think that lot's of folks are being unfair to the OP. Please read the post, she never, once, said anything about having the child removed from the class. (for all anyone knows, it is her child she wants to remove) ...and she does ask WHEN she should say something. I may be reading into it, but that indicates to me that she seems to understand that there may be a "period of adjustment." I agree with the PP's that she should observe the class firsthand, if she hasn't already. As for the school making it publicly known that the child has autism, that may not be the case. Maybe the child's parents have spoken to other parents about it. These things do have a way of getting around.

I do understand the OP's point, though. While it still may be too early in the school year to judge (but maybe there is a certain time period during which she can withdraw her child and receive a refund) she has a point. Of course all children have the right to an education, but, what happens when that right infringes on another child's education? This is doubly compounded in a private school. as in "Why am I paying X amount of dollars for an X education when that is not what my child is receiving." I think any parent would be concerned if their child's education was being hampered by another child, regardless of the circumstances.

The OP is just being a parent. She is looking out for the best interest of her child, that is what all parents do. No one child's right to a good education is superceeded by another. That goes for both sides of the coin.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Of course all children have the right to an education, but, what happens when that right infringes on another child's education? This is doubly compounded in a private school. as in "Why am I paying X amount of dollars for an X education when that is not what my child is receiving." I think any parent would be concerned if their child's education was being hampered by another child, regardless of the circumstances.

For me, the solution seems simple - I'd move my child to another school, rather than wondering what the school was going to do to make sure my child got my money's worth. That may seem like an overly simply reduction, but when you strip the issue down, it's a case of not being satisfied with a service. If that's the case, take your business elsewhere.

 

[MightyMom]

The OP is just being a parent. She is looking out for the best interest of her child, that is what all parents do. No one child's right to a good education is superceeded by another. That goes for both sides of the coin.

This is exactly the root of the problem.... and unfortunately there is no solution that will make EVERYONE happy.

All children have the right to a quality education.... but there are ALWAYS going to be distractions and hurdles children have to face. Some children's hurdles are much greater than any "average" child will ever have to face.

The OP clearly cares for her child and strives to provide a quality education. The parent's of the child with autism must also care for their child as they are also paying tuition for his education.

It's such a difficult situation.... and clearly, depending on our own personal experiences.... we all react to the situation differently.

 

[AmyBWV99]

When a child with identified special needs turns 3, their home school district is required to provide them with an appropriate education. It's also important to understand that it probably took an entire team of people many hours of meetings to choose that placement for that child. They probably considered a special class, home services or a mainstream school with an aide. There might even be a combination of services in place for the child (speech, occupational therapy, behavioral therapy).

I think you need to give the situation time to work itself out. Perhaps the aide is just getting used to the child and his habits. And, there's no way an aide can "control" a child. What they need to do is learn to anticipate his triggers, try to head them off and react to behaviors appropriately.QUOTE]

I am the parent of a special needs child and a non-special needs (i won't say 'normal' b/c what's that anyway) child so i'm on both sides of the fence per se. We have a very similar situation with our school distict as well. They are more than happy to come out and observe and give the teachers recommendations as well as work with the aides which they maybe doing already.

I agree that observing would be a good place to start if even for just a couple hours. We will also be sending our special needs 3 year old to Montessori in our area as well after much thought and visiting. He isn't Autisic but has severe congential Hydrocepholus, he doesn't have many behavioral issues more than anyone else his age but does have physical limitations due to low tone issues on one side. He has been in a 'conventional' preschool program until this year when we felt he needed something different. All of his PTs & OTs have been more than willing to come out observe and help. When we went thru a biting phase the OT made suggestions and ordered him a chewie tube and that took care of itself, he had trouble transitioning from loud to quiet sit still. It could be that the parents just haven't gotten someone to help them sound out whatever is going on to get things moving in a more positive direction.

I DO NOT think you're being narrow minded you seem perfectly open to the child being a part of the class as a whole. I can tell you that I DO NOT feel that either of my children whatever their learning environment deserve to have constant interuptions and chaos even if it's them causing it. That doesn't make it acceptable to me or for the others it may hinder from getting the full benefit of thier educational experience.

 

[badblackpug]

For me, the solution seems simple - I'd move my child to another school, rather than wondering what the school was going to do to make sure my child got my money's worth. That may seem like an overly simply reduction, but when you strip the issue down, it's a case of not being satisfied with a service. If that's the case, take your business elsewhere.

Exactly. But in some circumstances the tuition is not refundable. I am sure I would be upset if I was promised a certain type of education, paid for that type of education and my child did not receive that education, regardless of the reason why. As a matter of fact, my kids go to public school, although I don't pay tuition I pay ridiculous property tax to ensure that my children receive a quality education. If they, for some reason, were not receiving that eduation, I would want to know why, and what is going to be done to change that.

 

[wilderness01]

My daughter had a severe autistic child in her 5th grade class that screamed all day long. After 10 days I went in to talk with the teacher. Unfortunately the teacher's hands were tied and there was nothing she could do about this. She said the child was being pushed in the class because the parents wanted him to advance with his normal age group. His aide was teaching him A,B,C's and writing. Not 5th grade work as the rest of the class was doing per the teacher.

Although I think every child has just as much right to be in a classroom, it was upsetting to me that my child was being distracted by the screaming. The teacher said the child would be allowed to play his music and roam the class starting the next day so that should settle him down. I said to her "and that won't be distracting to the rest of the class?" I was upset.

Our best friend's child has low functioning autism and is now at a special school because he is unable to be mainstreamed any longer. I did call her and asked her opinion as she has been on that side of the fence. She asked me the child's name and when I said it, she stated "that child is so low functioning, there is no way he should be mainstreamed." I felt better hearing that from her and didn't want to seem uncaring or mean.

So my solution? I moved my child. I wanted a better environment for her and I got it. My kids are not insensitive as we teach acceptance for all people, but I wasn't willing to compromise the whole year of learning for her because one person's needs outweighed everyone else's needs. I understand that the child couldn't help the screaming but it was screaming and disruptive just the same resulting in a lack of learning. I'm sure some days could have been better than others, but I wasn't willing to take that chance. My friend's son was in his class a few years back and she said the screaming went on all year long and was very disruptive. She said her son had a hard time learning and he never struggled in school. Sad for everyone involved really.

Flame away if you would like. My friend understood and actually encouraged me to move my child so at least someone close to me, who knew the kind of person I was, didn't judge me and agreed with me.

 

[cruellababy]

yes, you should say something-nicely. That is how my DH and I found out that our 7 yo Ds was Autistic. I wasn't told nicely; and I was pregnant @ the time- it created for an entirely too dramatic episode when I needed it the least. Well; let's just sumise to say that that idiot teacher isn't there anymore and that she has since been refused other positions in the catholic pre-school system. Anyway, My DS now will be entering the 2nd grade- for the main classes he is now mainstreamed. It took major therapies from the school district @ pre-school and the early elementary level; we also payed for many extra sessions of therapies OOP. And I am so glad that I live in an enlightened state- NY that has some of the best Autism programs thru the public school system to diagnose and treat and educate these kids in the best environment possible. So sad some of you live in backwards states that really don't care about the Autistic kids or the regular kids. Stinks to be the mom with the kid in the 5th grade class deal- too irritating in the writing style and I couldn't finish reading it all.

 

[DVCJones]

This is a great suggestion. It sounds like the autistic child's sensory needs aren't being met, so he's unable to keep calm and attend to activities. Our younger dd is 3 and mildly autistic and is starting special ed preschool. I can't imagine her in a regular preschool right now. It would be over-stimulating and frustrating. BTW, I don't think you're narrow minded.

I don't think you are being narrow minded at all. I think your concerns are valid. I think we can all agree that autisim has a wide spectrum.Some autistic children can thrive in a typical school setting. Quite often though, many cannot. My concern is that this particular child might need something more than this school can offer. I think that it is the parents responsibility to research schools that best meet their child's needs. It does not sound as this child's needs are being met and the rest of the class is being disrupted.I am sure the school is doing the best they can, however, at the end of the day, some children need more and a school specializing in the needs of autistic children may be best. I have seen children attend special schools only to return to the public schools once they learned coping/behavior skills. It often takes several years, but it is amazing the progress that can be made in the right setting. I feel for all you parents of autistic children. Parenting is never easy and even harder when you have an autistic child.

 

[kcromley]

I am glad you found a system that worked for you, poster cruella baby, but I don't think you should criticize other states without any knowledge. As a former NY public school product, I can assure you that many other states do as fine, or sometimes a better job, at education than NYS, in both the general and special education departments. It all depends upon which particular school and district you are in and the resources available at that time. Let's keep the conversation positive and helpful.