At what age did you let your son go to the mens room alone?

[mom2rtk]

Well I guess I'm one of those moms... It's not DW or DL but a very public place. I live in the Houston area and at the Library down the street from our house 2 little boys were attacked. It's was the middle of the afternoon. A dad sent his DS 4 and DS 6 into the bathroom to change into their swimsuits for swim class after story time. There just happened to be a pediphile alone in the bathroom when they walked in. He attacked the older kid and was molesting the younger child when the older got away and ran outside the door to get his dad. A well lit bathroom, the middle of the day, a busy place... Of course the dad thought it would be safe. I'm not sure when my DS will be allowed to use the men's room honestly. Luckily he is only 3 and I don't have to cross that bridge yet! On a side note my DD is 5 1/2 and she doesn't go to the bathroom by herself either.

The bathrooms in a library are completely different. There is no admission fee, and tend not to get much traffic. There are so many people in and out of the bathrooms at DLR or WDW for anyone to get away with something like that.

That said, I have no issue with 4 and 6 year old boys in the ladies room.

 

[SMD]

6.5 I have no issue with. I saw 11 listed earlier, and that's way too old. My 13 year old daughter should not have to take care of her personal hygiene issues with a tween age boy standing outside the door with gaping cracks all around.

<b>If you decide to take your boy into the ladies' room, I think a good suggestion would be to take them into the stall with you</b>. After all, safety is paramount, and your child can't be safe wandering around a restroom while you are in a stall with your pants down around your legs.

This. If your son can't go in the stall with you, he does not need to lurk inside the restroom. Take him in the stall, then have him wait outside the restroom while you go back without him. I have seen 12-13 year old boys waiting outside the stalls alone playing with their phones. Not ok to take pictures in a restroom. And why can they be unsupervised in women's room but not the men's?

 

[SweetAlex]

Take him into the women's room, my wife still takes our DS in with her and he's almost 11!!

Oh my... my 11 year old daughter would be horrified to have to use a washroom in which an 11 year old boy was standing in. Maybe something to consider next time. I'm shocked an 11 year old boy is OK with using the women's washroom... he doesn't mind?

 

[wajones2]

Hard one. As a mom, I wouldn't want my 7 yo going into men's room alone. But as a 7 yo girls, I wouldn't want a 7 yo boy in the bathroom with me. Thankfully, most places have a family assist bathroom and we just wait for that one.

 

[ckmiles]

I have no advice to offer as I dont have children.

But I am curious for those who allow their children to go to the restroom by themselves (and are single parents) I assume you let the child wait outside the restroom then, while you go? To me, this would be the more dangerous of the to scenarios no? A child just wandering off (especially at DL, the things that would be 'distractions' ) would be a fear of mine, more-so than an attack by a pedophile. But being smart parents you might already have a solution to this.

 

[Sydnie]

I have no advice to offer as I dont have children.

But I am curious for those who allow their children to go to the restroom by themselves (and are single parents) I assume you let the child wait outside the restroom then, while you go? To me, this would be the more dangerous of the to scenarios no? A child just wandering off (especially at DL, the things that would be 'distractions' ) would be a fear of mine, more-so than an attack by a pedophile. But being smart parents you might already have a solution to this.

You don't leave your child alone outside waiting for you until you feel s/he is old enough to stay exactly where s/he is asked to. Easy peasy

 

[grnflash]

You don't leave your child alone outside waiting for you until you feel s/he is old enough to stay exactly where s/he is asked to. Easy peasy

Yup. Our son's 6 and knows that if he moves from the designated spot, he'll be coming in the women's restroom with me. He never moves, LOL.

I will say that at DL, we also don't use the restrooms by the exit or in the esplanade. We hit one up before leaving from further inside the park. I'm not a fearful parent but we do have precautions in place.

 

[ckmiles]

I will say that at DL, we also don't use the restrooms by the exit or in the esplanade. We hit one up before leaving from further inside the park. I'm not a fearful parent but we do have precautions in place.[/QUOTE]

That is very smart! Something I never even thought of. I will keep this in mind when its my turn to be the parent!

 

[OKW Lover]

Perhaps I'm not living in the "real world" but what is everybody afraid of in the mens rooms at DL? What do you imagine happens in there?

 

[Sydnie]

Perhaps I'm not living in the "real world" but what is everybody afraid of in the mens rooms at DL? What do you imagine happens in there?

People are worried about lurking child molesters usually.

Of course, if we go based off statistics rather than fear we need to be more worried about the adults we actually attend Disneyland with than the unknown strangers our kids may happen across.

 

[SMD]

People are worried about lurking child molesters usually.

Of course, if we go based off statistics rather than fear we need to be more worried about the adults we actually attend Disneyland with than the unknown strangers our kids may happen across.

Exactly.

 

[waltonmkb]

Thank you for all the replies! I think I will just leave it up to him if he's ready to go by himself or not.

 

[bumbershoot]

And to answer the question, my boys are 4 and 6. I let them go into the bathrooms both alone and together since they were tall enough to reach the sinks and responsible enough to behave maturely (so about 3.5.) I always wait right outside the door

FWIW, I've seen sooooo many little kids in restrooms on their owns...their opposite sex parent thinking blithely that the kids were doing what they were supposed to be doing, while the kids most definitely were not.

My own son, as I started the process of letting him use the boy's room at the Y, was up to nonsense in the bathroom that I didn't know about until a dad told me. He still pretends like we have never once told him he is supposed to use warm water AND soap AND dry hands with towels, each and every time. Every so often he starts the "cold water is cleaner" argument (which is funny b/c a college housemate once gave the rest of us an impassioned argument about this, bringing up cold water streams that don't grow algae vs hot bodies of water that do) and acts shocked, shocked!, that soap is there to be used. I've finally wised up and feel his hands when he comes out of the bathroom. He's been going alone since he was 7ish, and he's now 10 and still acts like no one has ever told him the right way to do the bathroom stuff.

Oh and he also, for an unknown amount of time, would pull his pants all the way down at a urinal. Again, a random dad at the Y told me. I thought he was doing it the way he'd been taught, but he thought his way was better and easier. (which I'm sure it is)

Coming back to agree with this as well. I don't think 6 is too old to come in the women's room, but I also think it's plenty old enough to go alone

I like that way of thinking.

For my son 6 was too young, but the meaning is the same.

And why can they be unsupervised in women's room but not the men's?

Sheer statistics of who is doing the molesting...

I have no advice to offer as I dont have children.

But I am curious for those who allow their children to go to the restroom by themselves (and are single parents) I assume you let the child wait outside the restroom then, while you go? To me, this would be the more dangerous of the to scenarios no? A child just wandering off (especially at DL, the things that would be 'distractions' ) would be a fear of mine, more-so than an attack by a pedophile. But being smart parents you might already have a solution to this.

Especially at Disney, a child waiting outside is going to be more the focus of concerned moms and CMs, not of people trying to be up to no good.

My son knows to wait outside in an exact spot. We've even now started to meet up at a certain spot and use the restrooms at the same time. (we do NOT do this in airports or grocery stores, but at Disney and Universal)

Perhaps I'm not living in the "real world" but what is everybody afraid of in the mens rooms at DL? What do you imagine happens in there?

The OP spelled it out pretty clearly. She's afraid of pedophiles. What else would you think she's worried about?

 

[OKW Lover]

The OP spelled it out pretty clearly. She's afraid of pedophiles. What else would you think she's worried about?

Is this really a problem at Disney? How many incidents have happened?

 

[SMD]

Sheer statistics of who is doing the molesting...

Statistics show that a child is 3 times more likely to be assaulted after they turn 12 and more than 9 times more likely to be assaulted but their parent or family member accompanying them than by a stranger.

I don't have a problem with boys in the women's room, if their mother is responsible for their behavior. If you literally have to bring him in the stall and hold his hand while you pee, then do that. But I've seen boys with camera phones out and my friend's niece complained once that a boy stuck his head under the stall divider. I don't think it's ok to turn anyone in the women's restroom into the victim of a peeping tom. I also don't think that behavior is acceptable in the men's room. So, like I said, I think it's only ok if he is physically in the stall and proper behavior is actually enforced by the parent.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Is this really a problem at Disney? How many incidents have happened?

I doubt there are many incidents at Disneyland of this happening, but it only takes one person with an opportunity to do something bad for it to be an issue. I dont think it matters where you are- Disneyland or a library for example. Bad people can be anywhere.

OP- I don't have boys so I don't have any expertise on this. However, as a mom of three girls, who spends lots of time in restrooms with them, I would say 10 is a good age. My daughters (8, 8, 10) are not bothered by boys in the restroom. They know that those boys are with their moms for safety reasons. I would imagine that a boy over 10 in a ladies room would make people a little uncomfortable.
If I had a son I think I would send them in alone around age 10. Maybe stand outside of the door, let him know a code word or a safety word to shout out in an emergency. And for what its worth, if my son was in there for more than a few minutes I would have no problem yelling to him. And no problem going in if he didn't answer me! Maybe thats something you could do to help you and him feel safer!

 

[Love Tink]

I I would say 10 is a good age. My daughters (8, 8, 10) are not bothered by boys in the restroom. They know that those boys are with their moms for safety reasons. I would imagine that a boy over 10 in a ladies room would make people a little uncomfortable.

Oh my goodness. I have a 10-year-old son and the idea of bringing him into the women's restroom is absolutely ridiculous to me. I think I would literally have to knock him unconscious and drag him in.

My three boys started using the appropriate public restroom for their gender when they were about five or five and a half - i.e. old enough to handle the necessary activities by themselves, and old enough to understand how to yell "I don't know you!" really loudly if necessary.

I usually don't think anything about boys in the restroom until they get to be about seven. By seven or eight, I notice them and I wonder why they are there.

 

[mom2rtk]

Oh my goodness. I have a 10-year-old son and the idea of bringing him into the women's restroom is absolutely ridiculous to me. I think I would literally have to knock him unconscious and drag him in.

My three boys started using the appropriate public restroom for their gender when they were about five or five and a half - i.e. old enough to handle the necessary activities by themselves, and old enough to understand how to yell "I don't know you!" really loudly if necessary.

I usually don't think anything about boys in the restroom until they get to be about seven. By seven or eight, I notice them and I wonder why they are there.

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Oh my goodness. I have a 10-year-old son and the idea of bringing him into the women's restroom is absolutely ridiculous to me. I think I would literally have to knock him unconscious and drag him in.

My three boys started using the appropriate public restroom for their gender when they were about five or five and a half - i.e. old enough to handle the necessary activities by themselves, and old enough to understand how to yell "I don't know you!" really loudly if necessary.

I usually don't think anything about boys in the restroom until they get to be about seven. By seven or eight, I notice them and I wonder why they are there.

Good point! I did not add the most of the boys I have seen over the age of 6-7 look unhappy to be in the ladies room! But, I'm sure those moms are less concerned with how happy they are and more concerned with safety (not to say that anyone whose son goes in alone is not concerned about safety, just clearing that up before it is misunderstood! ). They probably don't care what the boy is thinking about all of it!
I think in the end it comes down to a case by case thing. I may think 10 years old is right but I dont have a boy and usually am in the restroom with my girls at the same time when we are out. Some boys may be mature enough at a young age and others not so much! My oldest daughter could go into a stall alone at 3 or 4 and handle her business with no help and wash up properly. My twins were totally different. One was 7 before I trusted that she was doing a good job of using seat covers and washing up well. The other I still have my doubts and she is 8! Same with stranger danger type situations. Every kid is different!

 

[Malcon10t]

Oh my goodness. I have a 10-year-old son and the idea of bringing him into the women's restroom is absolutely ridiculous to me. I think I would literally have to knock him unconscious and drag him in.

My three boys started using the appropriate public restroom for their gender when they were about five or five and a half - i.e. old enough to handle the necessary activities by themselves, and old enough to understand how to yell "I don't know you!" really loudly if necessary.

I usually don't think anything about boys in the restroom until they get to be about seven. By seven or eight, I notice them and I wonder why they are there.

I agree. I wonder how many moms want their daughters going in the men's room at age 8-10yo with their dads.

I have had problems several times with 7-10yo boys looking through the cracks (you only see their eyeballs!) and twice had them looking under the stall door. All at Disneyland.

I have boys. By the time they were 6/7 they were using the appropriate bathroom. My granddaughter is 3.5yo. She already refuses to use the men's room when out with her dad.

There are several family bathrooms in Disneyland/DCA. This might be a better solution.