At what age did you let your son go to the mens room alone?

[HeyItsNickCA]

As long as your child knows the basics of what he needs to do in the bathroom (wash hands, etc) then I say let him go alone.

I've been going to the bathroom by myself since I was six (ten years ago!) and I think it is important for children to learn how to be somewhat independent. At Disneyland, the chance of anything happening to your son is very low because of how packed the bathrooms get, somebody would hear if your son was in trouble.

If you don't feel comfortable about the chance of someone looking at your son then just instruct him to use one of the stalls. Just make sure how he knows to lock it and unlock it.

In the end, if you still don't feel comfortable - just take him with you to the female restroom. As other posters have said, it's common at Disneyland (even in male rooms- I've seen girls with their dads which I find kinda awkward but I'm sure it happens more often in female restrooms). If somebody gives you a dirty look or says something, just ignore them because they should expect stuff like that at a family theme park.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

I agree. I wonder how many moms want their daughters going in the men's room at age 8-10yo with their dads.

If mens rooms had stalls and no urinals I would be fine with my girls going in with my husband. The girls on the other hand would probably have a very different opinion on the matter!
I am generally with my girls when we use public bathrooms. They do go in alone sometimes. My rules for this are pretty strict. I must be within eye shot of the door and they have to go in with a buddy. No one goes alone. If they go when they are out with my husband he stays within eye and earshot of the ladies room. When they were younger my husband was afraid to take them to the restroom. Didnt know what to do, so he kept their daddy daughter outings short!!

 

[Hisgirl]

We have four grandsons, ages 9 down to 9 months and this question has come up. Our DD still does not allow the oldest to go in alone and I support her decision.

When I saw this thread, I googled 'child molested in restroom' and was sick to my stomach at all of the news stories.

I have volunteered as a counselor for years and quite frankly, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the only person I know who wasn't sexually molested as a child. I am literally stunned at how many people I know, personally and professionally, who were molested as children, by either strangers or family members. Just this knowledge alone convinces me that seeking out a 'family' restroom is a good idea.

Until those are more common, I would do what I had to do to protect my kids and make sure they were always in the company of someone I trusted.

 

[JoRo]

Our son just turned 6 in June, we would let him go to the rest rooms at. Most Costco (no doors) and yes at DL, he knows to go in do his business, wash hands and come right out, or I will go in after him. If I'm concerned I will stand outside the door and call his name to check on him, or if ur worried send him in with a whistle. I guess due to the volumes of people I'm less worried about him at DL, he also knows his safety rules...also I know we don't live in a perfect world , but our little guy is doing good. All IMO of course.

 

[mom2rtk]

Good point! I did not add the most of the boys I have seen over the age of 6-7 look unhappy to be in the ladies room! But, I'm sure those moms are less concerned with how happy they are and more concerned with safety (not to say that anyone whose son goes in alone is not concerned about safety, just clearing that up before it is misunderstood! ). They probably don't care what the boy is thinking about all of it!
I think in the end it comes down to a case by case thing. I may think 10 years old is right but I dont have a boy and usually am in the restroom with my girls at the same time when we are out. Some boys may be mature enough at a young age and others not so much! My oldest daughter could go into a stall alone at 3 or 4 and handle her business with no help and wash up properly. My twins were totally different. One was 7 before I trusted that she was doing a good job of using seat covers and washing up well. The other I still have my doubts and she is 8! Same with stranger danger type situations. Every kid is different!

Picture yourself as a 13 year old girl. Does their modesty and discomfort with having a tween age boys outside their stall not count in this equation?

If you have anxiety about your older boy using the men's room, give him a whistle and chat with him from outside the door throughout his visit to the men's room. But let the girls have some privacy dealing with their own issues please.

 

[Love Tink]

But, I'm sure those moms are less concerned with how happy they are and more concerned with safety (not to say that anyone whose son goes in alone is not concerned about safety, just clearing that up before it is misunderstood! ). They probably don't care what the boy is thinking about all of it!

I am quite concerned with my children's safety. That is why I taught them from an early age, and often remind them, how to identify and deal with potentially dangerous situations.

I suppose I could also just never let them out of my sight...but that is logistically somewhat more difficult.

 

[mom2rtk]

I am quite concerned with my children's safety. That is why I taught them from an early age, and often remind them, how to identify and deal with potentially dangerous situations.

I suppose I could also just never let them out of my sight...but that is logistically somewhat more difficult.

It's about empowering them to make good choices and to trust their instincts. Watching them walk out the door to college at 18 is so much harder if you don't.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

I am quite concerned with my children's safety. That is why I taught them from an early age, and often remind them, how to identify and deal with potentially dangerous situations.

I suppose I could also just never let them out of my sight...but that is logistically somewhat more difficult.

No one said any parent on this board is not concerned with their kids safety. Different strokes for different folks is all.
My kids are out of my sight quite often for activities, school, friends ect...I dont see anything wrong with be extra caution in certain situations (public bathrooms being one of those) until kids are physically and mentally ready to fend for themselves in a dangerous scenario. My kids know self defense, their stranger danger rules and all of that. I just like to be as present as I can, while I can. Bottom line is that if a child is lucky enough to have a concerned parent (be it hovering or teaching them independence very young) then who can complain about anything else?!

 

[mom2rtk]

No one said any parent on this board is not concerned with their kids safety. Different strokes for different folks is all.
My kids are out of my sight quite often for activities, school, friends ect...I dont see anything wrong with be extra caution in certain situations (public bathrooms being one of those) until kids are physically and mentally ready to fend for themselves in a dangerous scenario. My kids know self defense, their stranger danger rules and all of that. I just like to be as present as I can, while I can. Bottom line is that if a child is lucky enough to have a concerned parent (be it hovering or teaching them independence very young) then who can complain about anything else?!

And what about the young ladies who are made uncomfortable by the overprotective parent?

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Picture yourself as a 13 year old girl. Does their modesty and discomfort with having a tween age boys outside their stall not count in this equation?

It would not count as far as I am concerned. There are many stalls to use in a bathroom. My girls could have the option to go away from a young or tween boy. But this has come up with my girls as they have seen boys around 10 in a ladies room. They know that I'm there, the boys mom is there and thats all there is to it. They also understand that he is there because his mom is worried about him going alone in the mens room. My kids are also taught that if it doesn't feel right then leave. If they went in without me and did not like a boy being in there they are free to come out, get me, or wait until he has finished.

 

[mom2rtk]

It would not count as far as I am concerned. There are many stalls to use in a bathroom. My girls could have the option to go away from a young or tween boy. But this has come up with my girls as they have seen boys around 10 in a ladies room. They know that I'm there, the boys mom is there and thats all there is to it. They also understand that he is there because his mom is worried about him going alone in the mens room. My kids are also taught that if it doesn't feel right then leave. If they went in without me and did not like a boy being in there they are free to come out, get me, or wait until he has finished.

I'm really sorry you feel that way. A young lady should have more consideration than that in a bathroom designed for her own gender.

 

[Dawg91]

I haven't thought of it in terms of boys in the women's restroom making my daughters (9 & 12) uncomfortable. I have no boys, but I can say my 11 year old nephew would be horrified if he had to come in the women's restroom and my girls would not appreciate it either.

Thinking back, I think it would be unreasonable for him to have gone into the women's restroom past age 7. I know my girls were going alone by that age if necessary. I know it might be gross, but the world is not going to end if they skip washing their hands a time or two. Who do you think monitors that at school? No one.

I prefer not to assume the world is fraught with pedophiles and other dangers.

 

[Sparkly]

I'm really sorry you feel that way. A young lady should have more consideration than that in a bathroom designed for her own gender.

Exactly. What happened to them being WOMANS restrooms?

People are way too worried about what might happen. Disney restrooms are most likely the safest because of the volume of people entering and exiting all day.

And a small anecdote: A couple of years ago whilst we were at WDW's DTD I took a quick restroom stop, but didn't close the stall door properly. It was embarrassing enough having another woman barge in on me with my trousers down, let alone someone of the opposite gender!

 

[Dot2Vegas]

I'm really sorry you feel that way. A young lady should have more consideration than that in a bathroom designed for her own gender.

Don't feel sorry I can assure you my girls and I are just fine and they have all the consideration that they need. I think we are all forgetting the percentage that this situation may even arise. In my 14 visits to Disneyland we have taken many many bathroom trips. I maybe see any boys in the restroom 1 out of 5 bathroom visits. I've probably only seen a boy close to 10 years old 2 or 3 times ever. In the grand scheme of things we aren't talking about unisex restrooms for all. For me and my girls seeing a boy in the ladies room is a very rare occurrence that we dont even think about.

 

[grnflash]

We sometimes go to the SDSU Aquaplex to play on the weekends. They have a sign on the outside of the men's and women's restroom doors - something like "Kids 7 and over must use the gender appropriate restroom. Family restrooms are available."

 

[mom2rtk]

Don't feel sorry I can assure you my girls and I are just fine and they have all the consideration that they need. I think we are all forgetting the percentage that this situation may even arise. In my 14 visits to Disneyland we have taken many many bathroom trips. I maybe see any boys in the restroom 1 out of 5 bathroom visits. I've probably only seen a boy close to 10 years old 2 or 3 times ever. In the grand scheme of things we aren't talking about unisex restrooms for all. For me and my girls seeing a boy in the ladies room is a very rare occurrence that we dont even think about.

Actually I wasn't sorry for you or your daughters. That's your business. What I was sorry for was for my own daughter, who might encounter others not sensitive to the needs for privacy for someone her age. In a bathroom designed for her own gender. Expecting her to wait for a stall down the line to avoid a tween age boy standing nearby just seems odd to me.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

And what about the young ladies who are made uncomfortable by the overprotective parent?

I think that's a whole issue for another thread. Parenting is a balance of doing what's right for your child and their safety and teaching them to be independent.
My 10 year is uncomfortable with me holding her hand in a parking lot or crowded area because its not cool. Its not my problem. Im trying to keep her safe.

 

[mom2rtk]

I think that's a whole issue for another thread. Parenting is a balance of doing what's right for your child and their safety and teaching them to be independent.
My 10 year is uncomfortable with me holding her hand in a parking lot or crowded area because its not cool. Its not my problem. Im trying to keep her safe.

I think consideration of others deserves to be an equal piece of the discussion.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

I think consideration of others deserves to be an equal piece of the discussion.

Agree to disagree. Luckily for everyone (not directed at you) we all have the right to raise our kids as we see fit and don't have to worry about others raising them their way.

 

[whjensen]

My kids are 14, 12, and 4. I think in the last 14 years, when with the family, I've managed to go to the bathroom by myself only two or three of those years (after middle turned 5 or 6 and before youngest was born). How old do >>I<< have to be to go to the bathroom by myself?