Are people who have weddings on holiday weekends selfish and rude?

[sandramaac]

Do everyone a favor and stay home-----you truly sound like an awful person---it isn't about having a wedding on a holiday, its about the terrible remarks over awful food and lame guest. Brides and grooms and their family put so much time, effort, money and love into these events--not to mention the stress thats is involved in a day such as this. Your cold and heartless remarks really show a window into your soul, and no way would I ever want you to share in my day. Remember what goes around comes around---gee, maybe someone here knows the bride---would love to forward it to her

 

[ballroombelle]

Originally posted by Bob Slydell
Just a guess, but I'm thinking they probably didn't pick the date specifically to piss you off.

This about sums it up for me.

By all means, don't go. I think if people feel this way about it, the bridal couple and their family would be more than happy and grateful to be spared the lousy attitude and judgemental glares.

 

[JKanownik]

Count me in with those that have zero sympathy with the OP and those that agree with him. I am extemely busy with work, school, a house and a wife and the thought of the value of a holiday weekend would never cross my mind when attending an event hosted by someone I cared for. I can't stand the attitudes people have about obligations to invite people and to attend events. If you feel obligated to attend an event, it is just as likely the the party hosting the event felt obligated to invite you. By not attending you are actually doing them a favor.

Originally posted by TheButlerDiditt
I don't think having a wedding on a long holiday allows for easier travel. Travel costs usually rise on holiday weekends

Driving anywhere over 6 hours is definitely much nicer on 3 day weekend vs. a 2 day weekend. And as for flying and hotels, the cost and crowds for honeymoons increase on holiday weekends just as much as for any other type of travel. You aren't paying extra to travel for the couples convenience, it is for the people that are driving. If anything you should complain about people that are live too far way or are too cheap or can't afford to fly, not the couple getting married.

I also don't agree with the complaint about wasting a holiday weekend because it beats the heck out of burning a vacation day for a wedding at any other time. If you want to complain about holiday weekend weddings, you also need to complain about weekday weddings and any wedding that you need to travel to.


-Josh

 

[RachelEllen]

I don't think it's selfish or rude, but it is inconvienant. It's a busier travel time. It's more expensive to travel. And if you have a job like mine where nights and weekends are involved, it may mean having to work on another holiday (whereas an ordinary weekend is much easier). I don't take if personally when someone schedules like that. But I may be less likely to be able to come.

 

[dizneegirl]

We married on a Memorial Day weekend because most of our family was from out of town. Our wedding was on Sunday... giving them a day to drive in, a day for the wedding, and a day to travel back.

If someone invited would rather spend their 3-day weekend doing something else (and, apparently, quite a few of the in-laws to be did), I'd much rather have them do their own thing, then to come and not have a good time.

 

[HollyJoy]

I don't think that the bride and groom should have to worry about accomodating everyone's vacation/holiday plans when planning their wedding. If you don't want to give up your long weekend, don't go!

 

[spagheddie]

Originally posted by kidzmom3
If its a family member you may not have a choice to go. And lets all be honest. I know a lot of you have been saying you LOVE a wedding. They really are not that exciting. In my opinion they are for the couple, their CLOSE family (not everyone on the family tree) and their true friends. Many relatives that you see only occasionaly and casual friends get invited and do come, but they don't share the excitement of the core group. My opinion, flame away.

These were my thoughts making the OP. I know that at many weddings you have a core group of friends and family that you're really excited to have there to celebrate your day, then you have other relatives that you hardly ever see or talk to but because they're family, you have to invite. Next for example, you have friends from college that you were really close with back in the day but not so much now, and finally, and I know this to be true, people who you don't really know who they are but invited them because your parents or grandparents told you they somehow have a connection with you.

So out of all the people you invite maybe 30% are really truly important to you. I don't care how insensitive that sounds, you know that 98% of all weddings go down like that.

BTW, I'm sure no one's ever looked at their guest list and wished that this person or that person declines because if you really had your choice you wouldn't invite them.

And if you're in the other 60%, which we all fall into at some point, wouldn't you rather be down the shore?

 

[stinkerbelle]

::getting on flame retardant suit::

I think at one time or another some people feel as the OP does...regardless if the wedding is on a holiday weekend or not.



I've declined holiday weekend invitations mainly because I'd rather not be on the roads. (and these were NOT close friends to us...one was a friend of mine from HS, another was one of DH's college friends) I've also declined invitations that were on regular weekends where I just didn't feel close enough to the bride/groom.

I DO pick and choose which weddings I go to...(besides the family obligated ones though)...if that makes me a bad person, so be it.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

My neighbor booked her daughter's bat mitzvah for Memorial Day weekend.

her reasoning?

her priority was making sure her older child could attend the service and party.our temple doesn't do bar and bat mitzvah services during the summer. if she didn't book the party for a three-day weekend, her older daughter wouldn't be able to come home from college to attend.

 

[Jeanny]

Don't go if it bothers you that much. Were they supposed to call you first to see if the date they selected was ok with you??? It's their wedding== stay home and enjoy your long weekend.

As Stinkerbelle said, she selects which weddings she goes to or doesn't go to and NO, that doesn't make her a bad person ... you have that choice too. so just stay home.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Originally posted by stinkerbelle
::getting on flame retardant suit::

I think at one time or another some people feel as the OP does...regardless if the wedding is on a holiday weekend or not.



I've declined holiday weekend invitations mainly because I'd rather not be on the roads. (and these were NOT close friends to us...one was a friend of mine from HS, another was one of DH's college friends) I've also declined invitations that were on regular weekends where I just didn't feel close enough to the bride/groom.

I DO pick and choose which weddings I go to...(besides the family obligated ones though)...if that makes me a bad person, so be it.

I don't think anyone's denying that they've never gotten wedding invitations that they didn't feel like going to for one reason or another.

What most people seem to be saying is that instead of making implications that the couple getting married are selfish and rude, they just politely decline the invitation and move on.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

well said, bob.

 

[coliebird]

My brother got married 4th of July weekend (Sunday) and one of my best friends got married Memorial Day weekend (Sunday). I, for one, was glad to have the next day off. Who wants to go to work after being up late partying at a wedding.

As for birthdays, you can't help when you are born. My daughter was born July 1st. The only day I could have her party this year is July 3rd. If it interferes with someone's long holiday weekend, don't come to her party. Simple as that.

 

[Beth76]

I agree with the OP. We just had to attend a wedding reception (Married in Mexico, so it was just a reception) on Sunday afternoon of Memorial Day weekend. We had already told them we were going before we realized it was a holiday weekend. They were telling us how upset they were that people couldn't go because it was a holiday. Well, duh! It wasn't even a fun party type reception because it ended at 8pm. At least the food was good and the drinks were free!!!

edited to add: I don't really consider it "rude and selfish", just kind of inconsiderate.

 

[kylara]

Originally posted by spagheddie
These were my thoughts making the OP. I know that at many weddings you have a core group of friends and family that you're really excited to have there to celebrate your day, then you have other relatives that you hardly ever see or talk to but because they're family, you have to invite. Next for example, you have friends from college that you were really close with back in the day but not so much now, and finally, and I know this to be true, people who you don't really know who they are but invited them because your parents or grandparents told you they somehow have a connection with you.

So out of all the people you invite maybe 30% are really truly important to you. I don't care how insensitive that sounds, you know that 98% of all weddings go down like that.

BTW, I'm sure no one's ever looked at their guest list and wished that this person or that person declines because if you really had your choice you wouldn't invite them.

And if you're in the other 60%, which we all fall into at some point, wouldn't you rather be down the shore?

To me it is not rude but I can see where some in the 60-70% of the "not real close to either party" might find it rude or inconsiderate. However, if you are in that percentage, then I also don't see why you would feel the need to say yes to the invitation.

I had my wedding on a long weekend, mainly because my maid of honor was from out of state and it gave her more time to travel. It was a consideration for her and my family and friends didn't seem to mind.

Now I will admit that my guest list did have some of the percentage of people on it that I didn't really know that was invited...those that mom put on the guest list because they were close friends of hers. But I also wouldn't have been upset had they declined the invitation and neither would my mom have. In fact, all of them were on the list because they told my mother they wanted and expected to be invited. They loved my mom and wanted to see her daughter get married (mom was a single mom and these people were her support group while I was growing up).

In fact, I did have some people who I was close to decline because it was the long weekend. I wished them a great vacation and never held it against them. I understood that their life did not revolve around my wedding and that their not being there was not a reflection on how they felt about me. Instead, these people wished me the best, took my and then fiance out to dinner before the weekend.

If you really are not close to the people who invited you, send regrets. If they are not close, they probably won't care. If you are close to them, they should understand the need to have alone time or previously made plans.

 

[Disney Enthusiast]

My DH, before he was my DH, was a groomsman in a wedding the day after my 21st B-day. I was at college 2 hours away. Needless to say, he had to attend the rehearsal dinner the night before, on my birthday. THE NERVE!!!

Just kidding. I was very disappointed as that seemed to be a very important b-day for me. But many more have passed since then, and I found out that turning 21 was not THAT big of deal. I have had much more exciting things happen since then. And I was invited as a guest to the wedding the next day anyway, so I really couldn't party too hardy if you catch my drift. LOL.

Anyway, I am still VERY close w/ the couple to this day and I am so glad I didn't pitch a fit about it. Which is easy to do at 21...... Being 21 is the epitome of the me, myself, and I complex.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Originally posted by Minnesota!
I am obviously in the minority, but I agree with the OP. I don't want to spend my holiday weekend at a wedding, a birthday ANYTHING! I want to be able to do whatever I want, and trust me, dressing up and going somewhere formal is NOT something I want to do. I think it IS rude.

Yes, I agree. It IS very rude of someone to be born on or near a holiday weekend..Some people have a lot of nerve.

 

[becka]

We were married on Memorial Day weekend in 1997. I didn't even realize it was Memorial Day weekend when we picked the date. We only had two weekends between our college graduation and when I needed to start my new job in a new town. We wanted to be married in our college chapel and Saturday afternoon was our only availability. We had a small wedding with only about 50 guests and I would like to think that anyone who had feelings similiar to the OP would have just stayed home.

 

[onecoolmama]

Well, my wedding was a week long and NOT on a Holiday Weekend!

As much fun as everyone had...they said next time someone plans that much, please make sure it is over a holiday weekend so that they dont have to take off work!

Tuesday was a BBQ, Wednsday - my wedding party was big so I took them all to an amusement park for the day as my gift.)

Thursday - rehersal and then dinner

Friday - wedding

Sat BBQ with everyone that came in

Sun - opening gifts (most family came..)

Also, I schedule to have my kids over holiday weekends. That way people dont have to take off work to take care of my other kids.

I guess I am rude and selfish...but I still like me. If people don't want to come..please dont; i would rather not have you there if you don't want to be there!

 

[Disney Enthusiast]

Originally posted by onecoolmama
Well, my wedding was a week long and NOT on a Holiday Weekend!

As much fun as everyone had...they said next time someone plans that much, please make sure it is over a holiday weekend so that they dont have to take off work!

Tuesday was a BBQ, Wednsday - my wedding party was big so I took them all to an amusement park for the day as my gift.)

Thursday - rehersal and then dinner

Friday - wedding

Sat BBQ with everyone that came in

Sun - opening gifts (most family came..)

Also, I schedule to have my kids over holiday weekends. That way people dont have to take off work to take care of my other kids.

I guess I am rude and selfish...but I still like me. If you people want to come..please dont; i would rather not have you there if you don't want to be there!

That sounds like a southern wedding to me. We attended an awesome wedding in Kentucky in October of 92 and could only make a few days of the wedding as opposed to the week long celebration. Apparently, the wedding party's parents each throw a get together sometime during the week whether it be a Cocktail Party, a Brunch, Dinner, Lunch, BBQ, etc etc etc. It was a big to do celebrated by the whole town it seemed like. But VERY nice. And people just attended whatever ones they could going from one gathering to the next meeting the gracious hosts before the wedding. We thought that was so neat!