Are people who have weddings on holiday weekends selfish and rude?

[Serena]

This thread struck a nerve. I must apologize to the op for my earlier comment to him.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

I want to go to Bob Slydell's son's birthday party!

 

[LadyAurora]

DH and I got married 12/6, Because it was approximately a year from when we got engaged (Christmas), because we didn't want the church to be already decorated, and to avoid interfering with holiday plans.
We got the OPPOSITE response from our family. They wanted to know why it wasn't closer to Christmas, so everyone would be on vacation, done with finals, etc.
In my opinion, if the wedding is really such a problem, send regrets. If you can't, well the holiday comes every year. The wedding won't.

 

[siouxi31]

Wow! I came into this expecting friendly banter only because my family and I recently had a similar discussion. I prefer not to have a wedding/party obligation during a holiday weekend. When I told my sister that I thought this was ignorant she commented at how she loves having a wedding on a holiday weekend because there's an extra day to recouperate. I re-thought my statement and realized that the bride/groom weren't ignorant. They did most people a favor. You can't please everyone all the time.

If I were to have declined my cousin's wedding over Memorial Day citing reasons of "but I hardly ever get a day off and it's MY holiday weekend" I would have been the big jerk. So for the most part I just shut up and went.

 

[Joyciemc]

99% of weddings I've been to have been boring (obviously none of the couples were close to me). That said, most of them haven't been on a holiday weekend. But it still made for a boring Saturday. I don't think holiday weekend weddings are anymore inocnvenient than regular weekends. They seem better to me because at least you might get an extra day to yourself (depending ont ravelling).

I'm the MOH in a friend's wedding this Columbus Day weekend. I do ahve to travel, and if it wasn't a 3-day weekend it would be tough. I don't expect this one to be boring, but if it is I guess it's only fair- I've already ruined the weekend for many of the the last 23 years by being born on Oct. 11

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

Having worked in this industry for my summer job and my dad working in it since I was born I don't think it is rude at all.
Finding a wedding date at the place you want is hard...really reallly reallly hard...so when you find a date you grab it...holiday or not.

 

[TheButlerDiditt]

Originally posted by Sandy V.
People get all bent out of shape about this kind of stuff because of the "I, me, my" syndrome.

"How dare your schedule your wedding on MY holiday weekend? I want to do something else and you have now ruined it for ME."

I think the same point could be flipped around. "Why should you care about your time when this is MY special day? Why don't you make ME the focus of all your attention? Oh, and buy ME a gift too!"

I don't think having a wedding on a long holiday allows for easier travel. Travel costs usually rise on holiday weekends.

Now, I don't think it is rude to have the wedding on a long weekend, but I think it is more considerate not to.

 

[Lanshark]

Real easy answer. Don't go

 

[tonyswife]

I think it's cute that Bob Slydell's DS was born on labor day weekend. snicker. I bet you hear that one all the time.

ANyway, don't like the date of a wedding, don't go. Period.

 

[Figaro]

I agree, Lanshark! It is an invitation and no one is going to put a gun to your head and make you attend. All that is necessary is to congratulate the people and offer your regrets.

 

[DVC Kathy]

DH and I got married the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My parents wanted the reception at a specific location (and it was fine with us). The only dates they had available for the following year were the Saturday after the 4th of July and the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

No way did I want to be in a wedding gown in July, so....

It caused some inconveniences. I ended up cooking (my first and only) Thanksgiving dinner two days before my wedding because my parent's refrigerator was full of food for the rehearsal dinner (DH family wasn't in the immediate area). Dinner went very well (no food poisoning) except for the fact that the gravy congealed as it cooled. To this day, every holiday somebody asks for a slice of gravy (and it will be 25 years this Thanksgiving)!

We did think the long weekend would give people more time to travel, etc., but I can see the other point as well.

Our biggest problem is that we'll never celebrate our actual anniversary at WDW (too many points ). So, to make up for that, we're celebrating in June (Disney cruise) and December (BWV).

Sorry for hijacking the thread, but I couldn't resist.

Kathy

 

[Sandy V.]

Then you could say that about every single wedding - that's it's all just a self-centered gift grab. Why attend any of them then? I don't buy it.

I still believe that most wedding couples aren't scheduling their big day to purposely hack off anyone or to prevent them from taking off on their own little getaway.

It really seems very petty to snipe about it - no one is holding a gun to an invited guest's head to make them attend. Politely decline and then go do what you want, but don't roast the bride and groom for having the audacity to pick a holiday weekend.

I planned my own wedding 21 years ago (my father was deceased; my mother mentally ill). I really don't care how "lame" anyone thought my wedding was! We actually had a guest fail to show up because we didn't have an open bar (couldn't afford one). We (still married!) continue to laugh about this idiot!

If you can't be a graceful guest, then I don't know why you would want to go to the wedding in the first place.

(Edited to add: I will concede that there probably ARE a number of weddings that are self-centered gift grabs, but that's not the thread topic here.)

 

[C.Ann]

It isn't any of my business on what date someone chooses to be married.. i would simply look at my options - the beach or the wedding - decide which one was preferable to me, and then act accordingly..

An invitation is exactly that - an invitation, not a summons.. No legal penalities if you prefer the beach..

 

[poohandwendy]

I don't think it is selfish or rude, but maybe not the best idea in the world. They may have reduced the amount of guests who will attend (which may be the point, LOL)...

 

[battricia]

I don't think it's rude or selfish at all. My best friend had her wedding on memorial day weekend (two years ago) and I'm glad she did, otherwise I'd have been sitting on my behind wondering what I was gonna do all weekend. Instead I got to spend her wedding day with her and her husband and good friends and family. The food wasn't bad at all, and it was airconditioned, though if it wasn't I still would have gone and had a good time.

tricia.

 

[WDWLVR]

I would say a little selfish but not rude. One of the girls I used to work with got married on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend (with Monday off). I asked her why that date and she said because Sunday weddings were cheaper and people could still come and have Monday off. I asked her if she thought it interfered with their other plans and she said too bad - they should give up their plans for her day.

Maybe my vote is tainted by her actions. She was a bit of a drama queen. Needless to say I didn't go.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by WDWLVR
I asked her if she thought it interfered with their other plans and she said too bad - they should give up their plans for her day.

----------------------------------------------------

I would stay home to clean my TOILET before I would attend the wedding of someone with THAT attitude!

 

[Chattyaholic]

My son was married the Saturday of Memorial weekend in 1994. Most people who were invited attended, except...my best friend. She and her DH chose to go camping that weekend instead of attending our son's wedding. I was very, very hurt by it and she wanted to know why. She didn't understand that her decision not to come hurt me that badly. See, I am an only child and have never had the pleasure of having a real sister. To me, SHE has always been the "sister I never had" and in choosing to go camping rather than sharing our son's day with us it just cut me to the core. I asked her how she would feel if her brother didn't come to her son's wedding. Then she understood more how I felt about her decision and she was sorry she hurt me. We have since put it behind us, long ago, but this thread reminded me of it again.

I have to go with the majority here though, if you don't want your long holiday weekend "spoiled" by attending a family member or friend's wedding, then simply don't go.

 

[disykat]

I can't imagine even attending a wedding for someone I didn't love enough to WANT to be at their wedding even if it was inconvenient or uncomfortable for me. Just turn down the invitation. My brother used to tease us that they were planning a wedding at a nudist colony. We told him we'd be there and be naked if that was what he wanted. He was teasing, but they would have been within their rights to do so. Just like a destination wedding, etc. People choose to go or not - probably depending on how close they are to the couple.

I think the bride and groom should schedule what is convenient for them, the wedding party, and immediate family. For us, that was December 22nd. I KNEW that many local people wouldn't make it if they had travel plans. It would only be selfish and rude if they FORCED you to attend. I certainly hope I haven't been just deluding myself all these years thinking that we were surrounded by people who loved us and wanted to be there! We also had some lovely gatherings with people who missed the wedding but invited us for dinner, etc. to express their support and love for us. We had many people who couldn't come last minute because of a snowstorm - we also had many local folks that cancelled travel plans and ended up coming after all (It wasn't a dinner so we didn't do RSVP's). It ended up being wonderful.

 

[luvwinnie]

My opinion is have your weddingwhen YOU want...if people don't want to come, they don't have to.