At what age did you tell explain this to your daughter

[SC Minnie]

The tread about about age of daughters and shaving made me think of this question. DD is 9 4th grade. At what age did you explain to your daughter about getting her period?

Anyway, she asked me several years ago what are the 'products' for. She was about 5 and I just told her it was for when you grow up. I didn't think it was the age to get into a deep discussion. I don't want to have a talk with her out of the blue but I want to be able to tell her the truth about this instead of playground gossip. I want to be prepared for the discussion myself too.

What do you think?

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

book recommendation

 

[Crankyshank]

There's no time like the present.

I was 9 when I started and my Mother never talked to me about it. We had a class at my Catholic school, but that was about 6 mos after I started so it was a little too late.

 

[Allie322]

In our school district, 4th graders are given "The Talk" in April. (Parental permission is required.) It is a basic puberty discussion and the main topic for the girls is the menstrual cycle. With both of my daughters, I felt the need to tell them before they heard it from the school nurse! I gave basic information and as time has gone by, they have asked questions when they felt ready.

I initially dreaded those type of conversations but in the end, it has been fine. And I know on another thread a while ago, people mentioned the book "The Care and Keeping of Me". I bought it for each of DDs and it really is a great resource for them and me!

Good luck!

 

[Sandy V.]

I'd have the discussion as soon as possible, even if it may be years before she gets her period - better to be informed about what's going on with her body before the event actually occurs.

My daughter is 16, but we had a drawer in the bathroom filled with "supplies" probably 2 years before she actually needed it. She could pull stuff out, unwrap it, examine things, ask me questions, etc. We also had a book similar to the one Briar Rose suggested (hers looks like a good one) that helped explain the technicalities. My daughter was ready when it happened, and handled things very well in my opinion.

Good luck! When my daughter was in elementary school, I had a third grade teacher (Yikes! That's young!) tell me that she had a young girl start her period during class time - the mother hadn't told her anything and the poor child thought she was DYING. I felt so bad for her.

 

[Freyja]

I definately think you should start discussing these things with your daughter. I am glad my mom had this "talk" with me when I was very young, cause thise meant that I was prepared when I got mine at age 10!

My daughter is 7 and used the chance to tell her about this a few days ago when she was asking about my "products". She didn´t ask much, but I guess the questions will come as time goes by.

 

[mom2boys]

As Crankyshank stated, some girls do start at 9. Even if you daughter doesn't appear to be approaching puberty, some of her friends probably are.
I was in the volunteer room at my boys' K-5 school one day. It is across the hall from the guidance counselor's office. She had a group of 4-5 4th grade girls in her office. One of the girls happened to carry a purse to school and the other girls assumed she was carrying feminine hygine products in it - and made it known to others. Some of the girls were clearly clueless and most of them seemed to think the need for such products was an oddity. The counselor (a female) did not get into any details with the girls but did explain to them that they would all eventually be getting their periods and that it was something that happens to all girls sooner or later.
As you said, better your daughter get her info from you than from playground gossip.

 

[bananiem]

I agree whole-heartedly with "the Care and Keeping of You" book. My dd had just turned 9 last May but we read it together over the summer. We would read a chapter or 2 at a time. It has cartoon pictures and goes through everything from hair care, zits, and body changes. It doesn't go into intercourse so I think it's a good starter book. She keeps iteh book between the mattress and box spring of her bed so her little brother won't get ahold of it!!! I've found her looking at it a few times over the past year.
My neighbor is an ob/gyn and she says it is more and more common for girls to be getting it younger. I got it at 11 so I'm prepared for dd to get it at 10.

 

[Danauk]

I personally think 9 is about the right age. I work in a school (in England) and we give girls aged 9/10 the talk (parental permission is required). When they are a year older they get the other talk which the boys also get at the same time.

 

[Talking Hands]

I answered questions about it when asked in a manner that they could understand. In 4th grade they had the talk in school by the school nurse and then I went into more detail with each one privately. My daughters are 4 years apart so I really didn't have much to say with the second one.

 

[SC Minnie]

Thanks! I will get a copy of this book and read it before I let her read it.

I don't think they have had this talk at school. She would have said something plus they haven't sent home a permission slip.

 

[bananiem]

I don't want to tell you how to parent and of course it's totally up to you but I wouldn't just give it to her to read on her own. I've never seen my dd so flustered as when we got to "THE" chapter. I think the word to describe her face is "horrified." By the end of the chapter she was at least willing to admit she was just "grossed out."

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

My mom had that talk with me when I was in the 2nd grade. I had a neighborhood friend who was 2 years older so mom didn't want me to be clueless should my friend bring up that subject.

I started when I was in the 4th grade. A year or so before the friend.

 

[TEENEE]

I recently bought "The Care and Keeping of You" for my dd. We read a chapter or two together once or twice a week. She reads it a lot on her own. I think it's wonderful book. She has asked questions while we're reading and questions about things she has read on her own. Be prepared, if your dd is anything like mine she may not be shy. My daughter starting blurting out questions about my preferences to certain products while we were in the drug store. Which reminds me, I still need to talk to her about how some things should be private discussions.

I guess I forgot to answer your question. My dd is 8, she'll be 9 in July. Her body is starting to change so I thought it was time to start opening those lines of communication.

 

[Desiree]

Just this past summer, I took Devyn to a seminar our local hospital gave. It was excellent. They covered everything and in a way that the kids would understand. If there are programs like this around your area, I would definately recommend it. It was a mommy/daughter thing. They have one for boys too.

Here's a link to it if anyone is in the Baton Rouge area.

https://secure.womans.com/secure/body.cfm?template=community&action=detail&ref=1768

 

[shelbyjosh]

I often wondered when I should have that talk with my DD. She is 9. She asks questions occasionally. When we were at WDW, every bathroom we went in she asked what tampons were. I did not know what to say as that wasn't the time or place to discuss it. Her teacher told me that she had a student in 2nd grade start her period. YIKES. That would be so scary. Unfortunately, she is starting to "bud" and refuses to wear anything under her shirts. She gets offensive when the subject of her boobs is brought up.

 

[SC Minnie]

bananiem- that is why I want to read the book first then decide how to handle from there. DD is an only child so we are very close- she talks to me about 'stuff' but she hasn't asked questions about this since she was about 5 and that was only- Mommy what is that for. Her friends are starting to 'bud' and wear bras but she is not even close to that yet.

Thanks for all the input. Like I said I want both of us to be prepared. (Not sure I am ready for my baby to grow up )

 

[peg2001]

Wow, it sounds like I'm in the minority. My girls are 4 and 7 and they've known about periods since they were toddlers. It comes up in everyday conversation as I buy or pull out my monthly supplies. I've described (more than once) how the body prepares for the possbility of pregnancy and what happens when a pregnancy doesn't take place (aka menstruation). I was careful to explain that it was "extra" blood and that the body produces more so they wouldn't be afraid of losing blood that they needed.

I guess I'm not sure why people want to wait until their kids are 8 or 9. . .it's so easy to talk about why they are YOUNG and keep the communications open.

Peggy

 

[Otto's Doll]

DD is 8 and we have had various conversations regarding this whenever she asks questions. I have brought it up a few times as well, just so the lines of communication are open. My Dsister was 9, and clueless when she started, I don't want that to happen to Kari.
I am off to order the book. It looks very good for her age. I will read it myself first, and then read it with her.
Anyone know of a book similar to that for boys? DS is 10.

 

[aprincessmom]

I'm like peg2001...DD is now 8 but has know about menstruation since she was about 3. What she knew then is a bit more simplistic than what she knows now that she is older but the foundation was laid a long time ago.