Asperger's and college

[5lilfish]

My son is finishing his Junior year of high school. He has Asperger's. For the most part, he is very mildly affected. He has made it all the way through public high school without getting any services. As a matter of fact, while the school knows of his diagnosis, it isn't officially noted. He just never needed more than for me to keep the teachers informed and deal with the occassional bump in the road as it came.

Now we're starting to look into college. His intended major is a bit specialized (theatrical management). He is likely to go away. He's pretty independent and capable. I'm worried but not a whole lot more than I would be for any of my kids. Still, I know adjustments are hard and I know he gets stressed occassionally. Do I inform the school? Do we let them know when he applies? Will that hurt or help his admission chances? Will they require anything of him...what I mean, my son has never liked any special programs offered because he is almost always the least affected person in these programs. What about a roommate?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks...
Jess

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My son is finishing his Junior year of high school. He has Asperger's. For the most part, he is very mildly affected. He has made it all the way through public high school without getting any services. As a matter of fact, while the school knows of his diagnosis, it isn't officially noted. He just never needed more than for me to keep the teachers informed and deal with the occassional bump in the road as it came.

Now we're starting to look into college. His intended major is a bit specialized (theatrical management). He is likely to go away. He's pretty independent and capable. I'm worried but not a whole lot more than I would be for any of my kids. Still, I know adjustments are hard and I know he gets stressed occassionally. Do I inform the school? Do we let them know when he applies? Will that hurt or help his admission chances? Will they require anything of him...what I mean, my son has never liked any special programs offered because he is almost always the least affected person in these programs. What about a roommate?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks...
Jess

My DS18 also has Asperger's, so I can empathize! I'm sure your son, like mine, is very smart and capable, but his anxiety can sometimes get the best of him. It's great that your son is making his way through mainstream high school. My son graduated last week with a full diploma, but spent his K-12 years in a combination of mainstream, a specialized school, and finally a specialized program at his high school. It was a less-than-traditional path, but he made it.

In terms of college for your son, it's really going to depend on how he feels about going away, having a roommate, and navigating his classes. If his high school doesn't have his diagnosis officially on file, there's probably no need to mention it to any college he applies to. I assume he doesn't currently have an IEP. If he did and you wanted services to continue in college, you would need to notify the student services department. Otherwise, I would let his grades and accomplishments speak for him. If he feels the need to inform any of his professors, that's something he should handle himself. He can talk to the professors during office hours and explain his needs, ask questions, etc.

In terms of a roommate, does your son tend to get along with most people? Does he prefer someone who is quieter, more outgoing? Does he warm up to new people easily? Does he often need to have his own space? Would he do better his first year in a single room where he could relax and decompress without another person going in and out? Some colleges have quad rooms where everyone shares a common living area and bathroom but each person has their own bedroom. In that arrangement he would have others to socialize with but still have his own room. Have him think about what he would prefer in case there are different options available.

Just a few things to consider. It sounds like he's a pretty confident guy and will do great!

 

[barkley]

My DS18 also has Asperger's, so I can empathize! I'm sure your son, like mine, is very smart and capable, but his anxiety can sometimes get the best of him. It's great that your son is making his way through mainstream high school. My son graduated last week with a full diploma, but spent his K-12 years in a combination of mainstream, a specialized school, and finally a specialized program at his high school. It was a less-than-traditional path, but he made it.

In terms of college for your son, it's really going to depend on how he feels about going away, having a roommate, and navigating his classes. If his high school doesn't have his diagnosis officially on file, there's probably no need to mention it to any college he applies to. I assume he doesn't currently have an IEP. If he did and you wanted services to continue in college, you would need to notify the student services department. Otherwise, I would let his grades and accomplishments speak for him. If he feels the need to inform any of his professors, that's something he should handle himself. He can talk to the professors during office hours and explain his needs, ask questions, etc.

In terms of a roommate, does your son tend to get along with most people? Does he prefer someone who is quieter, more outgoing? Does he warm up to new people easily? Does he often need to have his own space? Would he do better his first year in a single room where he could relax and decompress without another person going in and out? Some colleges have quad rooms where everyone shares a common living area and bathroom but each person has their own bedroom. In that arrangement he would have others to socialize with but still have his own room. Have him think about what he would prefer in case there are different options available.

Just a few things to consider. It sounds like he's a pretty confident guy and will do great!

just for the record-there are no iep's in college. there are some services available at colleges under 504, but these don't provide for any modifications to degree programs or course requirements.

 

[barkley]

My son is finishing his Junior year of high school. He has Asperger's. For the most part, he is very mildly affected. He has made it all the way through public high school without getting any services. As a matter of fact, while the school knows of his diagnosis, it isn't officially noted. He just never needed more than for me to keep the teachers informed and deal with the occassional bump in the road as it came.

Now we're starting to look into college. His intended major is a bit specialized (theatrical management). He is likely to go away. He's pretty independent and capable. I'm worried but not a whole lot more than I would be for any of my kids. Still, I know adjustments are hard and I know he gets stressed occassionally. Do I inform the school? Do we let them know when he applies? Will that hurt or help his admission chances? Will they require anything of him...what I mean, my son has never liked any special programs offered because he is almost always the least affected person in these programs. What about a roommate?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks...
Jess

my son is on the spectrum as well-he'll be a junior in high school next year so this is something we discuss with his therapist.

colleges differ in the supportive services they offer. a call to a potential college's office for students with disabilities can be very informative. they can let you know what services are available, and those that might require a formal diagnosis on file to access services through 504. I know of one young man with mobility issues whose only accommodation is a preferential registration status such that his classes are kept in close proximity to one another. my son's therapist works with some instructors at one of our local in making accommodations.

if your son gets occasionally stressed he might benefit from getting familiarized with any college's student mental health center-that way he will know what supports he will have on campus.

as far as roommates go-I don't know if it's available at all colleges, but one of my daughter's friends is dorming next year at college and her roommate has aspergers. apparently the roommate wanted whomever she would be rooming with to be aware, and since dd's friend has done volunteer work with asd kids and is majoring in a field to work with them the college paired the 2 together. I know with my son while it could be argued that it would be better socialy for him to have a roommate in a college dorm, his private bedroom is truly his 'safe place' where he can relax and not have to focus on minimizing his somewhat quirky asd behaviours-so if he were to go off to college I suspect it would be less uncomfortable for everyone if he roomed alone.

i'de suggest you start looking at schools that have good programs in his chosen majors, and good supportive services-I minored in theatre and I remember the long nights pre-production that caused stress all around. if stress is an issue your son deals with having some support and safety nets in place can only contribute to his feelings of well being and move him successfully forward.

 

[NHdisneylover]

DD is a senior next year, and we have already talked about this a lot. I am curious to see what ideas and advice this thread has to offer

She generally does awesome, and most people who meet her and work with her have no idea--but if her anxiety ramps up it can quickly become apparent there is an issue.

So far, we have talked about what she feels will work best for her as far as the dorms go:

She thinks, and I agree, that the traditional "older" style dorm on her campus, the one with bedrooms (mostly 2 to a room) and one shared bathroom and common area per floor with those places being cleaned by dorm staff, will be easier on her than the newer more "apartment" like ones with four to eight people whose bedrooms all share one bath and common room and then those girls work together to keep their common areas cleaned.

She is thinking that in the more traditional set up there are fewer people she has to coordinate with for stuff like what is an acceptable level of mess, when cleaning should happen, etc. And it gives her more people hanging out in common areas, increasing the odds of finding some that she clicks with, when she wants to be social.

We are going to try to get her a single room, like a PP, a "safe place" to decompress would be best--but we are not sure if Freshman are allowed to have them (we will pay if they can, and some are tiny but she feels a tiny place that is HERS would be better than more space that is shared).

She has also already been thinking about other places she can have some decompression time-taking her noise cancelling headphones to some of the round "cubbies" in the library, etc.

The other big thing I worry about with her is anxiety around tests. She can get really worked up, but also does much better if she doesn't let herself focus on the source of her anxiety. We've talked about staying busy with other things during test times and not studying more than normal, but just keeping up all along, so that she doesn't get worked up--and being attuned to her feelings and getting in to health services, or calling someone she trusts (me, an aunt, etc) to talk through the anxiety ,etc--not trying to go it alone and ignoring early worrisome signs.

 

[eliza61]

just for the record-there are no iep's in college. there are some services available at colleges under 504, but these don't provide for any modifications to degree programs or course requirements.

But some colleges will provide for assistance and modifications on how the course is completed.

My oldest son went to Marshall Univ in West Virginia now granted it did not work out for various reasons, but the program for special education students was wonderful.

He got tons of assistance and many of the professors assigned had backgrounds in working with Autistic, Asperger and special needs adults.

While there are no IEP's when we applied they did take all of us old IEPs and review them.

Op, my son did not do well going away and had to return after one year. That is not to say that your son will not. I would definitely contact the school, see what resources are available. many especially nowadays are fully attuned to the many different students coming through the doors.

I would also chat with his guidance counselor.

Good luck.


Oh there is a great book out called the K&W guide to colleges with special needs programs (I think that's the title). I found it on amazon, pick it up, lots of good schools with excellent programs.

 

[Tuffcookie]

My youngest DS was diagnosed with Asperger's in 6th grade. His is a milder form too. He was in special programs in the middle and high schools. By the time he was a senior in high school he was able to main stream into regular classes. He never liked for anyone to know about his Asperger's. He was afraid they would treat him differently, so, when he graduated HS, I kept it to myself.

He is now 22 and a student at a local university (Kent State). He commutes to school. He has 1 more semester to go and he will graduate with a BS in history. He has been on the Dean's List his entire 4 years! On top of this, he has worked at a local grocery store for the last 7 years and the last 2 years he has tutored at the university.

I'm not sure how he would have done if he would have attended college away from home. Although he has learned how to handle the work load that college demands, he doesn't have to worry about other things.

Congratulations on your son's accomplishments! Just because a person is diagnosed with Asperger's, doesn't mean they can't be successful in life.

TC

 

[JulieWent]

DS just finished his freshman year in college. (Brag moment -- He currently has with a 3.9 GPA. Woot!) He has NLD, which is Aspergers more or less. He did have services in high school, but they were very much low-key and allowed him to deal with anxiety and stress more effectively. We did choose to register him with our university's Office of Accessibility. This has allowed for him to choose to use (or not) accommodations during high stress times like exams. These accommodations are so much more low key and so much less noticeable than those given in K-12 that he has used them without hesitation to reduce his anxiety. His professors have been absolutely supportive and completely cooperative in dealing with the Office of Accessibility, and the people who work there are completely professional in dealing with my son. Every university must have such an office under federal guidelines. If you have any worries that your child might need any support -- no matter how insignificant -- I urge you to at least visit with the systems in place at any university you choose.

Julie

 

[aprilchem]

College professor here - I've encountered many students with Aspergers in my courses. I would say most of them don't disclose that they have an ASD diagnosis to our Disability Support Services and I've never had a special accommodations letter given to me with a diagnosis of ASD (FYI, students at my institution have to register with DSS, and then they get a special accommodations letter for each professor that details that accommodations that I can provide. Accommodations can include untimed exams, exams in a separate room, access to video/audio copies of my lectures, etc.). I'm an Aspergers person myself so I can usually recognize them, though. Once they find out I have ASD they will often talk to me about it, which is nice

I would say the most important thing for an ASD college student is to have somebody watching out for them socially; I've noticed that in our department the kids will often think something is "off" about our Aspergers majors but not know exactly what it is. Having access to the Counseling Center would probably be helpful for a new ASD student, as they can provide resources about fitting in, ways to make friends, etc.

 

[cedricandsophie]

Hi. I have a few ideas for you. I too have a special needs child, a daughter with Down Syndrome, age 29. While not nearly the same as your son and certainly not as high functioning, she had a wonderful college experience at a local university, National Louis (we live in Chicago) which has a program that specializes in children with special needs. It is a two year program. She lived in a dorm, went to class, held a job, etc. She is also very social, happy to be around others, etc. So her life experiences are much different than your son.

I am also on the Board of an organization called Center for Comapnies that Care. I won't go into all the details of what we do, but we are not for profit. One of our programs is called Invisible Differences, meaning those disorders that prevent our kids from working and learning in a typical way. On the outside they look like everyone else--but on the inside they are full of anxiety and sometimes very clueless on how to operate in the real world.

Our founder has three children on the spectrum, so she has a host of experiences. Our research has found that while young adults on the spectrum are limited in their intellectual abilities, they are not finishing college and are generally underemployed. Why? Not because they aren't smart enough to do the work, but because of their life and organizational skills.

We have put together a Transition to College workshop that is for parents and students that focuses on some of the issues these kids will face once they get into college. We can also provide services around building communication skills, how to support your child throughout college without being a helicopter parent and so on. We are also developing a college simulation for college-bound high school students that provides a look inside the college experience.

What we have found from talking to parents and from her own experiences is that it is the little things that trip up our kids. For instance, her son goes a local well respected liberal arts college so he can live at home. He had a writing workshop and was "thrown out" because he wouldn't do outlines. That's not how is brain operates--he needs to write out first and then back into an outline. They didn't understand that. He also gotten "written up" once for sexual harrassment because he hugged a student once and didn't detach soon enough. She got uncomfortable. But his social cues didn't tell him when to let go. Its that kind of stuff that becomes the issues.

We live in the Chicago area and I don't know where you live, but if you are interested in hearing more, please private message me.

Just a few more of the issues that we have found to be problematic for our kids with invisible differences:

Can he take notes? Does he need a recorder to record the class so he can combine that with his notes? (That would probably require special services assistance.)

Does he have appropriate social skills? Is he bothered by loud music, talking, laughing? Can he hold a conversation and look people in the eye? Does he know when he is standing too close or talking too loud? Can he make his bed, clean up his room, do his laundry, find his way around campus, take public transportation, manage his money, etc. etc. etc.?

Can he ask for help?

If he is part of a study group, can he cooperate with others?

I'm not trying to discourage you at all from thinking about college. And he probably has all of these things nailed. But because of the Board I'm on, I've become more much attuned to the needs of this population.

I hope any of this helps. Good luck. And again, feel free to contact me offline if you would like.

 

[shortbun]

I would provide the school with an official diagnosis from your pediatrician or psychologist. you could explain that you are not technically requesting services but just that they have this on record in case it's needed. Aprilchem made some good suggestions. having the counselling services know is probably exactly what he needs.

 

[shortbun]

deleted because it was in the wrong thread

 

[NotUrsula]

Right there with you. DS is exactly that kid: "quirky" but fully mainstreamed, and he will go away as well. His only official acommodation in HS is one that wouldn't matter in college: he gets two sets of textbooks issued, because he has executive function issues that include a tendency to forget to bring them home for homework. DS is also interested in a similar field: sound engineering for theatre and film production.

In high school, his big issue has been a need to let teachers know that he has AS, because if they didn't know it, they tended to form an initial impression of him as a disrespectful, arrogant git, and unconsciously become prejudiced against him for that. This happens mainly because DS has very little understanding of the impression conveyed by tone of voice, and he often speaks very sharply; it's just his natural default tone and cadence, but to people who don't know him well, it comes across as rude. He is going to have to go to his professors and tell them that he doesn't mean to be rude in his manner of speaking, but that he has trouble controlling his voice, especially when he is interested in and excited about a topic.

One of the things I have been looking into because I think it will help him immensely is a concept that has been gaining ground in the last couple of decades on campuses: living/learning communities. These are dorm areas (sometimes the whole dorm, sometimes a floor) that are set up to foster community among kids in the same field of study. Usually there is a junior faculty member also living there, and functioning as sort of a specialist academic RA. There are study groups, which I think will help DS immensely.

I'm of a mixed mind about getting DS a single room, unless it is a room in a suite (with guys I'm not sure that the cleaning responsibility aspect is normally as much of an issue as with girls; I think they are in general less likely to get annoyed about slovenly conditions outside their own spaces.) He spent a couple of weeks on a campus last summer for a program, and happened to luck into a single room because he was the last one registered for it. My understanding is that he NEVER came out of his room to speak to anyone in his leisure hours; he stayed in there listening to music on headphones with the door closed at all times, only emerging when he had to use the john or shower. He has never had to share a room at home (sibling is a sister), and I think it might be good for him to have to learn to acommodate another person to that degree: he is way too attached to his privacy and far too inclined to spend time alone rather than risk social rejection if he makes a faux-pas.

I did buy DS a book that seems to be helping him (and his parents, ancient fossils that we are) to understand the peripheral issues involved with college life today (things other than academics, for the most part.) It's called The Naked Roommate, and it is full of pragmatic and often funny advice about adjusting to living on a college campus and being completely responsible for your day-to-day life. http://www.amazon.com/The-Naked-Roommate-Issues-College/dp/1402203373

Speaking of the book, my DH never lived in a dorm, and he wondered what was going on when he heard me muttering while I thumbed through it and then laughing in triumph. I told him I was looking for the "roommate vomited/peed on my stuff in the middle of the night" story, and sure enough, I found it. EVERY male I've known who lived in a suite-style college dorm had it happen to him at one point. The roommate gets drunk, goes to sleep, wakes up in the middle of the night and THINKS he is in the bathroom when he is not. This is one of those things that make me glad I'm female, LOL.

 

[lisau]

My son just finished his freshman year of college. He,too, is very high functioning. He chose to not identify his Asperger's anywhere on his college applications. His counselor did address it in her recommendation letter. One essay required writing about identifying with a person with a disability and he did write about his own story for that one essay.
We chose a school with an Asperger's support program in place. We found the whole college selection process to be much better than we ever imagined. It is amazing how much support is out there at the college level.
We did have him register with the school's Disability Support Services which offers a myriad of support from informing professors to obtaining outlines/ class notes to counseling and organizational support. Just about any type of support he could possibly need is available. My son never wants to be different so he has yet to take advantage of any of the services available to him. However, since he is registered, should he need any support it will be available to him immediately.
My son definitely is still quite awkward socially and has some quirky behaviors. Housing was wonderful. They gave him a double room to use as a single so that if he found someone he wanted to live with on his own, he could move them in. I don't think he would have done well with a random roommate. Initially, during those first few weeks he wished he had a roommate. As the year progressed, he was glad he had the single as a place of his own to decompress etc... He chose to have a single again for his sophomore year. He is also attending a summer program and living at school for most of the summer. He had the opportunity to live with a "friend"/ acquaintance during the summer session. We figured this would be the best situation for trying to live with a roommate - so far it's going pretty well. His school does offer learning communities for freshman and sophomores. He chose to live in an arts and culture/ theater community his first year and another one for next year. These are communities within the dorms with students with like interests who do many things together including day trips, dinners etc...and was beneficial for someone like him.
We considered a few things when selecting a school: close to home in case he needed some extra support from us, the availability of single rooms( which not every school offers), Disability Support Service familiar with Aspergers/ Autism ( which really wasn't a problem at all) and his gut feeling/ where he felt most comfortable.

 

[rwdavis2]

Don't expect much from the school at all. He's pretty much going to be on his own. My dentist's daughter has a physical handicap (wheelchair) and was promised a bunch of things by the school and they did none of it. Pretty much blew him off. So don't take anyone's word for anything.

 

[zurgswife]

My son is on the spectrum and also has learning disabilities and he attend a State university in PA and it was the best experience of his life.

The thing that we requested that had to do with Aspergers was that he not be tripled - almost all freshman were tripled. A roommate was going to be difficult enough two in such a small space would have been a nightmare. They gave him a double and it was perfect.

He does get help from the learning office because of his learning disabilities and they have been great also. I would take to your prospective schools to see what they can offer you might be surprised.

 

[tar heel]

Like the OP's son, my son did not have any services in high school. He graduated with a good GPA and had a very high SAT score. He did not put anything about his diagnosis on his application and got a prestigious scholarship courtesy of his SAT score.

His first year was rocky. He had placed into the third level of engineering calculus and had trouble with it. He also had a class that met one time every other week and he couldn't remember to go. Chemistry tests were given at a common time instead of in class and he forgot to go to one of them. Because his other grades were good, he wasn't in academic trouble at the end of the year, but he obviously had not had a good year.

He spent some time with a counselor that summer and we all decided to try having him take just four classes. We accepted that he would probably take an extra semester. Later, he changed his major to what he really wanted to do (computer science) and it actually took a full five years.

We asked for help from disability services once, when he forgot to register for a dorm before the deadline. They agreed that he couldn't handle off campus and got his application through. No real roommate problems -- we were lucky with that. He lived with one guy that I suspect also had Asperger's.

I'm happy to report that he's out of school and has a good job.

 

[Andtototoo]

My daughter's roommate this year had Asperger's. To honest, it was difficult for my daughter and the other girls to have her as a roommate due to the socialization issues. I don't really want to give e details just so people can pick my words apart, but I would urge you to work with your child on basic rules of sharing specific space with others, household cleaning, sharing, and social "rules", such as not interrupting, not staring, listening, etc.

 

[mom2rtk]

My daughter's roommate this year had Asperger's. To honest, it was difficult for my daughter and the other girls to have her as a roommate due to the socialization issues. I don't really want to give e details just so people can pick my words apart, but I would urge you to work with your child on basic rules of sharing specific space with others, household cleaning, sharing, and social "rules", such as not interrupting, not staring, listening, etc.

These kids don't have issues with socialization because nobody has worked with them on it. I'm sure their parents have done nothing but work with them from very early in their lives. You might want to do a little more research on the diagnosis.

 

[Andtototoo]

These kids don't have issues with socialization because nobody has worked with them on it. I'm sure their parents have done nothing but work with them from very early in their lives. You might want to do a little more research on the diagnosis.

Excuse me. You know NOTHING of this particular girl of whom I was speaking or my knowledge of the diagnosis. In fact, I know of quite a few parents who were able to better socialize their kids with Asperger's with (a lot of) work. In fact, her parents admitted to me that they had done almost no socialization work with her because they did not think it was necessary and were shocked at the problems their daughter was having in the college apartment. I was shocked at their denial of the issues that were naturally going to arise and their failure to warn their daughter or even attempt to give her coping skills. Given the problems caused including for the girl (to say nothing of those with whom she lived), I thought it was worth giving a warning.

And if there is nothing that "can" be done with a particular child, it's worth understanding that living in a group situation is not going to be fun or even workable on a basic level for anyone there. A parent with a child with such issues is better to be forewarned than ignorant.