At what age do you stop taking your adult child on vacation?

[Melany502]

I'd take him. It sucks being the oldest and feeling left out. I was the oldest and my mom never took me (in my late teens) and it still bugs me now that I am older and have a family of my own.

 

[lovin'fl]

OP...love this thread because I am under similar circumstances. I have only read the original post because I was so excited to reply...will have to go back and read entire thread.

My kids are DS-18 (senior) and twin DDs-16 (sophomores). My DS had been griping a lot on the past few vacations about how boring it was and 'why couldn't we leave him home'. Our Xmas 2013 trip to WDW was MISERABLE due to his griping and complaining...MISERABLE. Then, like child birth, we forgot the pain and took he and his GF to Disney's HHI resort this past summer. While it was better since he had his GF, they still complained since it wasn't all commercialized like OC MD is and they couldn't walk a busy boardwalk late at night...so they were bored. But they enjoyed the sleeping and eating and the beach so most of the time they were okay.

Now we are planning our 2015 vacays and he informs us that he wants to go to WDW and bring his GF because she has never been. They will both be 18.5 and can do their own thing. So I booked our trip for Aug and added them to the resie (we are DVC so I got us a 2BR villa...well booked it separate as a 1BR and a studio, long story as to why). DH, DDs and I all have APs but DS does not. So I will have to get he and his GF park hoppers and we're doing 2 days at US so I'll have to get those tix too. And I will pay for meals (we do a lot of TS at WDW). We are driving, so no airfare to worry about but hotels to/from will be interesting with 6 of us. The 2 of them are adding lots of cost to our trip...uggghh (but it's knid of a graduation present to them). I feel, and I have told him, it's the last trip I plan around our family of 5. In the future it will be 4 of us as he will be an adult and have his own crazy schedule and life. If he can join us on some other trips, fine but we can't take his life/schedule into consideration anymore (it's tough enough, currently, with all 3 kids in HS).

I also booked a cruise for DH's Xmas present (for Thanksgiving week). He has been wanting to go on a cruise. I booked it for Thanksgiving week since my DDs are heavily involved in travel softball and they have very limited time when they can vacay. They always have Thanksgiving week off from school and softball. But DS will be in college and not have that whole week off. So I just booked the 4 of us. He, just today, griped about not being included. I swear I think they will gripe about anything no matter what you do...if you book them they gripe that they don't want to go and if you don't book them they gripe that they want to go...WTH!!!!

So, I am going with my plans and not stressing. He has a whole lifetime of vacations ahead of him. We are including him and his GF in on our Aug trip to WDW. I will include him when I can but I can no longer accommodate his schedule. I also look forward to the day, not too far from now, when it will be just DH and I vacationing alone. I will still love to get my adult kids together on vacations with us every now and then. Curious to see what others have to say.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

With our older children, if they want to, if they are able to, they are welcome and wanted.

This is kind of where we are. DH and I take a trip or two a year that is just us. We take a trip or two a year and advise the kids what we will pay for and they came come if they want and can. This year we are going to Colorado in March. Two of our kids are coming. They are covering their air, lift tickets, and alcohol. We will cover lodging, rental car, and most food. They were all invited and the third child may come for a few days.

In October we are going to Disney. They are invited to come as we have a two bedroom DVC unit. They have to cover their own airfare and park tickets. We will cover lodging and most food. One or two may come for part of the week.

In December we are going to Naples for Christmas. We are covering everything. All three are coming.

We also spend quite a bit of time down at the lake over the summer and they join us when they can. We cover their food, some alcohol, and gas for the boat and jet ski.

Our kids are 26, 25, and 22. All are out of college (that we paid for) and have great jobs. They also take some trips on their own.

When they were in college we paid for everything on every trip and only planned family trips that everyone could make. I would have felt horrible leaving one of them out. That does not include weekend trips to visit them at college or do college activities with them. I do not consider those vacations.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, to the above post...

An adult trip as husband and wife...

Occasional one-on-one special interest activities with individual kids.

Family trip to WDW/Universal, excluding a teenager, when they probably would enjoy such a family trip.... Probably not good.

As I am planning a trip to Hawaii...
I go with Lilo and Stitch.
When it comes to 'family'.... as in the overall 'family'....
O'Hana means family, and that means nobody gets left behind.

 

[Kellykins1218]

Speaking as someone whose parents regularly did this with a younger sibling, I can tell you my feelings were incredibly hurt. If it's a family vacation, family goes.

 

[DISFANSTHREE]

Just back from WDW, took our only kid. She is 21 in college. Also took her boyfriend, he paid for flight, hopper pass, and part of extra room. Worked out fine. We did our thing they had there on time Schedule..

 

[Deb in IA]

With our older children, if they want to, if they are able to, they are welcome and wanted.

We returned last week from our "grand slam" cruise on the Disney Fantasy (all 4 ships) with our 19 year old son and our 23 year old daughter.

We planned this for when our son was on his winter break from the university and our daughter arranged her work schedule to go with us.

As long as they want to come and don't have any conflicts, we will continue to take them on vacation with us.

Heck, we even took vacations with our parents (the grandparents) - a three generation vacation!

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

Thank you to those of you who suggested him flying separately and just joining us for a few days. Not sure why I had not thought of that! I think the main reason that he would want to go is for Universal, we haven't been since HP has been there and I know he wants to do that. I could plan for us to go there when he's there so he won't miss out

We did this. My sister was in university and I was in grad school. I had a shortened winter break that I couldn't miss before due to a strict attendance policy.

I missed the first stop on our South American cruise and met up with the boat on the 2nd stop.

My situation was a bit extreme but I couldn't imagine my parents assuming I wouldn't go at all so as not to miss school.

 

[Wendy31]

As an sort of addendum to my first post, this reminds me of a family w/ whom we used to go to church.

Not saying this anything like you, OP, though! The situation just made me think of them.

The family consisted of the parents & their 2 children (boy & girl twins). When the twins turned 18, the parents stopped any kind of support. Both of them still lived at home, but they had to start paying rent. They also paid for their college, their cars, etc.

Additionally, if they went on vacation w/ their parents, they had to pay their way - everything... food, lodging, tickets, etc. I remember the twins turned 18 in May. That June, the parents went to the beach for the week & rented a condo. Their son wasn't able to go because he couldn't afford it, so he stayed home, & just their daughter went. Even though they were renting a condo, their daughter had to reimburse them for her "portion".

Fast forward 10 or so years, the daughter is now married & had her first child about 2 years ago. (She & her husband paid for their wedding, of course. ) Right after the baby was born, we ran into her mother one day, & I said something to her about how she must be so excited w/ her new grandbaby. And she replied that she would be, but she very rarely got to see the baby.

And I remember thinking to myself that there was a probably a reason her daughter never brought the baby around. Once she & her brother turned 18, their parents basically treated them like tenants instead of family.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

We took a 10 day trip last thanksgiving. It was my family and my sisters family. My niece was 20 years old and in her 3rd year of college. She couldn't miss school the whole time. So she traveled to Florida with my sister, but then had to fly home half way through the trip.

I was so glad she could spend half the vacation with us. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing. I will take my boys as long as they want to come with us.

 

[ORMom2Four]

At 19, I would still take them and mostly on my dime, but I would ask that they contribute. They would need to buy their own ticket to Disney or pay for their own food.

At 20+, they are going to be paying most of their way.

My kids MUST have a job by 17-18, so that factors into it--they have their own money by then.

(I have a 21 and a 23 year old)

 

[Hrhpd]

OP...love this thread because I am under similar circumstances. I have only read the original post because I was so excited to reply...will have to go back and read entire thread.

My kids are DS-18 (senior) and twin DDs-16 (sophomores). My DS had been griping a lot on the past few vacations about how boring it was and 'why couldn't we leave him home'. Our Xmas 2013 trip to WDW was MISERABLE due to his griping and complaining...MISERABLE. Then, like child birth, we forgot the pain and took he and his GF to Disney's HHI resort this past summer. While it was better since he had his GF, they still complained since it wasn't all commercialized like OC MD is and they couldn't walk a busy boardwalk late at night...so they were bored. But they enjoyed the sleeping and eating and the beach so most of the time they were okay.

Now we are planning our 2015 vacays and he informs us that he wants to go to WDW and bring his GF because she has never been. They will both be 18.5 and can do their own thing. So I booked our trip for Aug and added them to the resie (we are DVC so I got us a 2BR villa...well booked it separate as a 1BR and a studio, long story as to why). DH, DDs and I all have APs but DS does not. So I will have to get he and his GF park hoppers and we're doing 2 days at US so I'll have to get those tix too. And I will pay for meals (we do a lot of TS at WDW). We are driving, so no airfare to worry about but hotels to/from will be interesting with 6 of us. The 2 of them are adding lots of cost to our trip...uggghh (but it's knid of a graduation present to them). I feel, and I have told him, it's the last trip I plan around our family of 5. In the future it will be 4 of us as he will be an adult and have his own crazy schedule and life. If he can join us on some other trips, fine but we can't take his life/schedule into consideration anymore (it's tough enough, currently, with all 3 kids in HS).

I also booked a cruise for DH's Xmas present (for Thanksgiving week). He has been wanting to go on a cruise. I booked it for Thanksgiving week since my DDs are heavily involved in travel softball and they have very limited time when they can vacay. They always have Thanksgiving week off from school and softball. But DS will be in college and not have that whole week off. So I just booked the 4 of us. He, just today, griped about not being included. I swear I think they will gripe about anything no matter what you do...if you book them they gripe that they don't want to go and if you don't book them they gripe that they want to go...WTH!!!!

So, I am going with my plans and not stressing. He has a whole lifetime of vacations ahead of him. We are including him and his GF in on our Aug trip to WDW. I will include him when I can but I can no longer accommodate his schedule. I also look forward to the day, not too far from now, when it will be just DH and I vacationing alone. I will still love to get my adult kids together on vacations with us every now and then. Curious to see what others have to say.

A crappy thing to do.

 

[Hrhpd]

For our children, school is their job. We had no choice with our oldest as his college major highly recommends that the students not work at all and they definitely cannot work more than 10 hours a week. Not much money you can save up with only 10 hours a week.

But even if they didn't have those restrictions at school, I had children because I wanted them. That didn't end at 18. If I am planning on a vacation, my kids are invited and it is on my dime. Now, they do offer to help out on their own, but I would never invoice my own kids for a family vacation.

 

[mom2rtk]

OP...love this thread because I am under similar circumstances. I have only read the original post because I was so excited to reply...will have to go back and read entire thread.

My kids are DS-18 (senior) and twin DDs-16 (sophomores). My DS had been griping a lot on the past few vacations about how boring it was and 'why couldn't we leave him home'. Our Xmas 2013 trip to WDW was MISERABLE due to his griping and complaining...MISERABLE. Then, like child birth, we forgot the pain and took he and his GF to Disney's HHI resort this past summer. While it was better since he had his GF, they still complained since it wasn't all commercialized like OC MD is and they couldn't walk a busy boardwalk late at night...so they were bored. But they enjoyed the sleeping and eating and the beach so most of the time they were okay.

Now we are planning our 2015 vacays and he informs us that he wants to go to WDW and bring his GF because she has never been. They will both be 18.5 and can do their own thing. So I booked our trip for Aug and added them to the resie (we are DVC so I got us a 2BR villa...well booked it separate as a 1BR and a studio, long story as to why). DH, DDs and I all have APs but DS does not. So I will have to get he and his GF park hoppers and we're doing 2 days at US so I'll have to get those tix too. And I will pay for meals (we do a lot of TS at WDW). We are driving, so no airfare to worry about but hotels to/from will be interesting with 6 of us. The 2 of them are adding lots of cost to our trip...uggghh (but it's knid of a graduation present to them). I feel, and I have told him, it's the last trip I plan around our family of 5. In the future it will be 4 of us as he will be an adult and have his own crazy schedule and life. If he can join us on some other trips, fine but we can't take his life/schedule into consideration anymore (it's tough enough, currently, with all 3 kids in HS).

I also booked a cruise for DH's Xmas present (for Thanksgiving week). He has been wanting to go on a cruise. I booked it for Thanksgiving week since my DDs are heavily involved in travel softball and they have very limited time when they can vacay. They always have Thanksgiving week off from school and softball. But DS will be in college and not have that whole week off. So I just booked the 4 of us. He, just today, griped about not being included. I swear I think they will gripe about anything no matter what you do...if you book them they gripe that they don't want to go and if you don't book them they gripe that they want to go...WTH!!!!

So, I am going with my plans and not stressing. He has a whole lifetime of vacations ahead of him. We are including him and his GF in on our Aug trip to WDW. I will include him when I can but I can no longer accommodate his schedule. I also look forward to the day, not too far from now, when it will be just DH and I vacationing alone. I will still love to get my adult kids together on vacations with us every now and then. Curious to see what others have to say.

Same question to you as I have for the OP...... what is it that you expect your son to do for Thanksgiving?

I would be heartbroken to tell my son we wouldn't be here for him to come home to on Thanksgiving. That first year away is hard for some kids. I was terribly homesick by Thanksgiving that year. I can't even imagine having my family somewhere else.

 

[whitney250]

My grandmother still takes all of us on vacation with her. My cousin and I are both 25 and my uncle is in his 50's and my mother is in her 40's! We actually just went on a "girl's trip" to WDW this past October.

 

[SC Minnie]

DD20 vacations with us when she can. When she can't, we go without her. She wouldn't miss a week of college for a vacation. We will continue including her on vacations for as long as she wants to travel with us.

 

[mom2rtk]

My grandmother still takes all of us on vacation with her. My cousin and I are both 25 and my uncle is in his 50's and my mother is in her 40's! We actually just went on a "girl's trip" to WDW this past October.

Can I come next time?

 

[wishesuponastar]

My DH and I are discussing a November trip to WDW, we have 4 children, ages at the time of trip will be 20, 13, 11 and 9. We have decided to go in November because we really want to see all of the Christmas decorations and this is the first time my DH will be able to get away from work at that time of year. DS 19 will be in school, DH and I kinda assumed that he would not be going with us this year. My DS asked me the other day if we were taking a trip this year and I told him that we were thinking November, I think he assumes that he will be going. I didn't have the heart to tell him that we weren't planning on him going because we figured he'd have school. Also by him not going we will be saving a lot, in airfare, tickets and food. I hate to sound cheap and say we aren't bringing him because of the cost but realistically, it does come into play. We are all going to the Outer Banks this summer so it's not like he will never vacation with us again. DH and I both were talking about it and said that our parents went on vacations all of the time when we were in college but we didn't have younger siblings going with them so it's a little different. So my question is, do we suck it up, allow him to miss school and go with us or do we figure a way to nicely tell him that we weren't planning on him going? I hate to make him left out of the loop so my mom guilt is kicking in overdrive

I would take him if at all possible. My oldest was 19 and going to a local college and we decided not to take her on our Disney vacation and I regret that so much. She's not in the photos, doesn't have memories of a trip with us. She could have missed the 7 days for the trip looking back in hindsight. She has never mentioned anything about not going but I feel terrible.

 

[CdnCarrie]

My parents never took us on vacation after we turned 18. I was too busy with my college courses, social life, BF and work to care.
I just went Whoo-HOO! house to myself. Party time! I loved it when they were gone!
I didn't go away for college and it was so nice to have the privacy and independence.

 

[mom2rtk]

I didn't go away for college and it was so nice to have the privacy and independence.

This is why our older son frequently chooses not to go. He values his alone time and loves these rare occasions to be in the house alone.

That said though, I would not leave him over Thanksgiving.