Asking a friend to join your vacation

[princessjadesmom]

I'm planning a surprise trip for my daughter's 16th birthday. I have asked the parents of one of her friends if her friend could come on the trip with us if we paid for $200 of the cost for her to join us (which would still leave them paying about $900). I haven't heard anything back yet from them. I hope I didn't offend them by asking them if she could go and if they could pay that much. I know my daughter would love to have her friend go on the trip with us and it will make the surprise just that much better. I really like this girl. She's a very sweet girl and I like her family too. Frankly, I'd love to take her whole family if I could. If they decide to let her go and something should happen that makes them decide not to let her go later, would she be able to be taken off of the reservation? How would that work? Any advice? Thanks!

 

[Accident]

you might have sparked a "we should all go" and they are sorting out if they can give it a couple days, follow it up with a friendly we wish we could afford to just bring her and understand if it's too much for her to join for the bday trip. We need to finalize by xx/xx/xxxx so please let us know before then if she is coming...

 

[powellrj]

You are braver than I am. There is no way I would surprise a 16 year old girl with a trip to WDW. At that age my DD was making her own plans and would have things to do that couldn't be cancelled like school projects, sports, drama, choir, job and plans with friends. Even during school breaks and summer she always has something going on.

 

[princessjadesmom]

You are braver than I am. There is no way I would surprise a 16 year old girl with a trip to WDW. At that age my DD was making her own plans and would have things to do that couldn't be cancelled like school projects, sports, drama, choir, job and plans with friends. Even during school breaks and summer she always has something going on.

She does have a heads up that I'm planning something for her birthday so that she doesn't make any plans, she just doesn't know what it is. I'll be telling her 2 weeks before we go and we'll only be gone for a 4 day weekend. Knowing how much both my daughter and her friend love Disney, I'm pretty sure they'll be thrilled with the surprise.

 

[a742246]

I have nothing to add but I wish the best for your plans to work.

 

[princessjadesmom]

I have nothing to add but I wish the best for your plans to work.

Thank you!

 

[seashoreCM]

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[seashoreCM]

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[seashoreCM]

Just one cent worth (that is, less than two cents).

I do not think it was proper for the host to start the conversation without offering to pay nearly all of the costs.

Even so, if something goes wrong, even a family emergency, there will be money (notably airfare) lost by someone and the friendship is very likely to be gone, finished, kaput, fubar.

(added later) I think that making the invitation where the guest has to pay $900. out of the total of $1100. would be an insult.

 

[ellie05]

I think $900 for a 4 day weekend sound like way too much money to expect someone to pay. If you invite them I think you should at least pay half. If you don't hear back from them I would assume it is no and I wouldn't push the subject.

 

[seashoreCM]

If something like that should happen though, or if for some reason they decide she can't go later, would we be able to take her off the reservation? How would that work? Any advice?

The rules: The host should up front all of the advance costs and deposits. The host should absorb all losses resulting from the trip's not happening.
The exceptions: If the guest backs out or no-shows or misbehaves then the guest should be responsible for her added costs.
Even though the guest is the only person who can make use of what remains of her airfare, she may have difficulty arranging a trip of her own if the original trip fails so the host should absorb that cost unless an exception above applies.

 

[seashoreCM]

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[Jadyreen1282]

I would never ask a friend to join and have them pay. I'd drop the cash for it if they were invited. I'd also never let a friend of my kid join a family vacation to WDW. It distracts from my bonding with my kid while away from home.

What am I saying...I don't even have a kid...ignore me.

 

[laughinplace199]

What is included in the $1100? That seems really expensive for a 4 day weekend. A 4 day park hopper is about $400. Are you flying? How much is airfare? My guess is that you haven't heard from them because it's too expensive.

 

[Lena&Lars]

Many years in late 70's and early 80's each of our 3 children brought 3 friends. At that time we asked the kids parents to chip in 150.00 each, and was never a problem. I gotta tell you of all those years and all those different kids, we never had one problem, the kids were a joy. Back then we were at Ft Wilderness and only had MK and we were never bored.

By the way, the 150.00 was in late 70's and early 80's and prices for Disney were much less,
We had a 12 passenger van and drove with travel trailer, so no air was involved.

 

[Bullseye]

What is included in the $1100? That seems really expensive for a 4 day weekend. A 4 day park hopper is about $400. Are you flying? How much is airfare? My guess is that you haven't heard from them because it's too expensive.

Based on that, and let's say optimistically $300 for round trip airfare, plus another $200 for food and incidentals, $900 seems about right. But that means the guest is basically paying her whole way since OP is already renting a room anyway. I would cover the whole nut if I could, but if I couldn't I wouldn't feel bad asking them to cover either the airfare or park ticket. It is their kid and OP is offering her to stay at a Disney resort and to chaperone so the girls can have good time together.

 

[SadieDawn90]

I don't see the problem inviting a kid and asking her family to pay. Make it clear that if the answer is no, you don't feel like you are owed an explanation and since it's a surprise for your daughter, she never has to know that the friend coming was even on the table. Low pressure as possible. I would never let my kid go on a vacation completely footed by someone else. Why should someone get a free vacation to stinkin' Disney world just because the family wants their company? It's like a school field trip...the opportunity is provided, the chaperoning is provided, the planning is done for you...but you still have to pay for it.

 

[princessjadesmom]

$1100 covers her dining plan, park tickets, airfare, Christmas Party ticket, and Gospel Brunch ticket.

 

[senadler]

We have invited a few different friends of my DD15 to join us on trips over the past few years. What we have asked their parents to pay is airfare, tickets, and any souvenirs they wanted to buy. We have covered meals, snacks, etc. I think this was a good plan, and had no problems. $900 does sound like a lot to me for 4 days. I would estimate for our 5 or 6 night trip they probably paid about $500 or $600 max.

 

[princessjadesmom]

I don't see the problem inviting a kid and asking her family to pay. Make it clear that if the answer is no, you don't feel like you are owed an explanation and since it's a surprise for your daughter, she never has to know that the friend coming was even on the table. Low pressure as possible. I would never let my kid go on a vacation completely footed by someone else. Why should someone get a free vacation to stinkin' Disney world just because the family wants their company? It's like a school field trip...the opportunity is provided, the chaperoning is provided, the planning is done for you...but you still have to pay for it.

Thank you very much! I would love to be able to pay for the girl's entire trip, but that is just not possible with my budget. I've been scrimping and saving as much as possible for almost a year to take this trip in the first place. Our share of the trip is already $3000 (for just my daughter and myself). I just can't afford another $900.